Lohninck

Well. That was just plain insulting. And also totally uncalled for. I don't know anything about your relationship, and you know nothing about me. I would argue that 99% of people here are doing what they are doing because they fell in love, and because they primarily want to share their lives with that person. I'm sure there are exceptions - I, however, am not one of them, and would appreciate it if you refrained from remarks like that from now on. My country offers free health care, free education, 9 months paid maternity leave - I am here, paying $25,000 per year for grad school, $2,000 for green card, half the world away from my family and friends at home. I can very easily and honestly say that I am not here for the American dream. I don't need that. What I need is share my life with the person I love. That is what it really is for me. I'm sorry if it's not that for you.

Are you saying you came here and married your spouse just for the GC? That is just wonderful. Even if you did that, you have no right suspecting anyone elses motives. US would not be my first choice at all, if I weren't married to a USC. Do I like it here? Sure. NEw York is wonderful. But if it wasn't for my marriage, I wouldn't have any real reason to stay here. If we got divorced, I doubt I'd stay. I didn't marry America. I married a person. He is why I am here - not because of this country.

Since you've not filed AOS yet - you've not sent in the I-864, right ?
Some suggestions.
1. Call ICE (# below), tell them that he's left, and you are filing for divorce, with no intention of further sponsership. This will start a national casefile, but it's tedious to 'get things into it'.
2. Get an INFOPASS appointment for your local USCIS office, and let them know you are filing for divorce, and tell them the circumstances of why you are not filing the AOS package with him. This will start a local case file. While yer there - ask to speak to the Head of Section for BOTH 'Fraud Prevention' and 'ICE' and make sure that casefiles are started in both sections. At some point, these two casefiles will rbe married up together, and sent off to the National Office
3. SEND A POSTAL LETTER to the USCIS office closest to where he is living, explain all, ask that a casefile be started in the local ICE unit and local Fraud Prevention Unit.
4. SEND A POSTAL LETTER to the Embassy IV Unit where he interviewed, explain all, let them know that he came in on a K-1 visa with fraudulent intent.
None of this stuff is automatic or in real time. It takes time, energy, and patience (on your part) to get the ball rolling. Once the ball is rolling, it will roll hard when next he is found (traffic stop, drunk and disorderly charge, etc). The 'national pick up order' will be issued to all local law enforcement, but he won't just be casually picked up, he'll have to be stopped on something else first. At some point, the locals will turn him over to ICE, and then they'll actually do something with him, based on the contents of the casefiles that you got started.
Just to be clear - YOU can't get him deported, only ICE and DHS can do that - the most you can do is make sure that the casefiles (plural) are full of evidence of his fraud. Practice writing letters of attestation, you'll need these for the casefiles.
Good Luck !

First of all: my deepest condolences.
Second of all: What. An. Idiot. [Him, not you!]
As a con man, he's totally incompetent. You are, of course, correct. Without AOSing, his stay will expire in 90 days, and then he's out of status.
You should be aware that if he has a copy of your marriage certificate, and can fake your signature on an I-864, he can try to file for AOS on his own, assuming he even knows he needs to do this. [Was it you or him who did most of the paperwork? If you did it all, he may not be familiar with the process enough to even know he's bailed before he locked in his status.] You can [and should!] head this off at the pass by calling USCIS, talking to a second level service officer, and informing them of the situation and that under absolutely no circumstances is an I-864 signed by you legitimate. That will prevent him from even trying to AOS.
As for the other stuff, USCIS is unlikely to sic ICE on him just for taking off. They unfortunately don't have the manpower to do that sort of active investigation, so that won't work. But it sounds from what you say that he leads a lifestyle that will bring him to the attention of the Florida police in fairly short order, and if you inform them of his licenselessness, tendency towards DUI, and immigration status, they may hand him over to ICE for you, when he inevitably has an unfavorable interaction with them.
That's pretty much all you can do, directly. But I recommend that you don't do anything overtly against him. Certainly call USCIS to protect yourself from a forged I-864 by all means, but for the other stuff...
Harboring unforgiveness and anger against someone will ultimately do far more harm to your body and soul than the pain he's already caused you. I urge you, in the strongest possible terms, to try very hard to understand him as just another sad, twisted, broken, fallen human [just as we all are] and to find a way to forgive him who trespasses against you, just as we are forgiven our trespasses.

Not from Russia or the Philippines; not a mail order bride? What? Now that is down right OFFENSIVE if you ask me. Do you hold your pinky up when you drink tea?
That comment will turn a lot of people off, especially ones who might be interested in giving you advice.

Where your from or what kind of bride you are doesnt determine how long it will take just an FYI..... Good luck on your journey and welcome to VJ!!!

