adiiann

"How needy you are to have Filipino friends in your area"
This question popped up in my mind when someone told me that I need friends closer to me. Then, I started to analyze my situation. I am not socially isolated as I have good rapport with my co-workers, I talked to my neighbors once in awhile when we're out for gardening or cleaning cars, and I am fine joining the neighborhood meeting sometimes.
I just don't feel like I need to find Filipino friends in my area. If we meet some, that's great. Me and my husband both working, and I want to spend my time doing house chores or doing my handicrafts or read books whenever my husband is not around and I am home. Since, we're both working, we always spend time together either going out or just being home to watch movie or play games.
Our life has been in fast track and there's a lot of changes since I got here 3 years ago. My husband's friends become my friends, and I always have fun going out with them but when we move to other state, we just hang out whenever we're in IL. Right now, I don't have any close friends in my area. I am kinda too busy to really go out with friends right now.
I wonder if some have same situation as I am. Would like to hear some experiences from others.

It is a Philippine idiomatic expression pertaining to a Filipino attitude that characterize by the nature of crabs. When you put crabs in the bucket, they will start to crawl up to get out of the bucket but before they're be able to successfully get out of the bucket, other crabs pulling them down. This nature is common in Filipino culture but maybe existing in other cultures too. Somehow, there are Filipinos that are not happy to see the Filipinos they know becoming successful, and sometimes they do nasty things to pull them down.
Anyway, really nice to hear different insights from you guys. Now, I don't feel different or feeling arrogant as I don't want to join Filipino organization here in my area, just to have Filipino friends. Same as other's experience, I feel like some Filipinos will take advantage on us, for asking favor all the time. I help when I can and I believe in sharing blessings, but I hate when people taking advantage.

True. But I guess, it was more associated with Filipino culture because this is really one of the common traits.

I personally don't agree on letting spouse get involve in family's financial problem. Giving money to help depends on our capability to help. As I always let people know that I went here in US and got married to build my own family, and not to gain money to support my family in the Philippines financially. I will think first my own family here in US and my kid's future before sending a dime to them. Though, I like giving gifts on occasion which is my habit even when I was still in the Philippines and it came from my own allowance in my paycheck.
Yep! Hospital bills in the Philippines is very expensive even with insurance. When I had foot surgery as I fractured my bone, it cost me $4200 in St. Lukes Medical Hospital and I was there for 3 days only, my company's insurance paid most of it but I still paid additional $500 out of my pocket and it's not included all the bi-weekly visit xray and visit to my doctor for 5 months which cost me another $1000.
So, for severe motorcycle accident, $10,000 may not enough. But as what other's posts here, give only what you can afford. Just my own principle, I would really feel awkward to ask financial help from my husband if its coming from his own pocket. Not a single dime I asked my husband (fiance then) to help me with my hospital bills as for me, it's inappropriate since he's not yet my husband that time and it's not right to make him worry about it if I can make sacrifices of saving every money I had to pay my bills. But hey, it's me. LoL.

Hi Batch mate!
Yep! We're getting to the fifth anniversary. We moved from IL to neighbor state MO because of job. We just got back from our vacation in the Philippines with our one year old daughter and missed the polar vortex here in the Midwest. Life isn't easy especially when living far from our family. Not much Filipino friends here in St. Louis but at least I am happy to have Filipino Priest in our new parish. I am also done with my immigration process. It's just nice to have blue passport. LoL. Not much query.
Since, we're coming to our 5th year anniversary, we might do some travelling within the states while our daughter is with my in-laws on summer. So far, I didn't see any changes with our relationship which I don't expect to have changes anyway. LoL. But having our first baby after 3 years of marriage gave us time to know more each other as well as adjust to our differences. We're still silly and in-love to each other. I got more flowers and cards than before during different occasions. LoL. Trying to get more dates as much as we can since hardly do that when you have a kid.
I hope that a lot of us here that arguing in some interesting threads before are still in good and happy marriage after all these years.

The considered bar girls in the Philippines are those who are in prostitution business. What makes a former bar girls flagged as red flag when comes to relationships with foreign guys is their experience to be able to manipulate and more often after comfortable living the guy can offer than the relationship. Not all are like that, some got in that business against their will but those who chose to be a bar girl because they don't want to work hard labor to earn their living, and my opinion, those who should be cautious.

I think most Filipinas that are considered submissive are those who are scared of something.

To OP, I think what Vanessa&Tony trying to let you know is that you point out things for immigrant, so he/she pointing out things for USC in immigrants' point of view.
Your posts pertain mostly to USC perspective and bias.

Lawyer is waste of money if you don't have overly complicated situation.

I find OP's post lack of essential details to come up with most likely better opinion.
Kids are precious, giving up them isn't right. But my question is, did the kids accepted her as their step mom? Did she said of getting rid of them because she's tired of trying to be a good step mom to them? Let's be real, some kids are mean. Did you make balance the relationship between your wife and your kids? Did you ask your wife how her life affected by your kids? Maybe the OP needs to examine the whole relationship if he is being fair to his wife and how could he reconciles his wife and the kids to be able to live peacefully amd happily in one roof.

