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MissDinaDee

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  1. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to lilsadie in White House Petition - K1 & k3 VISA - Lets creat a campaign!   
    I agree with you 100%. Ill also add. Immigration is not a right its a privilege. What I dont understand is that people choose to enter into a long distance relationship, they have said relationship and then as soon as they decide to go through the process of immigration they cannot possibly wait for another 5 months, it must be NOW.
    The system is not going to change anytime soon. With the amount of people who are trying to get in it has to be this way. A few months ontop of the time you have already been apart isnt really a big deal. You made the choice, be patient and grateful that you are blessed to live in a world where its even possible to move. Thats my opinion anyways.
  2. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to TBoneTX in White House Petition - K1 & k3 VISA - Lets creat a campaign!   
    Good luck getting anyone in the general public to care. To them, Immigration = Illegals = To Be Stopped.
  3. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to Emanettes in White House Petition - K1 & k3 VISA - Lets creat a campaign!   
    This is the American side of the Emanettes. There is a lot of work going into the process, such as background checks. K1 visa process is fine, and not only will not be made shorter, it should not be made shorter. The process for couples who have already married does need to change though, that can take years, and it's ridiculous.
    Would I like the process go faster for ME? Yes. Do I want the process faster allowing people to abuse the system and not be vetted properly? No.
    I will sign the petition to keep it as it is. Your desire to be impatient is not a good enough reason to put all Americans in danger.
  4. Like
    MissDinaDee got a reaction from annie1 in Do I need a lawyer? CR1   
    I'm a college dropout and I was able to complete my forms.
    You need patience and time to do this process... If in doubt check it out! Research is the key and ask questions!
    Note: If your spouse has been denied entry or overstayed on a visa in the US you may need legal assistance if not and your case is straight forward you should be able to do this on your own. Save the money!
    Good luck!
    MrsJ
  5. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to Darnell in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    maybe a gamer's de-programming joint counselling, for several months? unplug, rediscover the world around you. In your version of it, there's a spouse, a bed, and the opportunity for nakedness. No ethernet card required.
    (just saying)
  6. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to Visitor in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    Get with the present?? Really???
    I think some people should get REAL!!!
    Texting and emails have their place to be sure especially for long distance relationships but for people who actually LIVE TOGETHER under the SAME ROOF I think it's quite reasonable and more "present" (and real) to say they should talk face to face.
    OK so maybe I'm old fashioned but I still believe that seeing a smile IN PERSON on a person's face stand or sitting in front of me is much better than a little cartoon smiley emoticon. Or maybe you think I'm behind the times for preferring to actually see tears in a person's eyes rather than see this ----> .
    Nothing beats seeing the actual body language and expressions on people's faces rather than hiding behind a screen.
    It's too easy to hide real feelings and expressions behind a computer screen and if more people came out face to face then maybe more truths would come out indeed.
    But hey...that's just me. I like to keep it real when it comes to real life! So call me old fashioned - sticks and stones.
  7. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to dukeandduchess in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    I'm cautiously optimistic for you... Just be sure this is what you BOTH really want. I typed up a better response earlier but my computer restarted. Briefly:
    - be cautious. Don't jump back into sex and being married. Your foundation is crumbling and you need to rebuild it. Start from the bottom and work your way up. If you don't work on fixing things it will just end up the same way. Go on date night. Get to know each other as friends/dating (I know it might be weird but try it!)
    - work on your communication. I also use email/letters to express myself for the same reasons. It has been VERY hard to overcome this, but my husband is a face-to-face kind of guy. Its uncomfortable. I still squirm, but it has improved our relationship.
    - Most of all, you BOTH need to do some soul searching. Is this what you really want? Does he still have feelings? If he doesn't this won't work. He might just feel guilty because he can see how much you love him (it's obvious).
    Something that I feel slightly uncomfortable saying since I don't know you or your husband very well, but I will say it nonetheless:
    It sounds like you are very dependent on him for taking care of you (and this is not a jibe at you at all, merely your situation). My husband would lose his mind if he had to drive me around to school and work in addition to his own job/life. Maybe it's time to buy a car for yourself or come up with some other means of transport. It'll give him a bit of a break and you will feel happier and more independent. Try and get his car back from his aunt. I honestly think this will help your relationship a lot because it sounds like its a big stress on your relationship.
    I hope you don't take that the wrong way. I know what it's like to rely on someone and dislike it. Right now I don't have much that I need help with, but when I start working I think we will go through a similar situation for a while. I plan to get a car ASAP.
