Danni and Hamza

Still citing Joan Peters ?
Actually, the ancestors of those people living in Gaza include the ancient Canaanites as well as the ancient Hebrews, and they are part of a core population that has never lived outside of Palestine. Why should they be forced to leave their native homeland so that a bunch of European Jews can move in and turn it into their exclusive ethnocracy ?

Abraham was not Jewish. He is described in the Bible as a Hebrew, a linguistic designation, not a religious one. He settled in Canaan Now Palestine/Israel), and his first born was Ishmael, a son with his Egyptian concubine. Ishmael is considered by theologians as the first Arab. The first Arab was born in what is now Israel. There have been Arab in the region ever since.
Christian Palestinians are also involved in the leadership and support of Hamas.

I was at the supermarket this afternoon and picked up a pack of Boreos. Then I saw Oreos and, of course, switched it up. Woohoo! I've got the real thing!
It's not counterfeit unless there's a law which prohibits copying, and there is no such thing in Egypt. In fact, I can go over to the Library of Alexandria and they will print off a copy of whatever book I would like; it's one of the services they offer.
A $60 pair of shoes is a 360 LE pair of shoes in a place where people struggle to put food on the table for their families.

It's not theft when the people buying knockoffs would never in a million years be able to buy the real thing in the first place. As long as Adidas and Nike continue to run third world sweatshops, **** them.
Nike et al have to know that there are Olympic athletes that are poor. Instead of sponsoring those athletes and buying them gear, they oink in protest like the pigs they are. Knockoffs create their own microeconomies. Hounding poor people who would never be able to otherwise see
movies if they weren't pirated is ridiculous and blatantly lying when you tell them they're stealing food from people in the entertainment industry. No. The bloat at the top of that industry is responsible for that. But it's so much easier to blame it on random poor people in the developing ****ing world. Good grief.

People who we as individuals believe need our help, will only accept our help when they truly want it. We can only put it out there, and share our concern. Wether they choose to take that offer of help or not is on them. At least we know we put it out there. As adults we have to make our own choice, and live with the consequences. I worked in a Domestic violence shelter for a year, and we would generally see the same women in the shelter about 5 times before they decided to end the relationship once and for all, if they did at all. I will never understand the psychology in this. When I saw the women leave the shelter and go back to their abusers, i just wanted to grab them and say " what are you doing???" This really would have been pointless, because if they are not listening to their children s cries, and their own families pleas... then why in the world would they listen to me. So all we did as a shelter when these women told us that they were going back to their abusers was to give them the tools and information to try to stay safe while living with an abuser, and to let them know our doors are always open. I think this is the approach that anyone needs to take with anyone in their lives who are being abused. They more you try to push help/ advice / judge the more they will push you away, and will be less likely to come to you, when they decide they finally want the help. Unless you have been in one of these relationships, you can never fully understand the psychology of why a woman goes back to the abuse. Even the women in these situations don't fully understand. There is alot of power and control issues, self esteem issues, crazy making ( when a man actually makes a women believe she is crazy), sometimes financial issues, maybe she feels she deserved it, doesn't want to split up a family, religious reasons, "love", fear of being alone, fear of retaliation, abuser may make her feel guilty (I cant live without you), family pressure,,,ect. We can only guess at the reasons. If we truly care about a person who is being abuse the right thing to do is to let them know we are concerned, and are there to help them,and not to judge them... and to help them find the tools they need. Maybe since we now know this VJ member is staying with the abuser we could help her think of some ideas to help keep herself and kids safe.
-Know where your local shelter is
- talk to them about a safety plan, and talking to a counselor, or attending groups
- Put fire escape ladders in your kids, and your room. He will believe they are there for fire safety. Use them to escape if things get violent, or for your kids to escape and alert a neighbor.
- Hide a escape bag, with clothes, money, medicine, pay as you go phone. If he takes your cell phone so that you can not call for help... you will have a spare. Give one to kids as well ? ( are your children old enough to have a phone, if not are they old enough to know how to dial 911)
- Do you have a closet he does not use often ? Put a lock on the inside of that door, and your pay as you go phone inside. You can lock yourself in here, until police arrive. If he doesn't use this closet he wont notice the new lock on the inside.
- Do you live in an apartment ? Ask neighbor on either side if you can come up with a code to knock on walls, if help is ever needed.
- Get a panic button, and give the receiver to a neighbor . You can carry this button, or glue it in a hidden area easy to access ( the inside roof of a drawer) and press this in an emergency.
- Memorize the number to a taxi service (in case he takes your car keys, to prevent you from leaving. - Do you have weapons in your house, that he has access to ? Can you get them out of the house ?
- If you feel abuse is coming is there a safer place in your home, where there are exits, and no weapons
Recognize abuse:
Do you:
feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you're the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for their own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Does your partner:
have a bad and unpredictable temper?
act excessively jealous and possessive?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
control where you go or what you do?
threaten to take your children away or harm them?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
force you to have sex?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
destroy your belongings?
constantly check up on you?
Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power:

Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession. Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless. Isolation – In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services. Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences. Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.






