Marco&Bettina

5 minutes ago, Igsy said:

She gave herself the bruises by punching herself. It is really bad and frightening because I care about her and I don't know how she can be so careless. 

 

Thanks for for the help everyone. I am getting her a doctor , and a counselor for us. I know she gave yo her life by moving her but I didn't expect she would turn out like this.

 

and clearly shes depressed, I understand that, but I feel there is a misunderstanding. I want to send her to Russia to unwind. It would be good to visit her friends and family, and especially her grandfather. I'm not trying to divorce her or abandon her. I'm simply suggesting a vacation while she clears her mind.  It's better than having her feel "stuck" at home. If you're curious, she doesn't work, or drive.

 

im not even going to mention driving because I feel I could write an entire essay on that.

I'm glad you're doing something. I can assure you that your wife also "didn't expect she would turn out like this." But maybe you can look at it from a different viewpoint. She, like all humans, had expectations. Those expectations, whatever they are, are not being fulfilled. So, now she is lashing out. It is a cry for help. You are her only ally here. Think about that.

2 minutes ago, Ash.1101 said:

I agree. The OP may not see it, but there's a lot just in this post that can be taken as very selfish thinking.

The idea of her saying she can't go back, and twice so far he's thinking that she should just go back "until her depression gets better?". He clearly is in over his head or just incapable of understanding.

Completely agree. If he goes to her and says "hey ummm I think you may need to go back, at least temporarily", that will completely destroy her. She's already on the verge of catastrophic failure. I actually feel horrible for his wife, inside like a sad almost teary thing and I don't get emotional easily. It's just that I know the feeling of isolation, feeling truly, totally alone, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

8 minutes ago, Ash.1101 said:

I know that people are saying that he needs to work it out with her.


But what if he's part of the depression?  Just an idea, seeing as he sleeps on the couch and he's not mentally into sex anymore. She could feel very neglected by him and by the time he DOES start showing her attention she may think it's all for the wrong reasons. Being in a relationship that you don't want to be in but feel like your trapped in is an AWFUL feeling.

Also, did the OP ask where the bruises came from? While it may be shocking, I think anyone would ask where their spouse got bruise marks all over their legs and arms.




You're saying that she's not putting effort into driving and that "Our" life would be easier if she did. But she's not putting effort in because she's depressed and she probably doesn't care too much for what would make her or your life easier because she no longer wants to even be alive. You need to look at things from her very sad eyes, NOTHING in the world matters to her right now. 


Did you confront her about the message? 


Worry about her, then worry about your marriage, THEN worry about yourself. 


Do NOT "send her back to Russia" even if you call it a vacation. If she feels she's not wanted there, and then you send her off, do you really think that's going to make her more wanted? 


I dunno, something doesn't seem right with all this, there seems more to it than just her depression, or there's more wrong in your relationship that may have lead to a depression than we know.. I snore, kick, and take up 90% of the bed by nearly pushing my husband off. I don't think he's EVER considered sleeping on the sofa. 

I was basically saying he's part of the depression because of said behaviors. Only if he stops all that stuff and makes some changes can she pull out of it. I'm never of the opinion that seeking medical experts or psychiatrists or whatever will make a difference. Behavioral changes are the only way. Show a good faith gesture to his wife. Prove to her that he wants her. She will slowly improve then.

2 minutes ago, Kieron Stewart said:

She does live in Indiana,newburgh to he exact 

Are you both interested in marrying?

Just now, Kieron Stewart said:

Yes she is 

If you go through the proper process and get married, then you can do all the things you wish to do. I sincerely hope she lives in Indiana or is open to that idea, since you want that.

4 minutes ago, Kieron Stewart said:

Hi all I'm new to this site and I'm looking to make the move to the states to work but I also have a girlfriend in the states who I'm looking to be with also.Ideally I'd like to live and work in indiana.

If anyone can please help I would be eternally grateful many thanks.

Is your girlfriend a USC?

11 hours ago, RRR2016 said:

She is a U.S. citizen, but in order to apply for a Consular Report of Birth Abroad (CRBA), she has to prove her presence in the U.S. for a certain amount of years. I believe it is five years or varies per case.