Fixed

Hi I am his ex finacee. I am not going to write whether i'm right or wrong but yes i will just put down how behaved with me post NOA2.
The night we received the NOA2, we both were jumping and expressing our happiness, I went running to my parents to tell them 'we have done it at last.'They were happy too.
2nd day i was little upset for something that happened in my family and i was not being able to show how happy i am,but later i kept telling him 'i am happy but somehow its sad out here' I am leaving now,this feeling is making me sad but i am happy i will finally live with u. 3rd day,he called me from office and i spoke in normal tone,not happy not sad,i dont know what went wrong he screamed from the parking lot 'im tired of your ###### sadness,your ###### sadness' and also some slang he used on me in my mother tongue,this was my first shock.I don't know this man,never lived with him, so of course i kept telling him i am scared of u, he said he is sorry, i said ill be really scared if u scream like this when we fight in person (trust me it was not normal scream,he was at the top of his lung in a public place and over the phone with me, and the reason being I AM NOT SHOWING HIM EXCITEMENT) well, i was happy but tensed for 'n' number of reason which the petitioners here won't understand much but the beneficiaries who r leaving for good might.He told me if he ever gets angry and wants to shout in person he would leave the house and go out.I mean its not too normal for Indians here.
Later we made up and again he started with same topic i am not showing him excitement, i felt getting mentally tortured when he was doing this, i was going to office, he knew it i am going to office and i am howling requesting him to hang up,but he won't his only statement was 'don't go to office, its not a good day for u to go to office',he doesn't need to show me concern after he had made me cry already,he need not do it at all.I might not have reacted how HE WANTED me to react,but he can't deny,everyday i told him i was happy that we got NOA2. I just couldn't explain it to him till end,when i asked my mom to tell him that i was happy.My mom made him understand that 'she is happy but may be she is little scared to leave for good now,she will be actually happy when she will meet u and start her life for good'. He then understood.We patched up.
Next after this we had several small fights,but the worst was the valentines day.
I DID SEND HIM GIFT BUT IT DID NOT GET DELIVERED,I KNEW HE WONT BELIEVE ME SO I GAVE HIM THE FLORIST PHONE NUMBER WHICH WAS A USA NUMBER,THEY CONFIRMED I DID SEND HIM THE GIFT BUT THEY WROTE THE ADDRESS WRONG. SO IT WAS NOT MY FAULT. (I HAVE STILL NOT GOT REFUND,WHICH I DON'T CARE ANYWAY, I DON'T CRY OVER MONEY). I CALLED THEM TO ASK WHY THEY DID NOT DELIVER, THEY APOLOGIZED BUT NEVER DELIVERED THE GIFT, I WAS TOO SAD FOR THAT,I TOLD MY EX I AM SO SORRY AND I AM REALLY SAD IT WAS NOT DELIVERED.HE WAS OK THAT DAY, NEXT MORNING I WAS SLEEPING HE WOKE ME UP WITH A VERY RUDE VOICE,HE TOLD ME I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING FOR HIM THIS TIME AS HE DID SEND ME GIFTS AND I TRIED BUT FAILED.HE THREATENED ME IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING FOR HIM HE'S GOING TO HOLD THIS VISA PROCESS, I WAS LIKE 'WHAT ARE U SAYING? THIS MIGHT BREAK OUR RELATION??' HE TOLD ME 'YEA I KNOW,GO TELL YOUR DAD YOU ARE NOT COMING TO USA NEXT FEW MONTHS(WHEREAS MY PARENTS ALREADY APPLIED FOR THEIR TOURIST VISA WHICH THEY WOULD HAVE USED TO DROP ME TO MY EX IN USA,AND NOW THEY HAVE THE CONFIRMATION TOO) AS YOUR FIANCEE IS HOLDING THE PROCESS'. I WAS SHOCKED,I ASKED 'WHAT U WANT ME TO DO'? HE SAID GO TO THE INTERNET AND DO SOMETHING.SO I WENT TO THE INTERNET AND SEND HIM E-CARD AND EMAIL AND SEND HIM SOME PICS OF ME AND MY FAMILY.I DID NOT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO TO MAKE HIM HAPPY.I WAS TERRIFIED AS HE GAVE ME ONE WEEK TIME TO PROVE MY LOVE.
HE REPLIED IN HIS E-MAIL:
I don't know what you've done over the internet for me except for the e-card you sent. You would have sent pics of your bro's engagement anyway regardless of Valentine's Day. I don't know if you're counting that or not but I cannot count that as a Valentine's gift for me. So if you think you cannot do something to make up for it, this problem will remain unfixed and I cannot proceed further with our visa. And I really have heard a lot of apologies. All I want now is action. I cannot settle for nearly nothing again this year while I gave everything. That is not fair to me. I am deserving a Valentine's gift this year, and I cannot let this go by. So I hope you know what to do before the week is out.
I DON'T NEED TO PROVE MY LOVE I THINK.I DID WHAT I COULD.I MAY NOT BE RIGHT,BUT YES HE DESERVES A GIRL WHO CAN LIVE UP TO HIS EXPECTATIONS.HE KNOWS HOW MUCH I HAVE PRAYED FOR US.AND NOW I FEEL I HAD BEEN A FOOL.I DON'T EXPECT HIS PARENTS TO UNDERSTAND ME AND NOT CALL ME 'HEARTLESS AND CRUEL' BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE A DAUGHTER.
I DON'T WANT THIS THREAD TO CONTINUE,I DON'T KNOW WHY HE STARTED THIS THREAD,MAY BE TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD,BUT IF THAT MAKES HIM HAPPY.ITS FINE. I KNOW WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE AFTER ALL THIS.

