Caryh

To you and anyone reading this - please don't make yourself so sick as to be throwing up. This process is stressful, but everything will be fine. You have already been approved for a K-1 visa so the AOS is administrative. Even if it weren't, as long as you have a real relationship you will be approved. I don't know how strongly I can stress this - but both of you will be fine and there is no need to be working yourselves into a tizzy. Please find to find a healthy way to cope, because this process is not worth all that stress. It will be fine. You are together and newly married. What could be sweeter?

Hi all
I was out of the US last week and, typically, a letter stating my adjustment of status had been approved was sent on the 13th March. Can't quite believe it, and am waiting for my green card to be delivered. I'm a November filer and my case was transferred to CSC, so here's hoping more transferred cases are approved in the next week or so.
Good luck everyone!
L

Everything in life is some kind of a deal. We all do things every day in order to achieve something from it. We buy a new car because we want to feel good about it and because we enjoy the ride. Some even buy a new car to get the neighbor's attention. Kids like nice cars because they help them to get laid. I wouldn't want anybody to buy me a car I haven't checked out myself, even less would I want to get a wife by air mail. How do I know that she and I would be compatible?
You were okay with that, however, so I assume you agreed to this little transaction because you wanted a Green Card. Your wife wanted a husband and babies, and who knows what the parents involved got. Could be a goat or a bunch' a money.
Now you realize that you agreed to a deal that isn't working out. You didn't use due diligence and now you feel trapped. Here's what you can do: be a man. Tell your wife that you don't want to pop out babies with her. Get a divorce, move back to India, the place where all the American jobs went. There you stand up to your parents, again, like a man would do it, and tell them that you just checked the calendar and found out it's 2012 already, and you are not a tangible asset, so you will pick your next wife yourself, and you'll test drive her to make sure she's what you hope she is.
Best of luck to you.

Philippine courts on not very friendly to non-filipinos and heavily biased towards mothers. A Filipina can take her USC children back the the Philippines and prevent the USC father from ever seeing them again even if he had full custody in the USA. He might at best manage to get visitation in the Philippines if he had enough money, fought hard enough and got a little lucky. With a child born out of wedlock there, he'd be lucky to get even that. It would be much better to stay on good terms with the child's mother and not press the CRBA now if its going to cause problems with her.

Got the stamp he needed. All is good now.

OP: Three words of advice that have kept my marriage hitting on all cylinders: Choose your battles.
You are correct about hair not growing back in thicker. And you'll still be correct while sleeping on the couch.

Done deal. I am going tomorrow. Wish me luck! :-D

I believe we should make the process easier, but raise the income level required and eliminate the cosponsor. So many times I've seen the K1 immigrant be stuck at home unable to work because they cannot afford to adjust status. Then they add a baby or two into the mix which makes things worse. Of course now they need food stamps to help make the budget make it. Next they're moving in with a relative because they can't make the rent. Not only are they dealing with the culture differences, but money issues, living with in law issues, etc... So darn often its a complete mess that ends up in divorce. I'm all for immigration, but if you're only making 125% poverty you're barely making it for yourself, let alone a spouse and the possible kids you'll have. What's the matter with taking your time and getting your financial situation in order before bringing over family? I know thats what I did, and I make well over the poverty level. Too many people just think "I want" and forget the "I'm responsible for" part. Double the poverty level might be a bit high, but the 125% is certainly too low. There are just too many screwed up things happening to often when people don't have the income to afford it.

i think that this thread kinda got sidetracked... plus im right and everyone else is wrong... end of story!!

