Melinda&Necmi

I just mailed ours today:) Two months later than I had hoped, but better late than never!!

And how do I add a time ticker to my signature??

Merhaba! I haven't been here for a long time, but I wanted to share the good news. My husband has landed a fantastic job! We moved to the Bay Area over a year ago and unfortunately, he could not find work. He probably applied for over 200 jobs, had a ton of interviews, but because there were so many senior IT people out of work, it was impossible to find a job. We didn't waste time and he enrolled at a local college to take more IT classes, and did an internship with Cisco. Then last week, he got not 1 but 2 job offers! He took the better paying job with full benefits, at an international company, and will start on the 19th! Yay!

We've been in the US for a while, but it feels like this is a 'second beginning' for us. He was starting to talk about going back to Turkey for a while, even just to work for a few months, so he could help take care of things. We're both so incredibly thankful that didn't have to happen!

Anyway.... we got the news yesterday morning on the job offer and it was also our 2nd anniversary! Kismet.

Hope you're all well!

That's great news!! I'm so glad to hear it:)

Sitting at JFK right now. . . Waiting. Plane is delayed until 5:00. We have waited so long that a few more hours won't hurt but wish I had brought a book

I just can't believe he will actually be here in a few hours.

Congrats Jenn and Fuat!! I am living vicariously though you right now:) Have a great time!!

Ooohhh you and Mindi can meet up in Istanbul as she will be there soon! How cool. I am so happy for you guys....CONGRATS again!

Congrats Jenn!! I am so happy for the two of you:)

Erika, i am in Bursa for this trip. We didnt stay in Istanbul long. It is so nice to smell the flowers again. This is a nice break from the Michgian snow. I have missed Necmi so much. It is nice to spend time with him!!

Talk to ya soon:)

$10 a page?!? Wow, there must be gold leaf on that paper Thanks for the congrats & glad to hear all went well for you too. Gotta love it when they don't show up...makes everything that much easier. I found a temp position that'll last me from March until mid-May. Have you ever heard of the HEDIS project? Basically just doing chart reviews..no patient care or anything, but pays like a nurse's salary, so I'll take it! I'm applying like crazy for patient care jobs too, so hopefully something will materialize between now and June!

Tanya

I haven't heard of HEDIS. I'm going to google it:)

I'm not sure what the paper is made from, but I do know that I will be soo not happy if it gets lost in the mail when I mail it to Turkey:) I wish I had the copy before I left on the 23rd but they cant have it ready by then:(

I hope you can find a long term position soon:)

Mindi

Thanks Melinda...I took the NCLEX on Tuesday, Feb 9th (the testing center shut down on Monday the 8th due to the snow in our area) and I learned on Thursday that I passed! So I'm an RN now, yay!! Hopefully all went well for you on Monday also!

Tanya

Congrats!! I am so happy for you! Have you had any luck finding a position? It went very smooth Monday:) He didn't show up. I have to go to the court house to get a certified copy. I was happy to hear it will cost only $140:) $10 each page!!

I am so happy for you! I know the relief when you see that you have passed:)

Mindi

Good luck tomorrow Tayna!! I know you will do well!!

Couple of thoughts..

Last night I went to a meeting at our local Turkish-American Cultural Association. We have been given a grant by ATAA to encourage Turkish-Americans to become more active in grassroots politics. A very good point was brought up by a member. When it is time for the census, there is a section related to ethnicity or national origin….He said to mark other and write in Turkish. This will send a message to our congressmen that there is a growing number of Turks here and they will be a little more receptive to issues close to the heart of many Turks.

Also, I am in a Turkish class plugging along as the sole student without a Turkish partner at home to help me. Necmi tries really hard to help, but I want our time together spent talking about other stuff Is there anyone who would be willing to talk to me on MSN once in awhile to help me with this?

Sagol:)

Deb, I am so glad you posted this - in fact, I feel there should be a whole thread on VJ dedicated to this topic. It's a huge dilemma. It would be helpful to hear from others about what works for them, what doesn't in terms of meshing the family.

So many on VJ do talk about the positive and joyous aspects of getting their foriegn loved ones here and adjusted to life in the US but never say a word on the sour side. I know a few divorces (discussed off board). This needs to be openly addressed.

