Olomi_811

Thank you for rubbing salt on my wounds. I pray no one close to you have the same experience I had. God bless you.

You can only judge your wife on being a liar if she's lied to you about things during your marriage. She was not obligated to tell you about that relationship or any other. You kept digging for what you wanted to hear and now that you heard it you are crying fraud. Since this was an arranged marriage not one of chance meeting or true love couldn't you also be accused of perpetuating a fraud? Perhaps she was ashamed and she knew that that relationship was going nowhere. It's not something she would not disclose to you, your family, or her family.
If you want to challenge moral turpitude you must also call your own into question.

Did they give any specifics why denied ... I was just a little curious....

Obviously you were together recently and the baby you carry is proof. If they fight you over the fact that there is no proof on his end, you might want to consider DNA testing to prove your case. Yes, it's gonna cost money, but it also costs money to go through the process again.

Even if he can get it done, $800 is cheaper than the $875 that we paid and she had to go to Abuja.
Is it right, is it proper, was I scammed? The answer is an individual choice but I just want to get my baby out of there so that we can get on with our lives. I consider it as part of the total cost of immigration. 50 years from now when yah all are rocking on the porch watching the Grand kids play, will you remember that money? Focus on the long term goal.
Additionally, don't get discouraged by those that are confusing renewals/reissues with corrections. They are different animals and the cost varies.
IMHO, the important thing is not the money (deduct that from your Fiance side of the monthly hobby spending), but to make sure that this is only a one time deal and that he gets a genuine passport.
One more thing, be wary of advice on the web, including mine. Even though most mean well and their posts may come from a well meaning place, but remember that there is a preset suspicion on Nigerians at large, especially on VJ.
Good luck to you Guys and please tell him to be careful on the trip to Abuja. I was more frantic about the dangers of the trip more than the money actually.

Being from a place does not mean you know all the nuances of that place. In Nigeria, the moment someone learns that you are married to an American all the rules/costs change drastically. All of a sudden, "friends" know more about the visa process than you and have an abundance of misinformation to pass along as though it's gospel. Before we got married and were just looking at doing a vistor's visa my husband went to see a "travel agent" who told him the visa could be approved if he showed he had travelled outside of Nigeria and went back...NOT! "Let your husband bear the cost since he's working." Memlaura is doing what she can as a wife to help their journey move along and I'm sure her husband is doing the same. The cost of marriage is bearing it together. $300 in Naira is no small amount to come by.
It is always best for our Nigerian spouses to go inquire from themselves. If he were trying to scam. He would have told her it was $800 and no conversation about what his friend told him.
(Have fun on your trip!)

Please do not judge, you are not in Nigeria and dont know the circumstance. Do not spoil or end a relationship/ marriage. Focus on building yours. If you cannot advise appropriately just stay silent. I am sure the wife will know when she is being milked

Listen and Listen well. I had to make corrections on my e-passport just this last May 2012 because of a silly mistake an immigration officer did on my passport. instead of inputting 16 on my birthdate, he inputted 06. in short . I had to travel to Abuja for a reissue. it cost me close to 45 thousand naira. I am not trying to scare you. l currently stay in Nigeria and what i am telling you in the real truth. you might be able to haggle and bargain for something less but I am ####### sure it can never be less than 20k Naira and your spouse must be ready to submit the old one with evidences to prove that the error is not a fault of his. it is not like the bussiness as usual thing again. i hope I have not scared you in anyway. Have a great Day.

Wait until she is single3-4 mths wont makea difference & U R together.

I'm going for the sake of educating...LAW ABIDING CITIZEN.
OP I can't provide any advice on something I know nothing about. I can only wish you the best in rectifying the situation.

It's ok to vent, but please don't play the blame game. When you do you only hurt your marriage and you can never take back anything you say in anger to him. This process is hard on relationships. Make some friends that you trust to help you stay focused. My husband said last night, "I think having a drivers license for ID is the best way to go." I gave his stubborn behind the driving manual 3 months ago! I kept doing what I was doing and I didn't even acknowledge that he said it! Sometimes they have to realize things on their own and you can't spoon feed them everything.
Hang in there soon everything will come together.

