sherryandyashpal

My advise to you is to get married in India and to live with her for a few years.
That way you will have enough evidence and can file for a CR-1 which is a visa for married couples. Immigration is a very expensive process in terms of money AND time. In my opinion, you will have a very hard time getting a K-1 visa after just 1 or 2 or 3 visits as COs also care about how much time you've spent living together. Your age gap is a huge red flag for that part of the world as having biological children from a marriage is a cultural expectation among other things.
I would also highly recommend that your girlfriend post on this forum so she can learn about the process.
Initially, she will be the one doing all the paper work from the U.S. so she needs to know what she's getting into.

Yes, it is very tough. I have been there, done that. First K1 refused and returned after leaving us 16 months in AP.
Second filing successful. It was a 5 year long journey.
I understand the disappointment but eventually you must get over the anxiety and anger and catapult forward
to reach the end goal.
Best wishes for the next round. One day at a time is how you will get through this.

Question is, do you want to be right, or do you want to be with your spouse? Unfortunately, they won't bend the rules to suit your interpretation of what the process should be...
(As a side note, and something to keep in mind, when your spouse does move to the USA, your preconceived ideas of what immigrants are and do will be applied to him by others...)

everything here is correct!! Instead of wasting time and energy being mad at the world and threatening to call the news, move forward. Calling the news isn't going reverse the decision and it isn't going to to un-expire the petition. And let me make this clear, you have the right to marry anyone you want, BUT you do NOT have the right to bring a foreigner to this country. Immigration is a privilege, NOT a right. You need to get off your high horse and understand that.

For what it's worth.. among the VJ community, India is classified as high fraud. Some recent cases of India K-1s here have been mixed results.
Not to discourage, but an alternate option.. consider getting married in India (or a third country) and file a Spouse Petition. Submit evidences of a bonafide relationship to neutralize potential flags.

hi there
I totally can relate and I have to say if you can see him as many times as you can , even if you cannot stay that long..it's not a guarantee but it looks very good to see you came as much as you could even if you cannot stay long because it shows a desire to spend whatever time you can with him. Before anyone says anything about my post I'll add that it was a HUGE factor in my case as told to me by the officer we talked to at the interview. One other thing, If you have to move heaven and earth to be with him at the interview DO IT! even if you are at a embassy that you cannot go in ( we were at Delhi and it is allowed but I think mumbai you can't?) Your spouse will be able to say at least that you are there waiting if they need to talk to you. It's helped many people. Anyhow, just know many people have been there andyou're not alone. Wish you the best and just be sure to document EVERYthing even things you think may not count!
Sherry

1-Listen to Ebunoluwa, they have been through it!
2-The staff at the USEM expect couples to follow local customs. I think what the officer was looking for was proof of a formal engagement ceremony. Also it would REALLY help your case if you had more face time with your fiance.
At this point as your case has been returned to USCIS your petition is HIGHLY unlikely to be reapproved. Probably a good idea to start thinking about plan B.
Good Luck

At this stage, your best route would be to get married in India, then file for CR-1 visa.

I don't think being insecure, and possibly in need of help with her mental health makes her "crazy"
Obviously there is a lot of underlying issues here. She has been cheated on in the past. By your own admission you're a good looking fellow worthy of this attention, and sometimes you like to check other women out in return. Her fears are not one hundred percent unfounded. Once a seed of doubt has been planted, a mind with mental health issues can take that seed and multiply it into a very scary pit of anxiety, incorrect assumptions and fear of abandonment.
You say you love her, so help her. You need to sit down and have a frank conversation about all the issues you have outlined, and emphasise that both individual and couples counselling may help her. If conversations of these nature tend to get heated, write her a letter instead and be there for her whilst she reads it.
Visa journey will not provide you with the answers you need because we are all individuals here and every single one of us would handle this situation slightly, or even very, differently to one and other. You need to seek professional help, not hope that someone you've never met will provide you with a magic solution on an internet forum.
I am not trying to justify or defend her behaviour, obviously this is not a healthy way for the relationship to continue, but I urge you to at least try and deal with these issues, if you do indeed love her. If you have had enough, of course divorce is an option, but your mention of love gives me hope for you both.
Good luck whatever you decide. Please do not be too harsh, sometimes our own minds can be our worst enemy. It certainly sounds like this is the case for your wife.