If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you're hesitating—telling yourself that it's none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.




Do's and Don'ts

Do:

Ask if something is wrong. Express concern. Listen and validate. Offer help. Support his or her decisions. Don't:


Wait for him or her to come to you. Judge or blame. Pressure him or her. Give advice. Place conditions on your support.







Info can be found at
http://www.helpguide...ses_effects.htm

People who we as individuals believe need our help, will only accept our help when they truly want it. We can only put it out there, and share our concern. Wether they choose to take that offer of help or not is on them. At least we know we put it out there. As adults we have to make our own choice, and live with the consequences. I worked in a Domestic violence shelter for a year, and we would generally see the same women in the shelter about 5 times before they decided to end the relationship once and for all, if they did at all. I will never understand the psychology in this. When I saw the women leave the shelter and go back to their abusers, i just wanted to grab them and say " what are you doing???" This really would have been pointless, because if they are not listening to their children s cries, and their own families pleas... then why in the world would they listen to me. So all we did as a shelter when these women told us that they were going back to their abusers was to give them the tools and information to try to stay safe while living with an abuser, and to let them know our doors are always open. I think this is the approach that anyone needs to take with anyone in their lives who are being abused. They more you try to push help/ advice / judge the more they will push you away, and will be less likely to come to you, when they decide they finally want the help. Unless you have been in one of these relationships, you can never fully understand the psychology of why a woman goes back to the abuse. Even the women in these situations don't fully understand. There is alot of power and control issues, self esteem issues, crazy making ( when a man actually makes a women believe she is crazy), sometimes financial issues, maybe she feels she deserved it, doesn't want to split up a family, religious reasons, "love", fear of being alone, fear of retaliation, abuser may make her feel guilty (I cant live without you), family pressure,,,ect. We can only guess at the reasons. If we truly care about a person who is being abuse the right thing to do is to let them know we are concerned, and are there to help them,and not to judge them... and to help them find the tools they need. Maybe since we now know this VJ member is staying with the abuser we could help her think of some ideas to help keep herself and kids safe.
-Know where your local shelter is
- talk to them about a safety plan, and talking to a counselor, or attending groups
- Put fire escape ladders in your kids, and your room. He will believe they are there for fire safety. Use them to escape if things get violent, or for your kids to escape and alert a neighbor.
- Hide a escape bag, with clothes, money, medicine, pay as you go phone. If he takes your cell phone so that you can not call for help... you will have a spare. Give one to kids as well ? ( are your children old enough to have a phone, if not are they old enough to know how to dial 911)
- Do you have a closet he does not use often ? Put a lock on the inside of that door, and your pay as you go phone inside. You can lock yourself in here, until police arrive. If he doesn't use this closet he wont notice the new lock on the inside.
- Do you live in an apartment ? Ask neighbor on either side if you can come up with a code to knock on walls, if help is ever needed.
- Get a panic button, and give the receiver to a neighbor . You can carry this button, or glue it in a hidden area easy to access ( the inside roof of a drawer) and press this in an emergency.
- Memorize the number to a taxi service (in case he takes your car keys, to prevent you from leaving. - Do you have weapons in your house, that he has access to ? Can you get them out of the house ?
- If you feel abuse is coming is there a safer place in your home, where there are exits, and no weapons
Recognize abuse:
Do you:
feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you're the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for their own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Does your partner:
have a bad and unpredictable temper?
act excessively jealous and possessive?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
control where you go or what you do?
threaten to take your children away or harm them?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
force you to have sex?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
destroy your belongings?
constantly check up on you?
Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power:

Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession. Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless. Isolation – In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services. Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences. Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.






If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you're hesitating—telling yourself that it's none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.




Do's and Don'ts

Do:

Ask if something is wrong. Express concern. Listen and validate. Offer help. Support his or her decisions. Don't:


Wait for him or her to come to you. Judge or blame. Pressure him or her. Give advice. Place conditions on your support.







