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Hairball

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  1. Like
    Hairball got a reaction from Eric & Idalia in Things went badly for us, she wants to leave after being here 1 week   
    I would like to offer my 2 cents......This happened to me, but reversed....
    I am a global traveler, and had the chance to be a expat in many countries.
    I moved from the USA to Ukraine to be with my woman. Maidan had protesters, the east was being invaded by "men in green" Crimea was becoming a mess. I have never been to a FSU country in my travels.......WOW!! ....Culture shock!!!
    The opposite side of the world, NO ONE SPEAKS ENGLISH where I landed...( I now live in Kyiv ).....They use a different alphabet, food tasted different, customs were different.....every aspect of my life had changed..... I could not leave the flat without my woman for safety reasons....She had a full- time job....As hard as I tried, the urge to go home was over powering. I was out of place, out of balance and very unhappy. I love Anna more than life, but I was so compelled to return to my comfort zone. Life was miserable and unbearable. Anna made huge efforts to make me comfortable....She took me places....ate local foods.....enjoyed art, history and shopping in the open-air markets....She spent ALL her non-working hours with me and making a heart felt effort to make me feel comfortable...During the day she could not call me because it would be problems if someone heard her speaking English....Plus her English skills sucked big time...
    Still I felt "trapped" like a animal in a cage....Her flat was the size of my kitchen, we lived in a war zone.... I couldn't take it any longer....I packed and waited for her to come home....That was the first time I truly understood how much she loved me, and how hard it was for her.
    For example, the jealous women ( That she landed a American )....The people that say " whats wrong with her? why can't she get a nice Ukrainian man?" she must be a crazy woman!.. and then there are the people that are against a foreign relationship.
    After long thought, I unpacked and tried to stick it out....Things got tougher, we would loose power, internet, water and gas...I had no Skype to my family...And I was in a full war zone by that time....shelling and gun fire....people in the streets, displaced and cold life got real ugly. I wanted to leave.....Her job was complete in the war zone and we moved to Kyiv...(She was closing banks in the conflict area)
    Still feeling out of place....but Kyiv is a beautiful large city... They have a bar that caters to English speakers...Very cool! But I still don't understand the guys from Wales...
    After about a month....I packed and wanted to go home again....I called her at work, and she came straight home....as fast as metro could get her here....we talked and discussed ways I would feel some comfort....She also mentioned that I wasn't trying hard enough...to integrate.
    I try to learn Russian/Ukrainian, whatever it is called. But know I don't care... I am learning the alphabet and some language, I can get through the market...sometimes I buy mystery foods because I can't speak the language..but I am adjusting....and actually enjoy my new life
    It has been a year and a half....I am married to the most amazing and loving woman.....And I have stepped up to the plate and fulfill my man role...I take the lead, make the decisions and sometimes I have to put my foot down....
    It is time for you to put your foot down.....be kind, gentle and loving....tell her to stay "it will and does pass"....Get her involved in life...it is your responsibility.....Don't lay down and say okay honey, I know it is hard for you to get use to the time zone....I send you home...That is BS....
    A foreign relationship is a special blessing....treat it as such!....It IS work....but it is well worth it IMHO )
  2. Like
    Hairball got a reaction from AvaAdore in Visa in hand, but petitioner is unemployed. Please help!   
    Ava,
    Something else to consider......You may be describing a substance abuser......Google may be your friend.
    Leave this looser, he will only drag you down....And ask yourself, do you want to become like him?
  3. Like
    Hairball got a reaction from AvaAdore in Visa in hand, but petitioner is unemployed. Please help!   
    Ava,
    Let me give you some old man advice..... "Run Forest Run".......Even if you could put this relationship together, it will never last.
    At this point you should be very happy......are you?
    A foreign relationship is a lot of work.....does he show you he is willing to work on your relationship......NOPE!
    A foreign relationship requires understanding, respect, patience,nurturing and love......does he give you that now?
    He could get a job.....don't fall for that one........he is mommy's boy and you have to realize that....
    I moved to be with my now wife....you think I spoke Russian? ....Nope not one word.....But I could say thank you.....and now we speak something I think is called Russlish....
