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kennym

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  1. Like
    kennym got a reaction from Mimicherie in is my fiance a fraud?   
    You and only you, know how your BF is...
    It's very interesting that he hasn't had his interview yet, and is acting that way.. Seems pretty arrogant..
    The fact is; love is blind, nobody can say anything that you dont already know.. Just remember, if he gets here and you submit the I864 (Affidavit of Support) on his behalf, you're stuck no matter what.. Ask yourself if you feel confident enough in him to sign up for that kind of responsibilty potentially for the rest of your life..
    Put asside the heebee jeebees and the butterflies and the romantic memories and think clearly for a bit, then be honest with yourself and make a descission and stick to it..
    You gotta be carefull with someone that arrogant at this stage of the game..
  2. Like
    kennym got a reaction from TBoneTX in 12 Year Old in Trouble - Need some advise   
    Well,
    I guess I can see where I screwed up.. I consulted the wrong resources and made some really bad assumptions... let's hope I didnt screw up so bad that My step-daughter and my wife continues suffer because of my ignorance..
    No excuses - just plain stupidity on my part...
    AoS packet will be submitted today, Attorney fees are about 3500.. But nothing compared to happiness it gives my wife, having her daughter here with us..
    I am extremely satisfied so far with the Attorney... they seem very knowledgeable... I might have been able to submit this on my own, but they are also doing some other stuff related to the case to help us.. so we are ok with the cost and having the peace of mind behind having them on our side...
    We'll keep everyone posted as things develop...
  3. Like
    kennym got a reaction from I AM NOT THAT GUY in 12 Year Old in Trouble - Need some advise   
    CBP contacted my wife and returned the passport to her today...
  4. Like
    kennym got a reaction from Monica2013 in My K1 status wife will leave; questions on CR1 or K3 return   
    I want to add, in my personal esperience.. the things my wife showed me and did while she struggled to find ways to manage shocked me.. it progressively became worse.. One time I saw her just walking down the street and saw her crying.. I was completely caught off guard by the emotional things she struggled with and how she handled it all.. At times, we both felt like you guys.. One thing that helped us to to let her know, there wasnt a reason once she had her AP and GC that she couldn't go back to her home country and spend time there.. That sense that she wasn't "Stuck" here help a lot.. But honestly it wasnt easy.. I remember thinking, :this wasnt the women I married... There were times when we used the "D" word and considered just giving up.. Honestly, I could have been more sensitive to what she was going through, bur too often, I reacted badly at first, then caught myself being an inconsiderate "Dumb A$$" and realized I can't judge her on the same level as I would have; if I had Spouse from down the street.. Really, no two people react the same way emotionally to similiar circumstances..
    You can't dismiss her current emotional state as anything else, until you and her have time to get through this adjustment period..
    Our experience was not unique.. I learned from others who I met in person (through VJ) who dealt with many of the same deep emotions (in some cases worst) than us.. You know latinas and latin countries (ok, basically anyplace outside the US) have some very diferent social activiites than Americans.. Our lives are typically low keyed (for the most part), our families aren't as close, and many Americans dont understand these factors.. Your family and friends (unless they've been outside the US for any significant time) also will not understand it.. So; dont rely on thier guidance or couseling.. repeat; dont rely on thier guidance or couseling.. .. Again dont rely on thier guidance or couseling.. .. Please; this is huge.. Marriage couseling also rarely is as effective as "Understanding"... In the end, she will love you more for that, then any other single thing and naturely your relationship will strengthen with time..
    My suggestion is try really hard to put yourself in her shoes... and try really hard to understand how the diferences may be affecting her..
    Listen, on a seperate note, get her AOS sumitted.. That way if she at least has her AP doc, and; if she must leave on an urgent basis, she can with no major concequences..
    Plan a couple of trips, either together or her alone.. Buy the tickets and put them on the dresser.. so at least she knows, there is a option to make trips back every once-in-a-while...
    UNDERSTANDING her is key at this stage..
  5. Like
    kennym got a reaction from user19000 in Pregnant... Should I Continue K1 Process   
    You like scripture? Me too...
    "But if any man does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. " 1 Timothy 5:8
    "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, " Ephesians 5:25
    "Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. " Col 3:19
    Ephesians 4:32 teaches, "forbear one another". This means to be gentle toward her. Control of temper, abstaining from physical violence and restraining a sharp tongue that makes one feel so inferior - are ways by which you can exhibit forbearance.
    Not that the OP was thinking about scripture when they were making babies..
    For those who need it;
    Definition: embittered (Verb)
    1.Cause (someone) to feel bitter or resentful.
    2.Give a sharp or pungent taste or smell to.
    Using scripture for only your benefit isn't fair.. You gotta apply all of it..