Please do not listen to people that tell you to leave your wife. You married her and no one twisted your arm. Your only biblical reason for divorce is death, secondly adultery. As so many have said....work it out, even if you have stopped loving her ask God to heal your marriage and pray more than ever before. Talk things through with her. None of us should tell you to leave her. There is always 3 sides to a story.

Divorce him and move on.
He is deadbeat who likes to sow wild oats.
He can ROC by himself if he has the brain to do so.

hi all ... many of you are familiar with my husband and my history.... starting with a failed k-1 visa to now a SUCCESSFUL CR-1 as of yesterday... I wanted to thank all of you who have helped us with your suggestions and empathy along the bumpy 3 year process..I'm so thankful for such a great resource... wish I had found it before I started my past k-1 with a lawyer who did little but take our money ... anyways,,, thanks everyone,, I hope all the best for those in whatever position you are in ....
Sherry

I might be really wrong and maybe the other options available are even worse, but in my opinion and for those looking for advice........don't ever go the K1 route!
The process is so long, so much money, time, papers, forms........and I know that happens with all immigration processes, but this one..........it never ends!
It took me 9 months to get here, then 2 months to get married, then more time, more money, more papers, and my EAD and AP haven't arrive yet........so we missed our honeymoon that it was supposed to be this week, and I just found the job of my dreams but I can't start because of this EAD!
To get my ID, it took me 4 trips to the MVA and a lot of begging so I wouldn't have to be carrying my passport with my visa everywhere, specially if I want one single glass of wine in a restaurant and they wlll only accept passports as proof of ID.
I love my husband, and really like this country, and I want to stay, but is just so hard to stay home for 5 months, I have always worked and don't want to ask my husband for money just to go to and have a coffee with a friend.
Those are my two pennies.......good luck anyway to everyone on the process!

nicely said

Honestly, if I had enough doubts to consider hiring an investigator, I would just end things. Here's why: If I ever found out my husband had me followed while we were dating, I wouldn't be worried because I had nothing to be worried about, but I would feel extremely violated and untrusted. I would wonder why my word wasn't good enough. Why he didn't need to prove to ME that he wasn't cheating so why did he have to hire someone? That's a big step to take. I understand though how you won't want to end things without know "for sure" whether he is or whether you're being suspicious.
What does he say when you ask him about it? I know sometimes I would be late to call my husband (then fiance) because I got caught up at work, or my phone had died so the alarm didn't go off, or I was already on the phone, internet was out.. etc etc.
If you're committed to hiring one though, how much I would pay, as others said, depends on where he's from. It also depends on what service you need. As in, do you want him followed all day for a week? Just specific days? You would think you'd only want him followed after work, but maybe he's doing something with someone FROM work so you'd want maybe one entire day (but what if it's the wrong day and turns out its the next day?).
Also, what if they don't find anything and the behaviour continues? Are you going to assume that something IS going on but must have been when the investigator didn't follow him? Are you going to hire the investigator again? Are you going to blindly assume whatever he didn't find means you're not being cheated on?
LDR's are hard, and this process is long and hard. If you don't think you can do it, then don't. It doesn't make you less of a person. It's not easy. Trust is integral to a relationship. If he isn't making you feel secure and loved, he might not be cheating, he just might not be the right guy.

You took the words out of my mouth, I think that everyone has a right to express how they feel, for some people they dont have any other outlet so why not let them have their say?

You took the words out of my mouth, I think that everyone has a right to express how they feel, for some people they dont have any other outlet so why not let them have their say?

You took the words out of my mouth, I think that everyone has a right to express how they feel, for some people they dont have any other outlet so why not let them have their say?

The N. Delhi embassy was never going to give us a visa.. they jerked us around for 2.5 months and put us through hell to finally deny us as visa application is expired. So they win. we give up . ...
Ha!!! We're going to married and begin round 2. has been a weekend of tears and anger.. then sorrow then anger... and now we start round 2 and its another year and a half probably .. but no one is going to stop us .
thanks for reading and support. See you under a different visa quest!
Sherry