Grant PDX

I have been in a similar situation. Not the same, but in the same zipcode at least. My thought after the cheating was whether this was a one time (or at least a short term) thing or if it was a pattern. If it is a pattern of behavior I don't think it will stop. If it's a one time mistake I think a person can learn and realize it's not ok to do it again.
That's the way I looked at it. I don't really have any advice on the personal side other than agreeing with those above who said take your time, don't make a hasty decision. I usually say if you have a long term problem, don't make a short term decision. Meaning if you are talking about marriage, generally a long term situation, don't make a short term decision, give it time.
Best of luck.
Edit: Ultimately that relationship ended but not without a lot of pain. After it was over I was introduced to my current fiancee as I finally decided that the trust couldn't be rebuilt in a satisfactory way, and I feel trust is the number one more important part of a relationship. My relationship now has a solid foundation of trust and I am very happy with my situation.

Guys, here is what is listed in the I-129F instructions. As far as the instructions go, it's not 2 petitions in 2 years. It's 2 petitions lifetime, 1 in the last 2 years. I don't know if the OP requires a waiver, as I don't know how many lifetime and I don't know if the previous petition approval was within the last 2 years. Again as far as the instructions go, it's not if they had two in the previous 2 years.
"If you have filed two or more K-1 visa petitions at any time in th past or previously had a K-1 visa petition approved within two years prior to the filing of this petition, you must apply for a waiver. To request a waiver you must submit a written request with this petition accompanied by documentation of your claim to the waiver."

The one thing that pops up from time to time is those few who seem to slip through without problems, even though they seem out of the norm. Some folks get RFE's for Letters of Intent. This isn't my first visa rodeo, and in my last one I had NOA2 without LoI's. The OP may get approved on one or both petitions with no problems. The information he's been given would be accurate in 98% of the cases, but he might be the one who slips through and gets approved without issues. Who knows?
In 98% of the cases he will get denied and have to start over, losing all the advatages of the less expensive faster green card process. That's up to him. The reason for switching was to be faster/cheaper and more than likely he will lose both and be slower/more expensive.
As he said, it's entirely up to him if he wants to follow the advice. We are concerned that he may fall in the 98% and have real issues later. He doesn't care and is confident he is in the 2%. If he is corret he will be back on here gloating, telling everyone they were wrong and he was right. If he's wrong we'll never see him again, at least under the same username, as he will be busy untangling an expensive time consuming and draining mess and won't want to give everyone the satisfaction of having tried to help him but hitting his ego brick wall.
OP, best of luck. Folks are trying to help. You're correct, following the very good advice you've been given is certainly up to you.

The one thing that pops up from time to time is those few who seem to slip through without problems, even though they seem out of the norm. Some folks get RFE's for Letters of Intent. This isn't my first visa rodeo, and in my last one I had NOA2 without LoI's. The OP may get approved on one or both petitions with no problems. The information he's been given would be accurate in 98% of the cases, but he might be the one who slips through and gets approved without issues. Who knows?
In 98% of the cases he will get denied and have to start over, losing all the advatages of the less expensive faster green card process. That's up to him. The reason for switching was to be faster/cheaper and more than likely he will lose both and be slower/more expensive.
As he said, it's entirely up to him if he wants to follow the advice. We are concerned that he may fall in the 98% and have real issues later. He doesn't care and is confident he is in the 2%. If he is corret he will be back on here gloating, telling everyone they were wrong and he was right. If he's wrong we'll never see him again, at least under the same username, as he will be busy untangling an expensive time consuming and draining mess and won't want to give everyone the satisfaction of having tried to help him but hitting his ego brick wall.
OP, best of luck. Folks are trying to help. You're correct, following the very good advice you've been given is certainly up to you.