It's ok to vent, but please don't play the blame game. When you do you only hurt your marriage and you can never take back anything you say in anger to him. This process is hard on relationships. Make some friends that you trust to help you stay focused. My husband said last night, "I think having a drivers license for ID is the best way to go." I gave his stubborn behind the driving manual 3 months ago! I kept doing what I was doing and I didn't even acknowledge that he said it! Sometimes they have to realize things on their own and you can't spoon feed them everything.
Hang in there soon everything will come together.

Agreed.
VJ needs a red flag emoticon for situations like this one.

OK...I don't care if I get thread banned. Cases like this are the reason immigration is so difficult for people with BONAFIDE marriages and relationships to get through this broken system of ours. I will be the one to pass judgement. You just withdrew a petition for K1, now you're in "love" with a woman who has barely been married on a k1 to a different man and you want advice from those of us who would do anything to have our SO with us??? Those of us who have done everything legally, who love and miss our SO. Who have been separated for months, some couples for years. Couples like my husband and I, who did everything by the book,went through the entire process start to finish only to be told that we are in the black hole of administrative processing, we have to wait until the process is done. It has already been 2 months since we have been put in AP, and it could be months and months more before his visa is issued, we just don't know. We have spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on travel expenses for me to go to see him every 3 or 4 months just so we can spend a few weeks together as a married couple in the same country, countless hours on skype and msn, phone and texting. the list goes on and on. I wouldn't trade one minute of it, because my husband and I know in the end we WILL be reunited, that we have a real and true marriage and we love each other, and that all of the stress and pain and worry of being apart will have been worth it. Your whole story is a hot mess and exactly the reason it is so difficult for the rest of us. I said what a lot of people here are thinking. Sorry for the rant people, I am just so tired of reading these stories, I really really am.

Have you ever considered just dating a person without proposing marriage to her? Trust me...dating can be really fun.

im not here to judge you or her but wanted to pass on some advise my mom gave all of us............
if you can take a man away from a girl some other girl will come and take him from you
same thing applies for man taking a women away from her husband.........
immigration is a long hard process.......six months is a very short time to fall out of love with someone that you left your home land for.... for your own safety please be sure of what your getting into
also the others are correct she would have to get a divorce and return home then you apply for her to come to the states either as your wife or fiance....she no longer has a valid marriage since she is now in love with you so for her to have her husband sponsor her gc would be legally wrong and also visa fraud i believe but i could be wrong on that last part
just my own opinion
sara

Bad situation all around. Dont do it.

It's not her Baby. It's their child

Yes, it is normal. The package will come with his passport. They don't hand them in the embassy. Once he receives the DHL package, it will be inside.

too late.
as this thread seems to have run it's course, it's now closed.
do not restart this thread.

Who needs to watch sopa operas when theres EOMFCOIB.
So we know the love of the OPs life whom she spent untold sums of money on has a small unit that can't get erect. He's also a pedophile, Womanizer, VAWA agitator, gossiper. I'm waiting for the next installment where he may also be accused of being a rapist, bank robber, kidnapper, toll avoider, drunk driver, or worse a Democrat.
Absolutely. Especially when the other party is not on here to present an opposing viewpoint.

:pop:

I think VJ should have a section that is just read only. It seems certain posters just want to post and not hear what others have to say. Or at the minimum a private section where just the friends of the posters can provide group hugs to each other.

My comment was not to place blame nor was it to pinpoint Nigeria. Fact, your ex husband is Nigerian. Fact, You are remarried. Fact, you are still entertaining what takes place with your ex husband. Fact, you allow your friends to drop knowledge about him at your door so you can keep tabs. Fact, if you only wanted to clear your name you could have written immigration or gotten a lawyer to contact immigration. Fact, not everyone here is going to agree with your thoughts and as long as no one is violating VJ terms each is entitled to their thoughts and opinions and allowed to express them on YOUR VERSION OF THE FACTS.
Appreciate what you have and stop resenting the circumstances that brought you there.

My comment was not to place blame nor was it to pinpoint Nigeria. Fact, your ex husband is Nigerian. Fact, You are remarried. Fact, you are still entertaining what takes place with your ex husband. Fact, you allow your friends to drop knowledge about him at your door so you can keep tabs. Fact, if you only wanted to clear your name you could have written immigration or gotten a lawyer to contact immigration. Fact, not everyone here is going to agree with your thoughts and as long as no one is violating VJ terms each is entitled to their thoughts and opinions and allowed to express them on YOUR VERSION OF THE FACTS.
Appreciate what you have and stop resenting the circumstances that brought you there.