jm302music

Yes, really exasperating and disappointing.  Having observed Philippine politics and the political ideas of average people (admittedly, on an anecdotal basis, not on the basis of scientific research) for many years now, it just seems that Philippine voters possess a sort of "prison yard" mentality, where the candidates who exhibit the greatest propensity toward use of force, no matter how brutal, to solve problems are granted the right to rule the country and rule it however they see fit.  
 
I even had one female friend on Facebook express the belief that women are "too weak to be president".  She backed up her point by saying that "women aren't fighters, so if our country gets in a war, a woman president wouldn't be able to help us win because she would be weak and break down". Such a sad attitude.  Sad that she's bought into the "might makes right" brainwashing and sad that she holds such a low opinion of her own gender.
 
And now, those of us still trying to get our partners out of that country will face another six years of trying to cut a path through the corruption, red tape, lockdowns / martial law, enforced systematic poverty, etc, etc simply to be with the ones we love.

Yes, really exasperating and disappointing.  Having observed Philippine politics and the political ideas of average people (admittedly, on an anecdotal basis, not on the basis of scientific research) for many years now, it just seems that Philippine voters possess a sort of "prison yard" mentality, where the candidates who exhibit the greatest propensity toward use of force, no matter how brutal, to solve problems are granted the right to rule the country and rule it however they see fit.  
 
I even had one female friend on Facebook express the belief that women are "too weak to be president".  She backed up her point by saying that "women aren't fighters, so if our country gets in a war, a woman president wouldn't be able to help us win because she would be weak and break down". Such a sad attitude.  Sad that she's bought into the "might makes right" brainwashing and sad that she holds such a low opinion of her own gender.
 
And now, those of us still trying to get our partners out of that country will face another six years of trying to cut a path through the corruption, red tape, lockdowns / martial law, enforced systematic poverty, etc, etc simply to be with the ones we love.

Yes, really exasperating and disappointing.  Having observed Philippine politics and the political ideas of average people (admittedly, on an anecdotal basis, not on the basis of scientific research) for many years now, it just seems that Philippine voters possess a sort of "prison yard" mentality, where the candidates who exhibit the greatest propensity toward use of force, no matter how brutal, to solve problems are granted the right to rule the country and rule it however they see fit.  
 
I even had one female friend on Facebook express the belief that women are "too weak to be president".  She backed up her point by saying that "women aren't fighters, so if our country gets in a war, a woman president wouldn't be able to help us win because she would be weak and break down". Such a sad attitude.  Sad that she's bought into the "might makes right" brainwashing and sad that she holds such a low opinion of her own gender.
 
And now, those of us still trying to get our partners out of that country will face another six years of trying to cut a path through the corruption, red tape, lockdowns / martial law, enforced systematic poverty, etc, etc simply to be with the ones we love.

I can't imagine any reason Filipino's would ever vote Bongbong in as president. I just can't believe it.
 
https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/philippines-election-marcos-fortune/

I almost waited until my fiance had her bags packed and said all her good byes to everyone before I bought tickets. (Well not really that close)
But with the Covid thing and rules changing by the day, I waited until I was sure everything was in order.
 

So sorry to hear that you are going through this!  My fiancee and I went through the sputum-test maze twice.  Same thing as your case.  There was absolutely no reason for them to put her through that.
 
Long story short, those two sputum-test delays all but eliminated our chances of ever being together. I hope and pray that you have a better ending.
 
Joel

So sorry to hear that you are going through this!  My fiancee and I went through the sputum-test maze twice.  Same thing as your case.  There was absolutely no reason for them to put her through that.
 
Long story short, those two sputum-test delays all but eliminated our chances of ever being together. I hope and pray that you have a better ending.
 
Joel

So yesterday was my Medical at St. Lukes, no sign of illness, no fever, no cough just plain excited and of course Im negative in swabtest. 
I was surprised when they told me that I need to do a Sputum Test, at first im confused because my last Medical July 2020 im good. 
So, 3 days collection and today was my 1st. I have a hard time coughing since I dont have like bad cough and I gagged the entire time trying to spit and if i drink cold and eat sweets  thats when l get cold cough. My spit (sorry) was clear and im so confused how they concluded i have "something" in my lungs. 🤦‍♀️ they should have concluded after 2x attempt of xray and not just " they saw a line, something" once,
Oh Lord JESUS. 
This whole sputum thing is the worst, need to reschedule my interview. If im done in 2mos waiting how long the Embassy can reschedule my interview? 
 