The one thing that pops up from time to time is those few who seem to slip through without problems, even though they seem out of the norm. Some folks get RFE's for Letters of Intent. This isn't my first visa rodeo, and in my last one I had NOA2 without LoI's. The OP may get approved on one or both petitions with no problems. The information he's been given would be accurate in 98% of the cases, but he might be the one who slips through and gets approved without issues. Who knows?
In 98% of the cases he will get denied and have to start over, losing all the advatages of the less expensive faster green card process. That's up to him. The reason for switching was to be faster/cheaper and more than likely he will lose both and be slower/more expensive.
As he said, it's entirely up to him if he wants to follow the advice. We are concerned that he may fall in the 98% and have real issues later. He doesn't care and is confident he is in the 2%. If he is corret he will be back on here gloating, telling everyone they were wrong and he was right. If he's wrong we'll never see him again, at least under the same username, as he will be busy untangling an expensive time consuming and draining mess and won't want to give everyone the satisfaction of having tried to help him but hitting his ego brick wall.
OP, best of luck. Folks are trying to help. You're correct, following the very good advice you've been given is certainly up to you.

If anyone is still reading, I guess I would be hard evidence. My fiancee's son had his father's name on his birth certificate and had his father's last name. I was involved throughout the process. I sat with my fiancee in St. Lukes and went to 2 visa interviews as my step son was sick the first time around and didn't go; I also went back 2 times to talk to the CO on my own as the visa was somewhat delayed. We were asked about the birth father. My fiancee said he wasn't involved (true). No further questions were asked at any stage. I spent 6 weeks in the Philippines and flew to the US with them. Other than that one question they weren't asked by the embassy, they weren't asked in the airport, they weren't asked at POE about the father or any approval by the father.
In our situation the father hadn't been involved since the child was 2 months old, more than a year before the interview. He still isn't involved although he did sign to allow me to adopt my son 2 years after immigration. He hasn't seen his biological son in over 7 years. My son knows the name of his bio father, but little else. It's not kept from him, he just isn't involved at all.
I don't condone indiscriminately taking children away from the parent. As Artisan pointed out, I would fight tooth and nail for my kids (in fact after a divorce I have sole legal custody to both children from our relationship, both the adopted and biological son we had together) and I recently won an ugly custody battle. I would fight. I would fight for the father's rights. However, the mother has rights too, and in the Philippines those rights are the primary, if not only, factor. If my ex took our kids back to the Philippines I might never see them again, the custody decision in the US has NO bearing, I would lose my kids. Those are the mother's rights there.
This isn't an easy situation. There are two (or more) sides to the story. However, IF the mother was the primary caregiver, IF the father wasn't involved until he knew immigration was a possibility, and IF he truly only cares about the money - 3 very BIG ifs - then the OP should know that he will likely be able to remove the child from the Philippines to the US. If those if's aren't true, then I feel very sad for the child and the father.
However, to sum up, I am hard evidence of what the embassy has allowed. I am only one data point, however. YMMV

If anyone is still reading, I guess I would be hard evidence. My fiancee's son had his father's name on his birth certificate and had his father's last name. I was involved throughout the process. I sat with my fiancee in St. Lukes and went to 2 visa interviews as my step son was sick the first time around and didn't go; I also went back 2 times to talk to the CO on my own as the visa was somewhat delayed. We were asked about the birth father. My fiancee said he wasn't involved (true). No further questions were asked at any stage. I spent 6 weeks in the Philippines and flew to the US with them. Other than that one question they weren't asked by the embassy, they weren't asked in the airport, they weren't asked at POE about the father or any approval by the father.
In our situation the father hadn't been involved since the child was 2 months old, more than a year before the interview. He still isn't involved although he did sign to allow me to adopt my son 2 years after immigration. He hasn't seen his biological son in over 7 years. My son knows the name of his bio father, but little else. It's not kept from him, he just isn't involved at all.
I don't condone indiscriminately taking children away from the parent. As Artisan pointed out, I would fight tooth and nail for my kids (in fact after a divorce I have sole legal custody to both children from our relationship, both the adopted and biological son we had together) and I recently won an ugly custody battle. I would fight. I would fight for the father's rights. However, the mother has rights too, and in the Philippines those rights are the primary, if not only, factor. If my ex took our kids back to the Philippines I might never see them again, the custody decision in the US has NO bearing, I would lose my kids. Those are the mother's rights there.
This isn't an easy situation. There are two (or more) sides to the story. However, IF the mother was the primary caregiver, IF the father wasn't involved until he knew immigration was a possibility, and IF he truly only cares about the money - 3 very BIG ifs - then the OP should know that he will likely be able to remove the child from the Philippines to the US. If those if's aren't true, then I feel very sad for the child and the father.
However, to sum up, I am hard evidence of what the embassy has allowed. I am only one data point, however. YMMV

