New Beginnings

Married to a Moroccan for 7.5 years now! He came on a CR-1 visa almost 6 years ago Since then, he's become a US citizen, we bought a house, finished school and had a beautiful baby girl
Just checking back in after several years to see how this site is doing.

Married to a Moroccan for 7.5 years now! He came on a CR-1 visa almost 6 years ago Since then, he's become a US citizen, we bought a house, finished school and had a beautiful baby girl
Just checking back in after several years to see how this site is doing.

Yeah, I have to say the "shouldn't she comply with my demands" part made my skin crawl. I don't know you from Adam but you might want to figure out some things about yourself. Any guy that believes that his fiance or wife should comply with his demands makes me a little nervous.
Your marrying a person not training a dog. Time to take a step back.

I find the wide-eyed ignorance of newbies and the generalization of all things MENA, along with the phenomenon of newbies expressing some weird notion that their MENA s.o. is some rare exotic species rather than a human being much more annoying than any of the realism that comes from the non-newbies. But, different strokes for different folks, as they say.

As a not newbie I've seen crazy women asking for advice on how to steal their MENA husband's child away from their custodial mother in Egypt, a woman find out her husband is actually married to another woman besides herself, whose nieces and nephews were actually his own spawn and somehow this is the consular officer's fault, and mother/daughter US citizens hook up with MENA brothers. So pardon my cynicism, because that's just the tip of the iceberg.

The worst 'incorrect advice' ever given on VJ. Wow!!!!

I am so incredibly happy writing this post, yesterday my husband became a US citizen along with 1,509 other people in Minneapolis, MN. Yesterday marked the end of the exciting, stressful and seemingly endless journey that we have been on since 2007 when we met, fell in love and married. Overall our journey was relatively easy; my husband passed all of his interviews and we never had an RFE. But I don't think it would have been this way without the help of all of you. We will continue to visit this site periodically and I hope that the knowledge we've accumulated will come in handy for those still going through the process. Good luck to everyone!

I am so incredibly happy writing this post, yesterday my husband became a US citizen along with 1,509 other people in Minneapolis, MN. Yesterday marked the end of the exciting, stressful and seemingly endless journey that we have been on since 2007 when we met, fell in love and married. Overall our journey was relatively easy; my husband passed all of his interviews and we never had an RFE. But I don't think it would have been this way without the help of all of you. We will continue to visit this site periodically and I hope that the knowledge we've accumulated will come in handy for those still going through the process. Good luck to everyone!

I am so incredibly happy writing this post, yesterday my husband became a US citizen along with 1,509 other people in Minneapolis, MN. Yesterday marked the end of the exciting, stressful and seemingly endless journey that we have been on since 2007 when we met, fell in love and married. Overall our journey was relatively easy; my husband passed all of his interviews and we never had an RFE. But I don't think it would have been this way without the help of all of you. We will continue to visit this site periodically and I hope that the knowledge we've accumulated will come in handy for those still going through the process. Good luck to everyone!

This sounds incredibly similar to our experience. My husband's first interview was full of trick questions, for example, she asked him what I have done in my 29 years of life, at the time I was only 26 so he corrected her by saying that his wife is 26. She then went on to tell him that he doesn't know my age and knows nothing about me. My husband stayed firm in stating and restating my birth date and even offered to show her my birth certificate because he of course brought a copy. After hearing how the interview went we were very nervous. I called the consulate the day after his interview and asked why we were denied, they explained that we weren't and were just in AP. Our AP lasted about 5 weeks if I remember correctly and then he was called in for a second interview. The second interview was extremely nice and easy. She asked him to tell her about me and after a few seconds said it was enough. I, of course, called the consulate immediately after his interview and was told that he should stay in Casa because he would be issued the visa the next day.
My recommendation to you is to call them daily and be as nice and sweet on the phone as you can to whoever answers. Just explain that you just want to follow-up on the case and tell them how much you appreciate their help. I talked to the same person almost every day and he ended up being very forth coming with information for us.

I can understand that it's frustrating. But try to take a step back when you feel yourself getting upset and imagine if you were going through this complicated process and didn't really understand the why's and how's. I remember when my husband first came to the USA and things that were very easy and normal for me were strange and complicated for him. I had to constantly remind myself that I didn't just know this stuff from birth, I had to learn it too, and I'm sure my parents got sick of explaining things to me while I was learning. I think it's a great idea to find something in Arabic for him to read, but also try to keep your patience and remember that this process is complicated enough for native english speakers to understand let alone someone who is not fluent.
I mean, in all honesty, look at VJ... this board was created because of how complicated the process is and how many times do we see the same question asked about cover letters or other equally as simple topics? And, the only reason those "simple" topics are simple is because we've been through it, but the people just starting are lost, nervous and overwhelmed. Be patient, explain things as many times as it takes and in the way that you would want someone to explain it to you. Believe me, tougher times will come and you don't want to start losing patience now.
Sorry.. I'm off my soap box now.

