SCOREAU

2 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

So I take it you don't think debts need to be repaid?

Anyway, I've made my decision. Thank you for the responses. They helped me greatly. You are all good people.

3 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

How would she be "suffering financially" if she were required to pay off a debt that she BORROWED willingly for her own education?!  I guess I'm suffering financially by being expected to pay off my mortgage, but yet I continue to do so......

4 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

How would she be "suffering financially" if she were required to pay off a debt that she BORROWED willingly for her own education?!  I guess I'm suffering financially by being expected to pay off my mortgage, but yet I continue to do so......

Good for you.

13 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Why is she defaulting on her debt?  If the goal is to never pay down the money she chose to borrow, best to stay in UK.

Why walk back into a lion's den?

Just now, SCOREAU said:

No, you have it all wrong. I want what is best for my wife and daughter. Here, we have a good life, and I am loath to jeopardise that. I think my daughter will be better off here. Yes, family over there but they managed without us, and will continue to do so. I have a son , mother, grandchildren and they would cope without me. This is about my wife and daughter not suffering financially - and me.

Here we have healthcare, money, property and no financial worries. If that is considered immaterial, and visiting family with their own lives is paramount, then I might have my priorities skewed.....It seems.

3 minutes ago, JFH said:

Hmmm I really don’t like this “giving up everything” talk. I hear it a lot here like you are making a huge sacrifice. You’re not giving up everything. You’re gaining everything. You’re gaining a life together with the person you live more than anyone else in the world. That’s the most wonderful gain. It’s for your happiness too. If you think you are making a sacrifice going into the marriage or into a chapter of married life, then something is wrong. 

No, you have it all wrong. I want what is best for my wife and daughter. Here, we have a good life, and I am loath to jeopardise that. I think my daughter will be better off here. Yes, family over there but they managed without us, and will continue to do so. I have a son , mother, grandchildren and they would cope without me. This is about my wife and daughter not suffering financially - and me.

Just now, N-o-l-a said:

You aren't free of debt if your spouse has debt. From a legal standpoint, it isn't your debt, but as a married couple, you guys need to get on that. I paid off my husband's loans when we got married (the interest rate on them was crazy). Now, we pay off my student debt together. Who knows whose money it is when it goes into the joint checking and it doesn't matter.

 

It is also our only debt and that doesn't bother me.

 

So, you are thinking about separating then?  Explains the lack of interest in paying for loans.

No. I'm not that sort of person. I'm just thinking about a quiet retirement, rather than being saddled with debt and more woes beyond the usual ones we all experience in life.

13 minutes ago, gregcrs2 said:

OP, I think some people may be responding based on some misconception.  To clarify, your family has been living in the UK with you for the past 10 years and they are still there with you?  Do either you or your spouse have any US assets such as house?  

We are buying a cheap house off her brother, so we will have somewhere.

1 minute ago, gregcrs2 said:

The choice seems pretty obvious to me.  I would be staying in the UK.  Too many expenses to move, finding another place to live, replacing furniture, extremely expensive health care, and you may not even be happy there.  Being at early retirement age, you'd be giving up the lifetime of relationships you've developed.  If the wife is homesick, I would just let her visit her family in the USA how often she wants.  It would be much easier and less expensive then moving.

Yes. It all makes sense. I'm made to feel guilty about her being away from her family.

8 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

Me personally,   i would stay in UK 

sounds like you would be giving a lot up to come to the US / for What????

she can visit her family anytime

That's what I'm thinking, but she's adamant about moving there, with or without me if I'm not keen. Great! So I'd have to get accommodation here and support her and my daughter. Back to square 1.

1 minute ago, gregcrs2 said:

OP, I think some people may be responding based on some misconception.  To clarify, your family has been living in the UK with you for the past 10 years and they are still there with you?  Do either you or your spouse have any US assets such as house?  

No. Nothing. It's all here. She came with nothing.

2 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

not selfish if your life there is decent

everyone should see what liabilities they are getting into

i still say we should all see a credit report along with full medical and full criminal report

it is not asking too much if a person has nothing to hide

after all ,  a USC marrying another USC knows the person's job,  living arrangements and usually the family

you do not

We have a house, I have a good job. I have no criminal record. I can retire early. We can have a good life here, and it all feels like a bad choice. Okay, her family are there but if it all goes tits up, they won't be helping.

2 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

not sure how long you have been married but this should have come up when she filed US tax returns (unless she is living solely off you)

and if that is the case,  she would not be able to meet the income requirements to support the spouse visa

Thanks for replying. Married 10 years and she has permanent leave to remain in uk. Re immigration: I am being petitioned by my wife but relying solely on my assets here ( pensions, assets ). I just say mine because the house is in my name as wasn't working at time of buy and easier to not include her in buying process; that's all.

36 minutes ago, Roel said:

That's so odd. Assuming your love your spouse, you'd rather stay separately than move in and help her pay off her debt? Love these days...

It has everything to do with my retiring early, being free of debt, and providing for my wife and daughter, who is settled here anyway - and not moving to a country that, apart from having no public healthcare, would be our final life decision in terms of where we live. I'm through with debt. It's called being sensible.

37 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

you are not even if you divorce but if she passes away,  any debts must be paid from her estate 

 

you may want her to get a life insurance policy to cover these

She has nothing over there, apart from student debt and family.

In the process of applying to move to usa as the uk spouse of a us citizen who has been in uk for a decade. Am I liable for her student debt ( alot of money ) amassed before I knew of her existence.?

Quite important, as I'd rather we stay here if that's the case. Thanks.