Welshcookie

I followed the rules. Went to one of the best colleges in the States, moved to the UK, got a few more degrees, built up a great career. Had the NHS and, like Trompe, had private cover (PPP). Moved back to the US, started a career as a consultant and had to buy my own insurance. My outrageous rates went up when the insurance company decided it felt like it. Bye-bye cover.
I have a great job, and it has NO health insurance. I need this position in order to move ahead in my career path and it was unbelievably hard to get. I've had illnesses I haven't been able to have taken care of because I cannot afford to go to the doctor. End of. I cannot afford it. Eventually, after I convert my English law degree into a California qualification, I should be able to afford it again. But it is bananas that I should be expected to feel terrified of getting seriously ill. I'm separated with no children. I rent. The likelihood that I can qualify for Medicaid or Medi-CAL is nil.
I'm a nice middle-class girl who made all the right life choices and I'm still getting screwed by this system. America seems filled with a "I got mine, who gives a toss about you?" mentality that I find sickening. The common weal is important to us ALL as a nation. In my opinion, failure to provide for a healthy society is immoral. But hey, you got yours, and I should just go get a job that has cover, right?
Yeah, right.
Agreed. It's disgusting that profits are being earned on other people's ill health.

maybe that's the worst idea ever proposed?

I like the inclusiveness of the current site arrangement. A "No outsiders allowed" approach to regionals seems unwelcoming and fussy. And easy to get around if someone was so inclined. There will always be disagreement, troublemaking, and misunderstandings no matter how you try to separate or exclude people.
I agree that moderation is the key addressing problems as they arise.
All are welcome in the UK subforum to discuss spotted ####### in a can (tin), among other things.

I certainly understand the request but I also think better moderation would be a better answer to the problem.
I like how Mods can now Thread-Ban a member for repeated violations in a single thread. It would be great of Mods could also Sub-forum-Ban a member for repeating violations in a particular Regional Sub-forum.
This would allow the multicultural exposure that we've become accustomed to on VJ but allow Mods to spare the "Regionals" from the wrath of a few idiots.
Allow the sub-forum's Moderators this ability and make sure that those Mods are from that region/active in that sub-forum for most effective execution.

So you like to check out all the new content, but somehow want to restrict others from doing the same, to your posts?

You must not be familiar with how internet forums work Vanessa. If you want private conversation with only those you like, then perhaps you should either start your own forum, or find another medium (PM, or facebook).

You know, all snarkiness aside, I'd really hate to see this and I'll tell you why.
And it all goes back to the day before VJ had regional forums.
Before the regional forums, just by the very nature of the community you learned a lot about other cultures. I personally very much enjoyed that part of coming to VJ.
The Regional Forums were set up because VJ Admin preferred to isolate the communities rather than moderate them. One particular ethnic/religious group was getting a lot of venom. Presto, we make a place for them to hide so others won't intrude.
As we can see, this has not worked.
What VJ needs is more moderation. And not the bully in the school-yard variety. But rather the kind where racial, sexual, ethnic and religious hatred IS NOT TOLERATED.

Does this mean Vanessa will stop trolling the Philippines forum?

Some of the RUB members would like the same sort of set up so they can talk about guns, boobs, their sexual exploits and how women from other parts of the world don't measure up.