This appears to be a case to where the length of K1 process has benefited your relationship as apparently your true colors came shining through. As I see it, her father did what a father should have done. His daughter was about to embark on a journey on the other side of the world with what was thought to be with a man of courage, understanding and compassion for his daughter. What he found was a whining individual who thought it was more important he receive a valentines (???) than understand the heart felt, gut wrenching feelings, of parents and daughter who were about to be separated.
Suspect this type of immature “me, me, me” behavior showed up elsewhere during the K1 wait, tearing at the threads of the relationship and the ultimate decision to leave family and country to immigrate.
This thread will probably be shut down, as I would expect others have little tolerance in holding back on giving straightforward observations and advice. For those who have suggested you “ignore the members who tell you to man up” sorry to say, in my opinion, they are misleading you in an attempt to comfort you. I would respectfully suggest you let it go and move on and don’t attempt to make further contact with her or her family. It appears, you are clearly not the only one in this relationship that has been hurt by shattered dreams.

I agree completely with those who say you are out of order. As the USC, you should know this is a free country, not to mention being the 21st century. She owes you nothing; least of all for "all" the money you spent on her visa. WTH! If you loved her, you would have been equally willing to give up your life in the US and move to India, right?
Honestly, I'm glad she was able to see your true colors and break free of a chauvanist before she put on mehendi and a wedding necklace, to say nothing of moving halfway around the world to a place where she would have been completely cut off from her support network of family and friends. You have a lot to learn about women, mate, starting with respect. A fiancee is your future wife and is deserving of your respect, esteem, and love. Yet, you throw a hissy fit and accuse her of not loving you *enough* because a florist goofed and you didn't get a present on a commercial holiday. She is the one who will give up everything to be with you; all you've shown a willingness to "sacrifice" is a few hundred dollars.
So, yes, you are out of line. I wish you much luck in your maturation process. Hopefully you will learn the right lessons from this experience - including how to respect the woman who will be your eventual partner in life.

It's time for you to move on. Just a little advice: If your future love does not give you something for Valentines Day, don't mention it to her. She said she sent something, and you even confirmed it with the florist, yet you still made her feel guilty for not receiving anything. Threatening her with the visa was really, really low, very stupid, and likely the nail in the coffin for your relationship. You want to know how something could go wrong so fast? I think she saw you as an immature, manipulative little boy and decided to move on with her life. Also, holding her to expectations of how she should act after receiving NOA2 is really unfair. People react differently to these types of things and you need to accept that. Ultimately the two of you were not right for each other and need to move on with your lives. It's sad and unfortunate that things had to end the way they did, but it also sounds like you need to take some time and mature a little bit before making plans to spend your life with someone.

I respect the fact that you poured your heart out here, you're hurt, I get that. But like the above poster writes; you did not understand why she went into the hosp. and then you did the same.
I'm not pregnant and do not have raging hormones - and I think your response is way off base.
Good luck.

From your posting it sounds like you are stuck in your own egocentric world. She got you a Valentine's present and it got lost, so what? She did try, what else do you want from her. And then you go off and have a hissy fit about her not caring about you when she did send something.
All you did was call to see how she was doing in the hospital. It seems like her family was trying to see how far you would go for her (you did say you would do anything for her) but you didn't try to visit. You don't know if the message from you ever got past her parents, she may think that you didn't care about her while she was sick.
How is it that when she is sick she gets one phone call from you but when you are sick it is a total meltdown....?

