Oulupair

I don't know if anyone remembers my original post, and I can't find it in the archives, but several years ago I wrote feeling very frustrated that my husband seemed to be against the idea of me working at the same company where he worked. A lot of people on here pointed out that I shouldn't feel angry about that because it wouldn't be as great as it sounds and why would I want to work at the same company as my spouse, etc etc.

Well, good things come to s/he who waits. In February, my hubby was laid off , so I immediately let my boss know that he was looking for work, and after 3 months of unemployment, my hubby accepted a contract position at my company. It's only for up to 6 months (although may turn into a permanent offer in the meantime), but the arrangement is working out great and I LOVE it! People on here cautioned me that we would get tired of seeing so much of each other, but I've actually found that we argue much less since he started his new job. I've also found that having him work there too adds a valuable perspective to my work. He gets along fine with colleagues that I find difficult to deal with, and vice versa. When I need to vent about stuff that's not going well he can really understand, and when he needs to vent I can likewise emphathize. I do realize that there is a practical consideration..that there is a double risk of getting laid off if spouses are working at the same company, but from a social and personal achievement point of view, I think it's great.

I am so proud that I have finally been able to use my connections to help out family and also proud that our lifestyle is completely different from the old-fashioned and conservative ones that our parents raised us in. Both of our mothers were stuck in the kitchen for most of their lives... cooking, cleaning, serving everyone; and my dad declined to help me get a foot in the door at his company and most of his work is classified so it's not an easy place to just go and introduce yourself.

So, I finally learned how to network...and it worked! :dance:

I read an article on this very issue recently, which I don't agree with completely, but it had an interesting take and it made me think.

http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com/9.htm

It's a cultural thing, definitely. That article sounds like it was written by someone who is very old-fashioned and conservative and not very enlightened. If a name has nothing to do with identity, then why is it not common for the husband to take his wife's name? I mean, if the writer of that article really thinks that a shared last name is so important, they should suggest that a man taking his wife's name is just as meaningful.

I kept my name because it just felt natural to do so. I am a feminist, and I like being different. My Finnish husband thinks it's cool that I kept my own name and for a while he considered taking my name but then didn't bother to act on it.

My husband's parents are an interesting case. They actually had the same last name before they married even though they were not directly related (nope...nope..I'm sure there was no inbreeding there), so nobody can really tell for sure who took whose name or if they each kept their own name.

There is a new Boston-based success group starting. It will mostly conduct meetings through conference calls and online postings, because past experiences have shown that trying to hold regular meetings in person is unrealistic, and also because membership won't be limited to Boston residents...anyone serious about networking is welcome to join.

For those who are unfamiliar with success groups, they are networking groups set up to get people connected with the right contacts to help them reach their goals. We are going to need members with goals and connections in all areas.

If anyone is interested, please PM or e-mail me at caroline.liebenow@gmail.com

**Anyone can join, but in my first post I forgot to mention that the group will be targeted towards scanners, or Renaissance souls- people who enjoy having multiple career interests.. I apologize for forgetting this detail, I'm new at recruiting For info about scanners http://www.barbarasher.com/boards/viewforu...09111fab8ba18**

I'm looking for where the cost comes into it, lol

There is no cost....it's just a group being formed for the sole purpose of networking.

Is this like Amway?

No, it's a club, not a business

I left my art gallery job a little over a month ago, realizing that unfortunately having a passion for the arts doesn't help one like or succeed in a job like that...it's all about hard-core sales tactics which I'm not and never have been suited to.

My new job, which I will start on Monday, involves hand-manufacturing (as opposed to operating mass-production equipment) various products for a hi-tech company less than 5 miles from where I live. I submitted an application last week, interviewed yesterday, and was hired today. I'm excited to finally find something that suites my personality and that combines my fine craft background with hi-tech.

Even better, my commute is now shorter than my husband's

There is a new Boston-based success group starting. It will mostly conduct meetings through conference calls and online postings, because past experiences have shown that trying to hold regular meetings in person is unrealistic, and also because membership won't be limited to Boston residents...anyone serious about networking is welcome to join.

For those who are unfamiliar with success groups, they are networking groups set up to get people connected with the right contacts to help them reach their goals. We are going to need members with goals and connections in all areas.

If anyone is interested, please PM or e-mail me at caroline.liebenow@gmail.com

Renaissance Souls are people who enjoy constantly having multiple career interests and who find it frustrating and annoying to be told by friends and family that they should just "get it together and pick one thing to focus on".

