CMJuilland

1. Don't even mention to him you have proof.
2. Don't tell him about any plans for divorce etc.
3. Put all of your documents in secure place outside of home, make digital copies of everything prior to this.
4. Secure your phone, social media and email by setting new passwords where applicable and ensuring he doesn't know them.
5. Stop contributing anything towards joint account and build your own savings.
6. Move out of the house to a new place he doesn't know about.
7. Ask for restraining order on him if you're worried about safety
8. File for divorce
 
Immigration wise, you have nothing to worry about, especially if you have 10 year GC. Worry about your safety and future of your child.
 

Protect yourself (and your child) both physically and legally through a good divorce attorney.  

*** Thread is moved from Off Topic to Effects of Major Changes forum.  ***
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If he's violent toward you or the baby, get out NOW to a place of safety.
Hire the meanest, nastiest divorce attorney that you can find.
Whether your (soon-to-be ex-)husband is working or not, child support will be taken out of his hide by the state of Texas.

From what I gather from your question, I believe his trip in May will pretty much have to be scraped if you don’t want to go through the I-90 process of GC renewal (which I wouldn’t as it seems like a waste of money), and proceed with his naturalization instead. However, I would follow @Mike E’s advice and apply for citizenship immediately. Also, do report the loss of your husband’s green card and get a police report. 

As @Dashinka said, DV is one option. Another option is to find out what skills are needed and in short supply in the U.S. market and pursue your education in Portugal on that path (what @Crazy Cat suggested). Make connections with U.S. and international employers early on (internships, exchange programs, etc.), and maybe that will lead you to your goal. However, none of this will be quick. Best of luck! 

As @Dashinka said, DV is one option. Another option is to find out what skills are needed and in short supply in the U.S. market and pursue your education in Portugal on that path (what @Crazy Cat suggested). Make connections with U.S. and international employers early on (internships, exchange programs, etc.), and maybe that will lead you to your goal. However, none of this will be quick. Best of luck! 

From what I gather from your question, I believe his trip in May will pretty much have to be scraped if you don’t want to go through the I-90 process of GC renewal (which I wouldn’t as it seems like a waste of money), and proceed with his naturalization instead. However, I would follow @Mike E’s advice and apply for citizenship immediately. Also, do report the loss of your husband’s green card and get a police report. 

From what I gather from your question, I believe his trip in May will pretty much have to be scraped if you don’t want to go through the I-90 process of GC renewal (which I wouldn’t as it seems like a waste of money), and proceed with his naturalization instead. However, I would follow @Mike E’s advice and apply for citizenship immediately. Also, do report the loss of your husband’s green card and get a police report. 

As @Dashinka said, DV is one option. Another option is to find out what skills are needed and in short supply in the U.S. market and pursue your education in Portugal on that path (what @Crazy Cat suggested). Make connections with U.S. and international employers early on (internships, exchange programs, etc.), and maybe that will lead you to your goal. However, none of this will be quick. Best of luck! 

As @Dashinka said, DV is one option. Another option is to find out what skills are needed and in short supply in the U.S. market and pursue your education in Portugal on that path (what @Crazy Cat suggested). Make connections with U.S. and international employers early on (internships, exchange programs, etc.), and maybe that will lead you to your goal. However, none of this will be quick. Best of luck! 

I’d reply with a copy of the threat letter,  and a cover letter that says simply; 
 
Bring. It. On.
 
It would be fun to go to immigration court for this. Watching the judge  disembowel the USCIS attorney would be worth it.   
 

The idea is great but with the current backlog, they would schedule trial around 2087, if lucky! 

Just to add (comment only borderlines on the actual immigration situation): maybe your friend does open her mind a little when you emphasize how hard she will make her daughter’s every step in the U.S. down the line - through no fault of her own (after all, the daughter is only eight). Fraud is still fraud (as already pointed out multiple times). Have her imagine the disappointment if the daughter were to go back and just wanted to visit in the future. She will have great difficulty if there is just a remote mention of fraud anywhere in her file. Also, her ESTA eligibility through her Swedish citizenship will be gone. Maybe envisioning that will move your friend a little; maybe it’s worth a try to save them the heartache. 
I hope your friend comes to her senses and gets in line just like everybody else has to. I know I should keep a cool head, but it’s people like her who make it hard for literally everybody else, and that makes me angry. 
Finally on a personal note: you seem to be a really good friend with all the patience you show this person - I would probably have given up long ago. 

Just to add (comment only borderlines on the actual immigration situation): maybe your friend does open her mind a little when you emphasize how hard she will make her daughter’s every step in the U.S. down the line - through no fault of her own (after all, the daughter is only eight). Fraud is still fraud (as already pointed out multiple times). Have her imagine the disappointment if the daughter were to go back and just wanted to visit in the future. She will have great difficulty if there is just a remote mention of fraud anywhere in her file. Also, her ESTA eligibility through her Swedish citizenship will be gone. Maybe envisioning that will move your friend a little; maybe it’s worth a try to save them the heartache. 
I hope your friend comes to her senses and gets in line just like everybody else has to. I know I should keep a cool head, but it’s people like her who make it hard for literally everybody else, and that makes me angry. 
Finally on a personal note: you seem to be a really good friend with all the patience you show this person - I would probably have given up long ago. 

