TBoneTX

Our Official Weekly and Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Jokes are known to dislodge approvals*, engender positive news*, and cause everyone to laugh until milk (or beer) comes out your nose. Accordingly, here is Wednesday's Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: *that is, if correlation = causation ======================================================= TOO MUCH ALIKE A depressed blonde, very down on herself, walked into a bar. The bartender asked, "What's the matter?" Nearly in tears, the blonde replied, "Well, I have these two horses, and I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up their riding times or even feeding them the right foods." The bartender, feeling sorry for the blonde, suggested, "Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?" The blonde brightened up and said, "That sounds like a good idea. I think I'll try it." A few months later, she returned to the bar in worse condition than she was before. "What's the matter now?" asked the bartender. The blonde tearfully said, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses, but it grew back, and I can't tell them apart again." The bartender, now just wanting her to shut up or leave, says, "Why don't you try shaving the mane? Maybe that won't grow back." The blonde stopped crying, had a few drinks, and left. A few months later, she was back in the bar. The bartender had never seen anybody in this sorry of a state. Without being asked, the blonde spoke of her problems. "I... I shaved the mane of one of the horses, and... it... it grew back!" The bartender, now furious at the blonde's general stupidity, yelled, "For crying out loud, just measure the stupid horses. Maybe one is slightly taller than the other one!" The blonde couldn't believe what the bartender had said, and she stormed out of the bar. The next day, she came running back into the bar as though she had just won the lottery. "It worked, it worked!" she exclaimed. "I measured the horses, and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!"

That's what we're here for. We hope that things eventuate his way and that he doesn't get hosed in the slightest. Please do!

Thrilling Tuesday report, see man: Mini-B. in better mood, finally man. Enjoyed new breakfast of Costco "chicken melts*," ingest wee man. *bought on sale, financially savvy we man As expected, Uncle T-B. called to cancel all the day's activities, bet money on it man. Uncle T-B. claimed illness, stomach issues man. Mama T-B. told us later that Uncle T-B. was at both breakfast & lunch, social senior he man. One of his amigos was heard to say, "I've not seen Uncle T-B. look that good for a long time, no man!" sigh man. Mama T-B. yet again told us, "Welcome to my world, si and sigh and man!" For lunch, Mini-B. consumed 2 PB&J sandwiches, ingest wee man. For lunch, we consumed 2 corn dogs, ingest we man. Mini-B. obviously wants to be more independent, up-growing wee man. He still blames us for his haircut, despite best efforts of us, ex-Mrs.-T-B., & Mama T-B., sigh man. Din-din was Many (2x2x2 +2+1) cheese/chicken taquitos from Costco, ingest Two Guys man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. came over to deliver an NBA-sanctioned hoodie to Mini-B., premium price man. Mini-B. said, "See, Dad, what you can get me when you actually spend money, huh man?" sigh man. It will be a long discussion and process to talk about re$pon$ibility, ex-Mrs.-T-B. has none man. Not only is ex-Mrs.-T-B. "buying off" MIni-B., but ex-she man is poisoning him, sigh man. Party with the rubias is under way, must re-cavort we man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DoorDash Now Offering Pickle Jar Opening Service For Single Women SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The burgeoning food and grocery delivery market is setting its sights on a lucrative niche as DoorDash has announced its new pickle jar-opening service for single women. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/doordash-now-offering-pickle-jar-opening-service-for-single-women

Weather Channel Invites Biden For Interview After Hearing How Much He Loves To Discuss The Weather [...] President Biden made headlines recently after it was claimed that his interactions with foreign governments and business leaders involved in deals with his son, Hunter, were limited to talking about the weather. This news immediately piqued the interest of executives at The Weather Channel, who believed getting Biden on the air for an interview would be a major coup. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/weather-channel-invites-biden-for-interview-after-hearing-how-much-he-loves-to-discuss-the-weather

Megan Rapinoe Gets New Job With Galactic Empire Training Stormtroopers To Shoot [...] "She's the perfect fit for the job," said General Cassio Tagge of the move. "The Empire has carried on a long tradition of poor marksmanship. It is one of the bedrocks of everything we have built in the galaxy. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/galactic-empire-recruits-megan-rapinoe-to-train-stormtroopers-to-shoot

From this standpoint alone, it would seem that the College itself should have to bear the burden of its actions.

And even further to the above: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A New Day, a New Type of Election Fraud [...] Fractal can, with a single click, show every simultaneous registration in every data set, for any state, dating back to its first digital data. One more click tells if they voted twice. We apply this in any state. Results appear in three seconds! We found, for instance, dupe registrations all over Michigan and Wisconsin. In Wisconsin, not only did we find 187,000 apparently duplicate registrations, we testified to their legislature about how their election commission inserted hidden codes into voter ID numbers. [...] https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2023/08/a_new_day_a_new_type_of_election_fraud_.html

Getting it gooder and harder in the San Francisco Bay Area [...] When we talk about a broken political system, it may be that people who are unable to change their voting patterns no matter what happens to them, even if they are driven out of their cities or terrified of going out at night, may be what makes it broken. [...] https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2023/08/getting_it_gooder_and_harder_in_the_san_francisco_bay_area.html

Further to the cowardice of the above: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Did Trump Know Election Fraud was a Lie? As a general rule, a prosecutor can't establish criminality unless he demonstrates criminal intent. For that reason, Special Counsel Jack Smith is trying to establish that President Trump knew for a fact that he had lost the election. I have a problem with Smith's reasoning because, to this day, I am certain that Trump did not lose the election. Here is some of the evidence. [...] https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2023/08/did_trump_know_election_fraud_was_a_lie.html