As a newly-discovered RS myself, one of my many projects it to help career coach and fellow RS Margaret Lobenstine to spread the word about Renaissance Souls:

- for employers, to learn how companies can attract and benefit from RS

- for career coaches, how counseling techniques differ for RS versus non-Renaissance Souls

We are looking for employers, organizations, and career counselors who would like articles, presentations, and/or reference materials on Renaissance Souls. If you have any leads, please contact with me or Margaret. Her website is http://www.togetunstuck.com/

Thanks!

Most forms of Cancer were cured at least 10 years ago, but the drug companies don't want us to know or they will lose a heap of money

You've got to wonder why the aforementioned drug companies pay my best friend a lot of money to test new cancer drugs if they've already found the cure, then ...

I agree that a cure for cancer has already been found; the reason why it doesn't seem like that is because a large part of survival has to do with genetic strength to fight the illness, as well as a determined state of mind. This is just a theory among western medical experts, but as far as I'm concerned it's valid. My mother died of cancer even though she had access to the best treatments available; whereas I've seen other people survive with only mediocre health care. Ever heard the phrase "your attitude can make you well?"

He is exactly 11 weeks older than me He likes to joke that I like "older" men

Amazing to think that on the day I was born, if only my mother had known that her future son-in-law had just been born 11 weeks earlier, halfway across the world

We went through Boston and it was very easy...process took less than 10 minutes. Our only complaint was that the officials were very grumpy (probably due to it being late in the evening).

I agree with everyone's comments on all of the issues except the porn part. To me porn is no big deal and shouldn't be a big deal for you or any other married women either... I don't know, maybe my husband and I are just exceptionally open-minded and relaxed about that, but we've been married for over 5 years and I've never felt insulted by him watching porn. I actually think that it enhances our romantic life.

Remember that there are some things about human nature that cannot be changed after marriage, children, etc. Men are still men...

Galwayman we're in Nashua NH- we should meet up! I proposed a New England meetup a little while ago..maybe summer would be a perfect time for it. I plan on leaving my current job by the end of June, so after that hubby and I should have more leisure time.

Hi,

I just want to know how do people cope been on their own while your partner works and your waiting for the EAD to come.

I have been here since march 7th due to pre wedding commitments. We got married april 21st and had such a wonderfull day. My family were here for a week and my parents two weeks.

My wife works long hours in her job. Im basically alone for 8 hours every day. We struggle because i cant work and its frustrating as the money is way better in MA in computer support than what i earned back home in ireland. Im about to send in the greencard forms as we had problems getting tax clearance forms from the accountant. So thats another 3 months before i can legally work.

I miss ireland, i miss my family. I miss living in a city. I miss just meeting up with friends and having a few beers in a good old irish pub. There are lots of things i miss which makes it even harder. I havent met one irish person here since we moved over. We have friends but we only see them at the weekend as their lives are just as busy. To top it all off we are living with my wifes parents until i can work and then buy our own house. We live in the middle of nowhere in NH.

But you know what i love my wife and this struggle is only short term. We made the decision to move from ireland to the US.

Same here....Mothers' Day is hard for me as my mom passed away 3 years ago when I was 28. I miss her every day, but on special days like this one it comforts me to know that there are many out there who understand. I know that our departed moms are watching over us

My thoughts are with everyone who has lost their mom too soon.

I would say our quality of life here is much better than it was in nordic Europe. When we lived in northern Finland, it seemed we were always struggling to pay rent, I found it sooo difficult to find work, and overall we just didn't have so many choices there. We could barely afford one car and I was always the one who got stuck having to use a bicycle (and I even like exercising!) Here in the U.S. we got 2 decent cars for free (they're both pretty old of course- one of them nearly an antique), both got jobs no problem, good insurance plan, we've already saved up a fair amount of money, and our living quarters, although the same type as we had in Finland, is bigger and a better value than what we used to have. Of course we go through difficult moments now and then, but for the most part coming here has definitely been worth it. The only thing we really miss from Finland is our friends, and the sauna (which we plan to build for ourselves when we buy a house). But, when we were in Finland, we missed having a bathtub!

