meno-is-mine

I cannot answer your question, but I wanted to offer my condolences for your loss. Keep your head up high.

If one person doesn't want to work to help fix the relationship then you can't do anything about it. Marriage is one of those things that requires 2people to be committed, not just one. I also believe marriage is sacred and people shouldn't resort to divorce over everything big or small. This isn't the case here though. I believe that Saylin confronting her husband and asking him i work things out with her while fully knowing everything she knew he did was an effort to salvage her marriage despite the issues, but when one party flat out says they have no interest in repairing anything (which is the case here) then what else can she do? Cut her some slack and read all her posts and you'll realize that she did try to salvage her marriage despite the discretions. In my opinion, she did all that she has the power to do.

Oh man, I'm reading this and I'm shocked and saddened that its happening to you. My first instinct was to find out what the problem was and if he wants to work things out, but it seems like you've tried that already and he's expressed no interest in repairing things. He's just lost interest for whatever reason (mostly from this online chick) and from what you described, has no interest in trying to get back to where you were. He's done you wrong by cheating (emotionally or otherwise). He sounds like he's made up his mind about not wanting to love you anymore so why hasn't he cut ties already? The empty sex you described shouldn't have gone on long (and perhaps thats why he hasn't cut off yet). He gets to fulfill his desires with no effort on his part.
It saddens me to say this but it sounds like its over. He doesn't want you the way you want him. If he wants to meet up with this chick and exchange inappropriate messages, he shouldn't do it with you still part of his life. Confront him and just be ready to deal with what comes next. You're a smart woman, don't let this man or any other take advantage of you like this. If he can't love you the way you need to be loved, then he's not worth it.
I'm so upset about this now. Its taken me almost 30 minutes to figure what I want to say. Best of luck Saylin. You deserve so much better than this.

your "half-marriage" as u call it, or the katb ketab, is a legal marriage, assuming that you both actually signed the marriage contract at the ministry of justice (unless there's another way to do it legally)... that religious marriage is recognized by the US government as an actual marriage, despite the lack of consummation... many of the couples here on VJ petition for their husbands after their Katb-Ketab only.

your "half-marriage" as u call it, or the katb ketab, is a legal marriage, assuming that you both actually signed the marriage contract at the ministry of justice (unless there's another way to do it legally)... that religious marriage is recognized by the US government as an actual marriage, despite the lack of consummation... many of the couples here on VJ petition for their husbands after their Katb-Ketab only.

I hope everyone enjoys Ramadan with their families this year. May the fast be easy on us all in this heat!

Ok, I read it again. Still don't see that it's true. Maybe I'm misreading, but I don't think so. It's not an issue though for me. This isn't an argument I'm hoping to win. To each his own opinion/belief.

Ok, I read it again. Still don't see that it's true. Maybe I'm misreading, but I don't think so. It's not an issue though for me. This isn't an argument I'm hoping to win. To each his own opinion/belief.

