kittylondon

Oh give me a break! Someone cant be patient but have days of frustration because they miss the person they love? Is he suppose to be happy about being apart. Save the preaching on the flaws of our society for a situation that makes sense

Hey guys, got my interview assigned for July 30th at the London Embassy.. I'm getting nervous!
Can't believe all these RFE's but at least the approvals are trickling through also. Good luck everyone, whatever stage you're at.
Also, i love all the wedding dress chat - any of you ladies on pinterest?
K

What kind of ridiculous questions is that? No our relationship is not based on sex, but I guess me and My fiancee are unique but sometimes sexual topics come up! actually i take that back like me give an equally stupid response. mmmmmm yes our relationship is based completely on sex... that's why I thought it would be a great idea to find a sex partner clear across the world, instead of just someone that I can physically see and touch everyday! I mean really?!? Why would anyone in their right mind have a relationship based on sex with someone they don't EVER SEE!
For your information I have known my fiance since I was 8 years old, he was 12. We come from neighboring villages. Our families (dating generations back) have known each other. We went to the same church when I use to live in Nigeria (My parents moved my brothers and I to Nigeria so that we would learn our culture and our people when we were children, then we moved back to the states 4 years later). We both don't have issues finding someone from the opposite sex to have a relationship based on sex if that was what we were into,but next time I'm looking for someone to give me useless advice on whether or not my relationship will work out I will look you up!

You are the USC petitioner so the answer is no.

I understand exactly what you are saying, but in a moment of panic I reached out to a group of people for advice that I knew would understand.
Yes, it may not be a life threatening emergency, but when the person you love is scared and in pain, it's difficult to keep a clear head.
And me being there would help.
No matter what you think. Because he trusts me. Because he needs the love and support that only I can give him.
Can you imagine hearing the doctor tell you that you may have permanent damage to your leg, and not be able to have your fiancee hold you while you cry?
Jake is active. He is independent. The thought of being unable to do things for himself was frightening for him.
A doctor can't hold his hand and tell him he's going to be fine and that she'll be there no matter what.
They can't play scrabble with him or read to him to take his mind off the pain. So yes, me being there might not heal him, but it would sure as hell make it easier to get through.
In my opinion, saying ;I want to marry you", means I want to be there for you, no matter what happens and when you need me I'll do whatever I can to come running.
I have decided I am not going to apply because we are far along enough in our case to expect to go home soon, at the time i was unsure of our progress, but after talking to another south african member, I was reassured of the Joburg consulate's efficiency. However, if we were still far behind, and asking for an expedite for me to get to him faster was my best option, I have the right to take it.
We all do.
It's not an over reaction to do whatever you can to be next to a person who needs you.
I do have a thick skin regarding the process. I don't have a thick skin regarding my fiance's well being. And that's what works for us.
Some responses did come off as callous, but it's hard to gauge someone's tone over the internet.
I didn't take anything personally, because you don't know me and I don't know you. Everyone has different ways of dealing with things, and this was mine.
I'm not at home having a meltdown because a stranger came across as insensitive, trust me. 90% of everyone here has been compassionate, and I that's what I'm holding onto.

You know very well that processing in order and approving in order are entirely different matters.

that's awful, i'm really sorry. it's easy for people to get on their high horse, but i think most people would feel the same as you if their partner was hurt, scared and undergoing surgery! i don't know anything about the jo'bury consulate but if i was in your position i would probably just book a flight and try get there as a visitor - bringing proof he is in hospital, and of your scheduled interview etc. good luck and hope he gets well soon.

The emergency is that she loves her husband and he is injured. You sound like a very callous person. Perhaps next time you should resist the urge to respond to a post if you don't have anything worthwhile to contribute.

OMG... Can you say glass half empty???? I will take the 8 approvals from today and pray that means some people are off vacation up there... Sorry ya'll but I can't take much more Debbie Downer from anyone! Myself included. 8 is better than we have seen in a long time!

This kind of "woman blaming" is part of what reinforces the gender inequality we see in our society AND Latin cultures.
HUMANS are naturally flirty creatures. HUMANS seek attention. The MEN in Latin cultures are usually the initiators of flirting, especially in the OP's experience (catcalling on the street). Regardless, flirting usually goes both ways. To label women as seductive temptresses is offensive and mysoginistic.
OP, it sounds like you have been a victim of abuse. This is how things start - overly "jealous" men who like to control the women they are with. He was trying to CONTROL your actions - first, through his words, and once that failed, maybe through his actions.
I applaud you for being brave enough to buy him a ticket home, and I'm aghast that people fault you for getting out of a bad situation. The minute my partner abuses me in ANY way in my home, that ceases to be his home. Unfortunately, we have been conditioned to "victim blame" in our society, ie, "her skirt was so short, she was asking for it."
My own heritage is not American, and I am familiar with multiple cultures. It is not okay, in any culture, or any country, for your partner to control you and verbally abuse you. My heart goes out to you, and please know that you deserve a relationship built on mutual respect and TRUST.
Of course, you can't just turn off your love for him like a lightswitch, and it must be difficult to be alone after being together for so long. I hope that when (if) he comes back to the States, he will stick with the counseling. It sounds like you need a little time apart, and when (if) you start talking about him coming back again, you will see a change in him and will set firm boundaries. We don't know all the details of your relationship and if things crossed a line or not, but hopefully by making a commitment to work things out with a third party you can enjoy the happiness you felt in the beginning of your marriage.