USC brother files i-130 for mom. Will take less than a year to complete.
When mom receives her Green Card, she files i-130 for daughter. Daughter will be under the F2B category (Unmarried Sons & Daughters over 21 of LPR) with a waiting time of 10-11 YEARS. She must maintain her single/unmarried status to stay in the F2B category. If she marries while the F2B is in process, mom will have to Naturalize first then file a new petition which is F3 (Married Sons & Daughters of US Citizens) with a waiting time of 20+ YEARS.
To see the current priority dates being processed for January 2013 Visa Bulletin: http://travel.state.gov/visa/bulletin/bulletin_5834.html

If your daughter is a green card holder and not a US Citizen, she is not entitled to a US Passport and it would be refused on those grounds. If your daughter is a US citizen and under age 16, she need permission from both parents to have a passport. If your daughter is a US Citizen,under age 16, and your state family court has awarded you sole custody, you will need to go to the family court and obtain an order permitting you to apply for a passport for your daughter. Your daughter may be able to be automatically a US citizen due to your naturalization after her birth and sole custody. If you have not formalized custody of your daughter, you probably should do soas soon as possible, for her sake.

Dowry is not being practice in Philippines. What's common is lifetime support to all of the extended family for hospital bills, tuition fees, electric bills, etc. You are expected to be everyone's emergency fund because you're the Kano and you have the money so it's your responsibility to redistribute your wealth. This is especially true for Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) or from somebody who's married to a foreigner. How much you give will depend on how good your future wife is at handling family pressure and has nothing to do with how much you can afford.
Check out this link, http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/232940-financial-support-to-my-wifes-family-in-the-philippines/.

There are good and bad everywhere, and two sides to every story. I married a filipina that I met in the Philippines on work years ago. We have 2 kids, one together and one she had before. Eventually she left me, it wasn't a money issue, I'm compensated reasonably well and her new boyfriend was unemployed. I can tell all the reasons why I think she left, ultimately I really don't know. I'm certainly not perfect but I think I wasn't too bad a husband. Her filipina friends in town are mostly my friends now. After our relationship was over many of them wanted me to meet their sister, or cousin, or niece, or best friend. So they certainly didn't think I'm a bad guy. However, if she were on here telling her story I'm probably the jerk and she's an angel.
My 2 points are: 1) people get divorced for many reasons. It's nearly impossible to say with certainty that only one person was at fault. Most divorces have some culpability on both sides. I certainly think my ex was to blame for most and I could make a very convincing case for that. But she might tell a very different story. If we want our next relationship to work, we probably need to identify those issues we have and try to fix them, or risk the same thing happening again.
2) If a person wants to go "get another one" you most certainly can. The economic realities between the US and 3rd world countries means even minimum wage earners in the US are rich by the other countries' standards. Again, the reality is that this opens doors.
After my divorce I met another filipina. I applied for a K-1 visa (my second) and was approved. That relationship took a nosedive after some unfortunate decisions on her part and I cancelled the process, post petition approval but pre visa approval. Almost immediately I was introduced to a dozen filipinas by my pinay friends who live in my town. I wasn't looking for someone else at that point, I didn't really want a relationship. But one of those girls caught my heart. I don't believe in moving on so quickly, but my fiancee now is just too perfect to let her go. And after my last couple I am very gunshy and cautious, but there is no way I could let Airen go. I guess I "got another one" and am currently in my 3rd K-1 visa process and 2nd in the last year. Hello waiver request.
Sorry about your situation. Life throws curveballs. I am also in the child support boat, even though I have legal custody of my kids (the one we had together and the one she had previously). That's the way the system works. Know the risks before you jump in again, anything can happen. We can rail against the system or understand the system. Either way we can't change it.
It does get easier with time. This is advice that I didn't follow myself, but for what it's worth: take some time before jumping in again. Figure out the parts that you played in making the last one not work and fix them. Be the best person you can for the next one and choose someone who makes you proud. Many marriages don't work, even within the same country and culture. Marrying a foreigner adds complexity to an already complex relationship. And both sides usually have a share of the blame when they don't work.
Best of luck, I hope you get the future that makes you happy.

