caybee

They probably won't ask for it since he was 37 when he immigrated, but if he requests it, Selective Service will issue him a status information letter free of charge for his own records. This is not required, but it's not a bad thing to have so he can include a copy with his application for the census job or other federal jobs, student loans, etc. It's an easy way to prove that he was not required to register. He can request it here.

Wishing all the sicky babies a speedy recovery! it's sad to hear they are sick

I have a problem thinking up a boy name that sounds good in both english and Thai.. not so easy. he's also kicking me a lot today.. not so hard yet but my friend said, wait till later and it'll hurt.. is that true?

I loved the kicks -- miss them now actually, though I get plenty from the outside

Looking back, I think the lack of transportation and autonomy were the most difficult things for my husband, and if I had it to do over again, I would have made an effort to help him get his license and a car more quickly (we bought a second car, used, for less than $1900, and that made a huge difference since public transportation is essentially nonexistent here). Of course, licensing is limited by your state's rules, and we did have to wait, but he probably could have had his license a couple months earlier if we'd pushed harder for it.

We bought a free-to-air satellite system which let him catch a lot of Arabic channels for free, including 2M. That was helpful, especially in the beginning.

His parents and sibs have Internet at home, so keeping a good connection so he can talk with them with mic and cam has been crucial. He recently sent them a Magic Jack so they can reach his cell phone very cheaply also.

Most helpful have probably been his Moroccan and other Arabic-speaking friends. He met the first Moroccan when he wore his Moroccan soccer shirt to the cafe on one of his first days here. Frankly, he has needed his time out with them more than I anticipated he would, and we've BOTH had to adjust to that and make some compromises, but that goes along with the autonomy thing. He was a fully functioning adult in Morocco, and though he depended on me for so much in the beginning, he has needed the freedom to build his own life here too, at the same time learning what I need from him. Having your daughter may or may not lessen the need for other Moroccan peeps, but he may need at least SOME time out with friends occasionally anyway.

My husband didn't use this site in the beginning but reads it regularly now and has recommended it to other Moroccans who are new to the U.S. There's a "Find a Moroccan" search field toward the upper left where you can input your city or state or Moroccan city of origin and find other U.S.-based Moroccans who have registered with the site. It also has news and lists events of interest to Moroccans in the U.S.

He loves soccer, so finding out where the pick-up games were and joining in (even though he had to use sign language with the majority Spanish speakers) also made a difference in his morale from the beginning. You can often locate pick-up games or leagues online if he's into that. Hubby just joined an indoor league and enjoyed looking over to see our son "cheering" for him.

One caveat: Unfortunately, though he has met some wonderful immigrants here and has become friends with many of them, not all of them, including some Arabic-speaking ones, have had his best interests at heart. I don't know if it was because they themselves were exploited when they first arrived, but SOME immigrants have offered employment or other aid that wasn't necessarily above board or which had big strings attached. He needed time to learn who to trust, but he's much more street-smart now.

Oh yeah, food! He now likes some things he hated in the beginning. But an easy kefta tagine can go a long way in easing a homesick tummy. Lots of ideas in the pinned topic above. Speaking of which, I think I have my menu for tonight...

Good luck, and happy reunion!

I can't speak to the issues with your son because I've never been through that from either side, but I feel for you, and I hope he becomes more comfortable quickly.

As for living separately, we did that when my then-fiancé arrived at the request of my parents -- he moved into our apartment and I stayed half a mile away with my sister until the wedding. I had very mixed feelings about this, as my husband had never slept in an empty house, and here he was in a new country. But he had a cell phone from the first day, and I was at the apartment first thing in the morning and last thing at night. It caused no trouble with AOS. Living separately and going to premarital counseling were the only requests my parents made, and though we might have done things differently without their input, we don't regret it.

