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Darnell

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  1. Like
    Darnell got a reaction from Kano1024 in sending money to his family (long)   
    Well, see- here's the thing.
    Your husband has all of these 'typical' Indian Male things going on, which you have NO PERSPECTIVE ON, as you weren't raised in a family with typical INDIAN MALES.
    OTOH, your father was. He knows all. He knows this behavior well - he grew out of it right after you were born. He's been growing out of it more, these 30 years.
    IMO, HIS PERSPECTIVE (with all of the inputs I mentioned, not just sit and talk, but print and deliver) will be useful, after he reads all. He can advise you better than anyone else, as he's lived through this once already, once in his lifetime.
    Then, there's that other bit, as well. Not only can your father advise you about your situation, but he can advise you on what to do for going forwards. In the end, usually it breaks down to the two fathers having a long conversation, and exposing all of the fallacies and problems that have arisen with the couple. This usually happens in a 'typical' Indian marriage, after the marriage, when things have gone awry...
    So, don't call your father on this stuff. Print it all out, these 3 months of threads here at VJ, mail it to him via postal mail, with a cover letter asking him to read it all and prepare for a telephone conversation in a few weeks.
    IMO, your father will need time to assimilate all, and put together his advice for you.
    In the end, you may find (also) that your father will not want this fella in HIS family, until he straightens out and loses most of his 'Typical Indian Male' qualities. Your father has lost these, over the years - he knows all about it.
    Good Luck !
  2. Like
    Darnell got a reaction from Kano1024 in sending money to his family (long)   
    Well, I have one more comment to the OP.
    Take yer numerous posts of issues over these last 3 months,
    and show them all (including our responses)
    to your father.
    Ask him for his input.
    DO NOT have a convo with Dad, until he's read all.
    Then have a long, long convo with Dad, get his input.
    Then let us know what Dad says, aye?
  3. Like
    Darnell got a reaction from Kano1024 in sending money to his family (long)   
    But - you could learn the whole story.
    It's easy to do - just study ALL of her prior posts, you'll find the whole story interspersed across her basic questions.
  4. Like
    Darnell got a reaction from Far.han in My visa was denied and send back to NVC   
    i see 3 options:
    1. file a new I-130, on Tuesday, front load it with relationship evidence
    2. wait out the USCIS, see if they actually give you any chance for the petition to be re-affirmed or they ask you (USCIS) for more evidence
    3. move to Australia, the two of you (surely one of you qualifies for the work visa there? )
  5. Like
    Darnell got a reaction from JL & ML in Can I Start a Business with an EAD?   
    yup
  6. Like
    Darnell got a reaction from Nature Boy 2.0 in 90 Day Fiance -- season ???   
    Ok. Gotta say. When this first came out, first season , we learned that the producers trolled this site [fishing troll, not the other troll] seeking possible participants.  That p!ssed me off so much I refused to watch it. 
     
    Now I will binge watch it when I have time, as the silliness is comparable to one of MTV's old series where they put people in a house and study the dynamics [Remember Puck?]. 
     
    I like silliness and train-wrecks.  Fook the k-1 side of the story, let's see some train weeks on each episode!
  7. Like
    Darnell got a reaction from Nature Boy 2.0 in 90 Day Fiance -- season ???   
    Ah awesome. Will dig around. This is the Columbian lass that wanted her k-1 based husband to buy her larger broobies, and his mother was a pita? 
  8. Haha
    Darnell got a reaction from Dashinka in AOC might quit politics after Democrats blame progressives for House loss   
    Maybe she'll get appointed Postmaster General?  It's a start.  
  9. Haha
    Darnell got a reaction from NikLR in Rante Macabre   
    No dude. Stay local, no immigration paperwork.
     
    Don't you dare, or I'll come find you and remove your paper roll dispenser in the garage. 
  10. Like
    Darnell got a reaction from NikLR in Rante Macabre   
    You should build a warehouse barn at yer hunting lands, park em all there till covid is done.  
     
    So yeah, my son in NYC. All classes remote, he moved into an artist's colony building managed by an older madman.  Recent covid issues in the building, he jetted back home with his Mom.  Had a long visit last week.  Vetted some real estate rental that turned out to be a CL scam on Berkeley Place.  It was good to see him.  
     
     
  11. Like
    Darnell got a reaction from NikLR in Rante Macabre   
    1. No
    2. Not near 200, at all. Stop it, these constant rounding exercises, near page 150.  You do it on each thread.  Math is important and infallible, you treat it otherwise, here.
  12. Like
    Darnell got a reaction from NikLR in Rante Macabre   
    Food ingestion rules vary by household. Since now there are two households, there are two sets of rules. 
     
    However, Halloween Candy is sacrosanct, and now you have to pick up the pieces from that breakage. 
     
    I sense she won't listen to your advice and input, so stop wasting time with it.  Yank the tablet usage is awesome, as he is using it there, unsupervised [as she is quite lazy on parenting, based on what you've written these last 3 months].
     
    Be the Dad when he is there,  step up other times when there is some medical issue outside of your home
     
    That's it, yo.  Otherwise? To attempt to manage his time and him, when he's not with you? She could get litigious and do nasty things. 
     