We are dealing with spouses who speak a foriegn language first, add to fact of vastly different cultures, religious beliefs and then American kids. And surely, you can add to the issues if your spouse or kids or both have had little to no close exposure to different ethnic groups, cultures, foreigners or international travel. But sometimes that does not matter.

Some back ground: My entire family including extended family is a mix of ethnicities, races and cultures and my husband, is educated, worldly in that he has travelled to several different countries and speaks five languages. He even lived in South Africa for one year. As much as I tried to make our relationship and marriage a smooth transition for my teenage kids, it has been any thing but. Now, most kids struggle with a parent's new marriage. Throw a foriegner from a muslim country in the mix. I, too, have struggled with my teen/young adult daughters and my husband's relationship. That all said, my husband has been a super trooper!!!

It has not created any wedge in our marriage, in fact, we anticipated these issues and he has been so understanding and tolerant. We love each other tremendously and continue to brainstorm ideas to work through this. Believe me, it is not easy as I have one very mouthy, tell it like it is, no holding back, beautiful and smart 19 year old teenage daughter who really hates her mother right now. (God love her so that she may find a way to channel all of that in a more appropriate, productive and useful way.)

So if anyone here ever needs to talk about dynamics of blended families I think Deb and I would be great resources for that. Feel free to send me a PM any time.

Debbie and awaterlily, thank you so very much for sharing this. I can't imagine how hard it is going to be for all of us. With the enviornment that my kids have grown up in (NO respect for their abusive dad) I don't see them giving Necmi any respect right away. I have told him to be prepared for the "Your not my dad..you can't tell me what to do..." We are just now learning how to behave becuase it is the right thing to do..not because Dad will be mad. I have told him my two oldest are sexually acitve. He is trying to get use to the idea. He asked if this is normal for America..I gave him the latest stats on virgins graduating form HS. He was speechless. I have told him my kids are naughty naughty naughty. He thinks my 9 year old is cute in her naughtyness:) Ohhh, when that misconception is found out:) My husband is of nooo help here. He calls Necmi racial slurs in front of the kids:( I am comforted by the fact that I am not the first to go through this and that all of you are here to act as a sounding board and for adivce. Sagol!!

Pray..Pray...Pray for us!! Luften!!

Wow well I'd be excited if I were going to Turkey next month too! I miss it even though my hubby isn't living there anymore....

I don't mean to be discouraging....it's really not that bad but we have our moments. And who knows, maybe Necmi and your kids will be a perfect fit... He sounds like a very understanding person. I too worried about whether or not Ozzy could be happy here where I live in a small suburban town and him coming from huge İstanbul. I wondered if I was doing the right thing, etc., for myself and for him. I know now that I did but you're right, it is such a short time that they give you to 'be sure'. 90 days is nowhere near enough. I think its something you just have to dive into and make it work. Scary though for sure!

Yes I finally got my ATT....taking NCLEX on Feb 8th. So frustrating though 'cause they really emphasized that people score better if they take the exam within 30 days of graduation and I was determined to do that, then for that to not even be a possibility....grrr! It reminded me of the days of waiting for a NOA or an interview date...waiting and waiting for something to happen then when it does, you think ''Well damn it's about TIME!!!''

LOL well enough of my ranting!!

I'm too tired to look back at my postings:) but did I tell you..I took mine 5 months later:) First they had me pending under my maiden name:( I had been married 15 years and in the middle of a divorce:) Then after I FAXed my marriage cert, they forgot about me! I was the last to test in my class and the rest had passed at 100%! every one knew it was me they were waiting for. ohh the pressure! Before I went to turkey the second time I called the state BON. I was told my paperwork was some how over looked! So that was cleared up, had my ATT that day and scheduled my test for two days after I would arrive back home. i had grand plans to study while i was in turkey (dumb plan) then thought i would study my butt off when i got back (again dumb!) When i come home i wonder around for a couple of weeks missing Necmi like crazy. So I went in to take the test of my lifetime with no studying! I started out with two easy ones..then they went all pharm on me..and peds (i scored the lowest in peds..wonder how i have kept these kids alive) After about the 40th question I gave up. I just eliminated the two that didnt fit and best-guessed on the other two. It shut down at 75:( I was so freaking scared. I went to my car cried and IM'ed Necmi. I told him I failed and was going to have to take some sort of refresher. So the moral to this loooong story is. don't sweat it! knock out the two that dont fit and critically think through the last two. If you start to get the multiple guess ones you know your headed in the right direction, they make you feel stupid but you are in the higher level of thinking at that point and you are close to the "you can't fail" level. One of my profs said that BSN students hsitorically score lower than ADNs so if my dumb BSN self can do it then your golden:)