You know, it was actually the opposite with me. I had cans of sample formula at home and it helped me relax knowing that I had backup, should anything happen. But that was my whole approach to BFing - relax and if it happens, it happens, if not it's not a big deal. Worked for us but I guess everyone's different

Saludos,

Caro

It was sort of the same for me. I kept the samples. I gave two to my mom (asked her not to use them unless I was unconscious) and hid the rest, resolved not to touch them. I've been so afraid of throwing off his demand and losing my supply. I think hubby forgot about them because sometimes when my pumped supply ran low, he would ask if we couldn't just get some formula. My mom cracked one open the other day and dipped Rayan's paci in it, trying to calm him during a 2-hour visit (I didn't bring milk), but he didn't like the formula and still won't take a paci.

When I woke up this morning, I had rolled away from Rayan, but he had somehow followed me and latched on better than usual. I think he was nursing while he and I were both asleep.

I was sooooooooo deadset on bfing - I wasn't going to be one of those moms that gave their kids formula. Oh how things changed!!! I cannot begin to tell you how excited I was to do the breastfeeding routine. I had the boppy, bras, breast pads, lanisoh cream, teas, meds, nipple shields, medela double pump, whole medela system of bottles, I had the whole g'damn bfing toys that one could have. But what happened to me??? Fvcking tits didn't work!!! Baby didn't even want to try feeding with me. Milk hardly came in. The whole thing was a Mongolian-sized clusterfvck.

Actually, for psychological reasons, having all this sh!t around after I finally gave up made me feel like even more of a failure. It sucked balls to look at things that cost hundreds of dollars and know that I couldn't use it. I actually felt kind of like an impotent man whose peter wouldn't work with a pretty woman. When it came to my tits and breastfeeding, I was impotent.

I know you know this, but one look at Enzo shows what a great job you have done. He's healthy, happy, and just beautiful.

If you are overweight when you're pregnant, you can actually lose weight. Because I was a diabetic before I got pregnant, I had to be VIGILANT about everything I ate. Most of all, I knew that if I wasn't, I would balloon up and I couldn't afford to put on 50+ lbs. If you eat a modest 2,000 calorie-a-day diet, you will lose weight. Baby will be fine. My dr. had me do this. He wanted me to gain only 15-20 lbs. I ended up gaining 20 lbs when I was pregnant but most of it was water weight. When I had Enzo, two days after he was born I had already dropped 22 lbs. After 3 weeks, I was 10 lbs lighter than when I had gotten pregnant.

In essence, I'm not saying that you have to lose weight while pregnant, but you can be in control of your weight. Pregnancy isn't a free-for-all to eat - it actually can be quite scary as you run the risk of gestational diabetes.

I second this. I lost a couple pounds over the course of my pregnancy, and a couple weeks after delivery, I weighed about 20 pounds than my pre-pregnancy weight. I developed gestational diabetes and was on a 2000-calorie diet for the last trimester or so.

I know it made everything so much easier for me buttttt....Eman has moved on to the stage of asking why? repeatedly after every answer I give him. For example:

Him: "Mommy what are you making for breakfast?"

Me: "Pancakes, sweety"

Him: "Why do you call them pancakes?"

Me: "Because they are like cakes and they are made in a pan"

Him: "Why are they made in a pan?"

Me: "It's easier to cook them in a pan"

Him: "Why is it easier?"

and so on and so forth...lol...and this is for EVERYTHING that is said during the day...sometimes I don't have an answer and I say: I don't know and he asks me why I don't know......ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Chrissy, great news about your mom. I'm glad she's doing better.

We just have a plain diaper pail, nothing fancy, but it doesn't smell -- then again, he's still on breast milk exclusively. I know it will get worse.

Jenn, congrats on the Exersaucer We went to Target the other day to get one for Rayan, but they were sold out of the one we wanted, and we wanted to use a gift card, so we ended up getting something that looks like a frog with a center pedestal. Rayan loves it, but he has to have pants on rather than just a onesie or his fat, little legs get stuck.

I only bought a couple of sleep gowns for Rayan, and he outgrew those in about the first week. He sleeps (or HAS slept) fine in just a onesie most of the time because the weather is so mild here, but if I had it to do over again, I'd get several larger gowns.

