AstaMarisa

OP, in first place what I want to tell you, whether you are lying or not is, people CAN learn English or any other language from different sources, you can be just naturally gifted like someone else said. Good for whoever went to college, school, whatever to learn a language but some people just don't need it. I'm one of those, thanks to Backstreet Boys (lol), my old radio, TV, my old dictionary and my brain I learned English by myself. Perfect? Not at all but it could be! And I'm still learning!! Native speakers in EVERY country make mistakes, every language has slang and I really do not see how native americans here speak that good.
In fact, I don't know about everybody but where we live there are so many called "rednecks" and their grammar is terrible, way worse when speaking because of slang. The public schools here are also not that great and I see a lot of people here having a hard time spelling/reading. So basically, yes you can learn by yourself, great if you went to college but there are thousands of ways to learn a language.
Anyway, some people gave you good advice and in my opinion your husband will NOT love you more if you get your AOS done at all. There's some things that cannot be fixed, things will get worse. Just think, he will "lose" control over you and then things will get more serious. The fact that he is a military does not mean anything, their character is not tested when joining. You should follow the advice it was given to you and get yourself together, you need a plan to keep you and your son safe.
If your story is true or not, it does not matter. Too bad if it is not, at least you can see that people care. If it is real, good luck and I wish you the best.
P.S: And by the way, stop defending yourself though if you are really saying the truth. You do not owe anything to anyone in here, you got good advice already and this whole argument about your English skills is pointless. If you have any other question about the main topic, feel free to send me a message, I'll be happy to help.

Thank you, Peter Pan.
Some people have a talent for languages. Having studied English at school and watched subtitled TV all my life, I could pass for an American after less than a year in the US at 18+, a long time ago. Not the only language I learned like that, either. There's nothing suspicious about that.

When he filed the I-129F he swore to provide support for you (up to 10-years per the Affidavit of Support he supplied the NVC) and marry you within an allotted time frame 90-Days from your arrival).
Do you and this man have children together?
Does he abuse you mentally only (which is what we are seeing here) or does he also "physically" abuse you.
Have you made notes of who you have spoken to within the military? If not, you should be.
Have these people who should be "helping you" and your military family...seem to be covering up the fact that you are actually married....have children...are being abused?
Lastly, where are you located? Is there someone you trust to bring help to you? If not, get out your phone book and go through the yellow pages to look for abused woman and children shelters. CALL FOR HELP....let someone come and pick you (and your children up when you husband is not at home.)
The only way you will be helpless is if you allow yourself to be helpless.
We will be praying for you.

Many abusive people don't want to file for a GC because they fear that by keeping the spouse "un-free" will force them to rely on the USC so the immigrant can't leave. Many men also fear "independent" women (there are a million on this board) so in an extreme version, keeping them chained keeps them dependent on the USC. That way they get a wife at home that depends on them totally no matter what they do.
I find it despicable to attack the OP's use of English as a reason to attack her or her story. The question of her English shouldn't be answered by someone who "lives with a Russian" but by people who actually speak at least two languages. Someone who speaks only one language is not capable, in my view, of understanding what it is like to learn a second language and what is possible. When someone gets attacked they would naturally get flustered and probably reply faster and make more mistakes. For a second language, speaking is not easier than writing for all people.
The OP is very possibly a hurting abused person who needs help, and is making all kinds of excuses because that is what an abused person does. USCIS can make an appropriate determination regarding her story (if she goes that route). It's not up to us.
OP - you got some good info on your options at the start of the thread.

When he filed the I-129F he swore to provide support for you (up to 10-years per the Affidavit of Support he supplied the NVC) and marry you within an allotted time frame 90-Days from your arrival).
Do you and this man have children together?
Does he abuse you mentally only (which is what we are seeing here) or does he also "physically" abuse you.
Have you made notes of who you have spoken to within the military? If not, you should be.
Have these people who should be "helping you" and your military family...seem to be covering up the fact that you are actually married....have children...are being abused?
Lastly, where are you located? Is there someone you trust to bring help to you? If not, get out your phone book and go through the yellow pages to look for abused woman and children shelters. CALL FOR HELP....let someone come and pick you (and your children up when you husband is not at home.)
The only way you will be helpless is if you allow yourself to be helpless.
We will be praying for you.

get off her case, gary, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all, dang, you're so evil, don't you have anything better to do then monitor who writes what and play "inspector gadget" on here. geez

Because he's still being very controlling. He's essentially forbidding you from legally having a life in the States... meaning you will ALWAYS DEPEND ON HIM.

Your post is very insightful and helps shed some light on the way this situation might be viewed. I have to take issue with the above statement, however. I can tell you from first-hand experience that this isn't accurate. The police can and do arrest for DV based on nothing more than a statement from the "victim." The OPs claim that the arrest was based on the "first caller's" statements alone reflects my own experience. I'm sure some PDs are more professional that others.....but I can assure you that a simple statement can land you in jail, and run you through a multiple thousand dollar judicial process that can cost a year or more of your life.