I can't wait for necmi to get here and see our home and get this life with him (on this side of the oacean) started! I think you are right, we just need to dive in and work together. I have told him I wont divorce a second time and that my friend has huge swamp;) So he knows what he's in for;)Oh btw, your test date is the same day as my court date for my divorce:) It's a lucky day for American women who love Turkish guys:D

Have a great day:) and happy studying!!

I haven't heard anything like that, but I haven't heard much of anything. How much longer have you heard it takes?

It would make sense for those that work with Department of State, DHS, or other 3 letter acronyms, especially those that create foreign policy. It wouldn't look proper for those people to have a spouse with close ties to a foreign Gov. So they may need to make sure that the spouse does not have a relationship with anyone who works for a foreign Gov. But that decision should be the responsibility of the agency that employs them. So the extra time may be to allow the employer to be notified and provide a response.

I heard 3-4 months. I work for a 3 letter acronym but we don't have a hand in foreign policy:) I was hoping that maybe USCIS would just take a look at the investigation that was done through OPM and call it a day..but I'm thinking that was wishful thinking! omg, I pray I don't have to wait for one agency to contact another and wait for a reply:( Maybe this would be a little easier if he could get a visa to visit the US..instead of me having to make the trip each time. Ok enough of the pity party:) Good luck with the process:)

What do these letters from the bank/employer need to include? As a Federal Employee, I receive SF-50s when there is an action to my file. Currently I have 18 SF-50s over the past 3 years. It includes my SSN, DOB, location of where I work, pay, job title, service date, and it's electronically signed by HR at OPM. Has anyone used an SF-50 for the I134?

Hi, i see you are a federal employee too. I have heard that the investigation will take longer d/t this status. what have you heard?

Have either of you ever been to JA, and what are you considering cheap? There are lots of options available, depending on what you are looking for - However, life in JA is very different (not sure what it's like in Turkey) - hot water is a luxury, food and gas prices are consistently increasing, taxi fares are on the rise -

Many of us can make suggestions if you give us more info on what you are seeking - but honestly, the best way to find something is to know the runnings there and the area you want to stay in.

Thank you so much for replying. I think I would like Montego Bay..but I'm sure it is a bit more expensive d/t the tourist economy there. I was thinking maybe $400 a month do you think that is reasonable? I have no idea of the runnings or anywhere else in Jamaica. I have only gone to Turkey. I had thought that maybe I could just go down there for a week and look in the paper to find an apartment..but then I realized maybe I have no idea of how this is done:(

I have a co-worker that come here from Jamaica when she was 10, she is always talking about how unsafe it is there...another reason I don't wanna just go down and try to find an aprartment without some guidence.

Any idea?

Thanks so much:)

HEY YARDIES

WHAT A GWAAAN?????

Qiuck question:

If I receive US citizenship can I apply for US passports for my children at the US Embassy in JA?

One is 7 and one is 16.

sorry to horn in on your thread:) I have a question for the folks from JA. My finace is from Turkey, he can't get a visa for the US (go figure). It takes me about 24 hours and $1000 to travel there. So we came up with this plan:) We want an apartment in JA for him to stay for 3 months. That way it will take me 4 hours and $300 to visit with him. My question is how hard is it to find a cheap, nice and safe apartment? And if you have any suggestions on how to go about it I would be very appreciative. Thanks so much:) and good luck to all of you in the middle of this crazy process!!

I'd say that counts. I'm sure they know it's difficult...not to mention expensive... to get kids halfway around the world to meet someone. I did manage to bring my kids to Turkey to meet Ozzy once, but it was only because I already had their passports...and that was only for a week, hardly enough for them to really know each other. I think the efforts to maintain a long term relationship via phone and IM and sending gifts count even more...and mention his attempts to get a visa to come here and meet them.

They certainly don't make it easy to ease kids into the new relationship with someone and there's not a lot you can really do about it other than what you're already doing.

