PuppyLove

are you serious??? there are no jobs in pakistan, not even minimum wage jobs, much less an enforcable minimum wage and it doesn't matter your education there either just who you know and what connections you have. no racism in pakistan either huh? just in usa? what a bunch of b/s, racism in pakistan is severe. sorry to tell you but hard work is a virtue in the USA not something we look down on as something for the "labor class." hard work isn't beneath you because you have an education, get over it. go back to pakistan, you are never going to be happy here with your attitude.

Living abroad is not a reason why you can't call them. I'm living abroad too and just called yesterday no problems... grab a 100 rupees top-up and do the work yourself.

That is not completely true, if OP has solid evidence the marriage was sham and was just for immigration, she will not be able to remove the conditions.

Oh no! It's Inspector Gary Clouseau! Last time he tried this he harassed a poor abused woman and told her she was a fake. He used his "super language skills" to tell her that she couldn't speak English that well. And he never came back to say sorry when he was proved wrong, Poor woman.

Do you think its possible then that she has a shopping addiction? I'm not trying to be in favor of her or on her side, but I thought maybe you should try looking at different angles other than just simple scam (little strange for me seeing she is a UK national but not impossible of course). Its possible she has problems coping with her emotions (turning to entertainment on the Internet, shopping thrills, and drinking) and also feels guilty about her actions and in denial (blaming you instead of herself). It can also be a reason why she doesn't want couple's counseling (having to confront her issues and admit she is the one at fault) and why she wants to work on her own to pay for her problem instead of draining your finances even further. If she was really scamming you would she keep walking out so much on her money source and get her own job? Only you can think about your situation and all the details that you know and see if this side is possible or if you do think its immigration scam. Its up to you to decide how your relationship was for those years and how it is now. If you think she may be having problems with coping and dealing with her own issues in life then and you love her then by all means get her into counseling with you and/or alone. But if it seems to you that its really all about ripping you off then let go of her and go for divorce. Its a big decision so I understand why you wanted "strangers'" advice. You have a lot to think about.
Btw if you are able to connect with her family, try contacting them about her behavior. If you are wondering if she has some emotional problems they would be the ones to help you figure that one out.

Don't forget Pakistan with super long APs

No, I haven't read it anywhere. It is my own opinion. It seems that way to me. They are not issuing visas. They are holding on to cases. otherwise How come there is no sequence of visa cases being processed. There is no queue. They are issuing visas to very few applicants randomly.
Maybe my visa is not going to be issued for a while. It is very stressful. We can't stay apart. We are planning on getting together in Pakistan or in a third country. It is hard to move to a third country but we will try.

Visas are not being Issued to Pakistani male applicants. US embassy is doing Top level security clearance because this is the time when International soldiers are being pulled out of Afghanistan. We are stuck too
I guess no visas are going to be issued until the end of 2014.

Ramzan Mubarik To every Muslim

oh yes I think that's normal. Our case updated date changed that many times too in just 4 days after the interview. and then stopped updating. It only updates when We send them email to inquire about our case.
They returned our marriage certificate and all other documents back too. They kept my passport and police cert. I hope that they process it soon and Issue our visa. We are waiting

People need to be more sympathetic and understanding when responding to AP questions. I have been in AP for 5 months now and everyday has felt like hell. Yes I call, yes I email , yes I pray....but all I can do is wait. However, I dont need someone being brash with me about it. All you can do is stay positive. It is not easy, I deal with it every day and it is a very sensitive topic. People should be aware of that. We all come here to get answers and or support. No need to tear each other down.
What gets me by is the thought of our future when all this is over....spending every day with the one I love. That carries me through. Knowing that while it may seem like forever, it will be over ONE day, and everyday, I am closer to that process.
If you cant post respectfully and or empathetically, then dont post at all.
BTW, what is the difference between a mandatory AP and an Internal AP?
Thanks

to put it in a good words it made me a better muslim i pray now its all up to ALLAH when our time comes we will get it . i am praying for all of you INSHALLAH good news will come . hope is there ..
K N E . bro what can i tell ya . two of my family memebers - they both guys got there visa on the spot . and my wife on the other hand she wasn't that lucky lol . i guess its all up to the person who is interviewing and that desi uncle who is translating lol
if your AP wait goes over 6 months then you need to get hold of those people in ISLAMABAD . the best thing i would do is send some one over there . face to face to see what's going on . sending these emails an't gonna work ..

Don't just rely on them to fix your mistake over the phone. I would be sending in a new DS-230 with the correction and a letter attached saying why you made a new DS-230. Scan it and email to them too. I have done that before and they accepted my scanned version of the document before the mailed one arrived. They give a standard of 20 days to process any new documents you submit, sometimes its faster than that. Call back after you submit the new documents and check that they were received and the changes were made. Good luck!

You are taking things for granted Just visit Pakistan and spend a month here. Your American Nightmare will turned into a Dream again ! I assure you.

So where do you think it doesn't happen? What other country is better than USA ? Taxes are in every country. Illegals immigrants are in every country too Illegals don't get a quick Path to citizenship. That is not true

You are taking things for granted Just visit Pakistan and spend a month here. Your American Nightmare will turned into a Dream again ! I assure you.

Yes
I mean it's hard to eliminate every single thing They use alcohol in medicines too It doesn't mean that we stop taking medicines. We can't avoid that. we don't choose to take those medicines. But we can get Halal meat, not very hard. It's about your intentions.

