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maliciant

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  1. Like
    maliciant got a reaction from user19000 in What happened to Valsu?   
    I'm going to have to say that while I agree somewhat with justashooter in that things may seem all honkey dory right now and once she's actually out of jail and has the freedom to make a decision of her own again, things may get better... but I disagree with the notion that all asian women think alike, I think the culture of the philippines is VERY different from the culture of china. The culture differences between various asian countries that are connected by land may be less signficantly different but those seperated by oceans will have less direct influence and for example in the philippines, occupation from the spanish has very much influenced the culture (something china for example, didn't experience).
    I do doubt that things are really all worked out since right now valsu's wife really doesn't have the freedom to make her own decisions, once she's out of jail, the AOS is official, she'll actually have some degree of freedom that she hasn't had since arriving in the US. Valsu says everything is worked out now but if you asked him before his wife left if there was a serious problem he'd have said there wasn't, he was busy with work and didn't realize there was a problem, hopefully that's not the case again.
  2. Like
    maliciant got a reaction from user19000 in Restored!   
    I'll help you with that, why do all the used car salesmen brag about how honest they are? Because they are extremely dishonest. Why do the religious zealots spend so much praising god and putting their religion out there, it's because they feel guilty about their behavior and are trying to compensate. Honest people don't have to tell you how honest they are, and good people don't have to tell you they really are good, it's self evident, it's not a special occassion, it's just how they are, all the time.
    There is a huge difference between being very religious and posting praise the lord and it's in the lords hands at least once a paragraph, one persion comes off as religious, the other comes off as hiding/compensating for something.
  3. Like
    maliciant got a reaction from user19000 in Update: "True Love" Post   
    I just want to point out that she was picked up at a bus station, there is a good chance all she did was tried to purchase a bus ticket, possibly to go home to her husband, it'd be nice to know that though my guess is valsu doesn't even know definitively where she was buying a ticket to, or even if that was the case, she may have already bought a ticket and two states away was her destination and she was picked up after being reported as out of status by whoever she bought the ticket from (and ICE was waiting for her when she arrived?). Valsu did go to the police to try to track down his wife and so it's entirely possible her name on her passport triggered an alert of some kind that got authorities involved. If I was valsu I'd want to know what her destination was at that bus stop but in light of the mess things are in now, helping her first is more important.
  4. Like
    maliciant got a reaction from johnandkate in True Love or "Abuse" Fraud? (Long Story)   
    You can't claim to save 330 and also earn 330 and come up with 660, I hope you are in marketting or politics, that kind of math doesn't pay off anywhere else, it also explains why you couldn't budget for the AOS for so long...
    If I ever wanted to troll VJ, you've given me some incredibly good ideas on how to go about it...
  5. Like
    maliciant got a reaction from johnandkate in True Love or "Abuse" Fraud? (Long Story)   
    I wasn't saying you had intentionally critisized her publicly, only that she may have perceived it that way as a result of misunderstanding something you said (possibly in an actual public setting). Don't gloss over the other issues like the AOS, just because of the PTSD issue, yes that may have been the biggest part of the problem but the AOS is no small matter either. You've stated reasons for not filing the AOS, financial and time, neither of which are very good reasons, especially beyond the first month or two (your wife most definitely had time early on, or after she started spending time alone in the bedroom etc, and financially the sooner the AOS the sooner her income can replace it, clearly you have access to credit).
  6. Like
    maliciant got a reaction from johnandkate in True Love or "Abuse" Fraud? (Long Story)   
    That is the short version of your story, I read the whole thing and the quote is probably the most important part. To me that sounds like a recipe for crazy, especially the miscarriage and the AOS, I see from your other reply you apparetly hadn't realized what a huge issue a miscarriage could be, considering the filipino culture and her age it's probably a lot more significant.
    The other thing, the AOS, I can see holding off a month or two due to finances if you are generally able to pay everything up front, but this is also another huge issue, until that AOS is filed she IS somewhat of a prisoner, she can't work, she can't travel home (short of repeating the whole immigration process via K3) and has somewhat of an uncertain future in america. You indicated in the post and the title of the post that fraud is possible, and from what you wrote there are reasons to suspect it, you've apparently been here long enough to know that pretty much any post in this forum where a marriage ends the USC tends to suspect it was fraud all along... america in general is paranoid about visa fraud and to make it worse, it's a boogey man subject, short of someone saying they used you for fraud you don't ever really know for sure and my guess is most of the time that's not the case, unfortunately as USC's we're stuck with having that suspicion for some time into the relationship, because if nothing else we are reading about some pretty unbelievable cases where after 1, 2, 3 years marriage it turns out to be a total sham... well failing to file AOS is kind of the reverse of that, it leaves your wife in a position of being a slave, she is completely dependant on you, and having not filed the AOS leaves her in a position of wondering if she's being used too. Another issue is that once you are out of school, it's harder to meet new friends, you've moved around enough that you've probably picked up on that, and odds are you met most of the new aquaintences after moving through work, and this is something your wife doesn't have the option of doing either (other than volunteering somewhere which I think is a good idea while waiting for the AOS especially for someone who is used to working). But the reason the failure to file AOS really bugs me, you said financial reasons prevented that, AOS isn't cheap but from a purely financial stand point even working at mcdonalds or some other poor paying job that ANYONE can walk in off the streets and get hired for will likely cover the cost of AOS after the first month, never mind the other social advantages of her having a job.
    Hopefully things will get a chance to get worked out, and I can only hope that I don't find myself an a similar situation, it sounds like you tried to make it work, I don't know how unbiased your version of events is but it seems you tried to keep things as factual as you could, and well, keep us updated about the situation, no one likes a cliffhanger ending (you especially I think).
  7. Like
    maliciant got a reaction from Member9 in Step son's problem   
    If I was king, you'd be my court jester. I'd also have a kung fu monkey as a body guard.
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