 

'The Consular Report of Birth Abroad (CRBA) is a mechanism whereby a U.S. citizen who has a child while living abroad may apply to have his or her child become a U.S. citizen.  If you are a U.S. citizen and you have a child abroad, the child does not automatically become a U.S. citizen; rather, an application for CRBA must be made at the U.S. Embassy or Consulate in the country where you are residing'.

 

'Evidence of physical presence/residence The U.S. citizen parent must bring proof of living in the United States before the child’s birth in order to transmit citizenship'

 

 

 

The physical presence requirement for the U.S. citizen parent(s) differs depending on whether the child was born to parents in wedlock or out of wedlock.  The requirements are below:

 

Child born to two U.S. citizens in wedlock
The only requirement is that at least one of the parents resided in the U.S. at some prior time; no specific period of time is required.

 

Child born to one U.S. citizen and one non-U.S. citizen in wedlock after November 14, 1986
Before the birth of the child, the U.S. citizen parent must have been physically present in the U.S. for five years, at least two of which were after s/he reached age 14.

 

Child born to one U.S. citizen and one non-U.S. citizen in wedlock between December 24, 1952 and November 13, 1986
Before the birth of the child, the U.S. citizen parent must have been physically present in the U.S. for a period of 10 years, at least 5 of which were after s/he reached age 14.

 

Child born to a U.S. citizen mother out of wedlock
Before the birth of the child, the U.S. citizen mother must have resided in the U.S. continuously for at least one year.

 

Child born to a U.S. citizen father out of wedlock
Before the birth of the child, the U.S. citizen father must have resided in the U.S. for at least 5 years, at least two of which were after s/he reached age 14 (if the child was born on or after November 14, 1986).  If, however, the child was born between December 24, 1952 and November 13, 1986, the U.S. citizen father must have been physically present in the U.S. for a period of 10 years, at least 5 of which were after s/he reached age 14.  In cases where the Embassy questions the biological relationship between the U.S. citizen father and the child, the Embassy may require evidence of the relationship between the U.S. citizen father and the mother.  If documentary evidence cannot be obtained, a DNA test may be provided as evidence.  Sworn statements of the parents, by themselves, will not suffice to establish the biological relationship.

Now it makes sense. Didn't know all that. Thanks for clarifying.

7 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Makes perfect sense. I assume she knows when she was in the US.

Somehow this one is over my head.

Edit: I mean that if she is a citizen, she always meets the requirements to have lawful presence in the US. Whenever she wants.

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

As per initial post:

 

The baby will not have US citizenship at birth, because I don't meet the requirements for physical presence in the US

 

We plan to apply for a green card for him through London's DCF.

Still doesn't make sense to say "I am a US citizen" and then later "I don't meet the requirements for physical presence in the US."

47 minutes ago, Ash.1101 said:

Are we sure though?

Saying his wife applied for fiancee visa and that they received an approval packet to take to the consulate for the interview is oddly specific to K-1 visas. He also said that they applied last year and are ready for interview, so timeframe supports a K-1 application as well.

If he was AOSing, he would have been the one to file and there is no consulate involved and the packet he's talking about sounds more like packet 3 than an interview letter for AOS.


While it's rare, it's not impossible that someone may have sent out a K-1 visa for someone that's already in the country.



So just to clarify:

To the original poster:

• Are you currently in the US?
• Have you gotten married to the person you are calling your wife? LEGALLY married or just ceremonial?
• If you are in the US, did you legally marry and then file for AOS? or did your wife file for a fiance visa even though you are already in the country?
• If your wife filed for a fiance visa, where does it say the interview is taking place?
• If ya'll only got married through ceremony and not legally, did you know you can't apply for a fiance visa? You would have to get legally married and apply for a spousal visa. 
• Do you have work authorization from being a student?

 

This is what I was getting at. You just used many more words. There's confusion in what I was reading. So I think clarification by the OP is necessary if he's to receive help. Because if it's just a K-1, it's dead just with the petitioner deciding to abandon.

OP, I find myself confused on exactly where you are in the process. The interview you're referring to, is it the spousal visa interview?

He can file now. USCIS doesn't care for the I-129F petition. It's the actual K-1 Visa where that becomes relevant.

McDonald's pays good now.