Info can be found at
http://www.helpguide...ses_effects.htm

People who we as individuals believe need our help, will only accept our help when they truly want it. We can only put it out there, and share our concern. Wether they choose to take that offer of help or not is on them. At least we know we put it out there. As adults we have to make our own choice, and live with the consequences. I worked in a Domestic violence shelter for a year, and we would generally see the same women in the shelter about 5 times before they decided to end the relationship once and for all, if they did at all. I will never understand the psychology in this. When I saw the women leave the shelter and go back to their abusers, i just wanted to grab them and say " what are you doing???" This really would have been pointless, because if they are not listening to their children s cries, and their own families pleas... then why in the world would they listen to me. So all we did as a shelter when these women told us that they were going back to their abusers was to give them the tools and information to try to stay safe while living with an abuser, and to let them know our doors are always open. I think this is the approach that anyone needs to take with anyone in their lives who are being abused. They more you try to push help/ advice / judge the more they will push you away, and will be less likely to come to you, when they decide they finally want the help. Unless you have been in one of these relationships, you can never fully understand the psychology of why a woman goes back to the abuse. Even the women in these situations don't fully understand. There is alot of power and control issues, self esteem issues, crazy making ( when a man actually makes a women believe she is crazy), sometimes financial issues, maybe she feels she deserved it, doesn't want to split up a family, religious reasons, "love", fear of being alone, fear of retaliation, abuser may make her feel guilty (I cant live without you), family pressure,,,ect. We can only guess at the reasons. If we truly care about a person who is being abuse the right thing to do is to let them know we are concerned, and are there to help them,and not to judge them... and to help them find the tools they need. Maybe since we now know this VJ member is staying with the abuser we could help her think of some ideas to help keep herself and kids safe.
-Know where your local shelter is
- talk to them about a safety plan, and talking to a counselor, or attending groups
- Put fire escape ladders in your kids, and your room. He will believe they are there for fire safety. Use them to escape if things get violent, or for your kids to escape and alert a neighbor.
- Hide a escape bag, with clothes, money, medicine, pay as you go phone. If he takes your cell phone so that you can not call for help... you will have a spare. Give one to kids as well ? ( are your children old enough to have a phone, if not are they old enough to know how to dial 911)
- Do you have a closet he does not use often ? Put a lock on the inside of that door, and your pay as you go phone inside. You can lock yourself in here, until police arrive. If he doesn't use this closet he wont notice the new lock on the inside.
- Do you live in an apartment ? Ask neighbor on either side if you can come up with a code to knock on walls, if help is ever needed.
- Get a panic button, and give the receiver to a neighbor . You can carry this button, or glue it in a hidden area easy to access ( the inside roof of a drawer) and press this in an emergency.
- Memorize the number to a taxi service (in case he takes your car keys, to prevent you from leaving. - Do you have weapons in your house, that he has access to ? Can you get them out of the house ?
- If you feel abuse is coming is there a safer place in your home, where there are exits, and no weapons
Recognize abuse:
Do you:
feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you're the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for their own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Does your partner:
have a bad and unpredictable temper?
act excessively jealous and possessive?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
control where you go or what you do?
threaten to take your children away or harm them?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
force you to have sex?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
destroy your belongings?
constantly check up on you?
Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power:

Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession. Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless. Isolation – In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services. Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences. Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.






If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you're hesitating—telling yourself that it's none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.




Do's and Don'ts

Do:

Ask if something is wrong. Express concern. Listen and validate. Offer help. Support his or her decisions. Don't:


Wait for him or her to come to you. Judge or blame. Pressure him or her. Give advice. Place conditions on your support.