It's not so much an issue for getting the visa, I think, as it will be something you may need to be sensitive to once he is here and you are married. There is a huge difference culturally between the way kids are raised in Turkey and here and that has been a big clashing point between my kids and Ozzy. He expects a lot of them and while I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing, its difficult for them to understand that he is trying to help them become better people and not just being bossy or mean... I am kind of caught in the middle of that sometimes, trying to explain them to him and him to them, and I'm not sure if they'll ever really come to understand each other, which makes me sad...

Sorry for the slow reply, work has been kicking me in the butt!! I'm working OT cuz I'm going to Turkey the 25 of February!! Sorry, a little excited:)

I can't imagine what it will be like for Necmi to walk into this family. My kids are so crazy:) I have sent him videos of our home life just so he can get an idea of what it will be like..but still nothing can prepare for this:) I am happy that the kids will be going to their dad's every other weekend and spending the evening with him on Tuesdays and Thursdays..it will give Necmi a little break from the chaos:) and us a little alone time.

Necmi has surprised me before. I was in Turkey and upset with a choice one of my older daughters had made while I was gone. He was so sweet in saying to me "Honey, you are older than me. Maybe you have forgotten what it is like to be a young person." I didn't know what to say to that:) He gave me some really good advice for such a young guy;) I have asked that we don't marry for at least 80 days. I think we need the time to make sure he will be happy living in such a different enviornment. I wish the visa process was different...90 days is not enough time.

Any luck on the job hunt? Did you get your ATT yet?

Have a good weekend!!

Hi Nicole,

You asked if it is normal or not..of course it's not normal.I think there is a misundertood beetween you and Efe.I think he can't get the right one..

So please tell him just like this, if he goes to ''Nufus Mudurlugu'' where he belongs to (in which convicity he lives ) and if he asks his ''Vukuatli Nufus Kayit Ornegi'', the officer will give him without any fee. ( you can explain the 'nufus mudurlugu' like this also, if he loose his identity card the place he should go and get a new one.)

It doesn't matter where he was born, in a hospital or in a house.If he is a Turkish Citizen ,if he lives & works & studies & votes etc..in Turkey then he must have an Identity Card & Birth Certificate ( Vukuatli Nufus Kayit Ornegi) ,and also he has to get it translated by a translation office.(no need any apostile,do not spend more money) just a translation is enough.You can tell him like this in Turkish ,he will understand ( Noter onayina gerek yok).

Hope it'll be usefull for you.Good luck.

Wow, thank you so much! I stole this and sent it to Necmi too:) Again, thanks:)

Don't sweat it too much Melinda, I was in the same situation. My divorce was final one month before Ozzy and I got engaged and it was not an issue at all as far as getting the visa. It will likely be asked about at the interview, however, so just have an explanation ready. I just told the CO that my previous marriage was over for a long time before it was legally over & my ex and I had been separated for over a year before the divorce was final.

I think it's actually pretty commmon & they just want to know that you are not in the habit of marrying people to get them into the country. It would be more of an eyebrow raiser if you previously married and divorced another K1 visa recipient.

Thank you so much:) That is just what I needed!

I had read before that Ozzy had met your kids...did he come here or did you have to take them there? There is no way my ex will sign for the passports and Necmi can't get a visa:( They all talk to him on IM and Facebook etc. He sent them Christmas gifts and they sent him some as well. Do you think this would count for a relationship with them?

Oh, so much to think about!!

Hi everybody..

Finally I'm here..!! Entered Dulles Int on 26th December.

How R U all? how's getting with the icy cold? Fridge city. After Izmir, here comes to me as a North Pole.

I'm in Virginia / Fairfax,anyone here or near? Or anyone from Izmir?

I only know my lovely friend Gil&Pel but unfortunately she is so far away from me.

We all far away from our Country & City but glad to know that you all here. Keeps comfort.

Talk to soon ladies..

Hoşgeldin:) I hope you have a happy and wonderful New Year. I have visited Izmir, Necmi has friends from there. It is a great city with such diversity:) Good Luck in your new home:)

I have a question. I read on another thread that it could be a red flag at the embassy if there has been a recent divorce. Necmi and I will both be in this situation. Has anyone heard this before?? Gosh I have such a long time to be freaking about this one!!

Hey Erika, that sounds like fun!! Just be careful of all those drunks when making your way back!! :] We just had a drink at home & fell asleep....ah, it doesn't take much these days I guess....

