Rufus2012

I paid dearly for my divorce. But a funny thing happened when those assets which my ex stole from me (yes, it was theft, state sanctioned, but theft nonethless) actually transferred to her account. I realized that it was all just numbers on a screen. I was still me, I still had a roof over my head, I had food in my stomach, I had my friends, and in the end, I was back to where I was financially after a year or so. And I was free of her. That was worth far more than what she got in dollars.
People should do whatever suits them, but to me, there's something poisonous if you go into the relationship with plans for how it should end. No pre-nup for me.

Bill, it sounds like you're the problem.
As a bartender, she will speak with customers, and they will hit on her. This is what life is like for every female bartender. You have to trust your wife to say no. If she didn't tell you about being hit on, perhaps you should be more suspicious. If she was a bartender in Thailand, and she did more than flirt with customers, you knew precisely what you were getting into.
If she were using you, she'd stay quiet until her status was solid, then leave you the day after she didn't need you. Instead, she's complaining loudly about the lifestyle and you. This would indicate that she did come with honorable intentions. She's also paying for you. Why would she do it if she didn't like you? She doesn't want to be here except for you.
Looking at it from her side, she's in a land she dislikes, paying for a jealous, deadbeat husband who's plotting to deport her.
You are the issue. You married a wife. You didn't buy an indentured servant. Educate yourself, get a job, and be worthy of your wife. All you have are jealous suspicions that would drive any woman into the arms of another.

I want to second this comment. If there are no red flags in your case, why would you hire another lawyer?

"i mean how would USCIS know about it."
It's people like who you take this approach and have this mentality that makes this process a burden for everyone else wanting to play by the rules. Telling a lie to a government official in the course of them performing their duties is a crime; perhaps they don't know immediately, perhaps they never find out, but if they do, you're screwed. As you should be.

99.2% of fiance visas last year were approved (96 on the first time through, the remaining 3.2 on appeal). While there are some horror stories, and there are some troublesome consolates, it almost always works. You are dealing with a faceless and inefficient bureaucracy, but not a malicious one. There are undoubtedly a-holes in the mix, but don't let reading horror stories here skew your impressions about the process as applied to the entire population. Evidence here is anecdotal. Most K1 applicants do not have accounts here, and most people for whom the process is proceeding normally and without problems do not post here, they may not even update their timelines.
And that's a good thing.

You're wrong on both counts. I'm not concerned with this process once she arrives. I will pay any fee, fill out any form they want, provide any paperwork, answer any idiotic questions, even provide them an intimate demonstration if that's what it takes to convince them we have a real relationship. The important thing is, she will be here with me and at that point I will no longer care about the process, other than my general disdain for bureaucracy.
I will call them daily, because as pointless as it may be, it's just become part of the ritual. And if lets me schedule the interview two days earlier than it would have otherwise, that's a win for me. You learn to take every win you can get with these people.
About the notification by mail, at least one other fellow going through the same embassy as me only found out they had his approved petition when his fiance was contacted over there to come for an interview.

You bet. I'll keep nagging them, and checking with the embassy too (the folks there are very responsive to email inquiries). If nothing else, perhaps the nagging demonstrates the seriousness of the relationship.

You're wrong on both counts. I'm not concerned with this process once she arrives. I will pay any fee, fill out any form they want, provide any paperwork, answer any idiotic questions, even provide them an intimate demonstration if that's what it takes to convince them we have a real relationship. The important thing is, she will be here with me and at that point I will no longer care about the process, other than my general disdain for bureaucracy.
I will call them daily, because as pointless as it may be, it's just become part of the ritual. And if lets me schedule the interview two days earlier than it would have otherwise, that's a win for me. You learn to take every win you can get with these people.
About the notification by mail, at least one other fellow going through the same embassy as me only found out they had his approved petition when his fiance was contacted over there to come for an interview.