Have to check -- I think our stroller is one of the ones on recall. But I also bought a basic umbrella stroller from Target, and he does well in that now for short distances, so I'm going to get one to keep in the other car and one to leave at my parents' house. It maneuvers so easily, and if he's restless and we're staying in one place for a while, I can rock it back on the rear wheels and swivel it back and forth, and he calms down.

Last night was another crazy one. He did pretty well until it was time for bed. It was like he was obviously very tired, but he didn't want to go to sleep and miss all the fun. I swaddled him as well as I could three times, and all three times, he burst out -- think the Incredible Hulk, including the roar. Whatever we did, he cried. He nursed, but he kept pulling off after a couple of sucks and yelling and kicking. There were no tears, and it didn't seem like a cry of discomfort or pain. It didn't seem to be related to teething either, though I did try a half-dose of Tylenol and a couple of teething tablets just in case. He frankly sounded just plain mad -- one cry sounded like a loud, angry sheep (what a thing to say, huh? ). I think he's probably just going through an adjustment because he's suddenly SO much more aware of everything around him, and he's mastering reaching out and grabbing whatever catches his eye. It's like he wants to get up and run and check out everything, but he's still grounded, and that frustrates him. He may also be going through another growth spurt. That's my guess anyway. My husband has been with me on trying to hold out for the six-month mark on the cereal, but last night even he was thinking about going ahead until I told him that if we gave it to him for the first time late at night and it disagreed with him, he'd be up all night for sure. Thankfully, he finally fell asleep around 1 am. I woke up once in the night -- we opened our eyes at the same time and looked at each other. He smiled but went immediately back to sleep, and he didn't wake up to nurse again (as far as I know) until 6 am when my alarm went off.

"The inscription JN8:12 on the Army's new gunsights is a reference to John, chapter 8, verse 12, which says: 'When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."'"

Good luck with the potty training, you all!

Vi, so glad you are having a good time back home. Poor Sofia begging to swim some more! I don't know if I ever said so, but Rayan would have been Sofie if he'd been a girl. I've always loved that name.

I have been trying to hold out on introducing rice cereal until that 6-month mark, but honestly, I don't think we'll make it. Although Rayan feeds maybe every two or three hours during the day, he has taken to cluster feeding again at night, ALL night. If I can get him to stay swaddled, I may get two straight hours of sleep, but last night, he just kept breaking out of the swaddle, and I must have been rolling a little away from him because he kept having to wake me up to latch on. He doesn't seem famished during the day, and my supply seems fine; I can still pump enough for my husband when I'm at work.

He can sit up in his booster chair, and he has good head and neck control. In fact, sometimes the only thing that will settle him is to support him or hold his hands while he stands and looks around. He mouths everything he can get his hands on, and he's very interested in whatever we're eating and reaches for it sometimes. I don't know whether he's lost that reflex to push food out of his mouth, but he seems to be giving us all the signals that he's ready. He'll be 5 1/2 months this weekend, so maybe we'll give it a try mid-day Sunday with a very thin, small amount of rice cereal and see how he handles it. I want to wait on the next step until at least his 6-month birthday.

Last night, my mom told me they started me on rice cereal when I was 4 months old, as instructed. She mixed it according to the recipe she was given, and she said it wasn't very thin. One pediatrician had recommended a bottle with a larger hole in the nipple, so they used that to feed it to me. She said I "inhaled" it and my stomach blew up, so they never did it that way again. Oh, she also told me she thinks I walked and never really crawled. It wouldn't surprise me if Rayan is the same way. He hasn't rolled at all yet (except for that aborted front-to-back roll where I got so excited that I scared my husband and he snatched Rayan up thinking something bad was happening). He does push up well, and he scoots backwards just a little, so maybe he'll crawl before long, but he loves being vertical so much that it won't surprise me if he's cruising the furniture within a couple of months.