I believe we should make the process easier, but raise the income level required and eliminate the cosponsor. So many times I've seen the K1 immigrant be stuck at home unable to work because they cannot afford to adjust status. Then they add a baby or two into the mix which makes things worse. Of course now they need food stamps to help make the budget make it. Next they're moving in with a relative because they can't make the rent. Not only are they dealing with the culture differences, but money issues, living with in law issues, etc... So darn often its a complete mess that ends up in divorce. I'm all for immigration, but if you're only making 125% poverty you're barely making it for yourself, let alone a spouse and the possible kids you'll have. What's the matter with taking your time and getting your financial situation in order before bringing over family? I know thats what I did, and I make well over the poverty level. Too many people just think "I want" and forget the "I'm responsible for" part. Double the poverty level might be a bit high, but the 125% is certainly too low. There are just too many screwed up things happening to often when people don't have the income to afford it.

thank you for the replies, i appreciate it.. now i guess i can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that i am not the only one in the situation. good luck to us all!!!

Bought lots of clothes, rice cooker (let her pick it out when she got here), tabo, lots and lots of pinoy food. Can't think of anything I needed to get rid of. Except some photos of my ex wife. Actually they weren't mine, they were in things I have stored for my mother, but she found them and I paid the price for that. Dumb me, I should have gone through and removed everything that might have shown I had a previous marriage or relationship. Don't make my mistake, go through everything and purge, purge, purge.
To comment on what my Filipina wife does as far as house keeping, she does pretty much everything around the house. Washes, cooks, irons, cleans, does the dishes, etc... But I'll also pitch in if she's busy and things need doing. I expect I'll do a lot more again when she finds a job. At first I did most of it, until I had taught her how to use everything, then I never got the chance again. As to money and work, although I tell her its our money, she wants to make money so she can feel she has contributed to the household. She's always saying "Sorry for spending your money". Doesn't matter how many times I tell her its our money, she still has that internal view. I think she might be slowly, very slowly changing in that view, but its going to take a long time.