My husband has had a very easy time here in America. I know he misses his family back in Morocco but he was able to find work quickly, start college, become a Certified Nurisng Assistant, find a better job as a CNA, and is awaiting the decision of whether he was accepted into nursing school or not. He came to America speaking, writing and reading English very well and has tested into higher college classes than I did in Math and science. He's made several friends at the mosque and we have been able to share in holidays with them. I do my best to make holidays special for him and cook Moroccan for him. I know he's happy to be in America but I believe he wouldn't be here if it wasn't because of me. All in all, I am very proud of how well he has done here and feel like we're very lucky that he was able to find work so quickly here.

You aren't necessarily dealing with 1 company in both countries. Last time I checked Fedex didn't have any home offices in Morocco, once the package arrives in Morocco and goes out for delivery it is handled by servicing companies for Fedex. Fedex basically loses visibility once the package arrives in Morocco and can be held by customs for any amount of time.

My husband never had to do housework because he was out working 70 hour weeks. When he came here and didn't help with the housework right away it wasn't because he believed it was "women's work" it was because he didn't know how to vacuum, dust, clean a bathroom, start a dishwasher, he never owned a washing machine, he never owned an oven. This was all new to him. He didn't know that to keep a clean house you need to do all of the cleaning at least once a week if not more and that we do a big spring cleaning push. He didn't know that we need to change the filters in the furnace/air conditioner or that you should clean the inside of the windows too.
He never had to be aware of something on the floor or mopping or sweeping so why would he magically become aware of these things? It helped when I sat down and explained all that goes into taking care of the house and what we need to do together to make sure it gets done. When he's busy with school and work I pick up his slack now, when I'm busy with school and work he picks up my slack. He needs to understand what you're asking of him. From what I've heard of Squeeky's husband, I don't think it's a "women's work" issue. I think he just doesn't think about it. Be calm, talk to him, understand that it won't just change over night. Like on the movie The Break-Up, why would people *want* to do dishes, yes we want them to want to help out, but the reality is I don't like doing the dishes, why should he want to do them?
You need to approach this situation with the mentality of teamwork and you will see you get more accomplished.

Save yourself from trouble and leave while you still can.. There are plenty of honest and shall I say.. more conservative Asian women out there.. and while you're at it, get tested! I wish you the best. I'm glad you smelled the rat early on, and saved yourself.

It should have arrived separately. We received the NOA1 and then a couple weeks later received the biometrics appointment letter.

I agree... just because he is an attorney doesnt mean he understands everything. I think you will be safe if you want to spend the 400 to see morocco...you already paid EVERYTHING!!!!!

It seems like the majority of people are not called for an interview.

In Morocco, YES, it is REALLY DIFFICULT to prove a relationship is true. Go to the MENA forums and read about the denials out of Morocco there and/or go to the reviews on here of the Moroccan consulate. If you go in unprepared, it will not go well - especially if you go in thinking it is not going to be difficult to provide a legitimate relationship in the Moroccan consulate.

Today I overhauled most of the apartment myself. I figured giving him a clean house to start with might help. He seems to be getting that this issue isn't going anywhere. The last thing he wants to happen is for me to go get some wine and let all this frustration simmer. So he's being agreeable to pulling some more weight. I'll let ya'll know how it works out

I agree. I come from a Middle Eastern country and I did not know nothing about housework until I moved here. My parents have a maid, and I just occasionally had to cook for myself when they or the maid were out of town. On the other hand, my husband had been on his own and totally responsible for everything housework related for 8+ years. After I moved here I was overwhelmed by how much I had to learn.. He taught me how to hold a broom, how to do laundry, how fold clothes (I am totally serious), how to use different cleaners for different purposes. It's a good thing I love cooking, but my proportions in the first couple of months were messed up. It was always WAY TOO MUCH food. The first week I started cooking just enough food and learned how to stick to serving sizes, we actually celebrated.
After I became more comfortable doing the house work, he started leaving it all on me. That kinda got me frustrated. I know he is the one working, but giving me a hand in a house that barely stays clean (Well, spotless to my standards) for more than two days because of the children, would be very nice. I continued to just keep doing all the housework for a month (minus taking the trash out and taking care of the cat's litter box), and then it felt like he should contribute even if just a little bit (at least pick up his dirty clothes from the floor!).. We had a heart to heart talk and we agreed that: he would cook once every weekend, none of his clothes would be on the floor anymore, he has to help with the laundry, the dishes now and then, etc. It works for us! And I am sure when I start working, the schedule will be modified to fit our schedule.
Your husband can learn Sarah. If he seems to slack, remind him that it is his responsibility to get the housework done until he works and maybe you two can share it equally. I am glad the talk you had with him worked.

