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NoMansLand2020

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  1. Confused
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from little immigrant in Step child adoption   
    Who has successfully adopted their Filipino step children? What was the process that you followed and how complicated was it? 
     
    My spouse has two children whom she had with an ex boyfriend in the Philippines. They were never married. The biological father has not been in the picture for 4+ years. He pretty much abandoned the kids. 
     
    One child's birth certificate lists him as the father. My spouse has no idea where he would be nor how to contact him. 
     
    I spoke to an attorney today and he said the father would have to give up his rights and that we would most likely have to go to the Philippines to serve him. But since he is not familiar with the laws of the Philippines he cannot offer much help. He further said it would be an international adoption and that I am  looking at upwards of 25k to adopt each one. 
     
    None of this makes sense to me. Why would my step children who have lived in the US with me and their mother for over a year be considered as an international adoption?  I further thought that single Filipino mothers have sole custody of their illegitimate children. And furthermore understood that parents who have abandoned their children have relinquished their parental rights. 
  2. Confused
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Crazy Cat in Step child adoption   
    Who has successfully adopted their Filipino step children? What was the process that you followed and how complicated was it? 
     
    My spouse has two children whom she had with an ex boyfriend in the Philippines. They were never married. The biological father has not been in the picture for 4+ years. He pretty much abandoned the kids. 
     
    One child's birth certificate lists him as the father. My spouse has no idea where he would be nor how to contact him. 
     
    I spoke to an attorney today and he said the father would have to give up his rights and that we would most likely have to go to the Philippines to serve him. But since he is not familiar with the laws of the Philippines he cannot offer much help. He further said it would be an international adoption and that I am  looking at upwards of 25k to adopt each one. 
     
    None of this makes sense to me. Why would my step children who have lived in the US with me and their mother for over a year be considered as an international adoption?  I further thought that single Filipino mothers have sole custody of their illegitimate children. And furthermore understood that parents who have abandoned their children have relinquished their parental rights. 
  3. Confused
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Mike E in Step child adoption   
    Who has successfully adopted their Filipino step children? What was the process that you followed and how complicated was it? 
     
    My spouse has two children whom she had with an ex boyfriend in the Philippines. They were never married. The biological father has not been in the picture for 4+ years. He pretty much abandoned the kids. 
     
    One child's birth certificate lists him as the father. My spouse has no idea where he would be nor how to contact him. 
     
    I spoke to an attorney today and he said the father would have to give up his rights and that we would most likely have to go to the Philippines to serve him. But since he is not familiar with the laws of the Philippines he cannot offer much help. He further said it would be an international adoption and that I am  looking at upwards of 25k to adopt each one. 
     
    None of this makes sense to me. Why would my step children who have lived in the US with me and their mother for over a year be considered as an international adoption?  I further thought that single Filipino mothers have sole custody of their illegitimate children. And furthermore understood that parents who have abandoned their children have relinquished their parental rights. 
  4. Confused
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from SalishSea in Step child adoption   
    Who has successfully adopted their Filipino step children? What was the process that you followed and how complicated was it? 
     
    My spouse has two children whom she had with an ex boyfriend in the Philippines. They were never married. The biological father has not been in the picture for 4+ years. He pretty much abandoned the kids. 
     
    One child's birth certificate lists him as the father. My spouse has no idea where he would be nor how to contact him. 
     
    I spoke to an attorney today and he said the father would have to give up his rights and that we would most likely have to go to the Philippines to serve him. But since he is not familiar with the laws of the Philippines he cannot offer much help. He further said it would be an international adoption and that I am  looking at upwards of 25k to adopt each one. 
     
    None of this makes sense to me. Why would my step children who have lived in the US with me and their mother for over a year be considered as an international adoption?  I further thought that single Filipino mothers have sole custody of their illegitimate children. And furthermore understood that parents who have abandoned their children have relinquished their parental rights. 
  5. Confused
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Boiler in Step child adoption   
    Who has successfully adopted their Filipino step children? What was the process that you followed and how complicated was it? 
     
    My spouse has two children whom she had with an ex boyfriend in the Philippines. They were never married. The biological father has not been in the picture for 4+ years. He pretty much abandoned the kids. 
     
    One child's birth certificate lists him as the father. My spouse has no idea where he would be nor how to contact him. 
     
    I spoke to an attorney today and he said the father would have to give up his rights and that we would most likely have to go to the Philippines to serve him. But since he is not familiar with the laws of the Philippines he cannot offer much help. He further said it would be an international adoption and that I am  looking at upwards of 25k to adopt each one. 
     
    None of this makes sense to me. Why would my step children who have lived in the US with me and their mother for over a year be considered as an international adoption?  I further thought that single Filipino mothers have sole custody of their illegitimate children. And furthermore understood that parents who have abandoned their children have relinquished their parental rights. 
  6. Sad
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Boiler in Divorce and children   
    That's hogwash. She could lie 100%. And blame me for everything. She has no proof of anything. 
  7. Confused
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Lemonslice in Divorce and children   
    That's hogwash. She could lie 100%. And blame me for everything. She has no proof of anything. 
  8. Haha
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Redro in Divorce and children   
    That's hogwash. She could lie 100%. And blame me for everything. She has no proof of anything. 
  9. Haha
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from OldUser in Divorce and children   
    That's hogwash. She could lie 100%. And blame me for everything. She has no proof of anything. 
  10. Sad
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Boiler in Divorce and children   
    And how will they be able to corroborate her story? Otherwise anyone could claim VAWA. 
  11. Confused
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Lemonslice in Divorce and children   
    Not when she says she's only married me out of pity and that she would divorce me as soon as she gets her GC. 
     