    Anyway, offer is still there if you need to talk. I hope things work out for you. Just be careful!
  8. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to decocker in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    i'm sorry but texting and emails isn't the issue. different communication methods work for different couples.
    personally, i'm the type that can really only express myself by typing it out. my husband is the same way. if we have something emotional to talk about and we're in the same room, we'll talk about it face to face. but the communication isn't going to be as effective than if we were emailing. it's our personalities. we both hate conflict and things don't feel so aggressive when you can organize your thoughts.
  9. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to torontogal4388 in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    A great many people have trouble expressing their deepest emotions face to face. Yes, they are young, but if texting and email give them a comfort zone for truly expressing themselves then go for it.
    I know a great many "senior" men who never learned to verbalize their feelings. And a great many women of all ages who start to talk and then break down in heaps of tears and cannot get their thoughts out to the other.
    Get with the present Annie - if this lets each really express themselves what right have you to look down on them. NONE.
  10. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to Visitor in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    So it seems you both do most of your communicating by texting and emails. REALLY???
    I think you both need to grow up and sit down face to face and talk properly like adults would. Perhaps you are still teenagers (I don't know your ages) but you are married and as such should at the very least be talking out problems face to face. Not texting and emailing to communicate. You both seem to be stuck in your "courting days".
    Sorry if this sounds harsh but emails?? REALLYY???
    If you 2 can't talk face to face then you still have problems which aren't going to fix themselves through email chatter.
    Do you email each other when dinner is ready or email each other with possible plans for a weekend outing or anniversary date?
    Ditch the computers, iPhones and other 21st century devices and gadgets and sit down and talk to each other. As long as he has gadgets the temptation to cheat is still there. There will always be a measure of distrust there as he has betrayed you. IF he has no better use for a computer then he shouldn't have one and doesn't need one when he's married cause he's only using it to pick up internet girlfriends. You will always wonder who's on his email list or facebook friend's list and justifiably.
    So he says this girl has gone. I wonder how long it will be before the next one comes along. Maybe he'll be more discreet about hiding the next one better so you don't find out. Heck he was planning to go meet her while you were working. Someone needs to slap this guy upside the head and remind him that he's M-A-R-R-I-E-D !!!!
    He may tell you what you want to hear now but he surely can't do a complete turnaround overnight and become the you hope him to be.
    Good luck and I hope you stay on guard with him.
  11. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to CourtneyRox in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    Maybe he should go to Canada with you so you guys can get away together and you don't have to worry about him visiting with that girl while you are away...
  12. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to Saylin in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    Sorry I've been away for a bit. I needed sleep last night, obviously. For all those that have responded since last night, thank you for your kind words. And Takis, that article was very interesting to say the least!
    Anyways, a few updates:
    Before going to bed last night, my husband emailed me. He told me that he had found this thread that I created (he was actually the one who found VJ originally, I've just stuck around a lot longer ). He read through most of it and said he finally woke up and realised what he did. He apologized. He says he knows he doesn't deserve anything, but he's now willing to try to work things out. And that he wants to get back to where we were before all this happened. He mentions that the stuff he said to the girl was wrong, and they're now history. And that he was sorry that it took mentioning divorce and this long thread to finally wake him up to reality.
    We went back and forth in two or so more emails about me obviously not having much trust with him at the moment about what happened with the girl. He apologized and says he now realises that I'm actually worth trying to work things out. That he was too blinded by his lack of feelings to see how amazing I was.
    Once I got to bed, after awhile of us tossing and turning, he began to cuddle me. And in the morning, before leaving for work, he hugged me for awhile and kissed me goodbye. He has done neither of these things in a very, very long time. So I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. And it's an indication that he's trying, so my hopes are up. He also mentioned today he knows what he's going to get me for our anniversary (coming up on May 21). And that he's going to take me out to a nearby city to celebrate. So, possibly a good turn around, we'll see.
    Guess I'll see how the next few days unfold and go from there. Do I trust him completely? No. But I'd like to think I can. And that we can try to work things out, instead of just resorting to divorce. It now seems he's willing to try, which is a good sign, compared to recently.