& May all your dreams come true too this year!!

I have had absolutely no luck in the job department yet...I can't even get an interview and I have been applying like crazy (so tell Hamit not to feel bad!). I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with my resume. I think I'm the only person I know in my graduating class who doesn't have something lined up....pretty sad. I'm hoping to take NCLEX in the next week or 2...just waiting for my ATT to arrive so I can schedule it (how long does that take anyway? I paid the fees and stuff about 1 1/2 weeks ago....the board of nursing cashed my check and everything...and still no ATT). Of course, once I pass the boards, I'll really be feeling anxious about not having a job...

ah well, I'm sure something will turn up eventually...at least I can collect unemployment for another 6 months...I need a job soon tho. We have outgrown our house and our car (since Defne came along, we officially no longer can fit everyone in the same car together anymore...we've had to go several places with me and the kids in one car and Ozzy following behind in the other!!)

hoping for a better economy in 2010!!

Tanya

Just another thought...did you log into the pearsonvue website to check on things? Maybe calling the state board of nursing to be sure everything is finished on their end might be helpful too.

Awww Tanya...you are having as much luck as I am finding a different job-well, I gave up on that after 6 months! i don't have many hospitals in my area though. How many near you? This economy sucks truly, but if your classmates have found jobs, it's just a matter of time for you too! Keep at it! As for the ATT, I don't remember how long afterwards...Melinda maybe you can help here?? BTW Tanya, can one collect unemployment after having a baby (or 2 or 8 ha ha) for a year? Pray I don't become octomom!

The mountain was stupid as all the fireworks looked like small fart poofs from where we where! No drunks thank goodness, in fact rather quiet this year...hmm? Need to finish saving for that IVF....THAT sucks not to mention still have to go through the craziness of it! We need to find decent housing after that...so, busy year...and in between there help Hamit with finding a job so he doensn't get too depressed-oh, forgot he is there already! I need a vacation.

How is everyone else??

Erika you crack me up:) Granted I havent been in nursing long..but i really hope I never have the opportunity to see a "fart poof"! Is that something special found in rehab nursing? My mind runs wild with the mental image and psych patients:)

I had such a huge mess up with my ATT. I was the last to test in my class...and my class passed at 100% so if I had failed they alllll would have known I heard it can take two weeks for the ATT...so maybe soon:) And I think I was one of the last to find a job. I was very lucky though, the hospital I worked at as an extern at allowed me to stay until I found a job. Can't say it was easy working as an extern when I was really an RN. Just hang in there Tayna...I know it is easier said than done. But if you can make it though nursing school with kids you can do ANYTHING:)

yaaaayyyyy !!! I am with my baby now !!!

Congratulations!! It is always wonderful to log in and read about such happiness:)

Hi Everyone, I just wanted to introduce myself to this forum because VJ seems like the best support out there for this whole process. I'm a USC and my fiance is from Turkey. We met 2 years ago when we were both exchange students in Spain and we've been best friends ever since. For the past few months I was in Turkey (Kusadasi to be exact) and before I left, he proposed! I couldn't be happier. But unfortunately Efe just began his military service (short term, he'll be out in May). Before I left Turkey I told him that I could handle most of the visa forms on my own. Little did I know how overwhelming this would be, especially doing it completely on my own (+ the help from VJ). That's it! Has anyone attempted to start visa process while their fiance/husband was in the army? Anyone from the Philadelphia area?

Welcome and I hope you have a fast and hassle free process:)

So when you gonna get off the govament #######? HeH?

Who do you propose will provide care to the men and women who served our country in protecting your right to act in such a manner?

I'm a federal employee. I can see how all of this news could be upsetting without knowing the background. I am a RN working with our Nations Finest! I can only speak for myself. I took a pay cut when tranferring from my previous hospital. I don't have Sundays off, or Saturdays for that matter. When I work these days I do receive added pay, but this is the case at most hospitals. The staff:patient ratio was much lower at my previous facility. Speaking for myself, there are days I eat my lunch walking back from the Canteen. I work my tail off for the patients I work with. As a federal employee, I am held to a higher standard than at any other hospital I have worked at. I love my job, I work harder for less money and am proud to serve the people I work for.

Please before you judge maybe you should consider there is ALWAYS two sides to every story.