Info can be found at
http://www.helpguide...ses_effects.htm

People who we as individuals believe need our help, will only accept our help when they truly want it. We can only put it out there, and share our concern. Wether they choose to take that offer of help or not is on them. At least we know we put it out there. As adults we have to make our own choice, and live with the consequences. I worked in a Domestic violence shelter for a year, and we would generally see the same women in the shelter about 5 times before they decided to end the relationship once and for all, if they did at all. I will never understand the psychology in this. When I saw the women leave the shelter and go back to their abusers, i just wanted to grab them and say " what are you doing???" This really would have been pointless, because if they are not listening to their children s cries, and their own families pleas... then why in the world would they listen to me. So all we did as a shelter when these women told us that they were going back to their abusers was to give them the tools and information to try to stay safe while living with an abuser, and to let them know our doors are always open. I think this is the approach that anyone needs to take with anyone in their lives who are being abused. They more you try to push help/ advice / judge the more they will push you away, and will be less likely to come to you, when they decide they finally want the help. Unless you have been in one of these relationships, you can never fully understand the psychology of why a woman goes back to the abuse. Even the women in these situations don't fully understand. There is alot of power and control issues, self esteem issues, crazy making ( when a man actually makes a women believe she is crazy), sometimes financial issues, maybe she feels she deserved it, doesn't want to split up a family, religious reasons, "love", fear of being alone, fear of retaliation, abuser may make her feel guilty (I cant live without you), family pressure,,,ect. We can only guess at the reasons. If we truly care about a person who is being abuse the right thing to do is to let them know we are concerned, and are there to help them,and not to judge them... and to help them find the tools they need. Maybe since we now know this VJ member is staying with the abuser we could help her think of some ideas to help keep herself and kids safe.
-Know where your local shelter is
- talk to them about a safety plan, and talking to a counselor, or attending groups
- Put fire escape ladders in your kids, and your room. He will believe they are there for fire safety. Use them to escape if things get violent, or for your kids to escape and alert a neighbor.
- Hide a escape bag, with clothes, money, medicine, pay as you go phone. If he takes your cell phone so that you can not call for help... you will have a spare. Give one to kids as well ? ( are your children old enough to have a phone, if not are they old enough to know how to dial 911)
- Do you have a closet he does not use often ? Put a lock on the inside of that door, and your pay as you go phone inside. You can lock yourself in here, until police arrive. If he doesn't use this closet he wont notice the new lock on the inside.
- Do you live in an apartment ? Ask neighbor on either side if you can come up with a code to knock on walls, if help is ever needed.
- Get a panic button, and give the receiver to a neighbor . You can carry this button, or glue it in a hidden area easy to access ( the inside roof of a drawer) and press this in an emergency.
- Memorize the number to a taxi service (in case he takes your car keys, to prevent you from leaving. - Do you have weapons in your house, that he has access to ? Can you get them out of the house ?
- If you feel abuse is coming is there a safer place in your home, where there are exits, and no weapons
Recognize abuse:
Do you:
feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you're the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for their own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Does your partner:
have a bad and unpredictable temper?
act excessively jealous and possessive?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
control where you go or what you do?
threaten to take your children away or harm them?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
force you to have sex?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
destroy your belongings?
constantly check up on you?
Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power:

Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession. Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless. Isolation – In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services. Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences. Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.






If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you're hesitating—telling yourself that it's none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.




Do's and Don'ts

Do:

Ask if something is wrong. Express concern. Listen and validate. Offer help. Support his or her decisions. Don't:


Wait for him or her to come to you. Judge or blame. Pressure him or her. Give advice. Place conditions on your support.







Info can be found at
http://www.helpguide...ses_effects.htm

People who we as individuals believe need our help, will only accept our help when they truly want it. We can only put it out there, and share our concern. Wether they choose to take that offer of help or not is on them. At least we know we put it out there. As adults we have to make our own choice, and live with the consequences. I worked in a Domestic violence shelter for a year, and we would generally see the same women in the shelter about 5 times before they decided to end the relationship once and for all, if they did at all. I will never understand the psychology in this. When I saw the women leave the shelter and go back to their abusers, i just wanted to grab them and say " what are you doing???" This really would have been pointless, because if they are not listening to their children s cries, and their own families pleas... then why in the world would they listen to me. So all we did as a shelter when these women told us that they were going back to their abusers was to give them the tools and information to try to stay safe while living with an abuser, and to let them know our doors are always open. I think this is the approach that anyone needs to take with anyone in their lives who are being abused. They more you try to push help/ advice / judge the more they will push you away, and will be less likely to come to you, when they decide they finally want the help. Unless you have been in one of these relationships, you can never fully understand the psychology of why a woman goes back to the abuse. Even the women in these situations don't fully understand. There is alot of power and control issues, self esteem issues, crazy making ( when a man actually makes a women believe she is crazy), sometimes financial issues, maybe she feels she deserved it, doesn't want to split up a family, religious reasons, "love", fear of being alone, fear of retaliation, abuser may make her feel guilty (I cant live without you), family pressure,,,ect. We can only guess at the reasons. If we truly care about a person who is being abuse the right thing to do is to let them know we are concerned, and are there to help them,and not to judge them... and to help them find the tools they need. Maybe since we now know this VJ member is staying with the abuser we could help her think of some ideas to help keep herself and kids safe.
-Know where your local shelter is
- talk to them about a safety plan, and talking to a counselor, or attending groups
- Put fire escape ladders in your kids, and your room. He will believe they are there for fire safety. Use them to escape if things get violent, or for your kids to escape and alert a neighbor.
- Hide a escape bag, with clothes, money, medicine, pay as you go phone. If he takes your cell phone so that you can not call for help... you will have a spare. Give one to kids as well ? ( are your children old enough to have a phone, if not are they old enough to know how to dial 911)
- Do you have a closet he does not use often ? Put a lock on the inside of that door, and your pay as you go phone inside. You can lock yourself in here, until police arrive. If he doesn't use this closet he wont notice the new lock on the inside.
- Do you live in an apartment ? Ask neighbor on either side if you can come up with a code to knock on walls, if help is ever needed.
- Get a panic button, and give the receiver to a neighbor . You can carry this button, or glue it in a hidden area easy to access ( the inside roof of a drawer) and press this in an emergency.
- Memorize the number to a taxi service (in case he takes your car keys, to prevent you from leaving. - Do you have weapons in your house, that he has access to ? Can you get them out of the house ?
- If you feel abuse is coming is there a safer place in your home, where there are exits, and no weapons
Recognize abuse:
Do you:
feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you're the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for their own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Does your partner:
have a bad and unpredictable temper?
act excessively jealous and possessive?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
control where you go or what you do?
threaten to take your children away or harm them?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
force you to have sex?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
destroy your belongings?
constantly check up on you?
Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power:

Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession. Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless. Isolation – In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services. Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences. Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.






