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LostInUSA posted a topic in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration BenefitsHello. Congratulations to all of you in amazing, loving relationships and marriages. I have been here for about 6 months. Got married 3 days after landing thinking it would be awesome. Been in a LDR for 4 years. Had our ups and downs but always took his side and helped him through the . So, I paid to get here, paid for EVERYTHING. The application, medical, flight, shipping, flying my pet over. I landed with $40. I've left my (very small) family, hundreds of friends, a good paying full time job, fully furnished house to be with this man (he didn't want to leave his huge family, only just got a job because no one would help him with sponsorship with me). Since being here, we've ended up moving into his cousin's basement. My stuff still in boxes and suitcases, the cat chasing and catching mice, spiders everywhere... I never go out, I don't see much in the way of sunlight. My only $40 was spend on a birth control pill that he told me I had to get because he couldn't afford protection. If I ask to go out anywhere, I get hell. I've seen my US friends twice since being here. He gets so crabby with me if I am texting friends or if I'm gaming with them. He got SO angry when I was out with his cousin to help her in Ikea. Very much a 'i don't like you doing things' attitude. My husband argues with me constantly, has told I'm not welcome here, nearly threw me out of his car in the pouring rain on a highway because I asked him to slow down. He refuses to put in the Adjustment of Status forms for reasons he won't tell me, he never seems to have any money even though his mother has given him over $1.5k, always gives me hell about nothing, I've recently found he's got folders full of female facebook "friends" and his other cousin's girlfriend's photographs and videos of them performing sex acts on his phone, messages arranging meet ups and asking for sex with his ex/best friend dated right up until I landed... I've also found cartoon porn of children!!! He's also on an online blog saving links to very, very young women performing gross acts. Texts looking for cocaine... This is all just the tip of the iceberg. I cannot count the amount of times he has cheated on me since we got together. He's giving me because I'm homesick and don't feel comfortable. I miss being out and about, makes me out to be a bad person for not being intimate with him because his hygiene is terrible. Honest to god, he's probably showered 5 times and cleaned his teeth 4 since I've been here. It's very his way or no way around here. He's so manipulative and argumentative. Absolutely everything is twisted to being my fault. So, I'm stuck. I have spent all of my money getting here and marrying this guy who said he loved me and I was the only one. I'm getting the and being told I have to lighten up "for better or worse", that I have to give myself up and have sex with him to stop him wandering etc.. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be in this terrible relationship. I don't want to be with a man who treats women like this and has a load on the side. God knows how. I don't love him. This is awful and I've spoken to online councillors because I have felt suicidal. I am so broken. He's told me if I speak to his family about anything he has done, he'll just throw me out and I'll end up getting deported. He's, allegedly, wiped the SD card of all the gross he had on it but has told me before that he knows of apps to retrieve deleted data. I love this country and I love my friends I have here. I'm so ashamed of everything that's happened and happening, no one (apart from his family) knows I'm/we're married. What can I do? I'm stuck, not a penny to my name, cannot drive, work, or make calls without him giving me hell for numbers appearing on the bill (so I use other online messaging services). What options are out there for situations like this? I can't live like this, I cannot return back to the UK as I have no money and no home or job to go to... Please... Any help would be greatly appreciated. - A friend in need.