DanielParul

I see another issue here. You want her to stay here and adjust status and then leave that poor man and come to you. I would be very uncomfortable with any person who can do this to another person. It just shows how mean and selfish she and/or you are. The best way to do it is to divorce and let that poor man off the hook. She should go back and then you can file for a K1 or marry her and file a CR1.

Is it belittling or just my opinion? Please share your story with women but also remember not everyone thinks like you. If it is such a sensitive issue for you then you might do better talking to private friends and family instead of posting it on a public forum and asking for inputs. You have my sympathy for what happened to you but it still does not change the fact that maybe a little introspection is needed in most cases why the marriage failed rather than claiming GC fraud or abuse.

That is not abuse. Why not just return back to friends and family and the life you had instead of trying to use her condition as a base for you to stay here. She was wrong for not telling you but 2 wrongs don't make a right.

She came on VJ for support and guidance. Not to get your opinion. If you have any support or suggestion for her offer it otherwise stay out of this thread. For you to judge somebody so harshly brings up some of your character traits too.

exaclty dane, I bet your baap is the MP of bihar or jharkhand and your bebe is noorjahaan and your 'khand mishri' is cleopatra. You are the baap of desi pedu behavior (PHD does not mean educated). About the boasting. u started it. So STFU. Apne maa-baap. khand mishri ko sambhal ke rakh. Izzat utarni mujhe bhi aati hai. But i don't want to get into it with a low standard man who wants to arue with women to pass his time. Some PHD!!

Oh! the ####### behind the keyboard has spoken again! He doesn't stop!
About your sacrifices for your beloved wife -
my self... im an engineer, i go to work everyday i work in construction i knew my wife since i was 17, i married her at 25, i work everyday for her and only her, i signed a checkbook full of checks for her Most people here do that boy!
and gave her her own credit card attached to my account, i dont ask questions i just pay her bills Just 1? thats not good enough
the month i got married i took out a 250k life insurance policy on myself with her as the sole beneficiary, (shes my wife, her well being is my responsibility, it would boon many of you to remeber that your spouse is your responsibility) Not again! only 250k, thats not even half of what my husband did.
i call her every day long distance on the damned phone every day, when i wake up, when i get lunch from work, and before i go to sleep. we havnt missed a day in 9 months... bloody 200.00 LD charges... wha?????? not even close to $1500 my husband paid every month on our phone bills.
i love how american citizens marry a foreign national, and then the first thing you do when ur foreign spouse fights with you is throw a visa and their status in their face. I love how this man is here on VJ petitioning for a K3 for his wife and he keeps talking about USCs marrying foreign nationals!

Don't assume. Thankfully we don't have to think of our marriage as doing time in jail. We compliment each other and are equals. After all cleaning your SO's poopy butt is not the only sign of true love...

whats with the name calling?
Personally, I want to see how long your wife puts up with a man with an attitude like yours.

Wow! You definately sound like a good housewife material. Submit yourself to yours, ok! cook, clean, polish his shoes, wipe the toilet seat after him, even flush the toilet for him if he wants you to and never ever open your mouth (thats not a good wife). Oh! AND DO EVERYBODY A FAVOR AND STAY AWAY FROM GIVING ANY ADVICE TO ANYBODY EVER IN YOUR LIFE!!
To the OP - Marriage is compromise and understanding each other but, it is not degrading and disrespecting each other. Try Marriage Counseling is all I can think of right now. See if it helps both of you to communicate and resolve those issues. Any issue in a marriage, no matter how petty it may seem to others is still an issue and needs to be addressed and resolved. Hopefully you will do what is best for you and find happiness.

Hope you find the strength to do what is right for you. You deserve a man who finds you the most beautiful, attractive woman in the world and loves you. This one does not seem to be him. Take charge of your life and emotions now and don't let a loser who can't even man up to his part in your marriage control the way you feel.

I was trying to give the OP benefit of doubt but this statement is the last straw.
Valsu - You should be in jail right now with her for not fulfilling your promise to the government too. Without you she might not even be in this country.
Everybody else - I am sorry for this but it just pi$$ed me off so much!

Money problems are not a good excuse?
If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. Plain and simple.
............
Money problems need to be sorted out before you get married.
If you can't afford it, then you don't have a right to get an alien fiance here and marry her and subject her to this uncertainity about her future here.
It seems plain and simple to you because you are not out of status, illegal and in jail right now.
What could have been more important than to make sure that your wife had a legal status in this country?