If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you're hesitating—telling yourself that it's none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.




Do's and Don'ts

Do:

Ask if something is wrong. Express concern. Listen and validate. Offer help. Support his or her decisions. Don't:


Wait for him or her to come to you. Judge or blame. Pressure him or her. Give advice. Place conditions on your support.







Info can be found at
http://www.helpguide...ses_effects.htm

People who we as individuals believe need our help, will only accept our help when they truly want it. We can only put it out there, and share our concern. Wether they choose to take that offer of help or not is on them. At least we know we put it out there. As adults we have to make our own choice, and live with the consequences. I worked in a Domestic violence shelter for a year, and we would generally see the same women in the shelter about 5 times before they decided to end the relationship once and for all, if they did at all. I will never understand the psychology in this. When I saw the women leave the shelter and go back to their abusers, i just wanted to grab them and say " what are you doing???" This really would have been pointless, because if they are not listening to their children s cries, and their own families pleas... then why in the world would they listen to me. So all we did as a shelter when these women told us that they were going back to their abusers was to give them the tools and information to try to stay safe while living with an abuser, and to let them know our doors are always open. I think this is the approach that anyone needs to take with anyone in their lives who are being abused. They more you try to push help/ advice / judge the more they will push you away, and will be less likely to come to you, when they decide they finally want the help. Unless you have been in one of these relationships, you can never fully understand the psychology of why a woman goes back to the abuse. Even the women in these situations don't fully understand. There is alot of power and control issues, self esteem issues, crazy making ( when a man actually makes a women believe she is crazy), sometimes financial issues, maybe she feels she deserved it, doesn't want to split up a family, religious reasons, "love", fear of being alone, fear of retaliation, abuser may make her feel guilty (I cant live without you), family pressure,,,ect. We can only guess at the reasons. If we truly care about a person who is being abuse the right thing to do is to let them know we are concerned, and are there to help them,and not to judge them... and to help them find the tools they need. Maybe since we now know this VJ member is staying with the abuser we could help her think of some ideas to help keep herself and kids safe.
-Know where your local shelter is
- talk to them about a safety plan, and talking to a counselor, or attending groups
- Put fire escape ladders in your kids, and your room. He will believe they are there for fire safety. Use them to escape if things get violent, or for your kids to escape and alert a neighbor.
- Hide a escape bag, with clothes, money, medicine, pay as you go phone. If he takes your cell phone so that you can not call for help... you will have a spare. Give one to kids as well ? ( are your children old enough to have a phone, if not are they old enough to know how to dial 911)
- Do you have a closet he does not use often ? Put a lock on the inside of that door, and your pay as you go phone inside. You can lock yourself in here, until police arrive. If he doesn't use this closet he wont notice the new lock on the inside.
- Do you live in an apartment ? Ask neighbor on either side if you can come up with a code to knock on walls, if help is ever needed.
- Get a panic button, and give the receiver to a neighbor . You can carry this button, or glue it in a hidden area easy to access ( the inside roof of a drawer) and press this in an emergency.
- Memorize the number to a taxi service (in case he takes your car keys, to prevent you from leaving. - Do you have weapons in your house, that he has access to ? Can you get them out of the house ?
- If you feel abuse is coming is there a safer place in your home, where there are exits, and no weapons
Recognize abuse:
Do you:
feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you're the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for their own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Does your partner:
have a bad and unpredictable temper?
act excessively jealous and possessive?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
control where you go or what you do?
threaten to take your children away or harm them?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
force you to have sex?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
destroy your belongings?
constantly check up on you?
Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate you and exert their power:

Dominance – Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his or her possession. Humiliation – An abuser will do everything he or she can to make you feel bad about yourself or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless. Isolation – In order to increase your dependence on him or her, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He or she may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Threats – Abusers commonly use threats to keep their partners from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He or she may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services. Intimidation – Your abuser may use a variety of intimidation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences. Denial and blame – Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abusive partner may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He or she will commonly shift the responsibility on to you: Somehow, his or her violent and abusive behavior is your fault.






If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you're hesitating—telling yourself that it's none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.




Do's and Don'ts

Do:

Ask if something is wrong. Express concern. Listen and validate. Offer help. Support his or her decisions. Don't:


Wait for him or her to come to you. Judge or blame. Pressure him or her. Give advice. Place conditions on your support.







