Kajikit

Nobody looks twice at a 60yo (or even older) guy with a 25yo wife... why should the males have a monopoly?

Sweety, something like this should not BE a secret from your spouse! Things that are kept secret become a BIG DEAL when they're not. It's not as if you got to choose your own name at birth... JUST TELL HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are plenty of health nuts in America... America pretty much INVENTED the 'health food industry', as well as the fast-food/junk food industries... and farmer's markets/'eating local'/eating 'natural' are the flavours of the year. You can eat anywhere on the spectrum you feel like if you can afford it...
And if you can't... well, it probably took me three years or so to get used to 'Eating American'. There is a ton of sugar/salt/fat/flavourings in almost everything you eat. It wasn't what I was used to at all (especially the bread... ugh) After a decade, I can't remember what 'home' was like. But I LOVE Trader Joes... much better quality food at great prices.

There are plenty of health nuts in America... America pretty much INVENTED the 'health food industry', as well as the fast-food/junk food industries... and farmer's markets/'eating local'/eating 'natural' are the flavours of the year. You can eat anywhere on the spectrum you feel like if you can afford it...
And if you can't... well, it probably took me three years or so to get used to 'Eating American'. There is a ton of sugar/salt/fat/flavourings in almost everything you eat. It wasn't what I was used to at all (especially the bread... ugh) After a decade, I can't remember what 'home' was like. But I LOVE Trader Joes... much better quality food at great prices.

There are plenty of health nuts in America... America pretty much INVENTED the 'health food industry', as well as the fast-food/junk food industries... and farmer's markets/'eating local'/eating 'natural' are the flavours of the year. You can eat anywhere on the spectrum you feel like if you can afford it...
And if you can't... well, it probably took me three years or so to get used to 'Eating American'. There is a ton of sugar/salt/fat/flavourings in almost everything you eat. It wasn't what I was used to at all (especially the bread... ugh) After a decade, I can't remember what 'home' was like. But I LOVE Trader Joes... much better quality food at great prices.

Was she like this before the car accident and head injury? Or did they change her... traumatic brain injury is a terrible thing and it can totally change a persons personality and it is largely outside her control. But if she was like this before the accident, get a divorce. And no, she can't take your greencard away from you... it's yours.

I don't drive... our old apartment was in walking distance of everything including a bus stop... I didn't realise how lucky I was until we moved - the only place I can walk to from here is the church... luckily my husband drives a lot for work, and I can go with him if I want, just to sit in the car and keep him company while he's driving around, then I can shop if his appointment is in a shopping center, or else I just sit in the car and read my book until he's done. If I didn't go with him at least once a week I think I'd go barmy from the isolation!
If you have no wheels, no public transport, nothing in walking distance, and your spouse works unfavourable hours for taking you places, all you can do is get yourself some wheels as soon as humanly possible. Even a bicycle might make your horizons larger, and you don't need a license for it. If you're church-going types, see if you can hook into the community life at the closest church to your home. There might be programs you can volunteer for, and if you're lucky there might be somebody willing to come pick you up and take you there. Most volunteer positions in the US automatically assume that you have your own transport... If you're desperate you could take a taxi, but they get expensive fast.

Since hardly anyone hangs around here after they've finished the whole Immigration process successfully, I thought I'd come out of lurking and post. Fifteen years ago last month I met my husband-to-be on the internet. Ten years ago I moved to the US on my K1 visa and we were married... and two years ago I got my US citizenship. Being married takes work... being married to somebody from another country and another cultural background takes more work (even when you were both born speaking English)... and dealing with the bureaucracy of immigration takes even more work... we've had our hassles and problems, the same as anyone else, but in the end we committed to each other for a reason... Nothing in life ever works out exactly the way you planned it, including marriage. In the end, I think it's all worth it. Stay the course and remember - a good marriage is one that makes both of you stronger. Somebody just posted a quote from Dr Laura that sums it up perfectly - the gist of it was that a strong marriage doesn't mean that you both have to be strong all the time... it means that you are each there to be strong for the other when they need you the most. Love each other, remember why you chose each other, and stay the course - it won't be easy, but in the end, it's all going to be worth it...

The dealer takes care of it... that's one of the reasons you pay extra, so you don't have the hassle.

The dealer takes care of it... that's one of the reasons you pay extra, so you don't have the hassle.