His messy diapers are more sporadic now, and the other day he went four days without a messy one. I read this wasn't unusual for breastfed babies his age, but hubby and I kept asking each other if he'd had a messy one yet. If he had gone one more day, I would have called his doctor just to make sure, but on the fourth day, he gave us (well, me ) a really messy one, otherwise normal. Then he waited three more days. On Monday, we came home from shopping, and when I reached to get him out of his car seat upstairs, he'd had a major blowout all over his clothing. I stripped him on his changing table and wiped him down some, then carried him straight to the bathroom, tossed his tub into the big tub, and put him in his dry tub. I'd never done that before -- I'd always filled it carefully, checked the temperature carefully, put him in slowly so he wouldn't freak, poured water over him carefully. Not this time -- messy boy went straight into his tub with no complaint. Then I filled it with the hand shower at his feet, and it didn't scare him at all. The water got dirty quickly, so I drained it with him in it and started over. This time, I tried spraying the hand shower directly on his legs and tummy and the back of his head. He loved it! He cooed and kicked and splashed around. I miss my fragile, little baby, but I'm enjoying this new, more active and adventurous stage. When we took him swimming for the first time a few weeks ago, the photos from the waterproof disposable camera turned out too dark to see anything at all, which was a disappointment, but he enjoyed it, and we can't wait for beach weather. I think my mom told me I hated my baths as a baby. I'm so glad he's not the same way about water.

VJ mamas told me about getting up and walking ASAP after c-section, so I did, and I also had an easy time. Mine wasn't exactly planned, but when the induction wasn't working, my doctor recommended the c-section before it became an emergency. I think the most painful part was them pressing on my uterus the first day. Second most painful part was standing up and walking to the shower the first time. But touching baby feet is the best anesthetic in the world.

I wish they'd told me that the incision could drain suddenly after a few days though. When that happened to me after a week, I was alone with the baby and thought I was bleeding out. Scared me pretty badly.

Joined VJ just for that gem, I guess.

I think planning out meals ahead of time instead waiting until you are hungry helps a lot. Some of the tastiest meals are slow cooked (crockpot).

Agreed, and if I plan meals ahead of time, they are more likely to include veggies than if I'm scrambling at the last minute.

Not sure I agree with some of this article, but I'm going to try the trick of reversing the salad and dinner plates to help me visualize reasonable portions better.

Jaime, wow, 10 lb 15 oz! Congratulations on quick labor and natural childbirth! Tyrese is sooooo beautiful.

Vi, glad you are having so much fun in Peru!

Hello.

I got very important point and I want to discuss about this. Leaving a baby in child care is considered child abuse, and working parents are very careless for their children. It is not going good. This is very interesting posting. I just want to say that every mother who are working they should little think about that.

Thanks for posting.

And all along I thought we needed an income for stuff like baby food, diapers, heating, and rent.

It has been many, many years since I did this, and I need a refresher course, but if you're trying to make the expression undefined in the first question, shouldn't X equal either 9 or -2 instead of making x NOT equal to either of them?

I just started back to work as well. I leave for work around 8:30 and my grandma watches Adam until I come home to nurse him during my lunch hour. Then Dad watches him in the afternoon until I get home around 5:30.

It hasn't been easy, I'll admit. Especially for dad, but it's getting better. He's called me at work with Adam screaming and that's really hard to hear. I've asked him to try to not do that unless it's really necessary. I told him that it actually makes my boobs hurt if he calls me when he's crying (he thought that was so weird, LOL!). He starts to panic that something's wrong if Adam cries a bit when he gets the bottle or when he's tired. Things will get better as he figures out what works, I hope.

Adam doesn't love the bottle, so I'm pumping a lot more at work than what he's eating. I might have to get an extra freezer at some point. My grandma discovered that he seems to take the bottle much more easily if he's not held. She props him on his boppy and holds the bottle for him. Before it was taking over an hour for him to drink his little 2.5 oz bottle, now he drinks it in 15 minutes

Jenn, if I'm late getting home after work, Jamal calls and says nothing, just puts Rayan on the phone to scream in my ear. Does the trick. I think it will get easier as Wadi gains confidence and learns what works through trial and error. Jamal's in the groove now, but I know it was stressful for him in the beginning. What works for him doesn't necessarily work for me, and vice versa.

My coworker told me she used to get a let-down if she was out in public and heard someone else's baby cry. Fortunately, that hasn't happened to me yet.