1st   the child can not travel without father's consent (by him or court papers)
2nd  on what basis would the child adjust?
she could come with mother on a K2 or CR2 visa but adjust this way?????
 
wonder how an 8 year old without parents at interview will Get a tourist visa
 
CBP   says
Minors may be able to travel to another country without either one of their parents. They may however require a notarized written consent letter from both parents. 
https://help.cbp.gov/s/article/Article-449?language=en_US#:~:text=Traveling with children - Minors under,another country without their parents&text=Minors may be able to,consent letter from both parents.
 
does this woman understand she has to go for AOS interview and when she shows up with a young child ,  it will be pretty clear  to an immigration officer that she had immigrant intent 
 
2nd read what Mike E wrote as i believe that person ended up in front of immigration judge and this took place years after coming to the US and going for citizenship

I agree and also agree with @K1visaHopeful that mom can be deported at the extreme end of the spectrum. At the middle of the spectrum is a permanent ban for misrepresentation.  
 
The issue to me is that marrying and adjusting status with the bf is fine if it wasn’t planned in advance. However, flying in the daughter makes it more likely the mother’s plan to adjust was premeditated. Even if all those comes together, at N-400 time USCIS can review the entire case from original POE to date of interview.  Which we’ve seen before.  
 
 

Fraud is fraud...whether they get caught or not.

If they both came as you described they can both be nabbed for Visa Fraud and deported and banned.
 
Ie. If the Step daughter knew she was going to AOS before she arrived too, her case is visa fraud as well. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

You are correct.  A person cannot enter the US via ESTA with the intent to stay and adjust status.  And I don't think that is the only issue.
@Mike E  @Boiler

Another vote for marriage and CR-1:
 
Every couple has their own priorities, and each couple must decide which visa is better for their situation.
K-1        
    More expensive than CR-1    
    Requires Adjustment of Status after marriage (expensive and requires a lot of paperwork)    
    Spouse can not leave the US until she/he receives approved Advance Parole (approx 6-8 months)    
    Spouse can not work until she/he receives EAD (approx 6-8 months)    
    Some people have had problems with driver licenses, Social Security cards, leases, bank account during this period    
    Spouse will not receive Green Card for many months after Adjustment of Status is filed.
    A K-1 might be a better choice when 18-21 year old children are immigrating also
    In some situations, marriage can affect certain Home country benefits, making a K-1 a better choice   
    A denied K-1 is sent back to USCIS to expire
    
CR-1
    Less expensive than K-1    
    No Adjustment of Status(I-485, I-131, I-765) required.    
    Spouse can immediately travel outside the US    
    Spouse is authorized to work immediately upon arrival.    
    Spouse receives Social Security Card and Green Card within 2 or 3 weeks after entering the US    
    Opening a bank account, getting a driver's license, etc. are very easily accomplished with GC, SS card, and passport.
    Spouse has legal permanent Resident status IMMEDIATELY upon entry to US.
   

 

I understand how overwhelming the whole process is when you’re just starting out. And it definitely has more than enough flaws. However, that’s the system you are dealing with, and it won’t change any time soon. Like others have said, if you have any option to get together somewhere to get married or get married via Utah Zoom and then meet, I’d also strongly suggest you do that to then apply for a CR1 instead of a K1. It’s way easier (and cheaper!) down the line, not to mention a lot less restrictive. (see @Crazy Cat’s perfect overview). 
I know (and remember) things are really tough when you’re in a long distance relationship, and longer and longer processing times don’t make it any better. However, there is no way around long flights, taking time off, and putting certain aspects of your life on hold, sadly. 
The best thing for us to do when we were just starting out was reading and learning everything there is to know (knowledge is power!). You made a good start by coming here; this site has taught me everything (and more!) I needed to know, and even just other people’s experience will make your journey a lot easier. 
Best of luck to both of you on your journey! 

So true.  OP,  please for the love of Pete spend some significant time reading and becoming educated on the process.
 
Doing so could save you so much money and lost time.  Hiring a service to help you is fine, but it will not make the process faster, cheaper (quite the opposite) or easier. 
 
Either option you take (CR-1 or K-1) will cost thousands of dollars (excluding travel), and will take two years.  There is no way around that.

Here is the step-by-step guide: 
And also from the USCIS page: https://www.uscis.gov/family/family-of-us-citizens/visas-for-fiancees-of-us-citizens

You can get married remotely, but for visa purposes, you’ll still have to meet physically after your marriage has been performed. 
Other members have also met somewhere else and used Utah Zoom marriage while they were in each other’s presence. This will make things easier in so far that you’ll have an American marriage certificate. 
In order for you to make everything less time-consuming for you and with her having more liberty to travel in terms of time, you might be able to find out if her chances of obtaining a visa to Mexico or Canada are better (I unfortunately don’t know anything about that) and then meet there and get married from there. Other central or South American countries might be an option as well to make total travel time at least a little easier on you. 
Alternatively, a Schengen visa might also be an option, which, depending on where you live and where you would go, could also be relatively easy to get to for both of you. 
Others might have more and better ideas.
 

I understand how overwhelming the whole process is when you’re just starting out. And it definitely has more than enough flaws. However, that’s the system you are dealing with, and it won’t change any time soon. Like others have said, if you have any option to get together somewhere to get married or get married via Utah Zoom and then meet, I’d also strongly suggest you do that to then apply for a CR1 instead of a K1. It’s way easier (and cheaper!) down the line, not to mention a lot less restrictive. (see @Crazy Cat’s perfect overview). 
I know (and remember) things are really tough when you’re in a long distance relationship, and longer and longer processing times don’t make it any better. However, there is no way around long flights, taking time off, and putting certain aspects of your life on hold, sadly. 
The best thing for us to do when we were just starting out was reading and learning everything there is to know (knowledge is power!). You made a good start by coming here; this site has taught me everything (and more!) I needed to know, and even just other people’s experience will make your journey a lot easier. 
Best of luck to both of you on your journey!