Since hardly anyone hangs around here after they've finished the whole Immigration process successfully, I thought I'd come out of lurking and post. Fifteen years ago last month I met my husband-to-be on the internet. Ten years ago I moved to the US on my K1 visa and we were married... and two years ago I got my US citizenship. Being married takes work... being married to somebody from another country and another cultural background takes more work (even when you were both born speaking English)... and dealing with the bureaucracy of immigration takes even more work... we've had our hassles and problems, the same as anyone else, but in the end we committed to each other for a reason... Nothing in life ever works out exactly the way you planned it, including marriage. In the end, I think it's all worth it. Stay the course and remember - a good marriage is one that makes both of you stronger. Somebody just posted a quote from Dr Laura that sums it up perfectly - the gist of it was that a strong marriage doesn't mean that you both have to be strong all the time... it means that you are each there to be strong for the other when they need you the most. Love each other, remember why you chose each other, and stay the course - it won't be easy, but in the end, it's all going to be worth it...

Since hardly anyone hangs around here after they've finished the whole Immigration process successfully, I thought I'd come out of lurking and post. Fifteen years ago last month I met my husband-to-be on the internet. Ten years ago I moved to the US on my K1 visa and we were married... and two years ago I got my US citizenship. Being married takes work... being married to somebody from another country and another cultural background takes more work (even when you were both born speaking English)... and dealing with the bureaucracy of immigration takes even more work... we've had our hassles and problems, the same as anyone else, but in the end we committed to each other for a reason... Nothing in life ever works out exactly the way you planned it, including marriage. In the end, I think it's all worth it. Stay the course and remember - a good marriage is one that makes both of you stronger. Somebody just posted a quote from Dr Laura that sums it up perfectly - the gist of it was that a strong marriage doesn't mean that you both have to be strong all the time... it means that you are each there to be strong for the other when they need you the most. Love each other, remember why you chose each other, and stay the course - it won't be easy, but in the end, it's all going to be worth it...

Since hardly anyone hangs around here after they've finished the whole Immigration process successfully, I thought I'd come out of lurking and post. Fifteen years ago last month I met my husband-to-be on the internet. Ten years ago I moved to the US on my K1 visa and we were married... and two years ago I got my US citizenship. Being married takes work... being married to somebody from another country and another cultural background takes more work (even when you were both born speaking English)... and dealing with the bureaucracy of immigration takes even more work... we've had our hassles and problems, the same as anyone else, but in the end we committed to each other for a reason... Nothing in life ever works out exactly the way you planned it, including marriage. In the end, I think it's all worth it. Stay the course and remember - a good marriage is one that makes both of you stronger. Somebody just posted a quote from Dr Laura that sums it up perfectly - the gist of it was that a strong marriage doesn't mean that you both have to be strong all the time... it means that you are each there to be strong for the other when they need you the most. Love each other, remember why you chose each other, and stay the course - it won't be easy, but in the end, it's all going to be worth it...

Since hardly anyone hangs around here after they've finished the whole Immigration process successfully, I thought I'd come out of lurking and post. Fifteen years ago last month I met my husband-to-be on the internet. Ten years ago I moved to the US on my K1 visa and we were married... and two years ago I got my US citizenship. Being married takes work... being married to somebody from another country and another cultural background takes more work (even when you were both born speaking English)... and dealing with the bureaucracy of immigration takes even more work... we've had our hassles and problems, the same as anyone else, but in the end we committed to each other for a reason... Nothing in life ever works out exactly the way you planned it, including marriage. In the end, I think it's all worth it. Stay the course and remember - a good marriage is one that makes both of you stronger. Somebody just posted a quote from Dr Laura that sums it up perfectly - the gist of it was that a strong marriage doesn't mean that you both have to be strong all the time... it means that you are each there to be strong for the other when they need you the most. Love each other, remember why you chose each other, and stay the course - it won't be easy, but in the end, it's all going to be worth it...

Your K1 visa is good for six months. You can still go... and if things don't work out in the US you can always go back to Australia again. And once you have the right paperwork done you can go back to visit. It doesn't have to be a one way trip. My parents were against my making the move and I was tearing myself apart trying to make everyone happy until I wrote my mother a long letter and told her that if it had to be the choice between her and my fiance I was going to choose him, but I really didn't want to have to do that... it hurt her to hear it in black and white, but because she loved me, she understood that I had to live my own life, not theirs, even if it was going to be in a different country. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