I don't buy that whole "he's from a country where women do the housework" stuff, he's an adult and he has responsibilities. I would sit down and have a calm, frank, discussion with him. I would lay out all the chores that need to be done around the house and split them up. He can't be expected to be home, take care of the child, and do all of the housework. And you can't be expected to work 2 jobs and do all of the housework.
When my husband came here he was used to working 70+ hour weeks and had a mother and sister who stayed home. Obviously they did the cooking and cleaning. For the 2 months that he was unable to work I would get frustrated when the dishes weren't done and all he had been doing for the day was watching tv. We sat down, I listed out everything that needs to be done around the house, the frequency it should be happening and we decided who will be responsible for what.
When I'm feeling overwhelmed with work, I'm a tax analyst at a very large company and work 60-80 hour weeks when I'm busy, I let him know. I will come home and immediately say, the dishes need to be done and I really can't handle doing them right now, please help me. I think you also need to start being honest with him about this stuff. No matter where people are from, there are some people who notice and pay attention to housework and there are some who don't. My brother is one who doesn't even notice when the house needs to be picked up and he's American. If you hold these things in until you explode you are at fault too. Be honest about your feelings when you're feeling them, he'll probably respond better if you are calm and not upset when you talk to him.

Better yet, do some real research that doesn't just involve VJ. Go to your local immigration assistance places and ask to do some sort of survey. As it's been pointed out, the USCIS does not only handle K1 and CR/IR-1 visas. I would survey the recent immigrants and ask not only what their timeline was but also what their experience was. The people you are trying to reach are reached with facts, figures and the bottom line. They will not be reached with phrases like “with no end in sight.” That’s simply not a true statement, there obvioulsy would be an end, maybe not in the timeframe we would like, but there will be an end.
Do some research on six sigma or some other process improvement program of your choice and get some real information. You have basically just whined to the teacher about Billy bothering you in class but you have nothing to back up your claims. This is the way I would look at it, I would determine first if the process is in control. For this, you need a whole heck of a lot of data so start gathering it now, figure a month on either side of their goal as in control and then see where the process is.
I feel your frustration, we all do. I’ve been there, my husband and I were apart for what seemed like a very long time and it was horrible. But you also need to remember that each and every person out there with a pending case could make the exact same argument that you are making. And contrary to your belief, their arguments are also just as valid as yours and their spot in line is just as important to their “family unit” as yours was to you.
If you send this the way it is right now, be sure that you will not effectively get your point across and you’ll just lose out on the postage.

I disagree, money is everything in politics. Which is why proving how it negatively impacts the bottom line is key. For example, if this person could actually do some research and prove that by reducing the wait time they could increase the $$$ coming in by a certain percentage that would definitely get their attention.
I would venture to say that whinning isn't nearly as effective.

Better yet, do some real research that doesn't just involve VJ. Go to your local immigration assistance places and ask to do some sort of survey. As it's been pointed out, the USCIS does not only handle K1 and CR/IR-1 visas. I would survey the recent immigrants and ask not only what their timeline was but also what their experience was. The people you are trying to reach are reached with facts, figures and the bottom line. They will not be reached with phrases like “with no end in sight.” That’s simply not a true statement, there obvioulsy would be an end, maybe not in the timeframe we would like, but there will be an end.
Do some research on six sigma or some other process improvement program of your choice and get some real information. You have basically just whined to the teacher about Billy bothering you in class but you have nothing to back up your claims. This is the way I would look at it, I would determine first if the process is in control. For this, you need a whole heck of a lot of data so start gathering it now, figure a month on either side of their goal as in control and then see where the process is.
I feel your frustration, we all do. I’ve been there, my husband and I were apart for what seemed like a very long time and it was horrible. But you also need to remember that each and every person out there with a pending case could make the exact same argument that you are making. And contrary to your belief, their arguments are also just as valid as yours and their spot in line is just as important to their “family unit” as yours was to you.
If you send this the way it is right now, be sure that you will not effectively get your point across and you’ll just lose out on the postage.