Thank you. 

So poor girl moved half way around the world to live in an abusive situation? I wish she was here to understand this is not normal.

Ok. I'm going to give you the benefit of a doubt that you're actually seeking advice, but going about it in the wrong way. In my opinion, sex is an expression of intimacy - not intimacy itself.
 
Hopefully, you're not giving her the impression that she's just a product you imported to the US for the purpose of your gratification. Because, who could blame her for not complying with that? As you said, she's only been in the country for 2.5 weeks.
 
Maybe just focus on making sure she's happy, content, and adjusting to her new life well? Let her know you truly love her, share the things you like about this country with her, be attentive and romantic and empathetic to her situation. And most of all - stop treating her like you suspect some ulterior motive. Create an atmosphere of intimacy and the sexual component should happen organically, when the mood is right.  

Sorry Bud but you are coming off very self-centered.  There are literally thousands who would trade places with you.  You got her here and so many others are struggling to do the same.   My wife and I have been together for 9 months and we work on our relationship every day.  I would not trade her for anything and I know she feels the same way.  ADVENTINE gave you some good advise.  Don't berate her on a public forum. 

I don’t think they need couples therapy. I think he desperately need professional help and she needs to be in a safer place.

Just remember that she is from a different background.
Maybe couples therapy can help if a normal communication is not working.
 
And your “things do change once THEY get here to the States” assumption is really negative about immigrates in general. She is not everybody and I can’t see anything bad in her decision. She is a hard worker and maybe she, like me, never had too much free time and associates with being lazy. I can’t be 3 weeks not working. I totally understand her.
 
She is doing a great thing showing you that she wants to work and not be depending  on you but the only thing you can see is that she don’t want to “enjoy” more free time… there is a really problem in understanding the other people side. 
 
And if you regret just because of that WOW to you. 

Reading your post history and how critical you've been about her, I won't lie and say I didn't see this coming...

Itself? Yikes.

Couple therapy, yesterday?

Does she know you are posting personal details about her online?
 
How does she feel about you telling strangers details about her and her "intimacy" likes or dislikes?
 
Could it be that you are a different person than she thought you were and she is turned off by that?
 
Did you ever consider that the problem may be with you and not her?

You two need marital counseling ASAP. Certain issues are best discussed in private with a professional counselor. After all the time and effort you've both put into the immigration process, it's a shame to throw that all away just because you have disagreements about intimacy.
 
On another thread about scams in the Philippines, you posted that you think that might be happening in your marriage. That lack of trust in your wife is something you also need to address with professional counseling.
 
She's been in the US only a few weeks. It's stressful and overwhelming to move to a different country. That could be another reason for her not being interested in intimacy. Probably, the way you respond to her is likely contributing to the stress. This is where a professional counselor can really help - identifying the actions you are BOTH doing that are undermining the marriage.
 
Ranting here on VJ about your private marital problems might make you feel good in the short term, but I don't think it's going to help either of you in the long run. Especially when your wife finds out you're sharing these intimate details to internet strangers.
 

This isn't the first time I've seen you create a thread declaring you want to send your fiance back to the province like a defective product. Last time it was over a misunderstanding beyond her control and when you learned the truth, you didn't seem the least bit remorseful about your initial reaction. If you're so quick to call things off every time things aren't playing out like you think they should, you're probably making her feel insecure, which is making her anxious to find some stability that doesn't directly depend on you - hence the job search. 

I want to say a very big Thank you to this whole community, since i started this Journey on the K1 process back in 2017 and went to a CR1 everyone has been extremely helpful in this life Journey.
 
I and thousands and hundreds of thousand have struggled through a heck of a process to either be granted our wishes for our significant others or loss due to problems with this unforgiven immigration struggle, everyone needs to stay strong and keep at it either here in the USA or what ever country you all live in dreams do come true. 
 