Manu and I had our interview today in Philadelphia at 9:00am. I was so nervous on the drive down that I could hardly talk when we got within 10 minutes of arriving (and I usually have a lot to say). We arrived at 8:50, and were admitted into the building, cleared security, and were checked in on the 3rd floor by 9:00am. The security was very polite and friendly and there was no wait time getting in. We were called by our interviewing officer around 9:40am. When we were brought into the room, he told us to remain standing, asked to raise our right hand, and swear to tell the truth. Once we were seated, the officer spent about 5 minutes looking for a red pen, emptying a 2-hole punch, and telling us a story about when he used to collect the hole punch clipping to save to put in an envelope to use as an office prank. We were somewhat relieved by his conversation, but still incredibly nervous!
The first thing he asked us was if either one of us had been married before in any country in the world. We both said no. Then he asked if either of us had children in any country of the world. We both said no.
He started flipping through our file and asked to see both of our driver's licenses (Manu gave his French Driver's License, he doesn't have one here yet), proof of my US Citizenship (I gave my passport) and our original marriage certificate. While he continued looking through papers, he asked how we met. I told him I met Manu while I was on vacation in Europe in the fall of 2010. I had traveled to London, Paris, and Rome and met him in Paris at a bar next to the Moulin Rouge, and it was love at first sight- there was just a sparkle in his eye from across the room. He then asked how we remained in touch with each other. I told him we emailed, called, and skyped. I explained that I went back to France a month later for work by chance and was able to see him again, he came to the US for the first time ever in March for 1 week to visit me, then he came back in May for 3 months, we went to France in July so I could meet his family, he came back in August and we were married in October. I usually go into much more detail about our love story, but I felt like he wasn't really listening to me as he was looking through the paperwork the whole time I was talking, so I just gave a bare outline. When I finished, he said "Wow that's a great story". He then held up the 1 page photo montage that I made on walmart.com of our wedding photos and had submitted with our initial paperwork in November (the only photos I submitted with our application). He said "This is great". He then asked if we still lived at the address listed in our paper, which we replied yes. He asked us if we planned on moving soon, and we said not within the next year.
He asked if we had the same jobs, which I said yes, and Manu said he just got a job a few days ago (he was previously unemployed, and just got a job after receiving his EAD 2 weeks ago). He congratulated Manu on finding a job, and asked what he was doing. When Manu replied that he was a waiter at a sushi restaurant, the interviewer started a whole conversation about how much he likes sushi and was asking questions about the place Manu works. After what seemed like 5 minutes of sushi talk, he started explaining to us what conditional residency means, what it meant to be adjusting the status of Manu's immigration, and what paperwork we would need to file in 2 years to remove the conditions. He still hadn't said we were approved yet though, so I told him that I had brought along tax records (we filed married jointly in 2012), health and life insurance papers, and 2 photo albums, and he said "I would only ask to see them if I questioned the validity of your marriage, which I don't." I was stunned (this was WAY too easy!) and asked him what would make him question a marriage. He went on for the next 10 minutes to explain all the ways he sees marriage fraud, listing certain countries, and different scenarios that send up a red flag. None of them related to us, thank goodness!! He said that the fact that Manu is a French National right off the bat made him not overly concerned, because worse case scenario he would get deported and I would just move to France with him (I immediately said this WOULD be a very worse case scenario to us!). He said there are jobs and a good quality of life in France, so US marriage fraud is not prevalent. I wish I would have known that USCIS feels that way towards French immigrants before the interview, I wouldn't have been freaking out for the past 4 months!
Once he got done telling us about all the bad scenarios he sees every day, he went into more information about the green card and that Manu would receive it within 2 weeks. I said "So, we are approved?!?" and he just said "Yes." Manu and I exchanged excited glances and smiles and I said "Oh yay! We were so nervous!" and he said "Most people in real marriages are." He asked if I wanted to submit any of the additional documents and photos I had brought along to be included in our file, but that he did not want me to present them to him one-by-one. I handed him the insurance confirmations, my updated employment letter, and an 8x10 wedding picture. He looked at the life/health insurance papers on top of the stack and said "See... this is a real marriage here...". I then asked him what picture would be used for the Green Card, and he said the ones we submitted with our application. I told him that I was curious because they used an awful snapshot they took at his biometrics appointment for his EAD card, where he had a full beard and looked like a Taliban member! The interviewer said seriously "You can't say that word here, that's like saying 'bomb' in an airport. Let me see the picture..." I apologized quickly and handed him Manu's EAD card. He looked and said "Hmmm... he does look Lebanese here" and we all started laughing. I was so relieved how pleasant and friendly our interviewer was, and so thrilled he approved us on the spot!
We then got up and were getting ready to leave, and Manu asked if he wanted to see any of the photos we brought (we had 2 albums with over 300 pictures). He said that he was sorry he didn't have enough time to look through and fully appreciate them, but he would take a quick look because he had went to the trouble to bring them. After he saw a few pages, we got ready to leave. Manu and I both thanked him so much, and he said "No, I want to thank you both. You have renewed my faith in true love and that these real marriages really do exist. I am so skeptical because of what I see every day. You both made my day. Happy Valentine's Day and thank you."
Our biggest fear walking into this interview was that we would be questioned about adjusting the status of Manu's Visa Waiver Program on the basis of marriage. Our proposal, wedding, and Manu's intent when he came here was a tourist was NEVER BROUGHT UP ONCE.
Good luck to everyone else waiting for their interview. Happy Valentine's Day! (Also our Green Card day, and 4 month wedding anniversary)

I'm at church every Sunday, and I thought it was a great read. He got her there so she could practice her faith, which is wonderful! God can take care of being offended if he feels so. My own opinion was he was there and maybe he'll find his own faith one day by seeing his wife and others practice theirs. As it is he respects her's, which is more than enough.