    Marriage is a partnership... Not a slave/master relationship... I have never met any "credible" paster, priest or any clergy that feels that women are to be at the mans feet or that's it's ok to be demeaning to a woman..
    But thats for those who use scripture to say women is to be subordinate to the "man" - that's simply horse doo doo..
  6. Like
    kennym got a reaction from user19000 in Pregnancy Help; Not Enough $$$; What to do?   
    What I hate is to hear that a common human requirement "medical care" can be sooo complex for many of us.. Whether the person is legal, USC, illegal, LPR or a cartoon character, I've always felt Medical Care is a god given right.. It shouldn't matter how much you make dont make or whatever..
    I cant answer how to make it happen, and this isn't the thread for it, but I hate that a young couple has to struggle to figure out where to get the money to have a baby.. or a diabetic needs to figure out how to pay supplies or whatever..
    The problems is complex.. Doctors are way over paid, pharmecueticals are all criminals, and the entire medical industry from the Medical school down to the bed sheet manufacturer needs to be put in place when it comes to prices and costs..
    I have a short story, but this is a perfect example why we all struggle with things like this..
    Years ago I was in Colombia working.. I became very sick with a severe infection.. My then fiance, now wife took me to the best Clinic in Medellin, Colombia. Although, My company provided me with Insurance which covered me anyplace in the world, I still must pay before I can be re-imbursed when outside the USA..
    Well, they ran all kinds of test.. MRI, CAT Scan, EEG, EKGs, ABC's and PTA's you name it, they did it to me.. I was was scared to death I was gonna get better, but they were gonna take me straight to jail after leaving the hospital because I thought the bill was gonna be in the 15-20 K range..
    I was admitted for a couple of days.. The hospital was gorgeous, almost country club style.. Ooh man, was I gonna pay.. After the treatment, I went to check out and talk to the business office about my bill and shockingly enough, the whole bill was less than 400 USD..
    First class doctors, facility, staff, meals, and everything that goes with it.. I was thinking my fiance, was gonna have to find help for me at the Embassy, but can you immagine? what would that have cost in the US...
    Why cant we control costs to at least something that's not so insane? We don't have the best medical system, we dont have the most sympathetic medical system. we dont have doctors that care, we just seem to tolerate the system and pay through the ying-yang for mediocre service..
    I hope you guys find an answer, sorry for the rant..
  7. Like
    kennym got a reaction from user19000 in We're different people than we were before marriage...   
    I remember thinking these exact thoughts recently.. I wouldn't ever give relationship advise, but this is to let you know; my wife and went through some really rough times.. Some times, our fights were so bad, I figured I had made a terible mistake even though I knew my wife for a few years before we ever started dating, then dated for 2 years before starting the visa process..
    The thing I am trying to say is; Cultural Adjustment and other emotional factors can make someone seem completely diferent. And we're clueless, because our conditioning as Americans makes us feel everyone is ready and anxious to come to the USA and be with rich americans.. But, that's not completely accurate..
    It doesn't matter if the Beneficiary is from the USA, a dirt poor third world country, or any rich developed country, it's normal for a person (women especially) to want to be with someone who offers security and stability as well as feeling loved.. It doesn't matter where people are from.. Those are important factors to you, your wife and any normal person..
    SO ask yourself before deciding you and your wife has changed;

    Does she feel emotionally secure?
    Does she feel supported?
    Does she feel loved?
    Does she feel free to chase her dreams?
    Does she feel hopeful of a future with stability, security and love?
    Does she feel you support her hopes and dreams?
    Is there anything you are doing to make her feel insecure?
    Is there anything you are doing to make her feel unsafe?
    Is there anything you are doing to make her feel unappreciated?

    I don't think we should ever fault anyone who enters enter into a relationship with a person for chance at a better life.. As long as love is part of it; people pursue opportunities for a better life all the time.. I personally feel that people often enter any relationship with the hopes that there is a better life in store... You can characterize however you want, but this is normal anywhere in the world...
    So if you understand that, becoming a better husband is easier..
  8. Like
    kennym got a reaction from user19000 in strange situation...   
    Jim, While I have the uptmost respect for your thoughts, I am not arguing Vietnamese Culture.. I don't beleive the US is very diferent in the part where we expect grown-ups to be resposnsible for their actions.. See below in the OP's initial Post..
    Instead of dealing with the matter, he's hoping the Immigation System will deal with it for him.. While Vietnamese traditions are in play here, I still believe in the values system which is not to diferent (in my experiences) from many other country.. Making adults accountable to local Laws (US) and Customs regardless of how they make thier descissions or the influences affecting those descission. Ultimately, we need to be responsible for our actions.. If an arranged Marriage in Vietnam is commonplace, then I beleive those marraiges are as genuine as any other marriage. In the Spouses mind, she must have felt thet she was entering into a legitimate relationship.. We dont know since the wife hasn't put her side into this discussion, so, it seems wrong to conclude this was a sham... Either way, I am not here to give relationship advise in this matter, but Using the Immigration system to escape responsibilities regardless of ones actions or bad descissions just simply seems wrong...
