Ginet

Unfortunately it doesnt matter that the charges were dismissed or that he was found 'not guilty'. The OP is correct to be concerned. The language in the policy is specifically designed to be left to the COs discretion.
Under 9 FAM 40.23 N1.1 First Clause of Subsection (B); Examples of “Trafficking"
b. It must be noted that, unlike INA 212(a)(2)(D), the language in the first clause of INA 212(a)(2)© makes no mention of “engaging” in any proscribed activities. Therefore, the term “illicit trafficker” does not require that one has been “engaged” continuously in illicit trafficking. Rather, it denotes a person whose involvement with narcotic drugs includes trafficking, whether primary or incidental
Since the standard of proof for this provision “reason to believe” is substantially lower than that required for a conviction, it has been held that a consular officer may have reason to believe an alien is a trafficker even though criminal charges against the alien which relate to the facts forming the basis of ineligibility as a trafficker have been dismissed.
The OP can find an easy to read pdf format of the notes for 9 FAM 40.23 here- http://www.state.gov/documents/organization/86950.pdf
(I believe if the visa is denied the OP should be able to appeal the COs decision, but it would be best to seek out a lawyer for assistance with an appeal of that nature- there is no waiver, it would be an appeal and it would take a long time - 6+ months if even possible)

I would imagine that the process is easier for those who are not doing it for love........ Love was the thing that kept me impatient throughout the whole process.. From start to finish.

I say kick this mofo scumbag to the curb now and run for the hills! Divorce his a%$. It is people like this that come into the country on the pretense of being in love ONLY to obtain a green card that makes it harder for people who legitimately want to be together. This man obviously cares only about himself. The fact that he made you pay to do the paperwork again and is trying to make you feel guilty for withdrawing your application when he abadoned you is just plain wrong. This man is just using you. Dump him, file for divorce, contact ICE and move on. DO NOT FEEL guilty. The only thing that you are guilty of right now is putting your trust into a con artist whose main motive was using you to get his green card. Don't let him make you feel guilty and try to emotionally blackmail you. Someone who loves you would never ask you to do anything illegall and put you at risk of going to jail. What happens to him after you kick him to the curb is not your problem.
I wish you luck with this.

He left during the initial stage of the immigration process and you didn't know where he was or anything, but probably you believed that love could overcome everything,well he showed with his actions that there is no love in his heart at all!. You could not control what happened to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happened to you. Do yourself a favor and let him go,divorce and move on. You deserve better.

I read something once that has been immensely helpful to me. Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
And sometimes it's difficult the first time. But when we see it, then we know. And when we know who they are, then you'll know what to do. It will be clear when it's time.