charlize56

She's been here a bit over a year and she's having this reaction. Make's me wonder what her underlying reasons for feeling this way are. Homesickness, no work, not fitting in, feeling like a nanny and not a wife, she is responsible for the home and kids but not in control of the kids, etc... Could be lots of reasons this is coming up, I'd assume you've seen the warning signs before now. I'm guessing this lashing out and demanding is because she does not feel she has a life here. Its not her kids and a big fear she'll not have her own children. No work, so she has no pride in what she can bring home economically, something that bothered my wife a lot, your wife may fear she'll never have work here. Even now that's she's working, she fears her work isn't stable and she may be out of a job again. Fear is a big driver that can bring out this type of reaction and make her want to change everything or run away back home.
I'll assume, there I got again assuming but you haven't given us a lot to work with, that you love your wife and want to build your life with her. Start trying to find out what her fears are. Try to reassure her about them and help her to find the solution to them. Try to find out what she's really missing in life here, its not easy to build a life in America, and it could be she feels she's getting swallowed up by someone else's life. I know some women are not the best at explaining where their fears are coming from, they just react and lash out when they feel them. But if you work at it, you can find most of them. I have to deal with my wife's fears to, she'll say things she doesn't really mean also. Not really the best way to deal with it, but hey some people react that way. She's learning better ways as we work on her fears and the things that brings up her homesickness bouts. Your wife might say she wants to return home, she may say to send the kids to their mother so you two can start your own family, but I think they are only surface reactions to things going on underneath that you'll need to find and work on.
Good luck, I hope you and your wife can find what's truly bothering her, find solutions and keep your marriage and love alive.

I hope I misunderstood you.
Your new wife wants you to give up custody of your two young boys, because she wants her own? Great. Tell her to go find a guy who doesn't have children. I hope you're not even considering this. Put her on the first plane back.
Do you have any idea the damage it would do to your boys if you ship them off, essentially reject them, in favor of "new" kids? You can't do that to them. If she doesn't want your boys then she doesn't want you. End this before she gets pregnant. She will never treat your boys like her own. Don't hurt them that way, please.

i had no dreams of moving to the US, especially now that it seems to be economically ill. even as my petition is in progress, i have fears of what kind of life i would have in the US. i am from the philippines and unemployed for the past year but i still manage to put food on the table for me and my daughter, one thing i may not be able to do in the US.there are other countries that offer better opportunities,but my fiance is american and loves his country so much and would not consider relocating, so no choice..

Health insurance sucks, paid vacations are non existant, ditto for maternity leaves, guns everywhere and super costly education. No, I don't love the US (America is a continent, not a country), but, alas, sometimes you have to make some sacrifices in life.

no consience,she doesnt know how to appreciates what you did for her and her family.

Since your husband has some patience issues, going to a driving school is your best route. I don't think everyone has to do the same though, I just started my driving lessons and Wade is my teacher. I don't have a permit yet so I only drive in his dad's property. On my first try I almost ran into a tree but he never yelled at me. He have been so patient with me and constantly boosting my self-confidence.
Learning to drive is indeed hard and involves a lot of patience but every driver go through it. Good luck on your next test, you can make it!

I think you guys are being a little harsh with the OP. We DON'T KNOW why the husband's visa was denied. Saying he has a "secret" facebook account to entertain ohter girls is pure speculation, not to say invention and I don't think it's particularly helpful.
The top priority is for the OP to learn what the denial is based on, from the embassy point of view. The husband already said he doesn't know why it happened. Harassing him and reproaching him the outcome of the interview sounds useless to me right now.
You're missing the point where the OP says he was in background checks for an incredibly long time at USCIS stage. They were not looking at his facebook account at that time. There was already a red flag in this case. It seems credible to me that it is related to the age difference, but we don't have all the information the COs had, for all we know he might have a criminal record or something else.

A man marrying an older woman in Turkey is unusual, they must have seen that as a red flag and it looks like he did not convince them during the interview.
Does he have any children? How old is he? What job does he do? Where does he live?
I've lived in Turkey for 5 years, and I've seen an incredible number of men taking advantage of female tourists. It is very common for a certain category of young guys to hook up with a European or American girl, pretend they're in love, while they actually are married or engaged and only interested in the money/free sex/entertainment/immigration benefits. You wouldn't believe what I witnessed...
I'm not saying it's the case with your husband, but I'm pretty sure the US embassy is very aware of that, and the age difference made them suspect a scam. You're gonna need a lot of work to prove it is a bona fide relationship.
Good luck!

Does she have a dog? if so..she can send him....

... suggest St. Mary's ...
... lesser people, lesser problem...

AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OMG!!!!!!!

Does your cousin know that you're married?