i disagree with that latter part

If you were my brother or a close male friend, I would figure out the kindest way to say that you are getting conned.
Let's take three type of women. The first (Mary) is your stereotypical American woman who will put up with too much of men's bullshit. The second (Jane) won't put up with anything, and has great morals. The third (Lucy) will do anything to tie you down to her with lies and flattery. Jane is too proud to lie to you, and Mary isn't smart enough to do it. Let's take a few of the situations you've written about.
"I met a girl from the Philippines a few months ago and consider her to be my gift from God."
Mary would be flattered.
Jane would think you are crazy to know after just a few months.
Lucy would think she has you right where she wants you.
"Within a few short months Lacey separated from her abuser and appeared for her court case against him. He was sentenced for domestic violence and multiple violations of restraining order and jailed for some time. She has hard core police and court evidence of physical abuse."
Mary would give you every gory detail.
Jane would be too proud to give you every detail.
Lucy would be afraid to give you every detail.
"I have the highest level of respect for Lacey and am the more patient of the two of us."
Mary would be the impatient one.
Jane would be the one slowing you down.
Lucy wants to tie you down before you "wake up".
"Lacey seeks a man who will promise to marry and have children upon first meeting, I have agreed because I desire the same."
Mary wouldn't think to make you promise, but she might ask how you feel about it.
Jane would think it is too soon to talk about it.
Lucy wants to see how much of a sucker you are.
"Still wondering if divorce is something she pursues individually in the state she resides in through a hired lawyer, or if it's tied in with her legal aid/process forms she filed in the VAWA application?"
Mary would bury her head in the sand, hoping some man would rescue her.
Jane would know all that she needed to do, and wouldn't need to talk to you about it- because she is already taking care of her business.
Lucy would use the situation to get your sympathy and help.
"Would you believe I offended her terribly when I explained to her that girls from her country actually do that for citizenship?"
Mary would already know that this is what other women do. She may say that *she* would never do that.
Jane would act like that was none of her business, but wouldn't be offended.
Lucy would act upset that you are insulting *her*- a little too close to home!
"She wanted to go back to her country after the abuse, not stay here, but had no where to go, no money, and a daughter."
First off, in all your posts, you mention this daughter ONCE.
Mary would've gone back to her support system, here in the states or not.
Jane would've gone back to her support system, here in the states or not.
Lucy would look around and see what her best options are, here in the states or not.
"Lacey refuses to ever work because her culture, the man works and the woman plays on the internet all day."
I hardly doubt that her mother played on the internet all day (or the equivalent back then) when she had 10 children to raise.
Mary would never be smart enough to con a man into supporting her, so she would have to work.
Jane would be too proud to not work.
Lucy would say anything so she wouldn't have to work.
"She has also refused most of what I have offered her because she wants nothing but love."
Mary would take everything you gave her, and want more.
Jane would take only what she felt comfortable taking.
Lucy would take only what she thought you would think Jane would feel comfortable taking.
"She has told the relatives she lives with that she wants to go live in a shelter because she doesn't want to be a burden on them."
Mary would live with her relatives until she got sick of them.
Jane would have a job yesterday.
Lucy would tell her relatives in a dramatic manner how she didn't want to be a burden on them so they wouldn't kick her out.
"Lacey is kind, gentle, and wants nothing outside of love, and I want to give it to her."
Mary would ask for a relationship too soon.
Jane would have her own life and wouldn't need a man to complete her.
Lucy would say anything to get you trapped.
"Lacey thinks if a man has a job, he is rich."
Mary would be happy she doesn't have to support her man.
Jane wouldn't accept a man she had to support.
Lucy reveal her narrow-minded-ness in unguarded moments like these.
"It's rare that I get her to open up about anything and I hate to ask."
Mary would tell you too much.
Jane would tell you only what is your business.
Lucy would tell you everything that would make you feel sorry for her.
"As for her working, I still notice she gets almost offended about the topic. Lacey admitted that despite the facts her relatives say not to marry a man that wants her to work, she doesn't take their advice."
Mary secretly wishes she didn't have to work.
Jane works because she has self-respect.
Lucy contradicts herself by saying one thing *but actually does the other*.
"Lacey is perhaps the most beautiful, kind hearted, genuine person I have ever met. Only real problem is that she is ultra-sensitive."
Mary is unattractive because she is needy.
Jane is attractive because she is a challenge.
Lucy makes you jump through hoops because she knows the more emotionally invested you are, the less you will pull away because you have already have sunk costs in the relationship.
"Cant crack a joke. can't swear, can't drink, can't even go out with my friends. I am afraid to answer her questions about how many girls have I dated or how many girls have I brought to my house...really?"
Mary may pout about it, but knows she can't change you.
Jane doesn't notice you are gone because she is out at her pottery class that night.
Lucy has to control you so you won't see her real self for as long as possible.
"The other day I jokingly asked her who do you think you are? That cost me 2 days of silence and she was considering ending things because she said I was "striking" at her!"
Mary wouldn't be clever enough to pull this bullshit.
Jane would be too proud to pull this bullshit.
Lucy would make herself look like the victim so you would have to protect her.
"Unmarried at 35 simply because her older brother told her she can't marry yet!"
But she is married!
Mary and Jane might pay token lip service to their brother, but will live their own lives.
Lucy would say whatever it took to get your sympathy.
"I am learning to just keep my mouth shut, never disagree with her, never try to educate her, never ask anything from her, never joke around, ...pretty much I make a good puppet! I still love her!"
Mary and Jane would dump you because you sound like a loser. Lucy would think she has you right where she wants you. And she does.

