Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.