I don't know if it's the fact that I'm pregnant and have raging hormones or what but you seem to be a jerk to me. You tell her you want to hold off on the visa cause she didn't say Happy Valentines day to you. She sent you a gift it was the florist fault you did not receive it. To me that's a threat, telling her you do as I want or else I will hold this visa over your head. That is probably how her parent's see it also, the threats are already starting in their eyes and like any parent they want to protect their daughter.
Then you find out she is in the hospital, and you question her father how can some little argument do that to her, but then you end up in the hospital over all this and get mad at her cause she is not jumping at your side calling none stop etc. Seems to me you are just as immature as she is.
Moving and leaving everything you know and love is not easy for anyone, no matter the age. Some ppl do have very close family and family is a big part of their lives, some ppl can not handle it other's manage to make it through but it is not done over night.
Again this is how I see it from your post.

man up princess

The truth hurts. So blocking is the best way for some people. And yes, I laugh. Just like I am laughing now. If you think I am angry, I am sorry to dissappoint you, I am far from it. w00t w00t. Sometimes some people just need an ego check. Checked.

I started going to the gym to get in shape for my love And also, I do some volunteering...I just try to keep busy as much as I can, go out, have fun with my friends and enjoy some time with my family It's a tough process, but at the end of the day, you're one day closer to being with the person you love

I check it daily. For some reason, I am not upset with VSC like most of you are. They are doing the best they can to do their work. I am pretty sure they are not sitting down playing solitaire... They are human, just like us.
Positive attitude is the trick to happiness. If you don't have it, find it.

Ever go to the grocery store and wonder why some lines are moving so much faster than others? You see the fat lady reading the Soap Opera Digest - she got in line the same time you did, and you've barely taken two steps by the time she's checked out and leaving the store. Sometimes it's because everybody in the slow line has a filled their basket to overflowing, and the people in the fast line only have a few items, but you're smart - you check out everyone's basket before you pick a line to stand in. More often, it's because the cashier in the slow line is just really slow. Sometimes it's a combination of the two - half a dozen vegetarians get in the line with the cashier who has to look up the cash register code for every single vegetable.
Processing petitions is sort of the same. Some adjudicators pull a box of petitions off the shelf and fly through them pretty quickly, sorting out the ones that should be denied straight away, setting aside the ones that need RFE's or further investigation, and approving the rest. Other adjudicators move a lot slower.
Charleton Heston would have said "USCIS IS PEOPLE!". Or maybe he would have said "IT'S A MADHOUSE!". I'm not sure which.
Call 'em. Email 'em. Other than that, try to focus on something else. Unless you're standing behind the adjudicator who has your petition you'll probably never know what the hangup was, so there's not much point in worrying about it.

Sweet Ali. Non of this is your fault. All you did was send a package, you said you expected to have to wait 'till summer to hear anything, but you got a great news: You were approved in 16 days! You didn't look for it or ask for USCIS to take so long with other people's NOA2's.
Don't be ashamed to be happy, don't be ashamed to feel Joy!! I, as a January Filer, am so happy for you. I hope you guys have a long life together, with lots and lots of caring and tender moments.
Lot's of love for you!!
And again, don't feel bad.
*hug*
Diana!

Excuse me? I am plenty happy for all the people who have been patiently waiting in line to be approved and I'm happy these people got approved as well along with everyone else here. I'm rightfully upset there is broken system that seems to be like a visa lottery rather than an actual system based on fairness. Have you ever been to China? My fiance is visiting her parents for Chinese New Year and sleeping in a shack with no heat, no bathroom, no kitchen, no shower and sleeping in a bed with her mother and adult sister while her father sleeps on the floor. People in China are every bit as bad off as the Haitians, and on top of that she's stated he doesn't even live there he lives in the Dominican Republic. I don't need some otaku calling my character into question that has never even met me. I feel everyone should wait their turn and visas filed in order and I think that speaks higher of my character than those like you who publicly claim they have no objection to someone being processed 5 months before them for no good reason. Piss off.

Your comment is uncalled for and insensitive. He *did* congratulate this lucky couple and then express his justified frustration honestly. And for that you publicly question his character? This type of community will best serve the members if we try to be compassionate and comfort those who are feeling frustrated, not by knocking them down at a time when we all are already vulnerable.

You can have a fabulous wedding for $3500! See http://www.greenweddingshoes.com for some amazing crafty ideas for weddings or I googled weddings on a budget and this came up... http://bridesknowbest.com/2010/01/15/a-3500-wedding-created-with-a-little-help-from-their-friends/
Another option is just the civil ceremony followed by the big celebration later. This is what myself and my fiance will be doing.
IMHO it is ridiculous spending thousands and thousands of dollars on one single day - I've been to many weddings and I don't remember much of what goes on, but I always remember how in love the couple looked! In our case anyway, we feel that the money would be better spent on our first home or long extended honeymoon
Hope everything works out for you both and good luck!

Marriage is a right? Glad to hear that. Try to marry your first cousin, or your same sex partner, or your 14 year old girl friend, or add a second wife. Let me know how it goes.

By the time the Vermont Disservice Center issues my NOA2, we can have it on board the Starship Enterprise and have the ceremony officiated by Captain Picard.