    Not to mention that she's got a temper and has thrown things around the house, especially when I was holding a 2 month old baby. I may have punched her in the shoulder a year ago, but she also stuck her hand in my face while I was driving and nearly caused me to hit some pedestrians. 
     
     
  12. Confused
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Lemonslice in Divorce and children   
    I don't want to have to fork over any assets or monies. Especially if she married me out of pity. We don't have any joint assets. She's not on any titles. I'd be more than happy to pay for her to get home and maybe a few thousand to help out until she's able to get going. Because she's going back to nothing. No house, no job. 
     
    Since I'm not a legal parent to the older two kids, ages 7 and 9, I don't feel responsible for child support. We've only been married 1 year this month. I sure hope she wouldn't be allowed to take our 3 month old. Those kids would go back to absolutely nothing... No stability, no friends, poor education and poor health care. 
  13. Haha
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Mike E in Divorce and children   
    I don't want to have to fork over any assets or monies. Especially if she married me out of pity. We don't have any joint assets. She's not on any titles. I'd be more than happy to pay for her to get home and maybe a few thousand to help out until she's able to get going. Because she's going back to nothing. No house, no job. 
     
    Since I'm not a legal parent to the older two kids, ages 7 and 9, I don't feel responsible for child support. We've only been married 1 year this month. I sure hope she wouldn't be allowed to take our 3 month old. Those kids would go back to absolutely nothing... No stability, no friends, poor education and poor health care. 
  14. Confused
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Lemonslice in Divorce and children   
    Can I withdraw the petitions, but forego filing for divorce? Am I legally required to divorce her? 
  15. Sad
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Redro in Divorce and children   
    If I withdraw her petition and now the kids' what happens in that situation? I haven't adopted them and she said she wouldn't let me until she received her GC. 
     
    I love the kids, and I don't want to lose them. But I don't know if I can continue with the marriage. I don't want to be vindictive either. She's told me many times that she married me out of pity. 
     
    How does divorce work if she goes back to the Philippines if the petition is withdrawn?  Will the courts still require me to send her alimony and assets like retirement and property? 
  16. Thanks
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Lemonslice in Divorce and children   
    Nothing like this, no. But she has thrown things around when we were arguing. I was holding the baby a month and she got upset and threw a TV table tray in my direction. 
  17. Like
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from RO_AH in Newly married and already issues   
    This is a joint account. I only blocked the card because she took off and we had no idea where she was for over 36 hours. She pretty much abandoned the kids without telling them where she was at. We waited in the park for 10 hours for her to come back and finally had to leave when the park closed. She could have been with anyone who migh have been trying to use or take advantage of her. Also because she was upset and distraught and not emotionally in a good place, she could easily have drained our account. 
  18. Confused
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Lemonslice in Newly married and already issues   
    She has no identification on her for one. So they wouldn't have helped her. The bank only has a couple of branches in the area and I doubt she would remember what bank it was especially with it being a local credit union. 
  19. Confused
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Lemonslice in Newly married and already issues   
    This is a joint account. I only blocked the card because she took off and we had no idea where she was for over 36 hours. She pretty much abandoned the kids without telling them where she was at. We waited in the park for 10 hours for her to come back and finally had to leave when the park closed. She could have been with anyone who migh have been trying to use or take advantage of her. Also because she was upset and distraught and not emotionally in a good place, she could easily have drained our account. 
  20. Sad
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Redro in Newly married and already issues   
    She feels some trust with my mother. And has opened up to her on several occasions. She told my mother yesterday that she would try to give me a second chance, but if I hit her again it would be over. 
     
    I messaged my wife bcak in regards to her debit card being blocked. That we had no idea where or who she was with and that I did not want her to be taken advantage of. I told her that I was in the wrong for hitting her. That there should never be a reason to hit anyone and that it wouldn't happen again. I told her that I would immediately enroll in an anger management program so that I could learn how to deal with my frustrations in a controlled manner. 
     
    She said she would forgive me if I acknowledged that I hit her other arm which I did and said again there was no excuse for my actions. And that as mentioned above it wouldn't happen again and that I would go to counseling. 
     
    She asked how could she know it wouldn't happen again. I responded that I knew that I would lose the most important thing in my life which was my her and the kids. She didn't respond to that.  But responded this morning that she has decided to get a separation and that I need to turn on her debit card so she can pay rent and food as per her, I am responsible for that. 
     
    I have yet to respond to this request. I think we both need to sit down and talk about things. Especially with the kids and baby on the way. Text messages don't resolve issues. 
  21. Thanks
    NoMansLand2020 reacted to LexieJ in Newly married and already issues   
    This is really sad and disheartening situation,  from previous posts from OP this lady had so much red flags but the OP still decided to pursue with the  visa process and now he is stuck in this situation that could potentially land him in "criminal charges(DV)" and more mess in his hands. This is a BIG "WE TOLD YOU SO" type of situation. We hope that this resolves in his favor and will serve as a big lesson for him and others who will be in the same boat in the future, 
          As a Filipina myself people like this give us decent Pinays a bad name and reputation, I hope she does the right thing and just go home and resolve this with no further complications for her and the OP. 
  22. Like
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Family in Newly married and already issues   
    Pushing her away or hitting her so she will get off me so I can drive safely is not abuse. 
  23. Like
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from RO_AH in Newly married and already issues   
    She's already telling me she wants to go back.
  24. Like
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from Crazy Cat in Newly married and already issues   
    She's already telling me she wants to go back.
  25. Haha
    NoMansLand2020 got a reaction from jskibo in Newly married and already issues   
    I will not if she decides to take off. She needs to come back and discuss things. We would benefit from seeing a marriage counselor and figuring things out. But if she's done, she's on her own. 
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