shikarnov

Cash? Seriously? I know folks over there aren't well off, but isn't stuffing a C-Note into a sympathy card more than a little... insulting?

I don't think this is about your wife making adjustments, concessions, or comprises for your marriage. It's not even about the Russian language. It's simply about parents and children and step-parents. To this day, even though my mother and step-father have been together for twenty years, I still don't want him privy to everything I say to my mother. I respect him. On some level I even love him. But he is NOT my father, and there are certain matters with which I'll never trust him. Fortunately for me, and fortunately for my mother, he is a man of great wisdom and understands that he doesn't need to be a part of everything.
His wisdom, and his respect for the privacy my mother and I deserve, is a big part of the reason he and I are close at all -- and it's an even bigger part of the reason he and my mother are still together (for there can be be no mistake: he who comes between mothers and children does so at his own peril).
My sincere advice to you is to respect their privacy. They'll always have a special and unique relationship that sometimes excludes you, and that MUST be okay. If it's not, you might as well file for divorce now because somebody eventually will with this lack of respect poisoning your marriage.
Good luck
Z

I don't think this is about your wife making adjustments, concessions, or comprises for your marriage. It's not even about the Russian language. It's simply about parents and children and step-parents. To this day, even though my mother and step-father have been together for twenty years, I still don't want him privy to everything I say to my mother. I respect him. On some level I even love him. But he is NOT my father, and there are certain matters with which I'll never trust him. Fortunately for me, and fortunately for my mother, he is a man of great wisdom and understands that he doesn't need to be a part of everything.
His wisdom, and his respect for the privacy my mother and I deserve, is a big part of the reason he and I are close at all -- and it's an even bigger part of the reason he and my mother are still together (for there can be be no mistake: he who comes between mothers and children does so at his own peril).
My sincere advice to you is to respect their privacy. They'll always have a special and unique relationship that sometimes excludes you, and that MUST be okay. If it's not, you might as well file for divorce now because somebody eventually will with this lack of respect poisoning your marriage.
Good luck
Z

I wish I could relate... My wife has adjusted perfectly well to American life and cuisine (and gained more than a few pounds to prove it).

^ You and your wife obviously have zero experience with domestic violence victims. It's easy to look at the situation "from the side" (as they say in the FSU), and declare the victims to be stupid. But in many cases, fists are only the last part of an abuse cycle, following all kinds of psychological manipulation and conditioning. Women caught in abusive relationships need help. The friends who sat there, chatting on the phone about how stupid their abused peer is should be drawn and quartered themselves. Real friends don't sit around and watch each other get killed. At best, they're ignorant and selfish. At worst, they're accessories to murder.

^ You and your wife obviously have zero experience with domestic violence victims. It's easy to look at the situation "from the side" (as they say in the FSU), and declare the victims to be stupid. But in many cases, fists are only the last part of an abuse cycle, following all kinds of psychological manipulation and conditioning. Women caught in abusive relationships need help. The friends who sat there, chatting on the phone about how stupid their abused peer is should be drawn and quartered themselves. Real friends don't sit around and watch each other get killed. At best, they're ignorant and selfish. At worst, they're accessories to murder.

^ You and your wife obviously have zero experience with domestic violence victims. It's easy to look at the situation "from the side" (as they say in the FSU), and declare the victims to be stupid. But in many cases, fists are only the last part of an abuse cycle, following all kinds of psychological manipulation and conditioning. Women caught in abusive relationships need help. The friends who sat there, chatting on the phone about how stupid their abused peer is should be drawn and quartered themselves. Real friends don't sit around and watch each other get killed. At best, they're ignorant and selfish. At worst, they're accessories to murder.