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Jelly2011

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    Jelly2011 reacted to JessNZ in Some K1 relationships sound crazy   
    Maybe the opposite is true - yes it's a very stressful process, but going through all this to be together shows how much we love each other doesn't it?
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    Jelly2011 got a reaction from JessNZ in Some K1 relationships sound crazy   
    Its a bit more complicated than what you suggest.
    When Jay and I met online we spoke to each other for nearly a year before ever agreeing to meet in person. We needed to meet in person because there are limitations to the internet and little things can add up quick. You must meet in person because that is the only way you will ever know how you truly are together. Jay came here for two weeks. It was essential that he do so to find out if he would like it in the States enough to move here and to see how we got on in the same space. Two weeks is really nice but even so its not enough time. We then decided to do a three month visa waiver while the 129F is pending approval. He leaves soon and has spent most of the three months here to get use to the area and living here as a family. This gives us great comfort as we are more confident in our choices and feel better about the process and what is to come. Soon he will return home to the UK and he had to make special arrangements with family and friends in order to return home. He could not keep his house and yes he is giving up a great deal. However he still has another three months to decide if this is what he really wants with the fiancee Visa. Over all that is a solid two years of getting to know each other, but 6 and a half months total to see how we are in person. That is very important and necessary when making those difficult choices.
    Immigration is a serious test on a relationship and its commitment. It demands a great deal from the individuals on both sides. However it is not a great deal of time. Especially when you consider our military families that spend 6mths to a year apart for deployments on a regular basis. To have to only do it once is well worth it. You have to think about what your doing and the investment of time and money. It isn't cheap and you have to work at it. That is a major part of everyday life. If you can get through this process then you have many things to look forward to. Nothing is guaranteed or full proof. Everything comes with a risk of some kind, but there is nothing wrong in trying to live a dream and going for it. No point in sitting on the sidelines you have to get in the game if you want to win it and life demands active participation. Otherwise your not living your just enduring and there is no fun in that at all.
    We feel very good about our relationship, the bonds we have established and how we live and work together as a family. We are looking forward to the process and do not mind the time it takes or the process. Oh sure we would love to know when everything will magically fall into place the when,where,what and how but we also enjoy the mystery and time of exploration. I can tell you the honeymoon period and infatuation has long ago worn off. We argue and get crabby and talk direct about what we like,don't like and sometimes we have a bad day. Still we love,laugh and live a very happy life.
    It is stressful for many reasons. For one Jay cannot drive here on visits so he does not have the independence I would like. He cannot go out and explore on his own what he enjoys most here and his own little niche or place. He lives with us and depends on us to get him through. With this visit he now knows he can and trust us to be here for him. That is very comforting and makes a difference but it also plays on his need to provide and be needed. Thankfully he has found in person just how much he is needed by this new family and he is content with the little bit of time he will not be working for what he will be gaining.He wants to work but knows he can't until the paperwork is complete and to not have income effects a person very deeply. But its temporary and it will change when he returns on an approved Visa /permanent resident etc... He will be very busy getting married,licensed and settling in that he will not have time to really notice the time it takes to get his work approval. But getting there takes time and effort. There will be plenty of time to overcome these obstacles and if these are the least of our worries than we are truly blessed and have so much to look forward to.You must think it through,take your time,create your own opportunities to establish a solid relationship and comply with the rules. Pretty straight forward really and a test of your commitment. The challenge is a fun discovery and we are good with it. Anything worth having never comes easy.
    I don't know I think it all needs to be kept in perspective. We understand the point of view of immigration and what they ask of us. We don't have a problem with going through the process. We are enjoying our time together and it makes us stronger. We look forward to when we can live on the same continent but its not the most important thing. We just take things as the come.Its a wild ride but we have had a great time and are better for it. That's what really matters. Hope that helps.
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