  9. Like
    kennym got a reaction from velrich in Husband doesn't want to file papers   
    I read this entire thread tonight for the first time.. I want to tell the OP how happy I am for her recent successes...
    But I really have to say how sad I was for you reading the attacks.. Some VJ'rs are so nasty.. And it's usually the same ones all the time..
    I really hope that those who love to attack realize how your comments can affect someone strugling with issues.. There simply isnt a good reason to attack regardless of the circumstances..
    I also want to add that I was amazed how well the OP handled herself against the hurtful things said.. I admire your inner strength.. Truly hope for the best for you and your son..
    Kenny
  10. Like
    kennym got a reaction from Mzsitch in is my fiance a fraud?   
    You and only you, know how your BF is...
    It's very interesting that he hasn't had his interview yet, and is acting that way.. Seems pretty arrogant..
    The fact is; love is blind, nobody can say anything that you dont already know.. Just remember, if he gets here and you submit the I864 (Affidavit of Support) on his behalf, you're stuck no matter what.. Ask yourself if you feel confident enough in him to sign up for that kind of responsibilty potentially for the rest of your life..
    Put asside the heebee jeebees and the butterflies and the romantic memories and think clearly for a bit, then be honest with yourself and make a descission and stick to it..
    You gotta be carefull with someone that arrogant at this stage of the game..
  11. Like
    kennym got a reaction from james&olya in i-864 petitioner lost his job and gets his food stamp   
    I hope you are doing ok..
    These stories of how men treat thier wives.. it just really is upsetting to hear.. Men that threat women like this simply are not men...
    God bless you.. how are you and your son doing?
  12. Like
    kennym reacted to kristinakan in is my fiance a fraud?   
    Ok, thank you guys for all your help. I have decided to withdraw the petition and move forward with my life. It is hard and sad, but i have to do what i think is best for me. Thanks again for all your kind comments and if i need anymore help along these lines, i know this is the site to come. Kathryn you can close this topic, I do not wish to further discuss, especially when people are telling me that my story doesn't add up. I didn't come here to make up stories and get comments questioning my honesty, i came here for help. I have received help and now i am in the process of putting it to good use. Thank you guys again. Goodbye.
    -Kristina
  13. Like
    kennym got a reaction from BethandBilly in is my fiance a fraud?   
    Child or not, you need to decide what is best for you.. You have no need to prove anything.. if you want to withdraw your Affidavit of support, do it ASAP..
    Email the Immigrant Visa Section of the Kingston Embassy and ask them how to withdraw..
    Unless someone else has some experience with this.. Anyone??
  14. Like
    kennym got a reaction from BethandBilly in is my fiance a fraud?   
    You and only you, know how your BF is...
    It's very interesting that he hasn't had his interview yet, and is acting that way.. Seems pretty arrogant..
    The fact is; love is blind, nobody can say anything that you dont already know.. Just remember, if he gets here and you submit the I864 (Affidavit of Support) on his behalf, you're stuck no matter what.. Ask yourself if you feel confident enough in him to sign up for that kind of responsibilty potentially for the rest of your life..
    Put asside the heebee jeebees and the butterflies and the romantic memories and think clearly for a bit, then be honest with yourself and make a descission and stick to it..
    You gotta be carefull with someone that arrogant at this stage of the game..
  15. Like
    kennym got a reaction from eagle+eyed in is my fiance a fraud?   
    LIFE'SJOURNEY
    can you provide a link or source where you got your information?
  16. Like
    kennym got a reaction from Ontarkie in is my fiance a fraud?   
    You and only you, know how your BF is...
    It's very interesting that he hasn't had his interview yet, and is acting that way.. Seems pretty arrogant..
    The fact is; love is blind, nobody can say anything that you dont already know.. Just remember, if he gets here and you submit the I864 (Affidavit of Support) on his behalf, you're stuck no matter what.. Ask yourself if you feel confident enough in him to sign up for that kind of responsibilty potentially for the rest of your life..
    Put asside the heebee jeebees and the butterflies and the romantic memories and think clearly for a bit, then be honest with yourself and make a descission and stick to it..
    You gotta be carefull with someone that arrogant at this stage of the game..
  17. Like
    kennym got a reaction from YJPlove in is my fiance a fraud?   
    I hate giving relationship advise..
    But only you know what kind of person he really is and your true reasons for questioning things.. The effort and money you put in, is nothing compared to the potential hardship you could face in a relationship with an abusive partner..
