TracyTN

This post must be the one you're referring to. I don't think payxibka was being rude, just being straight-up with you. And I'm also not trying to be rude here, but the question you asked (when can my K1 recipient start working) is, if not the number one question on Visa Journey, then certainly in the top 5. You said you searched and read, but obviously not very much. A simple search, reading the guides, or just trolling the forums would have answered this question within minutes. Given the question, it's my opinion that you were treated exceptionally kindly.
I also want to point out that you weren't treated as rudely as you think. I agree that we need to remember there are real people behind the keyboards here, but there are two sides to that coin. Everyone here has a limited amount of personal bandwidth, so people looking for answers need to be a little more proactive before wasting everyone's time by asking a question that's been asked and answered a zillion times before. If your question was handled a little tersely, well...there's a reason. But also recognize that asking dumb questions and getting slapped around a little bit is just part of the process. Don't take it personal. Live and learn, and before you have your first heart you'll be slapping others around just like a pro. It's why we're here. To slap.

Do you have any evidence for this theory? I've just never heard it put quite so vehemently before.
Adding each other to accounts at this point doesn't really overcome any predjudice about comingling finances, does it?
However, they can both send in copies of their bank statements, showing that they have the same permanent address. There are lots of other types of evidence that show they reside in the same place etc, share social ties together (we sent copies of our Costco cards) and have other kinds of commitments to each other.
If they don't have the financial evidence, manufacturing it at this time might have the opposite effect as intended. However, there's a lot more they could show that people who do NOT live in relationship together wouldn't be able to pull together.
OP, you should probably also re-send everything you've already sent. There was a post recently from someone with the same RFE here: http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=660678

It is frustrating no doubt. Especially after waiting all these months. Try to search around the house for joint stuff in your names. Quite frankly, the evidence you sent does very little to show "FINANCIAL" co-mingling. USCIS wants to see you both using/saving/investing your as a couple. Joint Credit and checking accounts carry the most weight.

You're welcome!
Actually, I did too. I was so scared, at first, of being lambasted for asking a stupid question that I did take the time and trouble to read the guides. I joined a bit later than you, probably a short time before you took a break from the BS. I don't think it's a failing at all to want people to use the board in its entirety and to its potential. The guides, FAQs, timelines and such are such a valuable source of information and new users should definitely be guided there. I totally agree with all your points about reading and then asking questions.
My annoyance is not with those who are experienced and generally constructive about pointing people in the right direction. My pet peeve is with those personalities who take on an expert, negative and impatient tone with anyone below them in the immigration food chain and also get defensive with those who may well be qualified to correct them on the quality of their information.
As a point of interest, whenever I've had a complicated question to ask it has usually been better served on some of the other immigration boards, which tend to be less judgemental and where many of the good people from VJ took a break from the BS.

What proof or residency and work eligiblity did you provide for the I9? What documents?
Please be very specific so I can help you.

Thanks!
I do get your point - about 'cutting your teeth' on such things. I suppose my frustration is partially due to having been around here for such a long time.
But at the same time, I was also a noob at one point -- and I took the time and trouble to use the materials that were painstakingly created for just that purpose (guides, flowcharts, 'know your options', FAQs, etc). Not only did I think I should - just so I would understand exactly what the process entailed - but also because they were obviously placed there to lead me in the right direction.
I suppose my 'failing' is I expect/want others to do the same thing I did, esp. as it only took me maybe a few hours of reading before I understood what was what and which option made the most sense for us at the time. Isn't it always better to come from a semi educated place and THEN ask questions? Maybe I'm too self reliant for my own good though.
*edited for clarity*

Thanks!
I do get your point - about 'cutting your teeth' on such things. I suppose my frustration is partially due to having been around here for such a long time.
But at the same time, I was also a noob at one point -- and I took the time and trouble to use the materials that were painstakingly created for just that purpose (guides, flowcharts, 'know your options', FAQs, etc). Not only did I think I should - just so I would understand exactly what the process entailed - but also because they were obviously placed there to lead me in the right direction.
I suppose my 'failing' is I expect/want others to do the same thing I did, esp. as it only took me maybe a few hours of reading before I understood what was what and which option made the most sense for us at the time. Isn't it always better to come from a semi educated place and THEN ask questions? Maybe I'm too self reliant for my own good though.
*edited for clarity*

Pot meet kettle. So was your blatant name calling.

And then there are posts like this. SO helpful, so pertinent to the discussion at hand. Somebody PLEASE just give everybody max hearts and be done with it.

You know what really grinds my gears, ppl who come on here asking for advice abt their jacked-up realtionships, then get mad at you for giving advice on the truth... If you didnt wanna hear the truth, then dont post in a forum, Pm someone in private...

If your husband doesn't want a cellmate called BUBBA, he better stop playing with uncle Sam's money and file those taxes. It will be better for him now than to wait and have the IRS knock on your door.
Remember the saying. Rain, Death and Taxes are part of life and there's no hiding from that.