Kelly, glad you all had a good time. I'm really looking forward to water parks when Rayan's a little older. I'm always the "Big Bird" in line with the little kids waiting to throw myself down the slide.

We want to speak arabic at home with him, but I always forget and end up speaking english to him -becoz my husband and I speak english to eachother- so I end up saying daddy to him. I want him to call his father baba.

We have this miror with toys hanging on the headrest facing him. He loves it and his father gets to see him thru the car middle mirror so its really useful.

My son is 3 months and we have been co-sleeping - i love it like u said easier for me also so cute watching him sleep-, only yesterday I started putting him in his bed in his room, he doesnt mind, may be becoz he is still very young to even notice lol

My husband also forgets to speak Darija to Rayan. I try to remind him. But he's home alone with him in the mornings, and he puts his family on webcam and mic, so I hope he's getting used to the sounds. He also plays a lot Arabic music and has the Arabic sports announcers on.

I wonder if we have the same mirror Ours is a Fisher Price, Precious Planet I think, with sort of a net at the top and little stuffed animals dangling from it.

We have coslept almost from the beginning, since I realized that I could actually get some rest that way. We have a cosleeper bassinet attached to the side of the bed, but for a while it was easier just to pull him from that into our bed when he wanted to nurse in the middle of the night. Trouble is hubby ended up moving out of our double bed for a while because it was just too small and dangerous for the three of us. I've finally figured out a comfortable way to nurse him while he's in the bassinet. It's to my left, so I sort of lean my upper body into it, rest my left upper arm above Rayan's head (the mattress is only about four inches lower than ours), rest my head on my hand or forearm, and he nurses from my left side. Most of my body is on the bed, so I won't fall in. I've fallen asleep in that position before, and it's not a good sleeping position, but it works for nursing without waking Rayan up completely, and hubby's back in our bed again.

Thanks, S!

Adam got this book for Christmas (it has both English and Arabic): http://www.amazon.com/Guess-Much-Love-Arab...h/dp/1854309889

When I came home today it was out, so I think Wadi was reading it to him, awwww.

Awww I think I'll order this one!

And welcome Jamie, J and B, Revenesque, and anyone else I missed. I got a little behind on the posts for the last few days.

Hi everyone! Staashi was nice enough to come over and hold a gun to my head invite me to this thread. (Staashi scares me). Anyway, some of you know me already, the rest of you should be thankful you don't . Pregnant with first baby, 40 years old (yes, I know, I know!), and in my 9th week.

So...hello!!!! (Please don't hurt me Staashi)

Welcome, Valerie! And what's this "I know, I know" business? I had Rayan, my first, at 42 Best wishes for a happy, healthy, and easy 9 months!

Maybe it would be helpful to see what TPS is and is not. It does not lead to legal permanent residence.

And citizens of several other countries have received TPS because of armed conflicts and natural disasters, some not even approaching what Haiti has experienced. A list from 2003 included Angola, Burundi, El Salvador, Honduras, Liberia, Montserrat, Nicaragua, Sierra Leone, Somalia, and Sudan. I haven't yet found a more recent list. In spite of armed conflict and numerous devastating hurricanes, including four in one year, Haitians have never before been granted TPS. They are not now receiving preferential treatment that was invented just for them. They are receiving humanitarian treatment as permitted by law.

We're going on our first long car ride on Sunday. 2 hours to visit family in CT. Not sure yet if Wadi is coming. I'm kind of nervous - I hope he sleeps the whole way.

Hope he sleeps. Rayan usually does, especially if the road is bumpy. He doesn't like stoplights. He had one episode where he was overtired and cried for the last stretch despite nursing breaks, but I may try swaddling his arms if that happens again -- that still comforts him. These days, I velcro a musical toy bar to the handle of his car seat and he plays with that, and I attach a mirror to the back seat so we can see each other. Both seem to help. I remember that Adam is talking to his toys. Is he also grasping them?

My husband calls the baby Daddy. I don't know why He doesn't refer to himself as anything, but I refer to him as Daddy, so we'll just wait and see what the baby decides to call him.