There are good and bad everywhere, and two sides to every story. I married a filipina that I met in the Philippines on work years ago. We have 2 kids, one together and one she had before. Eventually she left me, it wasn't a money issue, I'm compensated reasonably well and her new boyfriend was unemployed. I can tell all the reasons why I think she left, ultimately I really don't know. I'm certainly not perfect but I think I wasn't too bad a husband. Her filipina friends in town are mostly my friends now. After our relationship was over many of them wanted me to meet their sister, or cousin, or niece, or best friend. So they certainly didn't think I'm a bad guy. However, if she were on here telling her story I'm probably the jerk and she's an angel.
My 2 points are: 1) people get divorced for many reasons. It's nearly impossible to say with certainty that only one person was at fault. Most divorces have some culpability on both sides. I certainly think my ex was to blame for most and I could make a very convincing case for that. But she might tell a very different story. If we want our next relationship to work, we probably need to identify those issues we have and try to fix them, or risk the same thing happening again.
2) If a person wants to go "get another one" you most certainly can. The economic realities between the US and 3rd world countries means even minimum wage earners in the US are rich by the other countries' standards. Again, the reality is that this opens doors.
After my divorce I met another filipina. I applied for a K-1 visa (my second) and was approved. That relationship took a nosedive after some unfortunate decisions on her part and I cancelled the process, post petition approval but pre visa approval. Almost immediately I was introduced to a dozen filipinas by my pinay friends who live in my town. I wasn't looking for someone else at that point, I didn't really want a relationship. But one of those girls caught my heart. I don't believe in moving on so quickly, but my fiancee now is just too perfect to let her go. And after my last couple I am very gunshy and cautious, but there is no way I could let Airen go. I guess I "got another one" and am currently in my 3rd K-1 visa process and 2nd in the last year. Hello waiver request.
Sorry about your situation. Life throws curveballs. I am also in the child support boat, even though I have legal custody of my kids (the one we had together and the one she had previously). That's the way the system works. Know the risks before you jump in again, anything can happen. We can rail against the system or understand the system. Either way we can't change it.
It does get easier with time. This is advice that I didn't follow myself, but for what it's worth: take some time before jumping in again. Figure out the parts that you played in making the last one not work and fix them. Be the best person you can for the next one and choose someone who makes you proud. Many marriages don't work, even within the same country and culture. Marrying a foreigner adds complexity to an already complex relationship. And both sides usually have a share of the blame when they don't work.
Best of luck, I hope you get the future that makes you happy.