Weasel indeed. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mike Pence admits he believes that he could have stayed the Senate count [...] Pence [...] admitted that he could have rejected the electors on January 6, 2020, which would have turned the matter over to the House of Representatives (AKA the people's house), but did not do so because he feared "chaos" (which I take to mean he was afraid of what leftists would do [...] https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2023/08/mike_pence_admits_he_believes_that_he_could_have_stayed_the_senate_count.html

Marine Who Survived Kabul Suicide Bombing Speaks Out About Odd and Insulting Meeting With Joe Biden [...] Throughout the interview, the Marine's demeanor and tone aren't ambiguous. He obviously felt that Joe Biden was not only just going through the motions in meeting with him, but that he was doing so in a way that was actively insulting. According to Vargas-Andrews, there was no apology or show of empathy, with the president choosing to talk about Beau Biden for most of the short-lived conversation. [...] https://redstate.com/bonchie/2023/08/08/marine-who-survived-kabul-suicide-bombing-speaks-out-about-odd-and-insulting-meeting-with-joe-biden-n789282

Biden Trip to the Grand Canyon: Endangering National Security, Mixed With Hypocrisy, Confusion [...] He also spoke about how he was going to designate a new national monument. The Baaj Nwaavjo I’tah Kukveni monument will be nearly as large as the national park itself, with almost a million acres. Except that's a huge expanse of land, and it's cutting off access from land even 40 miles away from the Grand Canyon. Listen, as a rancher explains how expansive and amorphous this all is. [...] https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2023/08/08/biden-trip-to-the-grand-canyon-endangering-national-security-mixed-with-hypocrisy-confusion-n789570

Unbelievable... or, sadly, all too believable. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Shameless Biden Has Given $2.35 Billion to Ruthless Taliban in Aftermath of Disastrous Afghanistan Withdrawal [...] in the nearly two years since Biden's catastrophic withdrawal, the most inept president in U.S. history has given the Taliban — a brutal Islamist-extremist terrorist group — roughly 2.3 billion U.S. taxpayer dollars. Needless to say, the U.S. stands as Taliban-controlled Afghanistan's top patron. [...] https://redstate.com/mike_miller/2023/08/08/shameless-biden-has-given-2-35-billion-to-ruthless-taliban-in-aftermath-of-disastrous-afghanistan-withdrawal-n789485

Oberlin College Can't Get Insurance Companies to Reimburse It for Libel Payout https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/rick-moran/2023/08/08/oberlin-college-cant-get-insurance-companies-to-reimburse-it-for-libel-payout-n1717156

Huge Shakeup: DeSantis Boots Campaign Manager as Poll Numbers Plummet Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-Fla.) has booted his presidential campaign manager as his poll numbers on both state and national surveys continue to drop [...] https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/michaelcantrell/2023/08/08/huge-shakeup-desantis-boots-campaign-manager-as-poll-numbers-plummet-n1717276

Law and Disorder: Legal Migrants Protest Illegal Aliens Living in Brooklyn Park Woke New York City Mayor Eric Adams (D) has caused perfectly understandable anger as illegal aliens flood into his "sanctuary city." Legal immigrants to the U.S. are so upset that they staged protests at a Brooklyn Park that has turned into a migrant camp. [...] https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/catherinesalgado/2023/08/07/law-and-disorder-legal-migrants-protest-illegal-aliens-living-in-brooklyn-park-n1717034

Skid row: Anheuser-Busch now selling off craft brands https://hotair.com/tree-hugging-sister/2023/08/08/skid-row-anheuser-busch-now-selling-off-craft-brands-n569930

SOURCES: Joe Biden Knows Who Brought Cocaine to White House https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/matt-margolis/2023/08/08/sources-joe-biden-knows-who-brought-cocaine-to-white-house-n1717411

Mass Gov: I'll declare a state of shelter emergency [...] Rather than addressing illegal aliens, the state was simply affirming the right of its own residents to have shelter available. But the law wasn't limited to those with legal residence in the state, so now illegal migrants have been benefitting from those rules as well. [...] https://hotair.com/jazz-shaw/2023/08/08/mass-gov-ill-declare-a-state-of-shelter-emergency-n569772

FBI agent caught lying under oath about Hunter's laptop [...] previous testimony given under oath by an FBI agent regarding the original laptop story has been directly contradicted by internal documents from Facebook [...] https://hotair.com/jazz-shaw/2023/08/08/fbi-agent-caught-lying-under-oath-about-hunters-laptop-n569790

Wave "goodbye" to Niger - Victoria Nuland was there Yeah, Biden and his crackhead team of diplomats are pretty damn close to blowing another one. So with the continent of Africa teetering on edge – a potential realignment to Russia, not to mention throwing away a shot at bolstering Europe's energy independence – what did they do in their panic... well, once they woke up? [...] https://hotair.com/tree-hugging-sister/2023/08/08/wave-goodbye-to-niger-victoria-nuland-was-there-n569891

Interesting opinion. Comments? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Does DeSantis Know What Time It Is? Didn't Sound Like It In That NBC Interview The 2024 GOP primary season has only just begun, and already Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis seems to have lost his way, unable to articulate a clear position on the most important issue of the primaries, which is what happened in 2020. [...] https://thefederalist.com/2023/08/08/does-desantis-know-what-time-it-is-didnt-sound-like-it-in-that-nbc-interview/

This is why a DNA test would be important. But I think that he should let her "stew" without giving her the slightest ammunition.

I'd like to see Tulsi Gabbard as Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, or as Secretary of Defense. This garbage would diminish in a real hurry.