My fiance/now wife has endured a lot from k1 through to the cr1 process and it is a very costly matter it is not for the faint of hearts going through this ordeal and many struggles lay ahead for all to come.
 
Our final interview is July 23rd after 2.5 yrs of marriage finally will become one God willing, i will keep you all informed on how things go for interview and will update timeline as needed.
 
 

I definitely feel your pain, RO_AH!  This process does often seem like a never-ending series of demands for "one more thing".  And each "one more thing" seems to result in wasted travel money, wasted fees, enormous amounts of wasted time, etc.  So frustrating!  I hope it all works out for you soon!
 
Joel
 

You spend so much time researching. You read everything you can. You spend months preparing. Yet there is almost always another hurdle to cross. My wife's birth certificate is listed as late registration which is very common in the Philippines. You are born out in a province, a lot of times at your home. If your lucky maybe some sort of midwife assisting. Then the next time you can travel to the nearest LCR you go and register the birth. Well because of this (I don't know if this has always been the case) they require EXTRA documentation. No where in any of the information that I have seen so far is this listed (unless I missed something. They did not keep her passport which means she will need to go back. Her medical will expire 8/8 and I am still trying to be able to go there to get her and the children if I can get the magical mystery visa and exemption. Yet I can't even buy tickets for any of us until I know we have the visa.
 

 

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult time.  And I definitely feel your pain!  My fiancee and I have been trying to be together as a family for over 5 years now.  2020 was FINALLY going to be our year and we even had our interview in Feb of 2020.  And then the pandemic hit.  Now, with all of the unpredictable rules and travel restrictions, we may not even see each other again until 2022.
 
Anyway, I'm sorry you've gone through all of that distress of not being there for those difficult losses in your family. I hope you (and all of us!) are able to go back soon!
 
Joel

I envy y'all.
 
Before I left the Philippines in July 2019, I promised my family that I would be home every year.
We planned a trip in May 2020 but it did not happen because of the lockdown.
Father died in June 2020, a very close uncle died in October 2020--still can't go home.
 
My husband says that I can go home and stay for 3 months but I just can't be away from him that long.
In addition, I don't feel safe traveling yet.
And if we ever do travel together, we can only do it for a week because of work-- I would definitely do this option but then, we still don't feel safe traveling yet.
 
Oh well....

Man, I definitely feel your pain there.  My fiancée and I have been trying to complete our process since 2016!
 
I'll spare you the details, but our complications have been similar (although definitely not as bad!) to yours, specifically with the medical certification.  2020 was finally going to be our year, and then the pandemic hit.
 
I don't know how much value my advice carries since we haven't actually completed our process yet.  But I agree with your inclination that the situation isn't going to just work itself out. 
 
When we can finally continue with our process, we'll be doing our third medical, paying a third visa fee, and undoubtedly repeating a lot of other costs, too.  Given those facts, we've just decided to not take any more steps until we're sure we can complete the process once and for all.  That would mean waiting until the pandemic lockdowns are over worldwide and "normal" travel resumes.  And that's probably going to mean waiting until late 2021 or even early 2022.  That's a pretty dismal outlook, but one based on the reality of the hardships and hurdles that we've experienced so far.
 
I know you mentioned that St. Luke's had just scheduled a new medical without even consulting either of you.  That kind of stuff that's happening right now is so frustrating, especially when coupled with the other frustration you mentioned of not being able to actually talk to a real person and get solid information.
 
I guess since they're making you pay again for that new medical that they've scheduled in December, I'd probably recommend just cancelling the appointment so that you're not paying all that money for nothing (and causing your fiancée to have to spend yet another two days at St. Luke's).  Given the fact that "normal" travel probably won't return until well on into 2021, she probably wouldn't be able to use that medical certification before it expires, which would then result in still ANOTHER medical before she could travel.
 
Anyway, as I said, my advice plus a dollar will get you a large drink at McDonald's, so take it for what it's worth.  At least know that there's somebody else out here in much the same boat as you two.  I wish you all the best with getting through this and finally being together one day.

Joel