There are good and bad everywhere, and two sides to every story. I married a filipina that I met in the Philippines on work years ago. We have 2 kids, one together and one she had before. Eventually she left me, it wasn't a money issue, I'm compensated reasonably well and her new boyfriend was unemployed. I can tell all the reasons why I think she left, ultimately I really don't know. I'm certainly not perfect but I think I wasn't too bad a husband. Her filipina friends in town are mostly my friends now. After our relationship was over many of them wanted me to meet their sister, or cousin, or niece, or best friend. So they certainly didn't think I'm a bad guy. However, if she were on here telling her story I'm probably the jerk and she's an angel.
My 2 points are: 1) people get divorced for many reasons. It's nearly impossible to say with certainty that only one person was at fault. Most divorces have some culpability on both sides. I certainly think my ex was to blame for most and I could make a very convincing case for that. But she might tell a very different story. If we want our next relationship to work, we probably need to identify those issues we have and try to fix them, or risk the same thing happening again.
2) If a person wants to go "get another one" you most certainly can. The economic realities between the US and 3rd world countries means even minimum wage earners in the US are rich by the other countries' standards. Again, the reality is that this opens doors.
After my divorce I met another filipina. I applied for a K-1 visa (my second) and was approved. That relationship took a nosedive after some unfortunate decisions on her part and I cancelled the process, post petition approval but pre visa approval. Almost immediately I was introduced to a dozen filipinas by my pinay friends who live in my town. I wasn't looking for someone else at that point, I didn't really want a relationship. But one of those girls caught my heart. I don't believe in moving on so quickly, but my fiancee now is just too perfect to let her go. And after my last couple I am very gunshy and cautious, but there is no way I could let Airen go. I guess I "got another one" and am currently in my 3rd K-1 visa process and 2nd in the last year. Hello waiver request.
Sorry about your situation. Life throws curveballs. I am also in the child support boat, even though I have legal custody of my kids (the one we had together and the one she had previously). That's the way the system works. Know the risks before you jump in again, anything can happen. We can rail against the system or understand the system. Either way we can't change it.
It does get easier with time. This is advice that I didn't follow myself, but for what it's worth: take some time before jumping in again. Figure out the parts that you played in making the last one not work and fix them. Be the best person you can for the next one and choose someone who makes you proud. Many marriages don't work, even within the same country and culture. Marrying a foreigner adds complexity to an already complex relationship. And both sides usually have a share of the blame when they don't work.
Best of luck, I hope you get the future that makes you happy.

G-325a needs your fiancee's signature. There are places all over Makati that can do photos. Pretty much anywhere you see a Kodak sign. I've had it done in a Kodak store in a mall. 8 photos plus the CD for about $5 is what I paid last time and I was in an expensive mall (Powerplant).
Good luck.

The letter is not normally required at this stage. It is frequently discussed on this board as something the CFO might require, but doesn't always. Every gatekeeper is this process has lattitude to request whatever they want. We ignore those requests to our own detriment. I somethings think the requests are out of line, not lawful, or unreasonable; however, ignoring them isn't really an option.
There are very many petitions for Filipina fiancees that did not include the parental guidance letters. In fact I don't think anyone includes them with the petition. It's unfortunate that this particular adjudicator wanted that info. It doesn't seem reasonable, maybe something else is going on. But if it's requested, even if we think it's unreasonable, we need to provide it. Yes, I hate that fact that the gatekeepers can make that kind or request a requirement, but we can't just ignore it.
The letters themselves are sometimes required at the CFO stage, but not always. The medical gives immunizations sometimes even if there is proof they've already been given. Some folks say that the US doesn't require certain procedures (i.e. some immunizations, chest x-ray when pregnant, etc.) and we certainly can decline them if the local medical says they're required, but we pay the price for that (denial). There are a lot of requests we can disagree with at many stages. We can certainly decline or fight any we choose to. However, as difficult as it can be to get a request that is unexpected, rare, or just outright ludicrous, we really have no option but comply and likely get approved or fight and almost certainly get a denial of the visa.

The letter is not normally required at this stage. It is frequently discussed on this board as something the CFO might require, but doesn't always. Every gatekeeper is this process has lattitude to request whatever they want. We ignore those requests to our own detriment. I somethings think the requests are out of line, not lawful, or unreasonable; however, ignoring them isn't really an option.
There are very many petitions for Filipina fiancees that did not include the parental guidance letters. In fact I don't think anyone includes them with the petition. It's unfortunate that this particular adjudicator wanted that info. It doesn't seem reasonable, maybe something else is going on. But if it's requested, even if we think it's unreasonable, we need to provide it. Yes, I hate that fact that the gatekeepers can make that kind or request a requirement, but we can't just ignore it.
The letters themselves are sometimes required at the CFO stage, but not always. The medical gives immunizations sometimes even if there is proof they've already been given. Some folks say that the US doesn't require certain procedures (i.e. some immunizations, chest x-ray when pregnant, etc.) and we certainly can decline them if the local medical says they're required, but we pay the price for that (denial). There are a lot of requests we can disagree with at many stages. We can certainly decline or fight any we choose to. However, as difficult as it can be to get a request that is unexpected, rare, or just outright ludicrous, we really have no option but comply and likely get approved or fight and almost certainly get a denial of the visa.