  13. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to StarGirl in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    Actually I have to disagree with people who are saying that that's the man who needs to fight for a woman. What about the other way around? If you KNOW that he is the right one for you, you NEED to fight. First of all, you need to look deep into your heart and ask, what it is that you want. After that  - start thinking how to achieve it. If you believe that your happiness is with him - put all yourself in fighting for him. You might lose in the end, but you will know that you have done everything possible. Now, when I am saying fighting, it doesn't mean I am suggesting you becoming obsessive controlling person. Fighting is figuring out the way how to prove him that you are the one he needs. It might be that it will help both of you to live separately for a while. Someone has suggested that excitement of waiting to be together was the key factor in your relationship. And once this factor was taken away the relationship started crumbling. Think if you want to chance living apart. Think what is the best for you. And then FIGHT. Either to be with him, or to find your happiness with someone else. And never-ever give up!  
  14. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to chaine1 in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    Saylin,
    I'm sorry you are going through this. From personal experience, I know it sucks.
    Once the shock was worn off, I want to strongly encourage you to try to use this as a learning experience. I was married at 23, then divorced at 24. That was probably the darkest time in my life, but it also allowed me to learn an enormous amount about myself and my role (or lack thereof) in relationships. Nearly ten years later, I am in a very healthy, happy relationship. I feel I owe much of this success to the lessons I learned during that divorce. That divorce forced me to look at myself (and how I function in relationships) in ways I never would have before.
    I'm not talking about blaming partners, but gaining an intimate understanding of what a healthy relationship looks like, and then the behaviors and attitudes that should go along with it. That might seem easy, but it took a long time for me to understand what roads I should not walk down, which roads I should, and then the courage to walk those (sometimes hard and difficult) steps.
    If you cannot look at your relationship objectively, then definitely find a counselor who can help you. I went to a marriage counselor on my own for a few years, and it was probably the best money I ever spent (and I was a student with little money too).
    As cliche as it sounds, I would not be where I am today without those lessons. Find a way to make something positive come out of this.
    Stay strong, and good luck.
    Cheryl
  15. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to canada_socks in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    Why should she have to change herself to get him to change his feelings? The problem isn't her...it is obviously with him. Becoming a Stepford Wife is not the answer!
    Saylin, this must be very difficult for you. It would be a hard decision to divorce after leaving your family and home country behind for him and after going through this whole immigration process. In the end, it may be the better choice, and is best you found out now rather than later on down the road. Keep your head up high and keep as positive as you can through this process. You are a great person, and you deserve better!
    *hugs* Keep strong!
  16. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to torontogal4388 in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    Hi Saylin;
    We've been talking so you know my feelings on this.
    Hugs Dear.
    You have tremendous support in this group.
    You have earned it.
    Refiner's gold. Life tries you until you are pure gold. And I know you will make it through all of this... it just takes times, tears and eventually a lot of strength and self-respect.
    As you know, I work in the legal field. Your husband has responsibilities and obligations that he took on both through your marriage vows and through the AOS.
    Perhaps you can get some assistance drawing up a good separation agreement that will allow you to complete your schooling, finance a reasonable living until that is complete, allow you the privacy of your own home and not constant exposure to a heartbreaking situation. I can provide you with the foundations of an agreement that you can modify to your heart's content and to his as well. The car or a reliable car sounds like a good plan as well. DO finish your studies - you gave it up once - don't short-change yourself now. That gets tired very fast and you mentioned you have student loans - no sense wasting them or acruing more.
    Once you have a separation agreement that meets both your approval. Get it signed and registered in a local Court. That would make it more enforceable if the terms were not met.
    If he is requested to provide strong support until one year after your schooling is done - allowing you to establish yourself - then he might be more amendable to that strong support now as opposed to something long and drawn out.
    Keep in touch and, if you want, I can give you a framework of separations clauses to begin the process.
    Love you Hon. Will support you anyway I can. Pain and growth sadly do go together.
    As someone on here has said tonight - watch your health and your food - they help to keep you strong and sure through these stormy seas.
    Hugs,
    G
  17. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to dukeandduchess in Should I give up or fight for him?   
    I'm really sorry to hear about this situation. It has always been a huge fear of mine that things won't work out. I guess that you need to remember you were brave and bold. You made every effort to make things work, but sometimes things just don't go the way that we want or expect them to.
    I hope you finish school and stay strong. Maybe he is a decent guy, but don't trust that he will help you once you're gone. I think you can figure out things on your own. You're smart and seem to have a good head on your shoulders. You can (and will) make it on your own. We're all here for you if you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to.
    Best of luck.
  18. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to JimVaPhuong in Is it TRUE?   
    Here. I'll break down your original post for you:
  19. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to sulhaq in Tell me I can't do this   
    FullFledged don't worry. It is not fraud. Mark-n-Luz please calm down and do not spread mis-information.