I'm a little surprised to see people commenting that the U.S. doesn't respect foreign job applicants and foreign degrees, because my experience was that things are much the same or even worse in that sense, in Europe. In certain places in Europe they won't even let you be a cleaner or shop clerk if you are a foreigner unless you get a certificate of training from a local school, and sometimes they require you to be a naturalized citizen! I am a member of a couple of international online forums where people are constantly complaining about that. And of course there are some occupations requiring certification where it would be hard to transfer that certification internationally almost anywhere without a local degree or certification, like nursing, electrician work, teaching,etc. So please don't make it sound like the United States is the only country that doesn't recognize certain foreign degrees and qualifications.

I also want to second what Americanlass said about using particular regions or states to represent the country as a whole....sometimes if you're disappointed overall or things are going rough, the problem is the particular state or area where you are living, not the country itself and you would probably have a better experience if you lived elsewhere.

its always the UK and CAN nationals talking ####### about OUR country.

The US doesn't have the lock on the best of everything in the world, some countries do some things better, and that's not a bad thing, it's just reality. For example, Hershey's does not = good chocolate.

As a self-admitted chocoholic, I just had to step in here. Keep in mind that Hershey's is not the only all-American chocolatier. In my opinion Ghirardelli (California-based) is right on par with the world's finest, such as Belgium's Godiva and Callebaut, Switzerland's Lindt, and Finland's Fazer. I agree Hershey's sucks, but the point is if you count the better brand names, American chocolate is just as good as European chocolate.

The Canadian system that I went through is more advanced than what I've seen here. Media reports HERE have said that students in the US are behind other countries, as much as 2 years. I agree.

Then why are there so many international students interested in studying in the US? It can't be simply for the multicultural experience, because there are many other countries to choose from. My brother once knew someone from Canada who crossed the border to Maine to attend university because the deal she got there was, in her own words, better and cheaper than what was available to her in Canada....

Sorry, but I disagree.....it's time for someone to give a little credit (no pun intended) to the American education system... I think it's one of those things that are used as a scapegoat for other problems.

It's definitely a cultural thing, as well as a sign of the times. I kept my own name...it was an easy decision to make, and my husband has never given it a second thought. For me it's just a modern thing to do.

Hyphenation was not a likely alternative for me: Liebenow-Sarajärvi...people would sprain their tongues trying to say it

Hubby just received his 2005 W2 tax statement and I've forgotten what to do with tax matters here in the U.S. I did a google search but rather than sort through all of the mumbo jumbo and just get a clear answer to my question, I thought I'd ask on here.

So is the W2 statement for Federal taxes (IRS)? Is this the statement that we use to file Fed. taxes by that notorious April deadline?

The statement contains several different copies and a couple of them say "this copy for state, local, or city income tax return" but where we live there are no local or state income taxes, so I guess we just ignore that part?

Thanks for any advice!

Hi galwayman and welcome! I'm originally from the western region of MA (the Berkshires), now living in Nashua NH, and I work in Burlington MA. The weather has been changing in extremes...bitter cold for a couple of days, then beautifully warm, then cold and stormy again...typical of New England.

I would say that it probably shouldn't take too long to settle into life here...I mean of course it all depends on the individual, but for the most part New England has such a lot of European influence that I think the transition will be smooth for you. I take it you are from Ireland? Especially if you plan to settle in or near Boston, it is steeped in Irish heritage, I'm sure you'll feel right at home. Probably the biggest adjustment will be getting used to driving everywhere if you don't live in the city; people rarely use bikes or buses.

I've been thinking about suggesting a New England meetup, anyone got any ideas?

But I must warn you..........the drivers are crazy (especially around Boston)!!! {{{HUGS}}}

It makes sense though, considering that we Massachusetters are revolutionaries who have no respect for rules and regulations

My husband had a job lined up before arrival in the U.S., but he also kinda had an unfair advantage because it was a transfer position. However, after he had settled in to the job here in New Hampshire, he got another offer from a different company in Maryland that had learned about him via internet, but the offer was an old one because he hadn't checked that e-mail account in a long time since he was no longer looking for work.

I found my job (art gallery, retail) by strolling through a mall and submitting a resume in response to "now hiring" in-store signage.

I'm not sure that it is getting harder to find work here in the U.S.; I think it may be more of a case where many people are more selective about what they do for a living so it makes jobs seem more scarce, especially since it is more common to have a bachelor's degree or masters/Ph.D. than ever before. But as the saying goes "the best jobs are the hardest ones to get".

I think that it also has a lot to do with where you live. Even if the economy is booming, that does not mean that every area in the country has a lot to offer.