morocco4ever

I understand. I'm sorry that your journey didn't end up happier. Whatever happened to that royal jerk you were married to? Hopefully someone dropped a house on him.

I understand. I'm sorry that your journey didn't end up happier. Whatever happened to that royal jerk you were married to? Hopefully someone dropped a house on him.

I don't believe you love her, I believe you love who you thought she was.
A few have mentioned that you should "test" her. Why?? She hasn't passed any of the "tests" so far, so why bother?
This creature doesn't deserve a minute of your time. She is evil, and any man that does end up with her is getting one royal Beootch!
BTW, my mom had a stroke while my husband was in Morocco....he spent the entire time on the phone with me that evening until my battery died. I got extremely ill with a high fever while I was there. He never left my side. That is true love, and there is absolutely no reason for you to settle for anything less.
As for suicide....why? Do you really think she would care? Do you really want to hurt her like she has hurt you? Make yourself successful and happy. That would be the ultimate revenge.
Best wishes!

I don't believe you love her, I believe you love who you thought she was.
A few have mentioned that you should "test" her. Why?? She hasn't passed any of the "tests" so far, so why bother?
This creature doesn't deserve a minute of your time. She is evil, and any man that does end up with her is getting one royal Beootch!
BTW, my mom had a stroke while my husband was in Morocco....he spent the entire time on the phone with me that evening until my battery died. I got extremely ill with a high fever while I was there. He never left my side. That is true love, and there is absolutely no reason for you to settle for anything less.
As for suicide....why? Do you really think she would care? Do you really want to hurt her like she has hurt you? Make yourself successful and happy. That would be the ultimate revenge.
Best wishes!

Although it has been years since ours was denied I will never forget how alone I felt because absolutely no one here had it happen to them. I was so lost, and then I found a sprinkling of people that had the same thing. We waded through this process together, but it was months before I even understood fully what was going on. I don't EVER want to see someone else go through this process without some sort of guidance.
And to those CO's in Casa, yes my husband and I are still together. Married 6 1/2 years. So sometimes your "instincts" are wrong.

I love this thread.
If I remember right, in the Arab culture, the man is suppose to support the wife, and the wife's money is for her. So perhaps it would be in her best interest if she attempted to adapt to his culture.
But as one stated, he is in America, and that he bears the burden of adapting to our culture. So that being said, since he is no longer employed does she come home from work to a clean house and dinner cooked? Is he doing laundry, shopping, yard work? Because in America we share not only the financial burdens, but work around the house. If one is not working outside of the home they should be doing the work in the home. So if he is not doing these things, then what exactly has he been contributing to the marriage, and in what way is he entitled to anything if he isn't? How long did he work as compared to how long has she worked? Is it right for a man that has worked for only a short time to take from a woman that has worked her entire adult life? Would it be right for her to have to start over?
I am not saying the marriage was fraud, although we all know the statistics. What I am saying is that there are always two sides of the story, and it sounds as if the guy merely wants more than he actually deserves. I do get tired of hearing about human sponges, be it an immigrant or an American, that feel entitled.

I love this thread.
If I remember right, in the Arab culture, the man is suppose to support the wife, and the wife's money is for her. So perhaps it would be in her best interest if she attempted to adapt to his culture.
But as one stated, he is in America, and that he bears the burden of adapting to our culture. So that being said, since he is no longer employed does she come home from work to a clean house and dinner cooked? Is he doing laundry, shopping, yard work? Because in America we share not only the financial burdens, but work around the house. If one is not working outside of the home they should be doing the work in the home. So if he is not doing these things, then what exactly has he been contributing to the marriage, and in what way is he entitled to anything if he isn't? How long did he work as compared to how long has she worked? Is it right for a man that has worked for only a short time to take from a woman that has worked her entire adult life? Would it be right for her to have to start over?
I am not saying the marriage was fraud, although we all know the statistics. What I am saying is that there are always two sides of the story, and it sounds as if the guy merely wants more than he actually deserves. I do get tired of hearing about human sponges, be it an immigrant or an American, that feel entitled.