The guide is primarily for the original petition. At the embassy, quite a ways down the road from the original petition, there are a number of items that need to be brought to the interview. Some of those things vary depending on the country the beneficiary is in. Those forms will likely be needed at the embassy interview, but not at an earlier stage in the process.

It's extremely common in the Philippines when young single women have children for the grandparents of the baby to do a lot, if not a majority, of the raising of the baby. In my experience (20+ trips there) it's more common for the grandmother to raise the child than the mother, if the mother is relatively young and single.
Ann would not be "abandoning" the child. Although the US culture might see it this way, it's not the way the culture in the Philippines works. Ann, the baby, and Ann's mother and the rest of the family would see it as normal for grandma to do the primary job of raising the baby.
Many people I know who have come to the US do so without their children and later return for them. My now ex-wife came to the US with her 18 month old son when she came on her K-1 visa but that was against the wishes of my son's grandma and not the preference of my fiancee. It was only my insistence that made her bring him.
Different cultures have different cultural norms. We shouldn't judge others based on our norms if what they are doing is the norm for them.

It's extremely common in the Philippines when young single women have children for the grandparents of the baby to do a lot, if not a majority, of the raising of the baby. In my experience (20+ trips there) it's more common for the grandmother to raise the child than the mother, if the mother is relatively young and single.
Ann would not be "abandoning" the child. Although the US culture might see it this way, it's not the way the culture in the Philippines works. Ann, the baby, and Ann's mother and the rest of the family would see it as normal for grandma to do the primary job of raising the baby.
Many people I know who have come to the US do so without their children and later return for them. My now ex-wife came to the US with her 18 month old son when she came on her K-1 visa but that was against the wishes of my son's grandma and not the preference of my fiancee. It was only my insistence that made her bring him.
Different cultures have different cultural norms. We shouldn't judge others based on our norms if what they are doing is the norm for them.

It's extremely common in the Philippines when young single women have children for the grandparents of the baby to do a lot, if not a majority, of the raising of the baby. In my experience (20+ trips there) it's more common for the grandmother to raise the child than the mother, if the mother is relatively young and single.
Ann would not be "abandoning" the child. Although the US culture might see it this way, it's not the way the culture in the Philippines works. Ann, the baby, and Ann's mother and the rest of the family would see it as normal for grandma to do the primary job of raising the baby.
Many people I know who have come to the US do so without their children and later return for them. My now ex-wife came to the US with her 18 month old son when she came on her K-1 visa but that was against the wishes of my son's grandma and not the preference of my fiancee. It was only my insistence that made her bring him.
Different cultures have different cultural norms. We shouldn't judge others based on our norms if what they are doing is the norm for them.

It's extremely common in the Philippines when young single women have children for the grandparents of the baby to do a lot, if not a majority, of the raising of the baby. In my experience (20+ trips there) it's more common for the grandmother to raise the child than the mother, if the mother is relatively young and single.
Ann would not be "abandoning" the child. Although the US culture might see it this way, it's not the way the culture in the Philippines works. Ann, the baby, and Ann's mother and the rest of the family would see it as normal for grandma to do the primary job of raising the baby.
Many people I know who have come to the US do so without their children and later return for them. My now ex-wife came to the US with her 18 month old son when she came on her K-1 visa but that was against the wishes of my son's grandma and not the preference of my fiancee. It was only my insistence that made her bring him.
Different cultures have different cultural norms. We shouldn't judge others based on our norms if what they are doing is the norm for them.