I love the freedom of being "me" here. Like nobody cares if you look a bit different or don't want to follow the social norm as long as you act normal. I love the feeling of be able to drive and not to rely on public transportation to go wherever and whenever I want. Like the diversity of food here.
I didn't have any adjustment issues.

I love the freedom of being "me" here. Like nobody cares if you look a bit different or don't want to follow the social norm as long as you act normal. I love the feeling of be able to drive and not to rely on public transportation to go wherever and whenever I want. Like the diversity of food here.
I didn't have any adjustment issues.

I personally don't agree on letting spouse get involve in family's financial problem. Giving money to help depends on our capability to help. As I always let people know that I went here in US and got married to build my own family, and not to gain money to support my family in the Philippines financially. I will think first my own family here in US and my kid's future before sending a dime to them. Though, I like giving gifts on occasion which is my habit even when I was still in the Philippines and it came from my own allowance in my paycheck.
Yep! Hospital bills in the Philippines is very expensive even with insurance. When I had foot surgery as I fractured my bone, it cost me $4200 in St. Lukes Medical Hospital and I was there for 3 days only, my company's insurance paid most of it but I still paid additional $500 out of my pocket and it's not included all the bi-weekly visit xray and visit to my doctor for 5 months which cost me another $1000.
So, for severe motorcycle accident, $10,000 may not enough. But as what other's posts here, give only what you can afford. Just my own principle, I would really feel awkward to ask financial help from my husband if its coming from his own pocket. Not a single dime I asked my husband (fiance then) to help me with my hospital bills as for me, it's inappropriate since he's not yet my husband that time and it's not right to make him worry about it if I can make sacrifices of saving every money I had to pay my bills. But hey, it's me. LoL.

Just to quote what my husband said when I told him about this post.
He said that information that will possibly affect the relationship esp. should be disclose to your partner esp all the legal matters as your partner will share that burden with you once you get married.
My thought.... it's understandable that you can't tell everything to your partner as some you will forget esp fringe stuffs but important information or details about your individuality are hard to forget unless you've got amnesia and partner have the right to know.
I think some people avoid to disclose those matters to their partner because they think that their partner will not accept them anymore when they find out.

A lot here have +20 age gap and got approve without problem as long as there's substantial evidence of bonafide relationship.

Kinda agree on this one....
Some relationships that were posted here started to ruin or has been ruined when their young wife grew up and learned things here in America. When they were not the same woman that usually just nod to everything.

Just to quote what my husband said when I told him about this post.
He said that information that will possibly affect the relationship esp. should be disclose to your partner esp all the legal matters as your partner will share that burden with you once you get married.
My thought.... it's understandable that you can't tell everything to your partner as some you will forget esp fringe stuffs but important information or details about your individuality are hard to forget unless you've got amnesia and partner have the right to know.
I think some people avoid to disclose those matters to their partner because they think that their partner will not accept them anymore when they find out.

Two cents...
It's not because you're in love, you have an excuse for being dumb. It's not because you inquire and want to know every single details, you don't trust him.
"Caution is better than cure."
There are women ignore the signs of dishonesty and keep being ignorant as it's easy to do than to deal with it till it hit them in their faces. Some of the reasons is because the convenience of having such man.

Just to quote what my husband said when I told him about this post.
He said that information that will possibly affect the relationship esp. should be disclose to your partner esp all the legal matters as your partner will share that burden with you once you get married.
My thought.... it's understandable that you can't tell everything to your partner as some you will forget esp fringe stuffs but important information or details about your individuality are hard to forget unless you've got amnesia and partner have the right to know.
I think some people avoid to disclose those matters to their partner because they think that their partner will not accept them anymore when they find out.

Two cents...
It's not because you're in love, you have an excuse for being dumb. It's not because you inquire and want to know every single details, you don't trust him.
"Caution is better than cure."
There are women ignore the signs of dishonesty and keep being ignorant as it's easy to do than to deal with it till it hit them in their faces. Some of the reasons is because the convenience of having such man.

Two cents...
It's not because you're in love, you have an excuse for being dumb. It's not because you inquire and want to know every single details, you don't trust him.
"Caution is better than cure."
There are women ignore the signs of dishonesty and keep being ignorant as it's easy to do than to deal with it till it hit them in their faces. Some of the reasons is because the convenience of having such man.

Just to quote what my husband said when I told him about this post.
He said that information that will possibly affect the relationship esp. should be disclose to your partner esp all the legal matters as your partner will share that burden with you once you get married.
My thought.... it's understandable that you can't tell everything to your partner as some you will forget esp fringe stuffs but important information or details about your individuality are hard to forget unless you've got amnesia and partner have the right to know.
I think some people avoid to disclose those matters to their partner because they think that their partner will not accept them anymore when they find out.

Kinda agree on this one....
Some relationships that were posted here started to ruin or has been ruined when their young wife grew up and learned things here in America. When they were not the same woman that usually just nod to everything.

Don't forget to bring Pesos, you have to pay some fee at the airport.

I just checked the tracking of my package, they received it yesterday. Now, will check later if they cashed our checks. Hehehe...