I love this thread.
If I remember right, in the Arab culture, the man is suppose to support the wife, and the wife's money is for her. So perhaps it would be in her best interest if she attempted to adapt to his culture.
But as one stated, he is in America, and that he bears the burden of adapting to our culture. So that being said, since he is no longer employed does she come home from work to a clean house and dinner cooked? Is he doing laundry, shopping, yard work? Because in America we share not only the financial burdens, but work around the house. If one is not working outside of the home they should be doing the work in the home. So if he is not doing these things, then what exactly has he been contributing to the marriage, and in what way is he entitled to anything if he isn't? How long did he work as compared to how long has she worked? Is it right for a man that has worked for only a short time to take from a woman that has worked her entire adult life? Would it be right for her to have to start over?
I am not saying the marriage was fraud, although we all know the statistics. What I am saying is that there are always two sides of the story, and it sounds as if the guy merely wants more than he actually deserves. I do get tired of hearing about human sponges, be it an immigrant or an American, that feel entitled.

From the POV of a USC female who married a MENA man, when you've grown up in the U.S. system and know how easy it is to fall behind on bills and get in a world of a mess, as much as you may love and respect the man, it's very difficult to relinquish "control" to someone who doesn't know the system yet and has ideas about the way things ought to work here either because they worked that way back home or that's the way their immigrant friends tell them it should work here. And teaching an immigrant the cultural norms and etiquette can mean a lot of correction and comments, hopefully constructive, in the beginning. Short fuses are normal on both sides. Maybe all of that comes across as controlling, domineering, and bossy to some MENA men. It's a difficult balance, trying to show love and respect to someone, while at the same time trying to teach them how your culture works and protect your (plural, it is hoped) financial security from decisions that may seem very reckless to some, including this particular USC female, especially if she'd been burned in a previous marriage. Of course, we haven't heard her side, so I'm only making assumptions based on personal experience.
If he came into this for the right reasons, perhaps it's not too late for counseling to help them see each other's points of view more clearly so he'll better understand why she's felt the need to be controlling (if indeed she has been) and so she'll better understand his expectations and can decide whether they're reasonable for her. If he came into this for the wrong reasons, all the counseling in the world won't save the marriage, though it might do her some good.

I love this thread.
If I remember right, in the Arab culture, the man is suppose to support the wife, and the wife's money is for her. So perhaps it would be in her best interest if she attempted to adapt to his culture.
But as one stated, he is in America, and that he bears the burden of adapting to our culture. So that being said, since he is no longer employed does she come home from work to a clean house and dinner cooked? Is he doing laundry, shopping, yard work? Because in America we share not only the financial burdens, but work around the house. If one is not working outside of the home they should be doing the work in the home. So if he is not doing these things, then what exactly has he been contributing to the marriage, and in what way is he entitled to anything if he isn't? How long did he work as compared to how long has she worked? Is it right for a man that has worked for only a short time to take from a woman that has worked her entire adult life? Would it be right for her to have to start over?
I am not saying the marriage was fraud, although we all know the statistics. What I am saying is that there are always two sides of the story, and it sounds as if the guy merely wants more than he actually deserves. I do get tired of hearing about human sponges, be it an immigrant or an American, that feel entitled.

I love this thread.
If I remember right, in the Arab culture, the man is suppose to support the wife, and the wife's money is for her. So perhaps it would be in her best interest if she attempted to adapt to his culture.
But as one stated, he is in America, and that he bears the burden of adapting to our culture. So that being said, since he is no longer employed does she come home from work to a clean house and dinner cooked? Is he doing laundry, shopping, yard work? Because in America we share not only the financial burdens, but work around the house. If one is not working outside of the home they should be doing the work in the home. So if he is not doing these things, then what exactly has he been contributing to the marriage, and in what way is he entitled to anything if he isn't? How long did he work as compared to how long has she worked? Is it right for a man that has worked for only a short time to take from a woman that has worked her entire adult life? Would it be right for her to have to start over?
I am not saying the marriage was fraud, although we all know the statistics. What I am saying is that there are always two sides of the story, and it sounds as if the guy merely wants more than he actually deserves. I do get tired of hearing about human sponges, be it an immigrant or an American, that feel entitled.