    Move on...it might be a heartbreak, but it won't be a life long misery
  4. Like
    Hairball got a reaction from cdneh in Visa in hand, but petitioner is unemployed. Please help!   
    Ava,
    Let me give you some old man advice..... "Run Forest Run".......Even if you could put this relationship together, it will never last.
    At this point you should be very happy......are you?
    A foreign relationship is a lot of work.....does he show you he is willing to work on your relationship......NOPE!
    A foreign relationship requires understanding, respect, patience,nurturing and love......does he give you that now?
    He could get a job.....don't fall for that one........he is mommy's boy and you have to realize that....
    I moved to be with my now wife....you think I spoke Russian? ....Nope not one word.....But I could say thank you.....and now we speak something I think is called Russlish....
    Move on...it might be a heartbreak, but it won't be a life long misery
  5. Like
    Hairball got a reaction from Eric & Idalia in Visa in hand, but petitioner is unemployed. Please help!   
    Ava,
    Let me give you some old man advice..... "Run Forest Run".......Even if you could put this relationship together, it will never last.
    At this point you should be very happy......are you?
    A foreign relationship is a lot of work.....does he show you he is willing to work on your relationship......NOPE!
    A foreign relationship requires understanding, respect, patience,nurturing and love......does he give you that now?
    He could get a job.....don't fall for that one........he is mommy's boy and you have to realize that....
    I moved to be with my now wife....you think I spoke Russian? ....Nope not one word.....But I could say thank you.....and now we speak something I think is called Russlish....
    Move on...it might be a heartbreak, but it won't be a life long misery
  6. Like
    Hairball got a reaction from Gitana in Married in neutral country, US citizen and Russian citizen. What now?   
    You can get the time waived at ZAGS.....Just show plane ticket and tell the ZAGS lady that you have to return home before the 30 day wait period.....It can and has been done before
    Take American cigarettes and candies for gift.....the women smoke ultra lights.......and maybe pass her a thank you card with a 20 spot in it....
    This is the FSU......a "gift will get you anything"
  7. Like
    Hairball got a reaction from cancerDrGeorge in Married in neutral country, US citizen and Russian citizen. What now?   
    You can get the time waived at ZAGS.....Just show plane ticket and tell the ZAGS lady that you have to return home before the 30 day wait period.....It can and has been done before
    Take American cigarettes and candies for gift.....the women smoke ultra lights.......and maybe pass her a thank you card with a 20 spot in it....
    This is the FSU......a "gift will get you anything"
  8. Like
    Hairball got a reaction from Darnell in Surprise guest...but no room   
    Without good communication with your spouse things can be difficult. You say " I am not happy about this at all " Talk to him in a loving and kind manner Explain in a way that he understands...
    "There is an expectation that once you get to America that you must help those back home. Which is fine in theory....meaning if you have the means to do so. We do NOT have the means at this time. I need to confront my husband about this." Talk to him...next time it may be the cousins cousin that wants to "visit"
  9. Like
    Hairball got a reaction from Neonred in Married in neutral country, US citizen and Russian citizen. What now?   
    You can get the time waived at ZAGS.....Just show plane ticket and tell the ZAGS lady that you have to return home before the 30 day wait period.....It can and has been done before
    Take American cigarettes and candies for gift.....the women smoke ultra lights.......and maybe pass her a thank you card with a 20 spot in it....
    This is the FSU......a "gift will get you anything"
  10. Like
    Hairball got a reaction from Asia in Toursit Visa for Ukrainian girlfriend   
    The GF went to the documents center to collect her visa.
    When looking at it with excitement, she had to sit for a minute. She asked for B2 for 30 days...What was issued was B1/B2 10 year multi entry visa. Our feet are still not on the ground:)) I am booking her flight now....yes!!
  11. Like
    Hairball got a reaction from Jacque67 in Toursit Visa for Ukrainian girlfriend   
    The GF went to the documents center to collect her visa.
    When looking at it with excitement, she had to sit for a minute. She asked for B2 for 30 days...What was issued was B1/B2 10 year multi entry visa. Our feet are still not on the ground:)) I am booking her flight now....yes!!
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