    THINK IT THROUGH, dont let the lost money and time factor into your decision.. it is completely about your safety and how you feel about this guy..
  18. Like
    kennym got a reaction from Confused 2 in is my fiance a fraud?   
    You and only you, know how your BF is...
    It's very interesting that he hasn't had his interview yet, and is acting that way.. Seems pretty arrogant..
    The fact is; love is blind, nobody can say anything that you dont already know.. Just remember, if he gets here and you submit the I864 (Affidavit of Support) on his behalf, you're stuck no matter what.. Ask yourself if you feel confident enough in him to sign up for that kind of responsibilty potentially for the rest of your life..
    Put asside the heebee jeebees and the butterflies and the romantic memories and think clearly for a bit, then be honest with yourself and make a descission and stick to it..
    You gotta be carefull with someone that arrogant at this stage of the game..
  19. Like
    kennym got a reaction from YJPlove in is my fiance a fraud?   
    You and only you, know how your BF is...
    It's very interesting that he hasn't had his interview yet, and is acting that way.. Seems pretty arrogant..
    The fact is; love is blind, nobody can say anything that you dont already know.. Just remember, if he gets here and you submit the I864 (Affidavit of Support) on his behalf, you're stuck no matter what.. Ask yourself if you feel confident enough in him to sign up for that kind of responsibilty potentially for the rest of your life..
    Put asside the heebee jeebees and the butterflies and the romantic memories and think clearly for a bit, then be honest with yourself and make a descission and stick to it..
    You gotta be carefull with someone that arrogant at this stage of the game..
  20. Like
    kennym got a reaction from meadowzephyr in is my fiance a fraud?   
    You and only you, know how your BF is...
    It's very interesting that he hasn't had his interview yet, and is acting that way.. Seems pretty arrogant..
    The fact is; love is blind, nobody can say anything that you dont already know.. Just remember, if he gets here and you submit the I864 (Affidavit of Support) on his behalf, you're stuck no matter what.. Ask yourself if you feel confident enough in him to sign up for that kind of responsibilty potentially for the rest of your life..
    Put asside the heebee jeebees and the butterflies and the romantic memories and think clearly for a bit, then be honest with yourself and make a descission and stick to it..
    You gotta be carefull with someone that arrogant at this stage of the game..
  21. Like
    kennym got a reaction from nicky&imad in is my fiance a fraud?   
    You and only you, know how your BF is...
    It's very interesting that he hasn't had his interview yet, and is acting that way.. Seems pretty arrogant..
    The fact is; love is blind, nobody can say anything that you dont already know.. Just remember, if he gets here and you submit the I864 (Affidavit of Support) on his behalf, you're stuck no matter what.. Ask yourself if you feel confident enough in him to sign up for that kind of responsibilty potentially for the rest of your life..
    Put asside the heebee jeebees and the butterflies and the romantic memories and think clearly for a bit, then be honest with yourself and make a descission and stick to it..
    You gotta be carefull with someone that arrogant at this stage of the game..
  22. Like
    kennym got a reaction from 1739 in is my fiance a fraud?   
    You and only you, know how your BF is...
    It's very interesting that he hasn't had his interview yet, and is acting that way.. Seems pretty arrogant..
    The fact is; love is blind, nobody can say anything that you dont already know.. Just remember, if he gets here and you submit the I864 (Affidavit of Support) on his behalf, you're stuck no matter what.. Ask yourself if you feel confident enough in him to sign up for that kind of responsibilty potentially for the rest of your life..
    Put asside the heebee jeebees and the butterflies and the romantic memories and think clearly for a bit, then be honest with yourself and make a descission and stick to it..
    You gotta be carefull with someone that arrogant at this stage of the game..
  23. Like
    kennym got a reaction from Married2009 in is my fiance a fraud?   
    You and only you, know how your BF is...
    It's very interesting that he hasn't had his interview yet, and is acting that way.. Seems pretty arrogant..
    The fact is; love is blind, nobody can say anything that you dont already know.. Just remember, if he gets here and you submit the I864 (Affidavit of Support) on his behalf, you're stuck no matter what.. Ask yourself if you feel confident enough in him to sign up for that kind of responsibilty potentially for the rest of your life..
    Put asside the heebee jeebees and the butterflies and the romantic memories and think clearly for a bit, then be honest with yourself and make a descission and stick to it..
    You gotta be carefull with someone that arrogant at this stage of the game..
  24. Like
    kennym got a reaction from TnJ in relationship disaster   
    VJ Moderators... Seiously??
    This OP has got to be a troll...
  25. Like
    kennym reacted to del-2-5-2014 in relationship disaster   
    I wonder how old these folks are, reads like high school drama.
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