Info can be found at
http://www.helpguide...ses_effects.htm

Oh and just wanted to add that I don't think the dominate man thing ( women must obey) is cultural. Power control issues and abuse is everywhere. Check out the US stats on domestic violence. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, on average, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every day.
An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. Is it cultural for US men?

Oh and just wanted to add that I don't think the dominate man thing ( women must obey) is cultural. Power control issues and abuse is everywhere. Check out the US stats on domestic violence. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, on average, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every day.
An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. Is it cultural for US men?

Here is a link to a good thread, about this topic. http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/362974-looking-for-mena-success-stories/page__pid__5409938__st__360#entry5409938. I think this thread is only a couple moths old. It seems there r alot of happy married ppl on vj MENA. I am happy! I don't know about this cultural thing that some talk about , where MENA men think women must obey. That certainly is not my relationship, and quite honestly dosnt sound like a marriage at all. We have not had too many adjustments culturally, a few misunderstanding all the normal marriage ups and downs. I can't complain, life is good... And he cooks and does dishes bonus!

Oh and just wanted to add that I don't think the dominate man thing ( women must obey) is cultural. Power control issues and abuse is everywhere. Check out the US stats on domestic violence. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, on average, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every day.
An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. Is it cultural for US men?

I'm not Muslim, but I did Ramadan with my husband last year and plan on doing it again this year. There were a couple of days I have to admit that I cheated. There were a few times when my dad made some food that I just couldnt resist, and took a lil nibble. My daughter didn't fast, but she really enjoyed Ramadan, because we did big late dinners, and then walked to my parents house to share leftovers, and stayed up late, and she also really liked after dinners we tried to share a little about our religions, and relate the topic to good life lessons that can be found in every religion. I thought it was alot of fun. It was a challenge not to eat, but so much fin talking about and planning big dinners, cooking together, looking up menus, and making goodies to share. Then that few moments before the sunsets, and we are waiting at the table and we all start to smile cause we know how we are going to just jump into the food and make pigs of ourselves, and then finally its times and the food tastes even better then normal. However I think my stomach must shrink during the day while I am fasting, cause I was never able to eat as much as I thought or wanted too Anyway, its a fun times for us, and I am looking forward to it. I can't guarantee a full fast EVERY day, but I try my best. I hope everyone will enjoy there Ramadan as well.

I'm not Muslim, but I did Ramadan with my husband last year and plan on doing it again this year. There were a couple of days I have to admit that I cheated. There were a few times when my dad made some food that I just couldnt resist, and took a lil nibble. My daughter didn't fast, but she really enjoyed Ramadan, because we did big late dinners, and then walked to my parents house to share leftovers, and stayed up late, and she also really liked after dinners we tried to share a little about our religions, and relate the topic to good life lessons that can be found in every religion. I thought it was alot of fun. It was a challenge not to eat, but so much fin talking about and planning big dinners, cooking together, looking up menus, and making goodies to share. Then that few moments before the sunsets, and we are waiting at the table and we all start to smile cause we know how we are going to just jump into the food and make pigs of ourselves, and then finally its times and the food tastes even better then normal. However I think my stomach must shrink during the day while I am fasting, cause I was never able to eat as much as I thought or wanted too Anyway, its a fun times for us, and I am looking forward to it. I can't guarantee a full fast EVERY day, but I try my best. I hope everyone will enjoy there Ramadan as well.

Has it been a year already, Danni? Seems like just yesterday I was looking at your wedding pics. I'm happy to read that everything is going well for you two.

After having her occupation, education and husband torn apart by the VJ pack???
I can't think why for one minute ffs

What is wrong with everybody?
If you don't wanna help a brother out the least you could do is not point at him and laugh.
Geez.

Well, I am gonna give hm a little break on the language. Cause English is not his first language, and I am in a place where I am trying to learn another language, and its very frustrating for me. So I can understand, how he could easily make a few spelling mistakes, and grammatical errors. However if he is truly looking for help we need to have an explanation for the discrepancy's in his facts. Because the more i hear about his case, the more concerned I am for his wife. Also if he lied to the CO about any facts, doesn't that put him in a place where he could face a ban from the US?
to the OP:
What are your true ages, and what ages did you tell the CO ?
Does your wife have a bank account ?
Is it your Brother-in-law or sister-in-law who is the sponsor?
Have you lied to the CO or on any immigration forms ?
Also, if you are accepting money from your wife, you should stop this. You should consider paying her back as well. I can tell you she has to be struggling financially. Maybe your don't understand the economy in the USA, but $9 and hour is almost impossible to live off of. Also another thing to consider is the opinion that her friends and family will form about you, for accepting money from her. If you were accepting money from a female you intended to marry in Morocco, what would her family/ your family think about you ? Would this be an acceptable thing in Morocco?I think you know the answer, and this is why all of us here are doubting your motives as well.