OP mentioned before, that of course the military knows about her, but he husband is telling his commander that they are divorcing. for his CO, there's no reason not to believe him. squadron commanders are very busy with other stuff & wouldn't follow up on the situation. also, even if he would have enrolled her in the DoD system without telling his commander, he wouldn't know about his wife. commanders don't get the information: listen, one of your workers just enrolled his wife. my husbands command didn't know until we told them in person. the military is big. keep that in mind.

Если хочешь проверить русская я или нет, попроси свою жену позвонить мне. Только на скайп, потому что на мобиле денег нету, муж не заплатил. Достало если честно, 2 года терпела одного, пошла спросить как сделать документы, теперь опять виновата.
If so smart call me on skype (ask for name in message).
Honestly just ridiculous how people like to be mean. If you don't believe it why are you reading and answering?

If you use it right it can work. You have to put words one by one, like who+did what+... You can also check spelling on a computer. Or look at the dictionary if not sure how to spell. I'm already in a bottom of the hole, and I'm not digging, I'm just asking for advice. If you don't wanna help why are you here? So I sound too perfect to you? Guess what, I just came here, had my child, cooked, cleaned, learned English and tried to be a good wife. And trusted my husband as long as I could, until everybody started telling me what it could be like if he was more responsible. Yes, why are you here?

Thank God you came! I knew there are people out there!

I'm sure you would believe his side because that is what is going on right now. But actually his side is heard and mine is silent. That's why I'm still here with no papers.

Oh actually many people find it interesting, because when I came here I didn't speak at all. I mean AT ALL, I couldn't understand what people saying either. But I was young enough I guess, so it wasn't too hard for me to learn words from TV and use limited amount of words to explain almost everything with this limit. I also didn't have anybody to speak Russian to, so I had to learn or noone would understand me. I also had to go to hospital almost everyday talking to doctors (my son was born with the heart defect and he was in NICU for long time, and they didn't always have interpreter for me so... had to be strong and get into it). I also have a college degree so I use to learn new difficult things.. Well I don't know, I was just living here and learning from people. Thank you for your kind words and for helping.

I'm sure you would believe his side because that is what is going on right now. But actually his side is heard and mine is silent. That's why I'm still here with no papers.

I read your responses and questions and it does not sound fun to have to live with that guy. I have left to a shelter before and took my 2 year old daughter with me. They have resources there to make you independent, but you have to want it. It sounds like you want to try to stay with him. I hope he doesn't hit you? If he does, you are only going to learn the hard way and there's nothing we can tell you that would change your mind, but you did come here for advice. I know you can file the AOS alone, but if he let you go out of status, I don't know how you could explain that you have a "bonafide marriage" if he is dating other people and not even looking after you anymore and not even wanting to help you do AOS? That is going to be so hard...how would you get the money? And who will be your sponsor if your husband doesn't want to be? These are going to be tough....I don't knwo how you would become more independent without any status.....you could do the VAWA route like the others have said, but that involves pretty much leaving your husband. You don't have to leave without your baby....military is extremely strict and if they knew what he was doing...it would not be good for him at all....I think you are jsut afraid, but I don't knwo how to make you not be afraid enough to leave him. He isn't as powerful as you think. Domestic violence laws are such that they MUST take someone when there is a call out.....they aren't going to really care who started it unless someone is obviously abused...I don't know...I wish I could give you advice you would take. I would do research on what you should do, but trying to be independent in this marriage will only lead to him becoming even meaner and more aggressive and not make him treasure you more (at least not in the right way) sorry I can't help you more.
Edit: I left my 1st husband, not the one I came to VJ for

I learned English from TV, then I took some classes for 4 months ( 2 hours per week) to make sure grammar is in place - all that in a non-native environment. Some people are just naturally gifted at leasrnign foreign languages. Oh, and I know idioms, and slang from several English speaking countries as well, without ever setting foot in one.

and I am wondering. aren't we suppose to help people & not judge them? I feel like, that's what you are all doing right now ...
OP, you have 3 options:
1) talk with your husband about everything and maybe he's willing to change so you can make it work
2) go to his squadron commander. they will help you for sure!!! this will have serious consequences for him.
3) leave him, go back to Russia & start a new life
good luck on whatever you decide!

yup - 2 years is too long.
to the OP -
include the I-130 in your pile of forms. (He has to sign that, by the way)There are more fees for the I-130.
Good Luck !

Philippines have an Agency in US called CFO(commisions on FIlipinos Overseas) to help people like your case but you have to be a filipino, I'm sure your country has one like that in US too? To protect their citizens from abusive USC (very Rare though but it happens). If so, try contact those agency and asked for help.
God Speed and may you find help soon.

I think filing the paperwork is the least of your problems. You're in a relationship with someone who doesn't seem to care for you. I mean if he did then the relationship wouldn't be a 'secret'. He would have done everything to support you instead of treating you like a prisoner. And sending you to jail? That's not right. I hope you can find the help you need.

a photographer is a position at public affairs in the military.