It's extremely common in the Philippines when young single women have children for the grandparents of the baby to do a lot, if not a majority, of the raising of the baby. In my experience (20+ trips there) it's more common for the grandmother to raise the child than the mother, if the mother is relatively young and single.
Ann would not be "abandoning" the child. Although the US culture might see it this way, it's not the way the culture in the Philippines works. Ann, the baby, and Ann's mother and the rest of the family would see it as normal for grandma to do the primary job of raising the baby.
Many people I know who have come to the US do so without their children and later return for them. My now ex-wife came to the US with her 18 month old son when she came on her K-1 visa but that was against the wishes of my son's grandma and not the preference of my fiancee. It was only my insistence that made her bring him.
Different cultures have different cultural norms. We shouldn't judge others based on our norms if what they are doing is the norm for them.

It's extremely common in the Philippines when young single women have children for the grandparents of the baby to do a lot, if not a majority, of the raising of the baby. In my experience (20+ trips there) it's more common for the grandmother to raise the child than the mother, if the mother is relatively young and single.
Ann would not be "abandoning" the child. Although the US culture might see it this way, it's not the way the culture in the Philippines works. Ann, the baby, and Ann's mother and the rest of the family would see it as normal for grandma to do the primary job of raising the baby.
Many people I know who have come to the US do so without their children and later return for them. My now ex-wife came to the US with her 18 month old son when she came on her K-1 visa but that was against the wishes of my son's grandma and not the preference of my fiancee. It was only my insistence that made her bring him.
Different cultures have different cultural norms. We shouldn't judge others based on our norms if what they are doing is the norm for them.

It's extremely common in the Philippines when young single women have children for the grandparents of the baby to do a lot, if not a majority, of the raising of the baby. In my experience (20+ trips there) it's more common for the grandmother to raise the child than the mother, if the mother is relatively young and single.
Ann would not be "abandoning" the child. Although the US culture might see it this way, it's not the way the culture in the Philippines works. Ann, the baby, and Ann's mother and the rest of the family would see it as normal for grandma to do the primary job of raising the baby.
Many people I know who have come to the US do so without their children and later return for them. My now ex-wife came to the US with her 18 month old son when she came on her K-1 visa but that was against the wishes of my son's grandma and not the preference of my fiancee. It was only my insistence that made her bring him.
Different cultures have different cultural norms. We shouldn't judge others based on our norms if what they are doing is the norm for them.

I do see a judgment here, twice - "you're looking to not pay for something you got." That's not how I read this. He didn't know if she was eligible. He DID ask, and was told no. He accepted that and was looking for alternate methods when *they* contacted *him* to say oh you're in luck, we found a way to get you covered. He thought, "oh, thank goodness" - not knowing that the way they did it was to falsify a piece of information that he clearly gave them *accurately*.
Now, the issue is that if he had researched alternative ways, he would have gotten *assistance* with the situation, as someone in need of help because he did not have coverage. Anyone who has ever had a lapse in coverage knows that medical providers will work with patients of lesser means to assist them in meeting their obligations. Typically, they charge them quite a bit less.
That didn't happen for OP, because medicaid told him he was covered. So his wife's care was billed at full price.
Whatever you might think about the fact that different people pay different amounts for the same services, it's a fact. And the fact is, OP would have been billed less for everything had he used alternative resources to pay for the pregnancy.
So now OP has been billed at the "insured" rate and is being told he has to pay back at that rate. When it's not his fault that he was billed at that rate - he was honest and legitimately believed he was covered. Now what he has to pay back is way more than what his bills would have been had medicaid stayed with their original judgment of turning him down.
That is, in fact, not fair to OP, as it was Medicaid's mistake.
He's not looking not to pay for the care. He's looking to pay what he *legitimately* owes - which is the reduced rate offered to under- or un- insured patients. There's nothing wrong with that.
Just my 2 cents.
M