TheMilner

Darnell I travel around this Country every year (over 15 years) 20/30 times per year to give conference about domestic violence to counselors,social workers and psychologists, to provide them with information about what they can advise or not to the DV victims .The advise you gave here to this woman IT'S DAMN WRONG! . WE domestic violence advocates will not tell/advise to the victims to reconcile /work in their marriage when psychical abuse is happening,and nobody should advise either.
The first thing we have to tell to the victim is LEAVE THE ABUSER NOW,SEEK A SAFE PLACE, and later on you think about your marriage. The person's safety comes first than her/his marriage. This woman is being physically abused ,please never ever suggest/advise to victims of domestic violence to put themselves in danger! to stay in the same house,to talk with the husband.This is a really bad advise.When a victim call the domestic violence helpline,the victim will not hear " honey calm down,seat with him, talk to him,maybe he is in "pain, stress out", nope, the victim will hear GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW AND CALL THE POLICE!
If the abuser later on attend one year of anger management classes,individual therapy for at least 6 months, then the abused person might seat and talk to the abuser. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE such as pain, stress. Domestic violence and abuse is just about the abuser to gain and maintain total control of the victims! it's about POWER AND CONTROL,that is it!
Each year 220.000 women are battered in this Country, around 3.000 women are murdered every year in the USA. I ask you and everyone here if you read ,heard or saw someone being abused please tell the person "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW"!, saying the right thing can save someone's life.
In the US: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).

Not all disabilities are visible to the naked eye. Appearances can be deceiving, so I think it's best not to comment on such a thing when we have no idea of the man's medical history.

I read his post, I'm just saying that people can use different words that arent that harsh.
Second of all, I'm glad I don't live in a place where a lot people tells me to "man up", "it's not only about you", "me me me", "man up, princess". Ofcourse, the OP can expect and will receive people telling him what to do, if only some members would chose their words carefully..... It's about respect for each others feelings/situations/problems/etc.
Anyways, I'm not going into this discusion. All I did was showing a point that people do have to respect his broken heart and have some sympathy, although a lot of people thought he was very wrong, don't say hard things like that. This isn't high school, and I thought VJ is about supporting each other. If I was in the same situation and somebody would say "man up, princess, or jerk", then where is this forum going to? That's all.

I respect the fact that you poured your heart out here, you're hurt, I get that. But like the above poster writes; you did not understand why she went into the hosp. and then you did the same.
I'm not pregnant and do not have raging hormones - and I think your response is way off base.
Good luck.

From your posting it sounds like you are stuck in your own egocentric world. She got you a Valentine's present and it got lost, so what? She did try, what else do you want from her. And then you go off and have a hissy fit about her not caring about you when she did send something.
All you did was call to see how she was doing in the hospital. It seems like her family was trying to see how far you would go for her (you did say you would do anything for her) but you didn't try to visit. You don't know if the message from you ever got past her parents, she may think that you didn't care about her while she was sick.
How is it that when she is sick she gets one phone call from you but when you are sick it is a total meltdown....?

I don't want to make this topic any longer, but here are my 2-cents:
I kind of think that the OP is the woman, but who knows.

I don't want to make this topic any longer, but here are my 2-cents:
I kind of think that the OP is the woman, but who knows.

I don't want to make this topic any longer, but here are my 2-cents:
I kind of think that the OP is the woman, but who knows.