    If you have time and money for a therapist, take him. 
     
    I should write tonnes here about co-parenting, but since it's her, it would be a waste as she's not able to understand, much less do, that. Part of that failing is culture,  part is her personality.
     
    Good Luck, and Godspeed!
    [No toilet seats were repainted during the writing of this missive]
  13. Haha
    Darnell got a reaction from Cyberfx1024 in 90 Day Fiance -- season ???   
    Ok. Gotta say. When this first came out, first season , we learned that the producers trolled this site [fishing troll, not the other troll] seeking possible participants.  That p!ssed me off so much I refused to watch it. 
     
    Now I will binge watch it when I have time, as the silliness is comparable to one of MTV's old series where they put people in a house and study the dynamics [Remember Puck?]. 
     
    I like silliness and train-wrecks.  Fook the k-1 side of the story, let's see some train weeks on each episode!
  14. Thanks
    Darnell reacted to Boiler in AOC might quit politics after Democrats blame progressives for House loss   
    They need to give her something to shut her up
  15. Thanks
    Darnell reacted to Asia in Rante Macabre   
    Especially for you


  16. Thanks
    Darnell reacted to Dashinka in Electoral College meetups   
    Well, there were more than normal occurring in 2016 mostly impacting Hillary, but who knows this year.
  17. Thanks
    Darnell reacted to Steeleballz in Electoral College meetups   
    I would add here, the supreme court ruling in response to the legal outcomes of the 2016 faithless electors was that states are allowed to enforce the electoral vote to ensure that it represents the outcome. Colorado removed Michael Baca as an elector in 2016 after he attempted to vote for John Kasich and replaced him with an elector who voted for the candidate who won the popular vote. Twenty nine states have laws requiring the elector to remain faithful, but not all of them include replacing the elector. Some are fines and misdemeanor charges.
  18. Thanks
    Darnell reacted to Steeleballz in Electoral College meetups   
    There have been 157 faithless electors in our entire history, but 71 were because one of the candidates died after the election but before the vote. That puts the real average at less than 2 per election. I would be worried about this potential in a 270-268 outcome, but not really where we are right now.
  19. Thanks
    Darnell reacted to Steeleballz in Electoral College meetups   
    We had seven faithless electors in 2016. At this time, Biden is trending towards 306 electoral votes, so Trump needs a net gain of 38 electors. I'm not seeing where that would come from. The people in these delegations are hardcore supporters of their chosen party. The only reason we saw seven faithless electors in 2016 is because of the overwhelming unpopularity of the candidates, and none of them actually switched to the other candidate IIRC, just picked a different candidate. I think Bernie Sanders got one, Colin Powell got one, and some people I've never heard of.
     
       I would say snowballs chance in hell of pulling it off if the electoral votes stand. If Trump comes back in Arizona and wins recounts in Georgia and Wisconsin, then there is an outside shot. It it ever did happen, it would be a closer election than this one is right now. It would also probably be the beginning of the end for the electoral college.
  20. Haha
    Darnell reacted to Dashinka in Airline pilot reports seeing 'guy in jetpack' near aircraft while approaching LAX runway   
    Usually happens when Darnell decides to grace us with their presence.
  21. Haha
    Darnell reacted to Steeleballz in Airline pilot reports seeing 'guy in jetpack' near aircraft while approaching LAX runway   
    This is scary. Zombie threads everywhere!!! 
  22. Haha
    Darnell reacted to Nature Boy 2.0 in Airline pilot reports seeing 'guy in jetpack' near aircraft while approaching LAX runway   
    Acetaminophen is way better 😁
  23. Haha
    Darnell got a reaction from Asia in Rante Macabre   
    No dude. Stay local, no immigration paperwork.
     
    Don't you dare, or I'll come find you and remove your paper roll dispenser in the garage. 
  24. Haha
    Darnell got a reaction from Asia in Rante Macabre   
    1. No
    2. Not near 200, at all. Stop it, these constant rounding exercises, near page 150.  You do it on each thread.  Math is important and infallible, you treat it otherwise, here.
  25. Like
    Darnell got a reaction from Asia in Rante Macabre   
    Food ingestion rules vary by household. Since now there are two households, there are two sets of rules. 
     
    However, Halloween Candy is sacrosanct, and now you have to pick up the pieces from that breakage. 
     
    I sense she won't listen to your advice and input, so stop wasting time with it.  Yank the tablet usage is awesome, as he is using it there, unsupervised [as she is quite lazy on parenting, based on what you've written these last 3 months].
     
    Be the Dad when he is there,  step up other times when there is some medical issue outside of your home
     
    That's it, yo.  Otherwise? To attempt to manage his time and him, when he's not with you? She could get litigious and do nasty things. 
     
    If you have time and money for a therapist, take him. 
     
    I should write tonnes here about co-parenting, but since it's her, it would be a waste as she's not able to understand, much less do, that. Part of that failing is culture,  part is her personality.
     
    Good Luck, and Godspeed!
    [No toilet seats were repainted during the writing of this missive]
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