Yes
I mean it's hard to eliminate every single thing They use alcohol in medicines too It doesn't mean that we stop taking medicines. We can't avoid that. we don't choose to take those medicines. But we can get Halal meat, not very hard. It's about your intentions.

Excellent advice - and I know quite a few couples who handle their marriages in the same way as your friend. To me, being in a love marriage, it's odd and strange. But, again, different culture, different expectations, different ways of life...

This really turned into a lynch mob...
Arranged marriages are common in that part of the world. So I don't have anything to say about that. If OP and she were agreeable to get married under those circumstances then that's their business.
I can understand OP is frustrated. He is living in a culture of marriage mates being heads-over-heels in love and getting it on all over the place. At the same time, cultural and family pressures got him married to someone he doesn't know - the same goes for his wife. It is better OP allowed her to return to India instead of snapping out of frustration (justified or not). If they want to salvage the marriage then it is up to them to try. OP wants advice? Mine is to make it work in a loving and kind way. Win her over.
I understand OP is in a bad position, in a culture of arranged marriages he is likely expected to make it work using methods that are unacceptable to the country he is now in.
FWIW, I have a friend from India who also was in an arranged marriage. In his case, his wife returned to India once the kids were raised - he was always stuck in a one-way form of love. She never reciprocated. He didn't divorce and just takes care of her in India while living alone in the US. I can tell he is sad but he is thankful...

I really don't understand how it's disrespectful for her to return to her family??? If anything, taking into consideration the cultural angle which you have admitted you are not familiar with, the most respectful thing is for her to return to her family.
The OP mentioned he didn't want to abuse her or be accused of being abusive, he bought a ticket for her to go home to her parents...I really don't get the outrage. If she had wanted to stay here or wants to return, she has every right and the appropriate paperwork to do so. If he was so at-the-end-of-his-rope that he was scared he could abuse her, it makes sense that they separated in some way - he did the culturally accepted thing of getting her to her parents.
I'm sorry if you think that that in itself is abusive, but that would be the cultural expectation given the other circumstances [being in the US only a few months, such a short marriage, etc].

are you serious??? there are no jobs in pakistan, not even minimum wage jobs, much less an enforcable minimum wage and it doesn't matter your education there either just who you know and what connections you have. no racism in pakistan either huh? just in usa? what a bunch of b/s, racism in pakistan is severe. sorry to tell you but hard work is a virtue in the USA not something we look down on as something for the "labor class." hard work isn't beneath you because you have an education, get over it. go back to pakistan, you are never going to be happy here with your attitude.

are you serious??? there are no jobs in pakistan, not even minimum wage jobs, much less an enforcable minimum wage and it doesn't matter your education there either just who you know and what connections you have. no racism in pakistan either huh? just in usa? what a bunch of b/s, racism in pakistan is severe. sorry to tell you but hard work is a virtue in the USA not something we look down on as something for the "labor class." hard work isn't beneath you because you have an education, get over it. go back to pakistan, you are never going to be happy here with your attitude.

I certainly advise you and your family to not jump to suspicions of your wife and her family because that is CERTAINLY not going to make the situation better. Give them the benefit of the doubt when they tell you she needs more time. After all, for a woman, jumping into sex with someone who is by all means a stranger is pretty scary and wouldn't interest me either... You should both work on the romance and getting to know each other before rushing ahead physically. If your wife tells you she needs time then give her the time because if you try to force her along she is going to develop some pretty negative feelings/attitudes towards you. You should be encouraging feelings of affection and understanding instead. Please share what makes you think something is wrong with her, other than the fact that she is not overjoyed at sleeping with a stranger she hardly knows (sounds perfectly normal to me).
However, if you are so upset about how long it might take for her to warm up to you, you can't understand where she is coming from, and/or you are afraid of responding poorly to her (yelling, abuse) then please just divorce.

I'm betting he isn't counting it as just 60 days - he sees himself as married a year.
Plus, he has suspicions [maybe founded, maybe not] that he and his fam were used to get to the US - we all know that happens. Hell, I'd run out of fingers and toes to count how many F1/H1B NRIs that have asked me if I have other gori friends that would marry them just to stay here - let alone random dudes that have brought it up in India. Jeez, just look at most matrimonials that list visa/citizenship status. It's great if you or your family is progressive/beyond all that - but, not all are. How many families still have dowry practices [which is completely illegal]?
I truly think it was better that she went home then have him go off his rocker and abuse her.
The question becomes if at this point in time it was fair for him to get her a ticket home - strangely, the fact of the matter is when the exact opposite is posed in this forum [foreign wife who has been here a couple of months and says the marriage isn't working out, she doesn't know what to do, can she get spousal support, can she file VAWA because he might become abusive, etc etc] many posters say "going home may be in your best interest, maybe your soon-to-be-ex will buy you a ticket home". In this case, the OP bought the wife a ticket home.
It's a crappy circumstance for both parties - I don't think the OP or his wife wanted a failed marriage. Maybe he needs to be more patient and it will all work out. Maybe it's over. Maybe she wasn't happy in the marriage, too and figured this was an acceptable to way to end the marriage [that he WOULD want her to go home and she can say "well, I gave it a shot, we were a mis-match"]. You'd think after a year, they would at least have an emotional connection even if they weren't physically together. Not hearing her side of this kinda puts all of us at a huge disadvantage about being able to make any real judgment calls [not that that is really our place to start out with].