AZ gives you some really good advice, follow it. Especially the part about never being alone with her. Never. Have several witnesses if you absolutely must have contact with her; video with audio recordings would be good too, IF your state's laws are consistent with it.
I feel your pain; but this is much better than after you would have married.

AZ gives you some really good advice, follow it. Especially the part about never being alone with her. Never. Have several witnesses if you absolutely must have contact with her; video with audio recordings would be good too, IF your state's laws are consistent with it.
I feel your pain; but this is much better than after you would have married.

AZ gives you some really good advice, follow it. Especially the part about never being alone with her. Never. Have several witnesses if you absolutely must have contact with her; video with audio recordings would be good too, IF your state's laws are consistent with it.
I feel your pain; but this is much better than after you would have married.

Wow. I'm REALLY sorry that this has happened to you, but before taking time to feel sadness, you NEED to PROTECT yourelf.
1) If she has an ATM card to your account - shut it down.
2) If she has passwords to any of your bank acounts, email accounts, ANY acount - change them immediately.
3) Send a letter ASAP to USCIS and notify them of the course of events. This will protect you against her saying you were abusive. She can not apply for VAWA but she can allege abuse and you'd have a diffiult time to ever petition someone else if you decided to.
4) Change the locks on your doorss. She has abandoned the premises but if she decided to return tonight and just enter your place you'd be powerless to do anything about it.
5) Do NOT be alone with this woman if she contacts you. You could be set up for a potential abuse allegation.
I am so sorry that this has happened, but it could have been worse. You could have married this woman and thing could have become very difficult for you. Time heals - believe me when I say this but for now concentrate on protecting yourself.
Goiod luck.

simple... i just tell them to f**k off and mind there own business

Bickering about the correct tone of responses offers zero "guidance" to the OP. Please refrain from bickering.

You probably didn't get any RFEs because everything was missing. It's one thing for them to send you an RFE for a missing copy of a birth certificate, it's an entirely different matter for them to tell you "dude, everything is missing, resubmit".
OP, frankly, if you missed that you needed a whole bunch of supporting documents, I suspect you would best be served by hiring a professional to do this for you. Everyone can miss a particular nuance or individual item, but if you're not able to read the instructions and even come close to what they are asking for, I don't think you're going to be successful trying again.
If that's too harsh for some people, too bad. Do you want delicate half truths that don't hurt your feelings, or do you want sound advice? My advice, hire a good lawyer.

You probably didn't get any RFEs because everything was missing. It's one thing for them to send you an RFE for a missing copy of a birth certificate, it's an entirely different matter for them to tell you "dude, everything is missing, resubmit".
OP, frankly, if you missed that you needed a whole bunch of supporting documents, I suspect you would best be served by hiring a professional to do this for you. Everyone can miss a particular nuance or individual item, but if you're not able to read the instructions and even come close to what they are asking for, I don't think you're going to be successful trying again.
If that's too harsh for some people, too bad. Do you want delicate half truths that don't hurt your feelings, or do you want sound advice? My advice, hire a good lawyer.

You probably didn't get any RFEs because everything was missing. It's one thing for them to send you an RFE for a missing copy of a birth certificate, it's an entirely different matter for them to tell you "dude, everything is missing, resubmit".
OP, frankly, if you missed that you needed a whole bunch of supporting documents, I suspect you would best be served by hiring a professional to do this for you. Everyone can miss a particular nuance or individual item, but if you're not able to read the instructions and even come close to what they are asking for, I don't think you're going to be successful trying again.
If that's too harsh for some people, too bad. Do you want delicate half truths that don't hurt your feelings, or do you want sound advice? My advice, hire a good lawyer.

You probably didn't get any RFEs because everything was missing. It's one thing for them to send you an RFE for a missing copy of a birth certificate, it's an entirely different matter for them to tell you "dude, everything is missing, resubmit".
OP, frankly, if you missed that you needed a whole bunch of supporting documents, I suspect you would best be served by hiring a professional to do this for you. Everyone can miss a particular nuance or individual item, but if you're not able to read the instructions and even come close to what they are asking for, I don't think you're going to be successful trying again.
If that's too harsh for some people, too bad. Do you want delicate half truths that don't hurt your feelings, or do you want sound advice? My advice, hire a good lawyer.

