thongd4me

I for one empathize with your story, because in cases of domestic abuse, regardless of who the victim is,
they pretty much want to see blood and serious hospital time. My ex-wife made sure she had the 10-year
green card in hand before she started to actively abuse me and since it was just name calling and yelling
in front of the kids the authorities turn the other cheek.
I also had emails with nothing but "** YOU" appearing all over them graphically.
You can imagine her shock when I sued for divorce. She had no idea that she was
mistreating me, she just thought I should take that sh!t and be happy that she
never cooked, cleaned or drove me to the train station while I was supporting
the family. Luckily she did take care of the kids but much of that entailed making
me look like the bad guy. After a while I got tired of coming home to insults
30 seconds after arriving from a 2 hour commute.
I'm not surprised at all by the way the interview went.
In domestic disputes, the man is guilty until he suffers serious physical injury.
As for your scratches, they assume they were either self-inflicted or deserved; same for her threatening to call the police.
They call it "VAWA" because pretty much it doesn't apply to men.

Proof comes from actual document-able facts, not from imagination or expectations.
It must be presented in the context of the relationship in a way that shows that
a law or immigration regulation was violated in a willful way.
Was documentation falsified? Someone bribed or something bought in an unlawful way to support an application or petition?
For example, lying about a previous relationship may hurt your feelings but there was no law broken.
You might begin by looking at various laws & regulations.
http://www.uscis.gov/USCIS/Resources/Reports%20and%20Studies/i90_fraud_july06.pdf
http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.f6da51a2342135be7e9d7a10e0dc91a0/?vgnextoid=fa7e539dc4bed010VgnVCM1000000ecd190aRCRD&vgnextchannel=fa7e539dc4bed010VgnVCM1000000ecd190aRCRD&CH=act

The government isn't stupid. They know if one of the parties to the divorce has money, it's better that party
pay for the upkeep of the one with no money instead of the "unmonied" ex-spouse becoming a public charge.

I would say instead of a "stream of consciousness" {he lied to me, he misrepresented himself,
he cheated me emotionally and out of money} you should state the facts in the form of a
timeline, saying how you were planning to have him come on the K-1 and on what dates
you communicated so & so but got news from his family (in their words) that he had skipped
out. Also show them that you made an effort to communicate with him in the normal way
and what was his response.
Things he may or may not have said may give a clue as to when he left Laos.
Don't forget to tell them how much money and on what date(s) it was given.
Normally when a USC gives the visa holder money for travel, the visa holder will email the
USC the actual document indicating what flight he/she will be on. You must have been
alarmed when this did not occur.
The USCIS wants to know FACTS to the best of your knowlege. Your feelings are also
very important but less so to them. They just wanto to know what happened.

That's interesting because there was in a time in the Russian empire when there was a mass-scale
importation of everything and anything French (language, culture, art, music, you name it).
That pronunciation duplicates the French for that word.
In fact, the English was most likely borrowed from the French as the French did indeed invade and
conquer England. The English duplicates the French spelling but we, assuming that English came first
may not be entirely right in this case.

The best way to deal with them is to know they will never change,
so you tell them you will follow their advice and then go and do what
the hell you want. If they confront you later you remind them they only
gave advice, not orders.

I have been helping a USC & his Thai wife with a very simlar problem. They have been trying to get two kids visas for months now & still can not get it done. The Thai has one of these Thai court orders. These orders from a Thai court are useless inside the embassy. The embassy is U S soil so they go by U S laws.
The background of her life as a young mother is the norm in Thailand. The fact that the father hasnt been seen for many years is the norm as well. That explanation will not help.
There is always a way. Your lady will have to begin with a plan to prove beyond doubt that she nor anyone can find him. She must NOT say the kids have seen him or his parents or anyone from his family. The fact that he has been gone for 10 years will help. She should go find someone or some way to prove he hasnt been seen in all that time. Go the the police to get a letter saying they havent seen him nor know how to find him. Same for every contact he might have had in the past. Do not take this process lightly. In the experiance of the embassy these guys are often found when people really look. For this reason they will not make this easy.
Forget the idea of the Amphur document making a difference. Same for anything from a Thai judge. Everyone that tried this was denied & sent away to try a different avenue. The embassy will not tell her how to find him. They will insist she continues to try up to possibly a year.
She can try buying a pin number from any Thai post office that will allow her to call directly into the embassy. She must not ask about her case. She needs to ask general info questions only. Like; will they accept the Amphur letter. How about the effect of the Thai court order. This will allow her to feel she has the correct answers because most people dont want to hear it from people such as me. They always believe they have a new way that will work. The women I spoke of wasted 3 months so far only to let me know what I told her was in fact correct. Now she must leave to use her visa or loose it because she didnt get the kids visas so far. My husband is working with her USC husband to help them find a way. We have helped in 4 of these cases now.
This isnt impossible if there is a thoughtful plan based on knowledge of what the embassy demands. Below are the responces sent by the embassy to questions from one USC we are helping.
Read these several times. My husband points out that they have given a lot of info if you read between the lines.
Embassy:
We normally discuss these issues in person when people come for their interview. Applicants are generally able to satisfy the documentary requirements for immigrant visas without hiring an attorney. The normal requirement is to provide an affidavit of consent to emigrate, using our language, that can be executed by the biological parent either at the district office or at the embassy. Usually biological parents can be tracked down, such as through the grandparents. In the absence of a court document stating that only one parent has custody, we generally require that parent to make every possible effort to contact the absent parent before we will consider other possibilities. These children are not very old and one of them has had recent contact with the biological father, so we encourage your fiancée to make every effort to contact the father to have him swear the affidavit of consent.
Visa Unit
Embassy:
Thank you for your response. We again must state that we can’t provide any individuals with specific advice about their situations, but that most applicants discuss the situation with us at their interviews to determine the best way to proceed, and that most applicants do not need to have lawyers. Most applicants don’t qualify for a visa at the time of the interview anyway, and have to come for follow-up, which is no problem as long the follow-up takes place within a year of the interview. So, you may wish to postpone your decision to incur significant legal fees and again, have your fiancée focus for now on any other ways she might be able to contact the biological father.