There is this thing I've read about called "tampo" (http://www.filipinawives.com/Tampo.htm) that apparently Filipino women do but I personally consider to be manipulation.
I would say part of her behaviour would be cultural (see tampo reference above), part her family upbringing and part her own sense of entitlement.
I must admit I know you were joking about a lot of stuff (or making it seem that way) but I see an awful lot of compromise on your part and none on hers. She sounds totally unreasonable and like your life would eventually suck quite a bit.
I also must admit that you seem to be being emotionally abused. People who are abused don't really notice it. It starts off as a grooming process. It started like that with my ex. Just a couple of things here and there that made me want to try harder, eventually I was walking on eggshells and I got more and more resentful but we lived together and had a lease, I thought I should stick it out until the end of the lease. After we broke up I realised how much I had complained to friends and family and how sick they had got of my complaining then just going back for more (though at the time I didn't see it). In the beginning the compromises didn't seem like big deals, eventually I was working 10 hour days while he sat at home on the computer (he was getting money from his family - international student). He wouldn't go to the mailbox to check the mail (he didn't "go that way"), couldn't be arsed driving to get groceries, wouldn't take the bin down (he didn't "go that way"). I wasn't allowed to go to bed after him (had to be the same time) as the mattress my movements of the blankets woke him. If I didn't get up when he did it was my fault he was late for stuff. I was doing school online and had to attend campus for lab tests he didn't want to be left alone in the house and I was forced to cancel the class (luckily without penalty)... and that's just the stuff I remember.
You can't promise her that you'll never try to change her because you DO want her to change a little and you also need her to in order for you to be truly happy (I think). I know it's hard to find someone you thought was perfect and then the flaws come through, that's usually what happens. Don't settle for near-perfect, when you deserve someone perfect for you. I never thought I'd find someone so similar in values to myself, and to the childish "my husband needs to be like this" list I made when I was little, the funniest part was I even got the accent (and I hadn't seen the list since I wrote it years ago).
Best of luck.

Sorry but refusing to work isn't cultural at all, it's something she's been told she's entitled to do because she's "pretty". The vast majority of Filipino's that I read on here are quite proud and enjoy working and contributing to their family. The man often earns more money, the Filipino might just have a part-time job, but they enjoy getting out of the house and having their own money to spend and the pride in working.
She's a contradiction in that she's denying your assistance now, but that just leads me to believe she is faking it. Forcing you to marry her quickly in order to rescue her, the damsel in distress.
I suggest she meet with more people from her culture and NOT her family. She will find that her family is steering her in the wrong direction. Relationships require mutual respect and effort. She needs to at least be OPEN to the possibility of working. What if *god forbid* you hurt yourself and are unable to work for a little while, she'll just sit back and watch you go into financial ruin? This is a pretty big issue in my opinion. It sounds like she expects to be worshipped and contribute nothing other than herself to the relationship... which I'm sure it itself is great but I prefer to be equals.
I don't mean to sound harsh but it sounds like there are still a few issues to work out. They might seem like cute differences right now but to give you the silent treatment when you don't agree with her? I hope she's able to chill out a little and i really think meeting with others of her culture, and not her family, will help her see the actual truths, rather than the lies and misinformation they're feeding her.