I love this thread.
If I remember right, in the Arab culture, the man is suppose to support the wife, and the wife's money is for her. So perhaps it would be in her best interest if she attempted to adapt to his culture.
But as one stated, he is in America, and that he bears the burden of adapting to our culture. So that being said, since he is no longer employed does she come home from work to a clean house and dinner cooked? Is he doing laundry, shopping, yard work? Because in America we share not only the financial burdens, but work around the house. If one is not working outside of the home they should be doing the work in the home. So if he is not doing these things, then what exactly has he been contributing to the marriage, and in what way is he entitled to anything if he isn't? How long did he work as compared to how long has she worked? Is it right for a man that has worked for only a short time to take from a woman that has worked her entire adult life? Would it be right for her to have to start over?
I am not saying the marriage was fraud, although we all know the statistics. What I am saying is that there are always two sides of the story, and it sounds as if the guy merely wants more than he actually deserves. I do get tired of hearing about human sponges, be it an immigrant or an American, that feel entitled.

I love this thread.
If I remember right, in the Arab culture, the man is suppose to support the wife, and the wife's money is for her. So perhaps it would be in her best interest if she attempted to adapt to his culture.
But as one stated, he is in America, and that he bears the burden of adapting to our culture. So that being said, since he is no longer employed does she come home from work to a clean house and dinner cooked? Is he doing laundry, shopping, yard work? Because in America we share not only the financial burdens, but work around the house. If one is not working outside of the home they should be doing the work in the home. So if he is not doing these things, then what exactly has he been contributing to the marriage, and in what way is he entitled to anything if he isn't? How long did he work as compared to how long has she worked? Is it right for a man that has worked for only a short time to take from a woman that has worked her entire adult life? Would it be right for her to have to start over?
I am not saying the marriage was fraud, although we all know the statistics. What I am saying is that there are always two sides of the story, and it sounds as if the guy merely wants more than he actually deserves. I do get tired of hearing about human sponges, be it an immigrant or an American, that feel entitled.

I love this thread.
If I remember right, in the Arab culture, the man is suppose to support the wife, and the wife's money is for her. So perhaps it would be in her best interest if she attempted to adapt to his culture.
But as one stated, he is in America, and that he bears the burden of adapting to our culture. So that being said, since he is no longer employed does she come home from work to a clean house and dinner cooked? Is he doing laundry, shopping, yard work? Because in America we share not only the financial burdens, but work around the house. If one is not working outside of the home they should be doing the work in the home. So if he is not doing these things, then what exactly has he been contributing to the marriage, and in what way is he entitled to anything if he isn't? How long did he work as compared to how long has she worked? Is it right for a man that has worked for only a short time to take from a woman that has worked her entire adult life? Would it be right for her to have to start over?
I am not saying the marriage was fraud, although we all know the statistics. What I am saying is that there are always two sides of the story, and it sounds as if the guy merely wants more than he actually deserves. I do get tired of hearing about human sponges, be it an immigrant or an American, that feel entitled.

