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jsnearline

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    jsnearline got a reaction from Prisonmate in Married Filipinos who send money to family back in Philippines   
    Does the issue of sending money home (or how much you send) cause tension between you and your spouse? If so, how have you tried to resolve it?
    What rules do you and your spouse follow regarding remittances (e.g. money only comes from Filipino spouse's pay)?
    How do you determine the amount of money you send back to family in Philippines?
    How do you distinguish legitimate needs vs. "nice to have"s?
    How do you handle emergencies (real and imagined) that come up?
    Have you ever cut any family members off financially? If so, why and for how long?
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    jsnearline got a reaction from Shia and Ash in Married Filipinos who send money to family back in Philippines   
    When I say relative, I actually meant my wife's mmediate family.
    I wasn't inclined to help my in-laws with their mortgage when they got behind, especially since the first I heard of it was the threat of impending foreclosure. That signified poor financial planning. When my wife asked me for money for that, I told her if she wanted to help, she would have to come up with the funds out of her own discretionary money.
    Likewise, I wasn't very thrilled to help when my wife's dad wound up in the hospital because of a lifetime of bad habits (alcoholism, smoking, etc...). He didn't have insurance because he had spent his retirement money on alcohol and gambling. My wife's family told her that her dad could not be released from the very expensive hospital he was at until they paid the bill, and of course they had no money to do so. So, my wife felt she had no choice but to come up with the money. I don't know why they chose to take her dad to the most expensive hospital in town when they couldn't afford the rates and without even bothering to consult my wife. I ended up having to cancel a contract to buy a house for our family because of this situation. As a result, we're still renting.
    When the in-laws' house was severely damaged by Ondoy, I told my wife I would help, but that there was no way I could give them the money to buy a new house. I could send money for basic necessities like food, clothes, and money to get them started renting, but that's all I could do.
    The problem I have is that after the current crisis, there will always be another one, and no matter how much money my wife sends, it will never be enough and her family will always want more. So, my wife always feels guilty that she's not doing more and her family keeps treating her merely like an ATM. Then, when we want to buy something or my parents have a financial crisis, my wife tells me that we can't afford it...
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