I'm at church every Sunday, and I thought it was a great read. He got her there so she could practice her faith, which is wonderful! God can take care of being offended if he feels so. My own opinion was he was there and maybe he'll find his own faith one day by seeing his wife and others practice theirs. As it is he respects her's, which is more than enough.

i thought it was a great read and anyone who takes offence at that needs to lighten up a little... of course it is easy for me to say that because as far as im concerned god does not exist. im actually impressed that the OP went just for his girl... now that is love

We had notice of approval on jan 26. The card arrived on feb 4th. The card states valid from 1/26/2012 until 1/25/2013. So the date of your first card production notification is the day you can theoretically work. It just takes a bit longer to actually get the card.

Little towns with small minds that don't allow high school dances.
You know what else used to be more shameful than a divorce getting married?....an inter-racial marriage...imagine that?

I was thinking about it and I think that you are implying me flying to JFK to meet her there.
I think that is the best thing to do. Especially, POE and first time in United States.
I think i will meet her there and then fly back to North Carolina with her so that there are no issues. You have to take at least two stops to where I live and it will be hard for her.
So, yeah.. your right.. Didn't really think about flying up there.

My dead little filipina fiance went to the courier yesterday and slipped the 2go guy some cash to tell her when the Visa would be there. She got a call this morning telling her tocome pick it up that they are holding it instead of shipping it to the next 2go site. Thank god , I thhought iwas going to have to book another ticket !

While San Diego certainly was harsh, he (or she?) does represent a substantial portion of the populace who sees immigrants as a drain on the system, and questions like this don't help. If a USC can't afford to support his or her spouse--knowing that said spouse won't be able to work for some time after arrival--maybe immigration should wait until a better financial situation is achieved? Even if the LPR doesn't qualify, it seems likely in some of these situations that the USC could have supported (and was supporting) him/herself without any government assistance, but having added another person to support into the equation means they now need food stamps. So while the food stamps are in the USC's name, they wouldn't have been paid out unless someone else came along to further stretch an already-limited budget. I can understand the frustration. I don't necessarily agree, but I can see that POV.

Yep... Additional fees and costs await you!
Visa application fee: $350
AOS: $1070
Roses for when you mess up: $75
Jewelry for a really bad mess up: $1000
Having the woman you love with you everyday: Priceless!

GOOD GOD Do you guys think anyone from USCIS has actually read any of these letters?! Are they written by robots? They are totally ambiguous. "This is a letter to tell you about a letter we may or may not have sent you about the interview you may or may not need to have on February 14th... BUT, maybe we mailed you your green card or another document which may or may not have been approved!! This perhaps corresponds with a status report on our website that we don't really know anything about, although you might want to look at it, because the information on the site may or not be correct and will tell you what to do. or not do. Welcome to America!"

Since we've been married for an entire month now, I feel I am qualified to offer marriage advice to everybody. This advice should be especially useful to those who are on their K1 journey and still miles apart from each other.
1. Don't worry too much about planning what you'll do when you're finally together. I had a list of things we'd do and places we'd go when she finally got here. But now that she's here, we're just happy being together and most of my list has been ignored.
2. Once you're together, take time to remember the journey. Think back about waiting for the NOA2, getting picked for the stupid sputum test, the nervousness about the interview, and even waiting impatiently the last few days for the visa to arrive. Remember all the hurdles you've made it over and it will make you even more thankful for finally being together.
3. Last but not least, the most important marriage advice I can give is this: Never ask, "Are you still mad?" I've found that, if I still have to ask, then she's still mad.
Good luck to everybody who is still on their journey. It is definitely worth the wait.

I just rotate one of the following responses:
1. I have an Asian Fetish
2. Mail Order Brides are a bargain, avoided local sales taxes
3. It's part of a UN sanctioned population diversity project
4. I was messed up in "Nam', and this is part of my therapy
5. I needed a height compatible dance partner for my Salsa Class
6. Qualify for the "Vietnamese Only" discounts at the local Asian market
7. She was a 'Groupon" purchase
8. Andrew Zimmerman is coming over for dinner
9. Mother-in-Law 18,000 Miles Away !
10. Because I Love her (This one Rarely works)