26 minutes ago, Boiler said:

I rember waiting to go through Immigration in Washington, a plane load from a South American country arrived, did not seem to be anybody over 5ft.

 

At Newark a plane came in from Rome, I was in no rush and it was most amusing watch them elbow their way through.

 

United at Heathrow used to be next to whatever airline flew to Nigeria, now that was a spectacle, with the amount of excess luggage wondered how the plane ever too off.

It's funny watching people from all around the world. It's also funny when you just sit and watch Americans.

If you're legally married, what is the family problem about? You're married. Act like it and move on with your life.

Absolutely. No reason not to. My wife will do the same next year.

49 minutes ago, Toronto85 said:

Thanks spoke to the consulate explained what happened. They can hold till end of the year they said. We used to see each 1-2x a month and he came here a few times. So yeah US/Canada we are like 500 miles apart. Easy to get to, It’s just kind of like back to square one right now not with the visa, But the feelings.  But the process of rebuilding the connection. I think on his part was more cold feet and worried about the process of being the supporter.

 

 

NuestraUnion

Thanks for your story were you broken up for long? Did they grill you more in the interview?

 It’s been 3 months now. He is slowly talking again but it’s not daily communication. But small steps at a time. I told the consulate I don’t want to get back together in 5 minutes and another breakup happens. I want to fix what needs to be fixed.

Not trying to get into the realm of relationship advice or anything but how do you know you're not chasing? You said it was your fault it ended but then you also said he got cold feet and worried about the process of being the supporter. Now you guys don't even communicate daily. Is it really a relationship or just kind of like friends? I mean something may grow again out of it eventually but sometimes damage is irreparable. You should really think deeply (so should he) about whether this is something you both want to pursue. If you don't both want to pursue it, even if it is only just a little bit, then it's best to just move on. Time will just be wasted and there will be even more pain in the future than there is now.

8 hours ago, ziggyzaazaa said:

ok. thank you. I will just try to visit there then. I just want to be with him anyway possible and as soon as possible. I am still pretty broken up. but at least I know there's some hope. I'm so terrified of waisted efforts going through that difficult embassy after what has happened. But at least I will be married. It's truly what we want. thanks

I did not read your other 2 threads but I read this one and can say that I'm glad you're finally moving forward. Various hardships hit us all on this journey and you just have to find a way to move past it. That is always the 1st step. Everything else is just planning and working diligently to be with the love of your life. Distance is the only thing truly stopping you and it can be overcome. Money is another but with careful planning, it can be overcome. Everything works out. You just have to be strong and overcome.

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

Some seem to attract unusual patterns of relationships. Quite how PI hands them out so easily does confuse me.

1 hour ago, Georgia16 said:

I agree on that one.

 Think American government's past PI relationship.

21 minutes ago, Sabrina&Chuck said:

Yes why it is better to have the citizenship than not having it..the disadvantages without the citizenship are the thing they wanna know..for everybody personalized of course..thats a pain in the .. u know were

That's a tough one. I can't really think of any disadvantages for not having the citizenship, other than voting.

Check out this thread: http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=358266

1. Cannot vote in the United States.

2. There are certain kinds of jobs for which (s)he is not eligible; jobs
which require various kinds of security clearances may require US
citizenship.

3. Cannot serve on a jury.

4. Cannot get a concealed carry permit (assuming state of residence allows it anyway).

1 minute ago, Sabrina&Chuck said:

yep the reasons for why to keep it ..and ties to germany ..and why to have the other citizenship ..yap exactly this one

So you need to give them a reason why you want to become an American citizen?

Just now, Sabrina&Chuck said:

I do preparations ..plus I might be eligible for expedited naturalization due military reasons have to find out first..but having it ready to send off cant be wrong either. takes up to 6 months anyway

You're referring to the form you have to fill out in advance and send to Germany to retain your German citizenship after you apply for Naturalization right?

42 minutes ago, Sabrina&Chuck said:

Hey guys,

 

I'm about to apply for my dual citizenship now do I need reasons why to 'get' the American citizenship.

 

What good reasons are there besides voting? I'm Military wife too so if there are some good reasons I couldn't think about by myself yet.

 

Id appreciate every help.

So you can stop having to get Green Cards every 10 years.

Edit: How are you already applying for dual citizenship?