soulstriker

Your claiming its not a big deal that you just want it because its yours but its not entitled to you anymore because you left the country.  you most have intent to do something with it since you keep insisting you need it so much , visiting usa at this point would have alot of scrutiny on you 

3 hours ago, Paul & Mallory said:

Oh geez The whole time I was reading this thread, I had hopes that it was just some early-marriage communication issues, which can typically be sorted out. (Side note: to the person who came here before just to comment that their first years of marriage were all rainbows and sunshine, among people who have clearly struggled during theirs, was super rude.) Anyway - this definitely is a different story.

 

I just posted in another thread almost on a similar topic - discovering a difference in your spouses' sexual preferences after the fact. I'll say the same here - it isn't about one's sexuality. It's about deception. Marrying someone who is straight and under the impression that you're also straight, while you are bi or gay and have not shared that with them, is deceptive. The comment between her and her friends about hanging in there until citizenship is also deceptive and whether she said it or "her friend" said it, I would take that very seriously.

 

Honestly, regardless of what happens, I think finding out your legal options is a good thing to do no matter what. Having knowledge and self-awareness when it comes to preparedness will only empower you and encourage you should a difficult decision ever become necessary.

 

Best of luck to you! 

Thanks for the reply I just been taking one day at a time , I got some legal aid already I will continue to just be cautious of everything i say or do at this moment , i feel bad for my daughter mainly she didnt deserve any of this . And its sad to see her being used like a safety blanket

hmm its clearly infidelity  at least thats confirmed , but mistake was continuigng the process knowing , did you do an interview together? b/c that would mean you also did fraud

It never stops  i guess not only did things communcation wise not get better she finally tells me  on thursday that she may be bisexual...........her idea was open marriage etc etc (someting i never signed up for ) , then the next day she says shes not sure if shes lesbian or bi that she is figuring it out , then the next day shes not lesbian shes bi , then sunday she says shes straight all over again, that her friends were telling her to pretend till citizenship but she couldnt do it . She tells me im a violent , wicked , cheater , immature , and that i lack communication skills lol. I told her i have nothing against anyone when it comes to sexuality but that is smething you should of told me form the jump, there is no way you can be an 28 year old and not know yourself. Ive already started preparing myself for what i need to do legally.

sorry for the long paragraphs just want to sum up the situation . so based on my research if she wants to stay here she can file for ROC and will get a RFE for the divorce decree when its in hand , of course if she stays the affidavit of support will still remain ( knowing her ego/pride she wont try draining me because she knows i have to support our daughter). Or if she wants to go to nigeria and her 2 year expires im basically out of the loop but i would still need to do the proper divorce filing ( ive heard that even if your ex spouse isnt in the country you can still divorce but based on state rules/law etc) Is there anything else im messing? That seems to be the paths , im guessing she could try filling vawa ( based on abuse or harship) but the scrutiny could be more especially since you would have to prove that ( ive taken care of my wife/daughter ever since so im not worried about that )

1 hour ago, NikLR said:

You two need to figure out how to communicate and a counselor can help.  Being separated isnt helping.  Visiting twice in 2 years certainly didnt prepare either of you for living together.  

 

Since you have a child together, you will need to figure out how to get along with her for at least the next 18 years or more. It WILL be highly strenuous on your child if you do not.  As someone whose parents did not get along, trust me.  I am very amiable with my ex for the sake of my child.  I would often like to punch him in the nose when we converse but never would because she would be the one who suffers for it.  (Only because I know how hard it is when your parents dont get along.  I have zero pictures of both my parents and me. No when I graduated high school or college or when I was married.)

 

Get counseling as the very least for yourself since you are acting outside your normal self.

 

You do not have to live with verbal abuse anymore than you have to live with physical abuse FYI.  I am not condoning going back into a relationship where you are called names and put down.  Does she know this is verbal abuse and not okay? 

She has not really taking things objectively there were days when I used to tell her that if anything is ever bothering you can always count on me if you want to talk it over , i basically begged for communication the first year of marriage it got to the point where the silent treatment , passive agressive behavior started and with that came my own frustation ( logan/wolverine yelling , throwing things , splashing water in her face , taking long walks , etc etc). I tried every method I tried not confronting her at all , pushing anger under the rug , tried not communicating  , tried asking for advise , tried handling issues on my own. she doesnt think logically first her thoughts go emotional first and then just on impulse and how shes feeling. Ive been accused of cheating when i havent , and then other months provoked by her own words to attempt to ( of course im not dumb). Yeah counseling may be something to do but im not taking the inital first step like i have been doing because it has not worked and i end up getting burned for it. Im guilty of yelling , letting myself get provoked , and allowing her disrespectful words to mess up my innerself.Right now shes staying at my apt with my daughter looking for a part time job apparently , right now all im doing is stopping by to see my daughter and check up on her and the babysitter. I told my wife that if you want this babysitter to stay you will have to get a job and help me pay for her( im paying for everything else on my own). She is not a all bad person but its just a few personality traits that dont mesh well with me i guess , shes a provoker and shes also not a peacemaker. She doesnt care about making sure there is peace she only cares that she makes sure she gets the last word. My sister in law , babysitter , parents , brothers and even some of my friends tried doing interventions and none of has worked . The thing i tried telling her the day i left the apt was that yes i have my own faults but what is your input in this marriage when it came to confrontations/arguments? You cant be in a two person marriage and only one person tries to solve problems , create solutions , improve the best they can , it makes it even harder for me when its a one person job trying to improve a two person marriage