I really enjoyed reading all these stories!!!
Our first time meeting was a little different. We had no prior relationship b4 our first meeting. My family and I were on vacation in Egypt and he asked to come over to meet this girl he'd heard of thru mutual friends. I was so nervous when I saw him. He was already seated in our living room when I walked in (like 45 min later!) LOL. anyway, i sat on the loveseat across from him. We chatted each other up a little, small-talk, nothing heavy. We would steal a look when the other wasn't until we locked eyes finally. it was very funny and awkward. He just kept looking at me as we talked and there was something in his eyes that was captivating. I saw him looking off to the balcony area at one point and i thought "Am i boring him?!" and later he told me that he was giving me a chance to look at him thoroughly without being embarrassed... HAHAHA After that first "meeting", we'd meet up some more until i had to travel back home to the states. I had agreed to get to know him for the next year (until the next summer when we'd go back to Egypt again). I insisted on no formal commitment or anything. He wanted to have a mini-engagement but i wanted a no-commitment kinda thing where it was easy and chill. (He still insists we were engaged during that year and I'm like whatever. LOL)
Seeing him again the next summer felt like another first time meeting. Since it was the first time I'd be seeing him since we fell in love and got to know each other over the past year. He came with a beautiful arrangement of chocolates and was dressed in a sleek lavender shirt with black slacks (I'll never forget how sharp he looked that night!) We made eye contact and it was so different this time... i loved him this time around... we talked (no touching yet!) We spent the next few of weeks planning for our ceremony/party. After the ceremony we walked out hand-in-arm of course (FINALLY!)... spent the summer together hanging out when we could...
I was leaving for the States again in September. He had spent the night over since we were leaving right after the morning prayer. The drive to the airport was horrible. I was sobbing the whole time. He was holding my hand and I was just sobbing... at the airport, my family had gone thru and I stayed behind to say my goodbyes with him... i was SERIOUSLY waiting for him to pull me into a long hug (at least!!!) i know a kiss was out the door, but in the end i got squat!!! ... he was almost in tears i could tell, but no hug or anything!!! i think we were holding hands (unbless i conveniently made that up in my head to not feel so bad) I told him, "What, no hug or anything?" and he tells me, "no there's too many people here and ur dad is right there"... i was too emotional and in shock that he didnt see me off the way i wanted (i was so disappointed!) he told me to hurry cuz my family was ahead of me... still shocked, i pulled my hand away from his and walked away... when i got home and called him to assure him we landed just fine, i told him how i couldnt believe he wouldn't hug me even... and he's like "its improper" ... i told him that in an airport ppl see each other off and no one is waiting around to see if the other is doing something "improper" ... later he sarcastically tells me, "fine, next time we'll makeout in front of everyone"... grr, he drove me crazy that day but whatever, i love him...LOL still like to bust his chops over that
HEHE, thats our story!!!

this is so cute... i pray for a safe and easy entry for him

Oh man, I'm reading this and I'm shocked and saddened that its happening to you. My first instinct was to find out what the problem was and if he wants to work things out, but it seems like you've tried that already and he's expressed no interest in repairing things. He's just lost interest for whatever reason (mostly from this online chick) and from what you described, has no interest in trying to get back to where you were. He's done you wrong by cheating (emotionally or otherwise). He sounds like he's made up his mind about not wanting to love you anymore so why hasn't he cut ties already? The empty sex you described shouldn't have gone on long (and perhaps thats why he hasn't cut off yet). He gets to fulfill his desires with no effort on his part.
It saddens me to say this but it sounds like its over. He doesn't want you the way you want him. If he wants to meet up with this chick and exchange inappropriate messages, he shouldn't do it with you still part of his life. Confront him and just be ready to deal with what comes next. You're a smart woman, don't let this man or any other take advantage of you like this. If he can't love you the way you need to be loved, then he's not worth it.
I'm so upset about this now. Its taken me almost 30 minutes to figure what I want to say. Best of luck Saylin. You deserve so much better than this.

I agree that the issue with most couples is lack of good communication and some of that is due to feeling shame in the subject matter. I do think the issue of sex is very taboo in Egyptian culture, but it shouldnt be. There was a documentary i saw once about a sex therapist and trying to voice female concerns with regards to sex and it was mentioned that bad sex is a reason for many divorces. Some women are unsatisfied, some are unwilling to communicate their needs, and men are either selfish or just don't know what their women really want. In the documentary, they took to the streets to ask many men and women their thoughts on the subject and so many people would get embarrassed upon hearing that it was about sex and would walk away. But I think that one shouldn't get embarrassed to communicate to their partner what they like or need.
I agree with you Darnell. I think anyone can be taught.

Oh man, I'm reading this and I'm shocked and saddened that its happening to you. My first instinct was to find out what the problem was and if he wants to work things out, but it seems like you've tried that already and he's expressed no interest in repairing things. He's just lost interest for whatever reason (mostly from this online chick) and from what you described, has no interest in trying to get back to where you were. He's done you wrong by cheating (emotionally or otherwise). He sounds like he's made up his mind about not wanting to love you anymore so why hasn't he cut ties already? The empty sex you described shouldn't have gone on long (and perhaps thats why he hasn't cut off yet). He gets to fulfill his desires with no effort on his part.
It saddens me to say this but it sounds like its over. He doesn't want you the way you want him. If he wants to meet up with this chick and exchange inappropriate messages, he shouldn't do it with you still part of his life. Confront him and just be ready to deal with what comes next. You're a smart woman, don't let this man or any other take advantage of you like this. If he can't love you the way you need to be loved, then he's not worth it.
I'm so upset about this now. Its taken me almost 30 minutes to figure what I want to say. Best of luck Saylin. You deserve so much better than this.