Must say i had to read this post twice, I am hoping that gretchen, while young, is wise and can understand all this. Any asawa would be insulted when described as a "Friend" to friends and or family. I would think any guy who has gone thru the process of getting ( his asawa here, would be shouting from the mountain tops about his fiancee,( wife). Personally I would have taken the time to tell everyone , parents and friends, all the details about the relationship especially in this case with all the potential issues. I would never put my asawa in a situation that could blow up, its hard enough on her to be away from home, without a good support system, but to have to deal with a husband that describes her as a friend, and a family with no knowledge of her existance is beyind the pail.
Think I will just leave it at that.... being nice

omg! sometime i was thinking about things like that,you cant trust people even if they are ur relatives,people that can go in and out of ur house.Im always checking my cabinet everyday and make sure its all locked,there are some people that are so insecure so dont trust anyone!

I have a horror story too of when my wife first came here. But our relationship proved stronger. She adjusted within a few months, maybe 8, for the most part, after coming to terms with what she felt in her heart. She learned to drive, got multiple jobs, became committed in our church, made Filipina friends here... She stays very busy...very...
Just today we were at a store, and when it was time to pay she was digging for change so she wouldn't have to break a dollar. I started to dig for the change too. Then another customer also wanted to help, and the store clerk joined in too and paid the change herself, saying she didnt blame her to not want to break the dollar. And my wife laughed and blurted out, "I love it here, in America!" because of how everyone was so kind and wanting to help her. Things sure did change... Sometimes it takes time to sort through everything and adjust.

Disregard the reply above, I was reading the OLDER thread.
It is just two weeks, give it space. But I don't buy the reasoning she can't adjust. What is she doing right now? If she's just at home or in one place, I wouldn't be surprised she can't adjust. Take her to exciting place. Go for a LONG drive, say, to Florida Disneyland?

Kidding aside, does she socialize with people? I mean, does she get to meet new people, new friends? Does she have a job?
I came here in the US at age 22 and adjusting can be difficult but it takes courage and patience. I didn't want to mingle with Filipino community here when I came because they tend to be overly nosy and gossipy, especially the older female ones which made me terribily uncomforabl. Imagine, new culture, new ways, new "speak". I started to adjust when I started to attend community college. I became more acculturated when I had a part time job.
How long has she been there? Maybe try to get her to get some non-credit courses at community college or whatever your local city offers. Just to get rid of boredom and meet new people.
Meeting new people is the key to adjustment.

Might be a higher probability in your neck of the woods, but the odds are pretty remote here in the SF bay area. Most of the cities up here are "sanctuary cities". I don't agree with it, but people who share my opinion are a small minority here.
I've lived in the US my entire life, and never had an encounter with immigration officials when I wasn't crossing the border by land, sea, or air. I've lived in border states, but not within 100 miles of the border. I suppose there's a chance they could show up at your house if you had a K1 living there who had not yet adjusted status, but I've never heard of that happening. I've also never heard of a K1 being deported who was eligible to adjust status, but didn't for lack of money. I've heard of them getting jacked around and held in custody, and the spouse having to produce a marriage certificate and getting a stern warning about filing ASAP, but I'd guess that happens in a tiny fraction of the cases of K1's who don't file a timely petition.
I'm not one to say "Don't worry. Everything is fine." By the same token, I don't believe the situation is as dire as some make it out to be. I know a few people who planned everything out in advance and had a solid financial plan, saved every penny they could, and got clobbered with expenses they never expected or had any way to deal with. I know one guy who burned through his AOS money because he had to stay in Vietnam 3 weeks beyond his available vacation time because of hangups at the consulate. I sure wasn't going to chew him out for choosing to fight for the visa, and then not have any available cash for a timely AOS filing.
I just don't want anybody to get scared to death with stories of deportation, and end up making a potentially disastrous financial decision out of fear. The likelihood of anything bad happening as a result of postponing the AOS for a few months is relatively remote for most people. It's a high priority, like I said, and should be done as soon as possible, but don't do anything stupid like robbing a bank to get the cash - it's not THAT urgent.

tell him to cook his own damned food then

You should kick her dirty *ss to the curb for giving you a hard time.
Those people at the CFO seminar are all control freaks and power trippers. I think they behave this way because their jealousy is driving them crazy..
Give them what they are asking for. Get that BS certificate, Flip her the bird and move on!
Best of Luck!

I would stop reading at those sites. They are uninformed. Stick with VJ

No. That's NOT what the 90 days is for. The 90 days is to give you time to organise the wedding. You should already KNOW you want to marry the person, its not a "try out the relationship" visa

Another Dr. Phil wanna be.

Shouldn't you be focused on uploading (more) provocative / risque videos?

You 2 are funny! :rofl:
Well, I almost did kissed it but I didn't since I do not want to messed up my lipstick!