Not really sure one of my friends suggested it and even my parents did im just going to give her space to really think about what she wants to do because a quiet person like me who ends up yelling and throwing things  like im logan/wolverine  doesnt make any sense its not something i ever did  its out of person.  So  my plan now is just to make sure my daughter is doing well and watch over her when im off weekends or certain week days and if 2 weeks pass and shes ready to move forward fine so be it but if thats the case divorce threats , grudges , verbal abuse etc shouldnt follow anymore and i know i have my own faults as well . because really the main one who will suffer is my daughter but for now its just see what happens in a month time im not afraid of divorce and she has already mentioned that going back to nigeria may be what she needs to do , she mentioned my daughter going with her and personally i do feel odd if i was to take my daughter from her , but since shes a citizen even if shes there in nigeria ill still make sure my daughter is okay im just mentally drained and me having to do everything on my own bills and the rest hasnt made it easier on me 

So alot has happened since i been this site so I will try to make it short and explain myself.  My wife ( then fiance ) came here january 2017 we got married in march 2017 , we had our long distance relationship since fall 2015 so alot of time has been put into this , i even visited twice . Ever since 2017 there has always been a communication issue between us and maybe that was because of being brought up differently im not too sure.  Arguments , verbal attacks , lack of communication , divorce threats , silent treatment , fighting have all been happening atleast once a month ever since even with having a daughter back november 2017 it never got easier. I have my faults and im willing to work on my flaws but im with someone who will delfect , provoke , and use verbal attacks to get back at me for things. She will claim im a violent person , i have a temper etc etc. but the question has always been in this two way thing we have called marriage what has her input been? Why has this husband of mine gotten mad or loud? Instead of playing the victim all the time and taking responsiblity for her own inputs in the marriage its gotten to the point where she can threaten me with divorce multiple times  , disrepects me infront of people , has called me all the names in the world , and still will blame me for everything on the sun. Right now im at my parents house and  were just taking a "break" this separation will result in two things . 1 she calls me and shes finally ready to work on ourselves and we move on on all past things or 2 we stay separated for a year and i file divorce " no fault divorce" i tihnk they call it in nc . The only thing i care about now is my daughter and there is no point trying to force someone to stay married to you if there just going to keep threatening divorce to you every month.

In this mess her 2 year GC expires next year , thoughts on what to do ?

4 hours ago, yutekao said:

My wife received her green card today!!!!!!!!!

Awesome😎😎😎😎

Gc in hand today, so fast well deserved break till 2019 =) 

awesome grats!!

for anyone who had a GC interview what did u bring wit you??

10 hours ago, RandB said:

Received my green card approval notice in the mail today. I thought it was my green card at first, so I was a little bummed. Hopefully it'll arrive in a few days.

how was your interview , did u have one ? if so what did u take?

On 7/26/2017 at 10:59 PM, Nin&Way said:

Hi Soulstriker! Honestly, i was so eager to receive my EAD that at some point i don't  really check on GC interviews and stuff. So I'm just going to be waiting for your review. lol... Again, i wish you and your wife good luck!!

thanks

Quote

 

Has anyone had a green card interview? What did you bring? 

5 minutes ago, nikaero said:

Double congratulations... They will send you an interview letter which will list all the things you need to bring with you to the interview... its always good to have the originals of the certificates and other things you submitted copies of with you as well as an additional copy of those... Best of luck for yor interview... mine is on August 2nd...

Thank did u get your letter already? Did anyone interview yet here?

So we got our Ead  and Ap approved ,with the EAD card mailing soon,on the same day our gc status is now interview is scheduled, so fast!!! Now im wondering what should i take to the interview,our interview is in 19 days😎

2 weeks

It can happen for sure 

14 hours ago, Ogoshinda said:

Hey @soulstriker I was in k1 journey with u  from September  2016. Plz i  wanted to know supporting documents you submitted with your birth certificate because  i  received RFE few days ago regarding my AOS.  

Anything that backs up your birth

1 minute ago, Laprincia said:

I know that most embassies in Africa are known as difficult due to high fraud but has there been any success stories? I mostly here only deinals or bad stories. 

Go to the consulate reviews not all are bad

quick update , case is ready to schedule interview, my rfe response was just received last week , grateful for the fast turn around , 

case is ready to be scheduled interview!, got the update today , glad my RFE response was good enough ,that was a pretty fast fix  around 

On 5/1/2017 at 10:47 PM, Apfel said:

You can check my post history, I have a picture of the RFIE for birth certificate. We asked at InfoPass and on the phone and they said send it again with the travel.state.gov Reciprocity schedule for your country as directed by the RFIE. They received our response a couple of weeks ago and they seem to be good with it now. 

I sent my rfe response the other day i went overboard and added few more documents/evidence, also did the biometric appointment today was very fast