Does he have any MEDICAL reasons not to work? That includes depression and/or anxiety... being long-term unemployed is very demoralising and depression/anxiety can become a serious problem. Or does he just not want to bother, or think that he's got you to look after him so he shouldn't need to? And especially - is he really just sitting in front of his computer all day expecting you to wait on him hand and foot? Or is he pulling his weight around the house and doing the work that you can't because you are out earning the $$.
I don't work. I haven't worked in many years... but my husband knew this going in. At times we've had arguments because things would be 'easier' if I was able to bring in a second income, but I'm not physically able to do so. Having seen me collapse my health attempting to work my way up to being able to do a 'real' job, my husband eventually agreed that work is just not for me. I don't have extravagant tastes and I don't go around spending money we don't have because I know we can't afford it. There are many things I'd love to have/do, but I know that we can't realistically afford them, so I put my self-interest aside and sacrificed them rather than making my husband feel bad by demanding them. I look after the house and him and our cats and make sure my hobbies are not financially-intensive.
If your husband seems to be just lazy, you need to have a SERIOUS talk about expectations... if he's not going to bring in a salary, what is he going to do to take some of the workload off you so you have more energy/time for actual paying work? You can't be expected to do everything while he sits around and does nothing...

Nobody looks twice at a 60yo (or even older) guy with a 25yo wife... why should the males have a monopoly?

The best way to improve your written english is to read - a LOT... preferably well-written, well-edited books so that you're being exposed to generally 'correct' English. But if you can speak, understand and write in English, the odds are that your grammar is just fine for everyday and your 'friend' is nitpicking.
Facebook and forums in general are not usually places where 'correct' English is demanded, or even expected. People who are born and bred English speakers write absolute crud and nobody particularly cares... if you take your post here for an example, there are a couple of minor non-standard variations on grammar, (it's generally 'no problem WITH understanding' not 'of', and you mixed the tense a little - either 'commented that my posts contain' or 'commented on my posts containing') but it's nothing that we can't understand perfectly well. Practice makes perfect, and the computer's spell-checker can also verify grammar if you let it. Or else you can use your husband as proof-reader - just ask him to tell you WHY he's changing minor things, not just do it for you.

Nobody looks twice at a 60yo (or even older) guy with a 25yo wife... why should the males have a monopoly?

Nobody looks twice at a 60yo (or even older) guy with a 25yo wife... why should the males have a monopoly?

Nobody looks twice at a 60yo (or even older) guy with a 25yo wife... why should the males have a monopoly?

We didn't meet in person for nearly three years AFTER he asked me to marry him... we were friends in an online gaming community and I was having a very rough time and John asked if he could call me... after that we talked on the phone once a week, then daily for hours at a time. He was semi-engaged to a Canadian girl (yes girl, she was barely 21 and he was nearly 40) but the Canadian realised that they were far too different and dumped him, and I was there to pick up the pieces. He asked me to marry him in August 2000 and I told him he was nuts, it was much too soon, and how could we know we wouldn't hate each other in 'real life'... his response was to ask me again every day for five days straight, and I went from 'ask me in six months' to 'you're never going to stop until I say yes, are you? (laughing)' and he said 'nope' so I said 'yes'...
He tried to file for a K1 visa with a 'meet in person' exemption (he was working for a religious organisation for room-and-board and a very small stipend and I was in poor health so neither of us could afford the plane ticket from Australia to the US) but the USCIS laughed at him and (luckily for him) sent the check back uncashed and told him to file again after we'd actually met in person. So we talked on the phone morning and night and waited patiently... We weren't able to visit in person until 2003, when I spent two weeks with him. Then I came home and we filed the paperwork, which took one year to process. I flew to the US in November 2004 and we were married in his church just before Christmas... and if you do the maths, that was nine years ago. I got my citizenship last year.
Can you love somebody you met online? Of course you can... but love needs to be accompanied by (or follow) friendship, trust, sharing, and caring... and real commitment. It takes a lot of patience to marry somebody from another country - patience to get to know them, to wait for the paperwork to process, to get to know each other all over again once you're living under the same roof.

Nobody looks twice at a 60yo (or even older) guy with a 25yo wife... why should the males have a monopoly?

If you want to get in, wait patiently in Canada for a month or so, and THEN go to visit him in his established home with his established job... cancel the ticket you've got now or rebook it. Going with him and all your worldly goods when neither of you has anything established in the US other than a 'you can have your job back' promise is just asking for a denial/ban.

If this is your site, you need to finish building it before you give everyone the link - NONE of the 'links' on the page are active, including the one that goes to your survey... but people are more likely to give you the information you want if you give them more to start with than 'I want to help people, please tell me how you managed NOT to kill yourself'... I think it's a very good idea, but you need to do more before you start asking the general public to contribute - if you're looking for stories to build the website, ask directly, don't just say 'here, go see my Very Important Site' when it's not even built yet. It's not going to help anyone until it has more than a front page.