I love this thread.
If I remember right, in the Arab culture, the man is suppose to support the wife, and the wife's money is for her. So perhaps it would be in her best interest if she attempted to adapt to his culture.
But as one stated, he is in America, and that he bears the burden of adapting to our culture. So that being said, since he is no longer employed does she come home from work to a clean house and dinner cooked? Is he doing laundry, shopping, yard work? Because in America we share not only the financial burdens, but work around the house. If one is not working outside of the home they should be doing the work in the home. So if he is not doing these things, then what exactly has he been contributing to the marriage, and in what way is he entitled to anything if he isn't? How long did he work as compared to how long has she worked? Is it right for a man that has worked for only a short time to take from a woman that has worked her entire adult life? Would it be right for her to have to start over?
I am not saying the marriage was fraud, although we all know the statistics. What I am saying is that there are always two sides of the story, and it sounds as if the guy merely wants more than he actually deserves. I do get tired of hearing about human sponges, be it an immigrant or an American, that feel entitled.

I love this thread.
If I remember right, in the Arab culture, the man is suppose to support the wife, and the wife's money is for her. So perhaps it would be in her best interest if she attempted to adapt to his culture.
But as one stated, he is in America, and that he bears the burden of adapting to our culture. So that being said, since he is no longer employed does she come home from work to a clean house and dinner cooked? Is he doing laundry, shopping, yard work? Because in America we share not only the financial burdens, but work around the house. If one is not working outside of the home they should be doing the work in the home. So if he is not doing these things, then what exactly has he been contributing to the marriage, and in what way is he entitled to anything if he isn't? How long did he work as compared to how long has she worked? Is it right for a man that has worked for only a short time to take from a woman that has worked her entire adult life? Would it be right for her to have to start over?
I am not saying the marriage was fraud, although we all know the statistics. What I am saying is that there are always two sides of the story, and it sounds as if the guy merely wants more than he actually deserves. I do get tired of hearing about human sponges, be it an immigrant or an American, that feel entitled.

My hubby spoke "internet Moroccan" to me for 2 years, and it didn't sound ANYTHING like that!

My hubby spoke "internet Moroccan" to me for 2 years, and it didn't sound ANYTHING like that!

My hubby spoke "internet Moroccan" to me for 2 years, and it didn't sound ANYTHING like that!

My hubby spoke "internet Moroccan" to me for 2 years, and it didn't sound ANYTHING like that!

My hubby spoke "internet Moroccan" to me for 2 years, and it didn't sound ANYTHING like that!

So true.....more women need to open up their eyes and really see what and who they are married too. Not just what they want to see.
And Sofiyya....are you picking on us American women again?
For the original poster, I do hope you keep up with the counseling. Perhaps his intentions are good, but perhaps it is the "honeymoon" stage necessary to get what he wants. I have said it before, and I will say it again, there are worse things in life than being single.

Congrats Noura! I saw it on facebook as well, but one can never get enough congrats on such a big occasion.

You don't really love him; you love what you want him to be. But, that's not who he is, and you need to accept that. This is not only about what he does or doesn't do. It's also about what you do or don't do. You can't make him treat you well,but you can treat yourself well, but that won't happen as long as you have him believing that you're not willing to make his life at least as hard as he's making yours.
Since he's so happy hanging out with his cousin, and not with you and your daughter, thrill him to no end by making that arrangement permanent asap.

Wow, this is so sad. I don't come here often any more, but I read your post and had to say something.
Any marriage is a challenge, and add a different culture into the factor can make it even that much harder. But there is no excuse for his behavior. To an outsider it appears that he is only using you for conveniences. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I have seen so many women fall into this trap. Then to top it off, you have a child together. That makes your decision much harder indeed.
Getting him out of the house is not exactly easy. He will try the "you brought me here, and now you throw me out with no place to go?" guilt trip. Personally I prefer to "get straight to the point" and tell him you want him gone. But that doesn't work for everyone.
I like the person that suggested that you do nothing for him. In fact, don't even have food in the house. Take you and your daughter some where else to get food. Don't give him money for anything. It would be interesting to see how long he has no where else to go when he isn't getting anything he desires from home.
Never forget, there are much worse things in life than growing up without a father in your life. Keep that in mind as you make your decision. He sounds like a total A$$ wipe!