I think the "football hooligans" in the UK have the Yanks and Canadians beat hands down.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW23lUV6oFk

A cinder block should be dropped on his pecker
but only after it was stretched and pulled by having
a fish hook inserted into the tip.

US Military marksmanship training doesn't teach soldiers to do head shots, not even sniper training is geared towards head shots.
The US Military teaches "Center of Mass" targeting as you're less likely to completely miss the target.
If anyone here can prove that they would be instantly calm and rational just seconds after a shoot-out with three armed assailants then you are a better person than most. His system was probably so full of adrenaline that even though 2 of the scumbags had fled the scene he was still in the middle of the shoot-out.
Those scumbags cased his place, knew when drugs & money would be out and disabled the magnetic lock on the door. They probably knew he was in a brace from his recent back surgery. They set the stage to have the odds in their favor, lucky for them he wasn't a much better shot than they were or we'd have 3 mommies claiming that their sons were heroes for being to stupid and clumsy to rob a disabled old man 3 shooters against 1!

It's news to me because I had no idea there was a sexist double standard among terrorists.
It's harder and harder to tell the white turbans from the black turbans....

My company just got through with this process and the notice must be sent to all employees as technically they are creditors as the company has to pay them money.
Your advice is dead on. As long as she does not have back pay owed to her, she does not have to fill out the document.
Dave

Very good answer.
Here's a true-to-life example.
Just seconds ago, as I was reading this post, my wife was in the kitchen making pork cutlets.
She just asked me to get the can of red curry from the cabinet and open it so she could add it to her cooking.
I GOT UP FROM THE COMPUTER, DID AS SHE ASKED and now I'm back.
Helping your spouse won't kill you and if you're smart you will drop what you are doing
because your spouse is doing something for you and needs help from time to time.
The snide remark "I'm not your slave" is an idiotic attempt at role reversal, because it is the OP herself that is the slave, not him.

Very good answer.
Here's a true-to-life example.
Just seconds ago, as I was reading this post, my wife was in the kitchen making pork cutlets.
She just asked me to get the can of red curry from the cabinet and open it so she could add it to her cooking.
I GOT UP FROM THE COMPUTER, DID AS SHE ASKED and now I'm back.
Helping your spouse won't kill you and if you're smart you will drop what you are doing
because your spouse is doing something for you and needs help from time to time.
The snide remark "I'm not your slave" is an idiotic attempt at role reversal, because it is the OP herself that is the slave, not him.

I'm sorry if my response is a bit blunt, I realize that you're in pain already but here goes.
Sister, he's playing you. A MAN doesn't let someone he purportedly loves suffer. Not even for a second. If he has to dig ditches and scrub toilets, then that's what a MAN does. Your new husband is a house guest and a sponge, nothing more and nothing less. I'm sorry but that's my feeling on the matter. He doesn't want to marry you, period. If he loved you he would stand up to his family and tell them, especially after you're legally married for 8 mos. Heck, he'd say 'let's get hitched' and be done with it. He's a user, pure and simple. He feels no compulsion in being lazy and doesn't feel any sympathy for you whatsoever. You are killing yourself, for what? Don't you deserve better than this? He gets "very verbally abusive and behaves erratic," when confronted, what do you suppose will happen in the future? His normal is for you to kowtow to his whims and not question him, what's wrong with this picture? If you've never had sex then the marriage is legal but it can be annulled since it has never been consummated.

To clear up your confusion, I wasn't refering to TBone's joke, but of
his repeated use of "Si, man" which is often repeated by his friends,
(in this case "IR5FORMUMSIE") imitation being the sincerest form of flattery.
You could have ignored the post; jealousy is also a form of flattery.

I thought Bush senior had reelection clinched after the victory in the first Gulf War. Americans were eating the victory up at the time and Bush was riding high...but he didn't get reelected.
Bin Laden's death alone isn't going to get Obama reelected.

The story of my life:

Bin Prayin'
Bin Beardin'
Bin Bombin'
Bin Hidin'
Bin Dyin'

or..."Do you remember the number of Jesse James' girlfriend?"

Beginning to see a trend here...

That must have made him very popular with uncles. Ended up with blondes did they, X T Si man! In closing all I can say is...
+1

+1

My best childhood buddy used to pull the legs off of ants, then put them in water and watch them sink, si man.