Well, I am gonna give hm a little break on the language. Cause English is not his first language, and I am in a place where I am trying to learn another language, and its very frustrating for me. So I can understand, how he could easily make a few spelling mistakes, and grammatical errors. However if he is truly looking for help we need to have an explanation for the discrepancy's in his facts. Because the more i hear about his case, the more concerned I am for his wife. Also if he lied to the CO about any facts, doesn't that put him in a place where he could face a ban from the US?
to the OP:
What are your true ages, and what ages did you tell the CO ?
Does your wife have a bank account ?
Is it your Brother-in-law or sister-in-law who is the sponsor?
Have you lied to the CO or on any immigration forms ?
Also, if you are accepting money from your wife, you should stop this. You should consider paying her back as well. I can tell you she has to be struggling financially. Maybe your don't understand the economy in the USA, but $9 and hour is almost impossible to live off of. Also another thing to consider is the opinion that her friends and family will form about you, for accepting money from her. If you were accepting money from a female you intended to marry in Morocco, what would her family/ your family think about you ? Would this be an acceptable thing in Morocco?I think you know the answer, and this is why all of us here are doubting your motives as well.

I am really glad to hear all these happy stories, of normal families, living normal lives here on VJ. It really is too often that we see the doom and gloom side of how things can go in a failed VJ. I am wishing the best for everyone, and many long lovely years with their loved ones. I have been checking this thread a lot, cause it really brings a smile to my heart to see all of you happy in life. I don't post too often, but I do come to read a good bit (I work a LONG SLOW night shift...too much time on my hands)So it's nice to read and participate in a upbeat thread.

Well, I am gonna give hm a little break on the language. Cause English is not his first language, and I am in a place where I am trying to learn another language, and its very frustrating for me. So I can understand, how he could easily make a few spelling mistakes, and grammatical errors. However if he is truly looking for help we need to have an explanation for the discrepancy's in his facts. Because the more i hear about his case, the more concerned I am for his wife. Also if he lied to the CO about any facts, doesn't that put him in a place where he could face a ban from the US?
to the OP:
What are your true ages, and what ages did you tell the CO ?
Does your wife have a bank account ?
Is it your Brother-in-law or sister-in-law who is the sponsor?
Have you lied to the CO or on any immigration forms ?
Also, if you are accepting money from your wife, you should stop this. You should consider paying her back as well. I can tell you she has to be struggling financially. Maybe your don't understand the economy in the USA, but $9 and hour is almost impossible to live off of. Also another thing to consider is the opinion that her friends and family will form about you, for accepting money from her. If you were accepting money from a female you intended to marry in Morocco, what would her family/ your family think about you ? Would this be an acceptable thing in Morocco?I think you know the answer, and this is why all of us here are doubting your motives as well.

My husband and I have been married for one year. The relationship part of our marriage is pretty much as I expected. The only thing that is a little different from what I expected, is how we communicate our feelings. Being as we had almost entirely an internet relationship while dating, we did alot of talking about our feelings. Now that he is here we don't do that as often, and I have to admit that I miss it a bit. I ask Hamza often, tell me how your feeling ? We used to talk for hours about an endless love He does tell me he loves me often, he is just not quite as romantic as he was via the net. He says this is because he is here now, and he can show me he loves me in his actions, and doesn't feel like its necessary to talk about it all day. He does show me he loves me in his actions. He Cooks dinner most nights, and if we are all home he does lunch too, he cleans the house, does the dishes, if I am working, or if he notices something needs taken care of he does it. He does the laundry, when I'm slacking. He takes care of my daughter when I'm at work, or sleeping during the day (cause I work night shift) He loves my daughter, and really treats her like she is his. That is the most important thing.He loves my family, and really fits right in with everyone. He is always making me special goodies, cakes, flan, other pastry experiments. He values my opinion, and asks me advice. So I guess maybe its a women's thing to find it necessary to talk about feelings, or maybe I just became accustomed to it because it was our only form of communication for a long time. However this is the only things that is lacking from our relationship.... and truthfully it is not a big deal, and I only ever bring it up with him, when I am PMSing
Other things that I wasn't expecting, outside of our relationship is the length of time it took him to find a job. It was almost the entire year before he could find a job. Part of this is because of transportation. I live in a small town, where job opportunities are non existent. He can not drive yet either, so he really couldn't look to far out of town, otherwise no one would be able to drive him to and from. Finally he found a job where he is able to walk to. Another thing is that he still does not have his drivers license. He doesn't really mind not driving, until special occasions come along, where he would like to drive to the stores (all 15 min drives or more away) to buy me or my daughter something special , and he is unable to. However he is always able to find a way to get something, or do something special anyway. These are things neither of us expected, and he did get a little frustrated about not finding a job quickly, but he kept himself busy renovating our house, and volunteering at the YMCA, going to school at the community college.... and golfing with my dad.
We have different religions, and I was a little worried if this was going to cause problems once he got to America... but it hasn't at all. Occasionally we have a disagreement about something, and usually its over a misunderstanding. Most things in religion we agree about.We are still working out the kinks, in how we will raise any children we will have religiosity wise. We are going to have a planned pregnancy, once we feels its the right time, and we can come to a complete plan/compromise on the religion issue. We do have an idea of how we are going to do this, just haven't talked about the details in a while, as we r not planning on a child right now.
Hamza has adjusted to life in America, really without any kind of culture shock, home sickness, or any other problems. He talks to his family daily, on skype... this has helped a lot. We are making plans to visit this fall, and that's something we are both looking forward too. He is family guy, and would rather spend time with me, my daughter, and my family then go out with friends, so meeting other guys to hang out with hasn't been an issue. However I do hope he finds some guys he can spend time with , when he wants to. The closest Mosque is about 1 1/2 hours away, so he rarely gets the chance to go. He does hang out with me and my friends and their husbands, and gets along with them very well.
Overall life is what I expected, hoped, and prayed for. I thank god everyday, for all the blessings that came into my life, when I met Hamza.