This topic comes up time and again, and it always makes me chuckle cos it's the same old same old.
At the end of the day, this is a member driven site. And I've read various sites that would give 'rude' a new definition. I don't think we need to mollycoddle n00bs...if they ask a stupid q, or don't read the guides, or don't read the pinned topics, etc...then they're kinda asking for it imo. Don't come here expecting to be spoon-fed your petition from start to finish.
Would you rather the 'vets' didn't answer q's? *shrug*
I say, suck it up, put it in perspective, and all will be fine.

If you are sending and receiving immigration advice via pm, you are not only doing it wrong but you're exposing yourself to a lot of risk. The great thing about these forums is that if somebody puts something out there that's incorrect, it's very likely to be corrected by somebody else, often within minutes. If you get that same info via pm, then you lose that.
I agree that there are some pretty rude people out there who are rude for no other reason than to just be condescending jerks. (*cough*pushbrk*cough*) I don't know why this is, possibly they're trying to compensate for their own shortcomings.
Then there are those of us (and I include myself) who are rude to specific individuals for a number of different reasons. People handing out immigration advice who have no business handing out advice is one of my pet peeves, for instance, and it's been my experience that if you try to correct them nicely, they just keep doing what they're doing, often telling you to stfu. So rudeness seems to be the only thing that gets through to these people.
The other kind of person I don't mind being rude to is the type of person who judges somebody else's situation or relationship, rather than provide help. The "your fiancee was stupid and selfish for overstaying her visa for 30 days so you'll just have to live with the consequences" type crowd. These people deserve ridicule and scorn.
You also deserve ridicule and scorn if you ever once post a variation of "that's easy for you to say, your spouse is already in the states with you." Seriously, people who post that need to die of cancer in a fire. Because all it does is drive away the experts who have gone through this process and have sometimes years of experience that could be beneficial. Just because somebody went through this a year ago, 5 years ago, or whatever, doesn't mean they don't know what you're going through. Listen to their advice or not, but don't dismiss their experiences as irrelevant just because they're on the other side of the line.
Last point: sometimes people come across as rude when they don't mean to be. It's either just the way they are, or that they're skipping the niceties to get to their point. Emotions and attitude are hard to convey in text, even with VJ's cornucopia of emoticons. Give people the benefit of the doubt first, unless it's completely obvious.

Don't forget about the original 864, unless he met any of the requirements to it being no longer in force, you will need to count him on your future 864 for the new guy.
Looking at your timelines you posted, I'm thinking it's still in force.

I didn't list my family (by this, I assume you mean maiden) name anywhere on my husband's I 751. I used my married name everywhere, including how I signed the form.

An immediate relative such as a spouse or fiance of an American citizen does not need to wait for a priority date. You can get more info here:
http://travel.state....types_1306.html
"Preference Immigration: A system for determining which and when people can immigrate to the U.S. within the limits of immigration set by Congress. In family immigration preference is based on the status of the petitioner (American citizen or lawful permanent resident) and his/her relationship to the applicant. "
Immediate Relatives of U.S. Citizens (IR): These types of immigrant visas are based on a close family relationship with a U.S. citizen, including spouses, children, and parents. Additionally, a U.S. citizen can sponsor a child adopted or to be adopted from abroad, if that child meets the definition of orphan as provided for in immigration law. Family members of United States citizens (not Legal Permanent Residents) can file Immediate Relative Petitions. For immigration purposes, Immediate Relative classifications include:

Spouse of a U.S. Citizen (IR-1) Learn More Unmarried Child Under 21 Years of Age of a U.S. Citizen (IR-2) Orphan adopted abroad by a U.S. Citizen (IR-3) Learn More Orphan to be adopted in the United States by a U.S. citizen (IR-4) Learn More Parent of a U.S. Citizen who is at least 21 years old (IR-5) AS for the wait time. It is all dependent on many different things. However i would not panic. USCIS states on their site it is still an average of 5 months for an approval. Some people have recently gotten record time approvals however that is not always the case, as each petition is different and cannot be abjudicated the same way or in the same time frame.

Ryanair only allows passports and National ID Cards. However, National ID Cards aren't available in Northern Ireland yet, so my fiance couldn't get one if he wanted.
Many carriers, like Easyjet, allow other forms of ID like a driver's license. So my advice to anyone booking a flight for the interview is check the airline's website to see what identification documents they accept.

No issues, unless you count that immigrant would be out of status for the 4 to 5 months you hold off doing the AOS, which means you could have issues with ICE.
Also, this time will count against the immigrant as overstay, go over 180+ days, and you may suffer a ban if you attempt to re-enter the US after leaving (even with the AP) - so you would be basically stuck in the US till you have your greencard.
Also, the immigrant will not be able to work till the EAD/GC is in hand. Delaying the AOS will delay this from happening.
Finally, it will also delay the time the immigrant can apply for USC.
There a few posts here where individuals that delayed the AOS had issues with ICE, were detained, and ended up spending more money to defend themselves, but that is a chance you take in delaying the AOS - no one can tell you for sure if you will have issues with ICE or not, so going just by the rules,
I would strongly recommend that you borrow the money and get the AOS done and in hand sooner than later, but I'm kinda crazy that way...
(here is a quick post I found where the person had big issues waiting - VJ )

Yes, you can honeymoon in a US territory without your fiance having advanced parole. Just make sure you do not take any sort of a cruise where you might (even accidentally) leave the soil of the territory.