You probably didn't get any RFEs because everything was missing. It's one thing for them to send you an RFE for a missing copy of a birth certificate, it's an entirely different matter for them to tell you "dude, everything is missing, resubmit".
OP, frankly, if you missed that you needed a whole bunch of supporting documents, I suspect you would best be served by hiring a professional to do this for you. Everyone can miss a particular nuance or individual item, but if you're not able to read the instructions and even come close to what they are asking for, I don't think you're going to be successful trying again.
If that's too harsh for some people, too bad. Do you want delicate half truths that don't hurt your feelings, or do you want sound advice? My advice, hire a good lawyer.

You probably didn't get any RFEs because everything was missing. It's one thing for them to send you an RFE for a missing copy of a birth certificate, it's an entirely different matter for them to tell you "dude, everything is missing, resubmit".
OP, frankly, if you missed that you needed a whole bunch of supporting documents, I suspect you would best be served by hiring a professional to do this for you. Everyone can miss a particular nuance or individual item, but if you're not able to read the instructions and even come close to what they are asking for, I don't think you're going to be successful trying again.
If that's too harsh for some people, too bad. Do you want delicate half truths that don't hurt your feelings, or do you want sound advice? My advice, hire a good lawyer.

You probably didn't get any RFEs because everything was missing. It's one thing for them to send you an RFE for a missing copy of a birth certificate, it's an entirely different matter for them to tell you "dude, everything is missing, resubmit".
OP, frankly, if you missed that you needed a whole bunch of supporting documents, I suspect you would best be served by hiring a professional to do this for you. Everyone can miss a particular nuance or individual item, but if you're not able to read the instructions and even come close to what they are asking for, I don't think you're going to be successful trying again.
If that's too harsh for some people, too bad. Do you want delicate half truths that don't hurt your feelings, or do you want sound advice? My advice, hire a good lawyer.

If you have no idea whether this will work, don't offer it as advice.

You probably didn't get any RFEs because everything was missing. It's one thing for them to send you an RFE for a missing copy of a birth certificate, it's an entirely different matter for them to tell you "dude, everything is missing, resubmit".
OP, frankly, if you missed that you needed a whole bunch of supporting documents, I suspect you would best be served by hiring a professional to do this for you. Everyone can miss a particular nuance or individual item, but if you're not able to read the instructions and even come close to what they are asking for, I don't think you're going to be successful trying again.
If that's too harsh for some people, too bad. Do you want delicate half truths that don't hurt your feelings, or do you want sound advice? My advice, hire a good lawyer.

You probably didn't get any RFEs because everything was missing. It's one thing for them to send you an RFE for a missing copy of a birth certificate, it's an entirely different matter for them to tell you "dude, everything is missing, resubmit".
OP, frankly, if you missed that you needed a whole bunch of supporting documents, I suspect you would best be served by hiring a professional to do this for you. Everyone can miss a particular nuance or individual item, but if you're not able to read the instructions and even come close to what they are asking for, I don't think you're going to be successful trying again.
If that's too harsh for some people, too bad. Do you want delicate half truths that don't hurt your feelings, or do you want sound advice? My advice, hire a good lawyer.

You probably didn't get any RFEs because everything was missing. It's one thing for them to send you an RFE for a missing copy of a birth certificate, it's an entirely different matter for them to tell you "dude, everything is missing, resubmit".
OP, frankly, if you missed that you needed a whole bunch of supporting documents, I suspect you would best be served by hiring a professional to do this for you. Everyone can miss a particular nuance or individual item, but if you're not able to read the instructions and even come close to what they are asking for, I don't think you're going to be successful trying again.
If that's too harsh for some people, too bad. Do you want delicate half truths that don't hurt your feelings, or do you want sound advice? My advice, hire a good lawyer.