    1. Anyone is free to apply for a tourist visa at any time. If your wife is granted a tourist visa while her CR-1 is pending, she can come and stay with you until her legal stay under the tourist visa expires. It's perfectly legal. HOWEVER, actually *obtaining* a tourist visa and entering the USA is a different story. While applying for a visa, she will have to disclose that she has CR-1 immigrant visa application pending, at which point the most likely outcome is that her tourist visa will be denied. Even if she is granted a tourist visa, there is a strong possibility that she will be rejected at the POE and be told to wait in her native country. Unless your wife can give a really good reason why she should be granted a temporary visa while having CR-1 pending, and shows really really strong ties to her native country and intent to return, the outcome here is most probably denial.
    2. If your wife is fortunate enough to get a tourist visa *and* get past the officer at the POE, then, she is free to stay in the US until her tourist visa legal stay limit expires. This maybe a few weeks, a few months or a full-blown year. Depends on what is stamped at the POE.
    3. Once your wife's legal stay expires on her temporary visa, OR, her interview appointment/medical appointment date arrives, she MUST RETURN TO HER NATIVE COUNTRY. There is no way around it. She HAS to do it. The medical/interview for CR-1 MUST happen in the country from where she is immigrating from.
    Other than the above three points, I'd personally have a solid explanation ready why your wife applied for a tourist visa while her CR-1 visa was pending. She will be asked about it at the interview. Personally, I wouldn't bother with it. It's a bit risky. The denial rate is very very high and it's just not worth it having to explain it to the CO at your immigrant visa interview and raising unnecessary suspicions.
  20. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to Rebecca Jo in Wife did not make it past homeland and got k-1 cancelled   
    It's very very very rare. But it can happen.
    The point is that - it's immigration. It's the Department of Homeland Security. Customs and Border Patrol is part of DHS. So is USCIS. If at any point, someone believes a step has been overlooked, or a detail missed, or God forbid they believe there has been any deception at all, then the whole process STOPS.
    A visa is just a visa. It does not guarantee admission to the US.
  21. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to Rebecca Jo in Wife did not make it past homeland and got k-1 cancelled   
    You need a lawyer and you need it now. You don't need to go to Korea to get help on American immigration matters.
    Look for Mark Ellis - he is a member here known as ellisisland.
    http://www.marcellislaw.com/
    Tell him EVERYTHING that happened. I am willing to bet she was turned back around because CBP believe that you are already married.
    And please do keep us informed of your situation. There are people here who care and people who would like to learn.
  22. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to HeatDeath in Can someone get married to a US citizen in the US then file the paperwork   
    While she will reasonably likely get away with it, she is taking quite a bit of a risk, and here's why:
    If you do adjustment of status from a fiance visa and you are denied for whatever reason, you can appeal, and appeals are usually successful. If you try to AOS from a tourist status, on the other hand, and are denied, again for whatever reason, you cannot appeal.
    The probability of success is about the same in both cases, but the downside consequences, and therefore the total risk, is much worse if you AOS from a tourist status. And thats assuming she even gets in. If the US customs officer decides she's lying when she states an intent to return to Canada, she could get denied entry and slapped with a ban from entering the US for anything from 6 months to forever.
    Not worth it. Her lawyer has no business recommending this plan, even though lots of Canadian lawyers do.
  23. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to VanessaTony in Husband passed away   
    First I am so very sorry for your loss.
    In relation to your status. Had he passed prior to filing you would have filed with a waiver. As you have already filed I would make an INFOPASS appointment and let them know he has passed and that you need to change it to a waiver filing. You should be RFE'd for the death certificate and have 86 days to supply it. The reason for letting them know is as with divorce if you are divorced while the ROC is processing then you have to change it to a waiver filing and if you don't and the card gets approved on a joint filing when it should have been waiver you can encounter problems later (like with USC).
    I would book and INFOPASS and try and speak with the people who produce the death certificates to get it sped up for immigration purposes. Hopefully they understand.
    Again I am so very sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you.
  24. Like
    MissDinaDee got a reaction from EminTX in Should I mention I have his card?   
    Never offer more information than they ask for!! Keep your answers simple and concise and answer only the question that is being asked. Offering up more information may or may not be detrimental but could lead to further questioning.
    I have been on my husbands credit card for 4 years and did not mention that when I had my K-1 interview to marry my hubby(visa was approved but wasn't used).
    Good luck!
    MrsJ
  25. Like
    MissDinaDee reacted to K&E2009 in So our petition got denied, what's next?...SAD   
    VisaJourney needs an app!

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