I am from a 'so called' 3rd world country. I can tell you life was much more simpler and comfortable there, actually luxury lifestyle being a colonel's daughter and a sr. manager in fortune 500 company. I chose to come here because of Daniel's commitment to the military. I like it here but I am not ecstatic like most 1st world country people seem to believe. We both would settle down in India in a heartbeat but for the commitments here. I love my country but I do not sit here all day thinking of all the things negative about America. Thats why it just makes me wonder when people have easy and effortless immigration journeys to be with their loved ones, why can't they just respect their own decisions and stop comparing all the time.

I am referring to things that have occurred over the last few decades, not hundreds of years ago. If I was, I would start by referring to the atrocities committed to my own people at the hands of Islamic conquerors. Which might I add, occurred during the exact same time of US slavery. And we all know how much you guys still beat on about that like it occurred yesterday.

I just do not understand why she has to step in and get them sites to meet Americans. They can do it themselves if they want to. They do have minds of their own, right? The whole 'trying to find them American boyfriends' does sound like 'I will find them love and true happiness' only in AMERICA>
Come on charles, its just a discussion. Nothing nasty has been said by anyone to anyone.

Pity and getting her out of poverty - Wrong reason to get married.
Not wanting her to go back to the poverty - Worse reason to stay married.

+2

I can't believe some of the ####### I'm reading in this thread. The OP loses all credibility to discuss others' comments written in "terribly" English, with their own disregard for correct grammar and proper use of punctuation. A person's age goes up by one each year, no more no less. Has anyone ever been able to sponsor their entire village with an approved I-864 before they get a green card? And isn't this a family based immigration community? As far as English being a requirement for immigration, how can we ask that of potential immigrants when we don't hold our own citizens to that standard. Sachinky, not every immigrant comes from a country where English is spoken, or have had the opportunity to go to college in the US. This is a nation of immigrants, even the American Indians were immigrants at one time. So unless you are from the Greater Rift Valley in Africa where it is believed the human species originated, your ancestors immigrated from somewhere else.

Look, theres a black cat. Hope he doesn't get run over by somebody who thinks they are bad omen.

I am sorry that you had to go through the embarassment but I think you did not take much advice from the posters here who took the time out of their day to give you some helpful suggestions like using a pad. How difficult would that have been? I guess its a bit late for that now. Hopefully you will get some and use them too till you have the surgery. Good Luck!

Most successful relationships you see here on VJ are based on mutual love and respect. Hubby and I have not had to deal with unreasonable financial demands except once from our 15 month old son (did not give in coz it was unreasonable). I earned more than what Daniel made when I moved here and knew that I will not be working for some time. We just had to change our lifestyle (both of us) to live within our budget. It was a little hard for me a couple of times to not have the kind of money I was used to but I am not a child and understand how hard Daniel works to keep us happy. I would any day give up anything for him than to put pressure on him for sometihng I can't get for myself. If she does not understand the concept of marriage and equal partnership there is very little you can do except treat her like we treat our 15 month old for unreasonable demands but is that really a marriage for life?

Financial co-mingling is a BIG thing and plays a BIG part in convincing the IO if a relationship is genuine or not. Jointly filed taxes, life, health, car insurances (joint), living will/ testaments etc show that you are in a relationship where you are sharing finances and lives and not just sharing a roof over your heads.
Reading your posts, I have to say, the IO did his job. You had nothing to show at the interview. Love and emotions is not what they are looking for. They want documents. Get in touch with an immigration attorney quick and take the immigration a little more seriously now. Good Luck!

OP is in the military and stationed in Japan so the situation is different from a normal K1 process.
To the OP, call the USCIS military helpline at 1-877-CIS-4MIL and ask what applies to you and fiancee in this situation.

Daniel's grandpa (he is the only family he has) never talked to me before I came here. The first time I met him though at their house, he seemed to relax and talked a lot with me. He had never had much interaction with an Indian before so he did not know how to start a conversation. We came home and he called us and told me to not call him by name but to call him grandpa. That was really sweet. Since then he calls us a lot more that he ever called D. He loves me and will even complain about Daniel to me. I get all the long stories, conversations, invitations, advices too. Why I am telling you this is because maybe they have not met you yet and are a little apprehensive. Don't sweat it too much. Once you are here, it might change. Although, I would suggest talking to your husband about it and finding out if its only apprehension about talking or are they not happy about your marriage. Prepare yourself accordingly. Get your husband to understand how you feel and that you want to have good relations with your inlaws but if it does not happen then he needs to be by your side and support you. Good Luck!