Oh man, I'm reading this and I'm shocked and saddened that its happening to you. My first instinct was to find out what the problem was and if he wants to work things out, but it seems like you've tried that already and he's expressed no interest in repairing things. He's just lost interest for whatever reason (mostly from this online chick) and from what you described, has no interest in trying to get back to where you were. He's done you wrong by cheating (emotionally or otherwise). He sounds like he's made up his mind about not wanting to love you anymore so why hasn't he cut ties already? The empty sex you described shouldn't have gone on long (and perhaps thats why he hasn't cut off yet). He gets to fulfill his desires with no effort on his part.
It saddens me to say this but it sounds like its over. He doesn't want you the way you want him. If he wants to meet up with this chick and exchange inappropriate messages, he shouldn't do it with you still part of his life. Confront him and just be ready to deal with what comes next. You're a smart woman, don't let this man or any other take advantage of you like this. If he can't love you the way you need to be loved, then he's not worth it.
I'm so upset about this now. Its taken me almost 30 minutes to figure what I want to say. Best of luck Saylin. You deserve so much better than this.

You can download and fill it out. When the time comes for you to pay the fee, you will be able to print out a barcoded cover sheet with your case number in it and this sheet gets attached to the front of the packet you will send to NVC. Don't forget to sign and date part I only (dont sign part II)..

perhaps a car is in your future
I say do whatever works for you. You can build up to talking face to face with time... this is good progress however the mode of communication...

I am reminded of some good advice...'when people show you who they really are, believe them'. I think I heard Oprah mention this one day and it is certainly true. As much as we want things to be a certain way, we can only change ourselves.

If one person doesn't want to work to help fix the relationship then you can't do anything about it. Marriage is one of those things that requires 2people to be committed, not just one. I also believe marriage is sacred and people shouldn't resort to divorce over everything big or small. This isn't the case here though. I believe that Saylin confronting her husband and asking him i work things out with her while fully knowing everything she knew he did was an effort to salvage her marriage despite the issues, but when one party flat out says they have no interest in repairing anything (which is the case here) then what else can she do? Cut her some slack and read all her posts and you'll realize that she did try to salvage her marriage despite the discretions. In my opinion, she did all that she has the power to do.

I was a bit more relieved to learn that there were no REAL children involved. Being kind of a male pig, I hadn't considered the WoW side of things. Pardon my boorishness.
Your "world" is not crashing down. You are ridding yourself of a person who could not care less about you. He would prefer to "take a shower" with pixels and tosses you aside. What are you losing? Do you not deserve someone that treats you well and makes you the center of his world? You do. If you ask me it is his loss, not yours. Such a shame for him to throw away something so rare and valuable ...but idiots walk among us.
Now lookie here, you are going to get over this, sooner or later. Sooner is better.

Oh man, I'm reading this and I'm shocked and saddened that its happening to you. My first instinct was to find out what the problem was and if he wants to work things out, but it seems like you've tried that already and he's expressed no interest in repairing things. He's just lost interest for whatever reason (mostly from this online chick) and from what you described, has no interest in trying to get back to where you were. He's done you wrong by cheating (emotionally or otherwise). He sounds like he's made up his mind about not wanting to love you anymore so why hasn't he cut ties already? The empty sex you described shouldn't have gone on long (and perhaps thats why he hasn't cut off yet). He gets to fulfill his desires with no effort on his part.
It saddens me to say this but it sounds like its over. He doesn't want you the way you want him. If he wants to meet up with this chick and exchange inappropriate messages, he shouldn't do it with you still part of his life. Confront him and just be ready to deal with what comes next. You're a smart woman, don't let this man or any other take advantage of you like this. If he can't love you the way you need to be loved, then he's not worth it.
I'm so upset about this now. Its taken me almost 30 minutes to figure what I want to say. Best of luck Saylin. You deserve so much better than this.