Knope, I'm sorry to hear about your card being stolen.. that really sucks. I hope your bank can get it worked out for you ASAP! And yes, the US Banking system seems to be stuck in the 70's. I went with my fiance to his bank when I was visiting and he actually went in and filled out a withdrawl slip... I was like "What? Don't you just swipe your card?" LOL.
We don't have to do any of that in Canada. We also have email money transfer in Canada, which is very convenient..

Honestly, any DIY community like this one is not really equipped to help with a complicated situation like this. Immigrate2us.net doesn't have many people with experience in these types of situations, although you probably will find a lot more sympathy as there are a lot of people there with US citizen kids (or adults) with severe medical complications finding themselves in a situation where they must move the family outside the US, so they can understand that plight.
I think the advice you're hearing echoed a lot on this thread is important. You really need to talk to a lawyer who can help explore the options. Laurel Scott is pricey, but she's my lawyer and she knows her stuff. However, there are some less-pricey options, too, that I strongly recommend. Heather Poole in California knows the total ins and outs of victim-based and rare cases like this. Laura Fernandez, although newer to the field, is well-versed in these kinds of cases and has access to a lot of great resources for fighting rare avenues of relief.
If there is relief for you, it's going to be through a rare and most likely victim-based path like VAWA or even U-visa if you had a role in providing help to the prosecution in your wife's criminal proceedings. If not, your best bet is to keep your head low, try to survive with no driver's license (and no, it's not simply a matter of showing up in New Mexico and asking for one, they're taking serious steps to verify residency in-state). If you're ever detained or put into proceedings, you probably have a strong case for Cancellation of Removal, provided your children's health-care and educational specialists can provide supporting documentation. US citizen children are qualifying relatives in terms of the hardship arguments for CoR, and with 10+ years of continuous presence in the US, you seem to qualify, provided you have a clean criminal record. However, you can't apply affirmatively for Cancellation, at least not with current policy, you kind of have to wait for ICE to come after you, you can't turn yourself in to immigration (believe it or not), see this article by Laurel Scott.
Anyway, despite many VJ users' disdain for people present in the US without authorization (a point that actually makes for an interesting discussion in the specific case of Canadians), I would not jump on the advice to just leave the country yet, even if it were possible with your children. Most avenues of relief are dependent on your presence in the US, and whether everyone likes it or not, these avenues are legal and available to those who qualify. First talk to a lawyer like the ones I've referenced and see what they suggest. If they feel you and your children are best served by leaving the US, then do so, but otherwise pursue the available avenues in the US.

This is way beyond DIY. Get a skilled lawyer and fast. As Vanessa said, your only option MIGHT be VAWA. Otherwise, you either live here illegally (well, continue to do so) or you have to leave. I understand cold weather isn't good for your child's health but people with those conditions do live in Canada. Otherwise, you are free to move to another, warmer climate in another country. You know the saying - you don't have to go home but you can't stay here. But honestly - get a lawyer ASAP.

You are looking at a tough case, you are looking at a very long road, and the end may not be to your liking. Seek quality legal advise, not this DIY forum.

A couple of things to keep in mind...
The data on VJ isn't the most accurate since it's relies on VJ users to update their timelines in a timely manner. There are plenty of people who sign up for the site, start a timeline and then abandon, so that can skew the data.
Also, the users on VJ represent a small portion of the petitions processed by any Service Center and the SCs handle different types of petitions, i.e. VSC and CSC aren't just adjudicating fiancé(e) and spousal petitions.
Last, but not least, take time away from the site when needed lest you lose your mind during this process!

At least he is slowly building a resume. That counts for something. I do believe an accent can also hurt. But we do have tons of Pakistani medical doctors.
Believe me Illinois' problem is not due to Obama, much as I hate to say it. It is Michael Madigan and the legislature. Much like Washington. A pox on all their houses.

Why dont you blame BUSH

Women and Children First. Children before Women. Most people have children and can relate to this. It is not bucking the system, but the only legit way to express your concern to try and move things along for the sake of someone else.

wow, sorry for butting in to the feb boards, but i like to keep an eye on my friends' progress, and was so sad to see this post. mary's original post was so positive, she even ended it with a beautiful picture to try and cheer everyone up, i don't understand your reaction at all. it's not a pitty competition, and no one should be made to feel bad about trying to find light in their own personal darkness...
good luck to EVERYONE still waiting, your time is coming!

i love that our january thread is like 100 pages longer than all the others... so much supportive chat here, it's awesome! january filers rock!

wow, sorry for butting in to the feb boards, but i like to keep an eye on my friends' progress, and was so sad to see this post. mary's original post was so positive, she even ended it with a beautiful picture to try and cheer everyone up, i don't understand your reaction at all. it's not a pitty competition, and no one should be made to feel bad about trying to find light in their own personal darkness...
good luck to EVERYONE still waiting, your time is coming!

i love that our january thread is like 100 pages longer than all the others... so much supportive chat here, it's awesome! january filers rock!

At least I'm distracted with moving. I found the PERFECT place for us in Brooklyn, cross fingers we get accepted. It's so nice to see what our future home might look like, and fun to send him photos and get his opinion. Stick it to the man (USCIS)... 'cause my life is still moving on now matter how SLOW/STOPPED ya'll are. He can still come here until his interview if that's the only option.

This is what I got to come home to after being out looking at apartments. Now don't that just cheer you right on up?

i love that our january thread is like 100 pages longer than all the others... so much supportive chat here, it's awesome! january filers rock!

To apply for a change of interview date to an earlier one you have to send an email to londoniv@state.gov with a subject heading of your case number.
In the email you then state that you wish to have an earlier interview date and then give your reasons why etc and then you can also suggest certain days that work best for you.