Wow I can't believe you actually wrote that Racist statement. What I hear in both these statements is there are men who was selling citezenship to marry them. Lets look at this in the case if the OP's wife was from the US. And imigration was off the Table all together. He married a younger women (what do we call them in the States) Thats right a sugar daddy. Now the sugar daddy has no sugar and has his woman supporting him (What do we call that in the states) Thats Right a Pimp. So instead of beating his girl he threatens to send her back to her home country (what do we call that) That's right extortion. The OP himself has not posted a coment on this in a while since questions of his status came into play. For the Comment about a Thai women or a Phillipina is raceist and sterio typical. I am Retired Military and I have known long lasting and short lived relationships from both countries as well as the US. But what is a constent in a great deal of the bad ones is that there are two people and they both have a story.

I wouldn't be real happy if I was asked to sign a pre-nup and then had to go out and sling drinks to support you.

Based on the fact that she has been hit on? Would you deport your own wife if someone better looking than you made a pass at her? You are aware that this is marriage, not sexual slavery.

Bill, it sounds like you're the problem.
As a bartender, she will speak with customers, and they will hit on her. This is what life is like for every female bartender. You have to trust your wife to say no. If she didn't tell you about being hit on, perhaps you should be more suspicious. If she was a bartender in Thailand, and she did more than flirt with customers, you knew precisely what you were getting into.
If she were using you, she'd stay quiet until her status was solid, then leave you the day after she didn't need you. Instead, she's complaining loudly about the lifestyle and you. This would indicate that she did come with honorable intentions. She's also paying for you. Why would she do it if she didn't like you? She doesn't want to be here except for you.
Looking at it from her side, she's in a land she dislikes, paying for a jealous, deadbeat husband who's plotting to deport her.
You are the issue. You married a wife. You didn't buy an indentured servant. Educate yourself, get a job, and be worthy of your wife. All you have are jealous suspicions that would drive any woman into the arms of another.

earlier pinay wife merged many photo threads into one. i've just merged 2 threads into one also and renamed it. post your photos here rather than consistently flooding the pi regional with threads.

Not according to respected historians. (Or maybe I should just cut and paste a page of disembodied links from the Wiki page, since that apparently passes for debate with you.)

I totally lol'd at that, too. The IHR is well-known to be anti-Semitic trash, published by a former National Front leader and a guy who follows the teachings of a man who thought Hitler was swell.
Come back with some real references. Don't have to be lefty stuff -- just publications that carry some actual weight within the academic community.
Oh my god, I can't stop giggling about this.

Why Me, I'm not even going to quote you in my reply because your post will probably get deleted... but even if it doesn't, it's just a bunch of ####### right out of the Protocols that you would only find on some site like Stormfront.
Anyway the Bolsheviks have nothing to do with this topic, so if you want to continue yammering on about your crackpot Judeo-Bolshevism theories, start your own thread about it.

Your scorecard vis a vis VJ TOS compliance is even worse.
But that's nothing that can't be fixed with the FAIR TAX!!

While I agree with a lot of what's been said in this thread so far about racism; how to deal with it, ignoring it, etc - I do feel like I want to comment on something.
I'm quite surprised that as a teacher, you've never seen this before. I'm Asian of origin (adopted) and have always lived in extremely predominantly Caucasian countries/cities/areas. I have white siblings, white parents, a white family, and grew up in a white upper-middle class neighborhood.
In my experience, the age you described this child to be is exactly when they start questioning and commenting on skin color. It was in the first grade someone first commented on my "squinty, funny-looking eyes." It was in the second grade I was first asked why I looked "browner than my sister." And that girl quickly concluded that she didn't think my sister was really my sister, because if she was, we'd either both be brown or both be white. That was devastating to me at the time, but there was no inherent racism behind this girl's conclusion; she was just trying to make sense of how and why I looked different.
Still to this day, children around the 7-10 age range are the ones commenting on my looks, on the rare occasion it does happen. They are simply curious, and have no filter. Any remark coming from a child that age, I personally would take with a grain of salt.

It sounds like the 10 year old was thinking with a child's innocence. As you know, children sometimes state the obvious without historical reference of shoulds and should-nots. He was probably using logic and analysis with no thought to race or whether this might hurt someone who has a pre-disposed sensitivity. As to the parent.... they quite probably had a discussion with the child in private.

I'm so confused right now, how did you even understand what that said?