Oh man, I'm reading this and I'm shocked and saddened that its happening to you. My first instinct was to find out what the problem was and if he wants to work things out, but it seems like you've tried that already and he's expressed no interest in repairing things. He's just lost interest for whatever reason (mostly from this online chick) and from what you described, has no interest in trying to get back to where you were. He's done you wrong by cheating (emotionally or otherwise). He sounds like he's made up his mind about not wanting to love you anymore so why hasn't he cut ties already? The empty sex you described shouldn't have gone on long (and perhaps thats why he hasn't cut off yet). He gets to fulfill his desires with no effort on his part.
It saddens me to say this but it sounds like its over. He doesn't want you the way you want him. If he wants to meet up with this chick and exchange inappropriate messages, he shouldn't do it with you still part of his life. Confront him and just be ready to deal with what comes next. You're a smart woman, don't let this man or any other take advantage of you like this. If he can't love you the way you need to be loved, then he's not worth it.
I'm so upset about this now. Its taken me almost 30 minutes to figure what I want to say. Best of luck Saylin. You deserve so much better than this.

Oh man, I'm reading this and I'm shocked and saddened that its happening to you. My first instinct was to find out what the problem was and if he wants to work things out, but it seems like you've tried that already and he's expressed no interest in repairing things. He's just lost interest for whatever reason (mostly from this online chick) and from what you described, has no interest in trying to get back to where you were. He's done you wrong by cheating (emotionally or otherwise). He sounds like he's made up his mind about not wanting to love you anymore so why hasn't he cut ties already? The empty sex you described shouldn't have gone on long (and perhaps thats why he hasn't cut off yet). He gets to fulfill his desires with no effort on his part.
It saddens me to say this but it sounds like its over. He doesn't want you the way you want him. If he wants to meet up with this chick and exchange inappropriate messages, he shouldn't do it with you still part of his life. Confront him and just be ready to deal with what comes next. You're a smart woman, don't let this man or any other take advantage of you like this. If he can't love you the way you need to be loved, then he's not worth it.
I'm so upset about this now. Its taken me almost 30 minutes to figure what I want to say. Best of luck Saylin. You deserve so much better than this.

Oh man, I'm reading this and I'm shocked and saddened that its happening to you. My first instinct was to find out what the problem was and if he wants to work things out, but it seems like you've tried that already and he's expressed no interest in repairing things. He's just lost interest for whatever reason (mostly from this online chick) and from what you described, has no interest in trying to get back to where you were. He's done you wrong by cheating (emotionally or otherwise). He sounds like he's made up his mind about not wanting to love you anymore so why hasn't he cut ties already? The empty sex you described shouldn't have gone on long (and perhaps thats why he hasn't cut off yet). He gets to fulfill his desires with no effort on his part.
It saddens me to say this but it sounds like its over. He doesn't want you the way you want him. If he wants to meet up with this chick and exchange inappropriate messages, he shouldn't do it with you still part of his life. Confront him and just be ready to deal with what comes next. You're a smart woman, don't let this man or any other take advantage of you like this. If he can't love you the way you need to be loved, then he's not worth it.
I'm so upset about this now. Its taken me almost 30 minutes to figure what I want to say. Best of luck Saylin. You deserve so much better than this.

Oh man, I'm reading this and I'm shocked and saddened that its happening to you. My first instinct was to find out what the problem was and if he wants to work things out, but it seems like you've tried that already and he's expressed no interest in repairing things. He's just lost interest for whatever reason (mostly from this online chick) and from what you described, has no interest in trying to get back to where you were. He's done you wrong by cheating (emotionally or otherwise). He sounds like he's made up his mind about not wanting to love you anymore so why hasn't he cut ties already? The empty sex you described shouldn't have gone on long (and perhaps thats why he hasn't cut off yet). He gets to fulfill his desires with no effort on his part.
It saddens me to say this but it sounds like its over. He doesn't want you the way you want him. If he wants to meet up with this chick and exchange inappropriate messages, he shouldn't do it with you still part of his life. Confront him and just be ready to deal with what comes next. You're a smart woman, don't let this man or any other take advantage of you like this. If he can't love you the way you need to be loved, then he's not worth it.
I'm so upset about this now. Its taken me almost 30 minutes to figure what I want to say. Best of luck Saylin. You deserve so much better than this.