My husband and I have been married for one year. The relationship part of our marriage is pretty much as I expected. The only thing that is a little different from what I expected, is how we communicate our feelings. Being as we had almost entirely an internet relationship while dating, we did alot of talking about our feelings. Now that he is here we don't do that as often, and I have to admit that I miss it a bit. I ask Hamza often, tell me how your feeling ? We used to talk for hours about an endless love He does tell me he loves me often, he is just not quite as romantic as he was via the net. He says this is because he is here now, and he can show me he loves me in his actions, and doesn't feel like its necessary to talk about it all day. He does show me he loves me in his actions. He Cooks dinner most nights, and if we are all home he does lunch too, he cleans the house, does the dishes, if I am working, or if he notices something needs taken care of he does it. He does the laundry, when I'm slacking. He takes care of my daughter when I'm at work, or sleeping during the day (cause I work night shift) He loves my daughter, and really treats her like she is his. That is the most important thing.He loves my family, and really fits right in with everyone. He is always making me special goodies, cakes, flan, other pastry experiments. He values my opinion, and asks me advice. So I guess maybe its a women's thing to find it necessary to talk about feelings, or maybe I just became accustomed to it because it was our only form of communication for a long time. However this is the only things that is lacking from our relationship.... and truthfully it is not a big deal, and I only ever bring it up with him, when I am PMSing
Other things that I wasn't expecting, outside of our relationship is the length of time it took him to find a job. It was almost the entire year before he could find a job. Part of this is because of transportation. I live in a small town, where job opportunities are non existent. He can not drive yet either, so he really couldn't look to far out of town, otherwise no one would be able to drive him to and from. Finally he found a job where he is able to walk to. Another thing is that he still does not have his drivers license. He doesn't really mind not driving, until special occasions come along, where he would like to drive to the stores (all 15 min drives or more away) to buy me or my daughter something special , and he is unable to. However he is always able to find a way to get something, or do something special anyway. These are things neither of us expected, and he did get a little frustrated about not finding a job quickly, but he kept himself busy renovating our house, and volunteering at the YMCA, going to school at the community college.... and golfing with my dad.
We have different religions, and I was a little worried if this was going to cause problems once he got to America... but it hasn't at all. Occasionally we have a disagreement about something, and usually its over a misunderstanding. Most things in religion we agree about.We are still working out the kinks, in how we will raise any children we will have religiosity wise. We are going to have a planned pregnancy, once we feels its the right time, and we can come to a complete plan/compromise on the religion issue. We do have an idea of how we are going to do this, just haven't talked about the details in a while, as we r not planning on a child right now.
Hamza has adjusted to life in America, really without any kind of culture shock, home sickness, or any other problems. He talks to his family daily, on skype... this has helped a lot. We are making plans to visit this fall, and that's something we are both looking forward too. He is family guy, and would rather spend time with me, my daughter, and my family then go out with friends, so meeting other guys to hang out with hasn't been an issue. However I do hope he finds some guys he can spend time with , when he wants to. The closest Mosque is about 1 1/2 hours away, so he rarely gets the chance to go. He does hang out with me and my friends and their husbands, and gets along with them very well.
Overall life is what I expected, hoped, and prayed for. I thank god everyday, for all the blessings that came into my life, when I met Hamza.