how do u guys deal with it??

[Melissa1 0]

I feel like a crazy person!! I get all mad and upset when my fiance goes out with is friends. I know it sounds immature. It's not a trust issue at all, I just get jealous because I want to be with him so badly when he's having a good time. I know he's not doing anything wrong but i still get upset.

I know it's really just the distance thing. If we were together then I couldn't care less if he went out.

I don't want to do this anymore because it's really hurting our relationship....how do u guys deal with the distance?

[iceyspots 0]

I feel like a crazy person!! I get all mad and upset when my fiance goes out with is friends. I know it sounds immature. It's not a trust issue at all, I just get jealous because I want to be with him so badly when he's having a good time. I know he's not doing anything wrong but i still get upset.

I know it's really just the distance thing. If we were together then I couldn't care less if he went out.

I don't want to do this anymore because it's really hurting our relationship....how do u guys deal with the distance?

Go out with your friends and have a good time and call it even?

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

He needs to go out, as do you! Life has to keep moving, otherwise you will go crazy!

[Perseverance 1]

I guess I dont understand...what exactly is upsetting you when he goes out, and is it what he is doing when he is out that is upsetting?

[Melissa1 0]

I guess I dont understand...what exactly is upsetting you when he goes out, and is it what he is doing when he is out that is upsetting?

He doesn't do anything wrong....just regular guy stuff i suppose. I guess i just get upset because we can't enjoy life together The stupidest part of all of it is i go do stuff too....like i said it isn't a trust issue at all. Maybe my whole thing is just the distance i don't know.

[gwenneh 7]

I dealt with it because he had his own life before we got together and it would be selfish to deny him that simply because I was 3500 miles away and couldn't share it with him.

[Melissa1 0]

I dealt with it because he had his own life before we got together and it would be selfish to deny him that simply because I was 3500 miles away and couldn't share it with him.

Of course....I do not want to deny him anything. I think he should have a life....and me as well.

I guess i just need to toughen up and get over it.

[meddykomp 0]

I know the distance can be hard. I went through those same feelings. Try and remember that he is giving up his life to come be with you and it is natural that he will want to spend some time with his friends before he moves away. It also helps if you can get your schedules to match. You go out at the same time that he does.

Good luck,

Angel

[Melissa1 0]

I know the distance can be hard. I went through those same feelings. Try and remember that he is giving up his life to come be with you and it is natural that he will want to spend some time with his friends before he moves away. It also helps if you can get your schedules to match. You go out at the same time that he does.

Good luck,

Angel

Ha thanks guys. Its like just writing this I see how dumb i sound. I guess just getting out of my head and saying it or writing it makes me see it from a different perspective.

[Fandango 1,439]

How do I deal with it? I realise that he's walking away from his entire existance to start over here with me, so if that means him going out a little more than he usually would...well as long as he's not shirking his responsibilities & getting his stuff done, I don't see where I have room to complain. Nor would I....I've chased him out of the house on many occassions when I've had time to spend with him, but hey....we'll have plenty of time...how long's he got hangin with his marras or goin to a footy match?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I don't want to do this anymore because it's really hurting our relationship....how do u guys deal with the distance?

What do you say to him after he goes out? Do you get upset with him, become silent, yell, berate him? Knowing that you're wrong to be jealous is the first step. I've gotten used to going to a see movie by myself but I know it's awkward. We have set times that we talk on the phone usually and then I occupy the rest of time with things that I know I should be doing or things I want to do. Whatever you do, don't catch yourself idling and being pre-occupied with missing him too much - it'll drive you crazy.

[jezebelseven 0]

I've felt the same way before, but I eventually got over it. I saw how miserable he was when he wasn't getting out much, I could feel his depression, I saw how happy he was after coming home from a night away from the computer.

My FH and I are both fairly private people, not huge groups of friends (I have one I see about 2 times a year, in all honesty. My social group seperated out of high school, and I haven't seen any of my group in years because of some of the poor choices they are making.).

I know how miserable *I* get when I can't get out of the house, and when I thought about it for awhile, I realized forcing him to do the same was NOT how I should be treating someone I love. I now encourage him to go out as much as possible, when a friend invites him and he tries to talk himself out of it, I'll talk him into it and tell him why he should. He shouldn't stop living his life because I have no life, or just because I'm not there. Plus, when he moves here, I'm going to have him for years and years and his friends will be an ocean away. I can't be that selfish. Let his friends have him for now, while they can.

Edited August 12, 2006 by jezebelseven

[Melissa1 0]

I don't want to do this anymore because it's really hurting our relationship....how do u guys deal with the distance?

What do you say to him after he goes out? Do you get upset with him, become silent, yell, berate him? Knowing that you're wrong to be jealous is the first step. I've gotten used to going to a see movie by myself but I know it's awkward. We have set times that we talk on the phone usually and then I occupy the rest of time with things that I know I should be doing or things I want to do. Whatever you do, don't catch yourself idling and being pre-occupied with missing him too much - it'll drive you crazy.

Actually after he goes out I'm usually fine...its right before he does. I don't really yell or anything I guess I'm just short with him. Kinda mean towards him even. I completely know that i'm wrong. And I do stuff to keep myself busy but my mind is always going and going and how much i miss him just keeps popping up.

I love him more than anything but sometimes I just think I don't have what it takes to get through this. Because since i know i'm wrong i think it isn't fair to him that he has to deal with this insane person (me) so maybe i would just be doing him a favor by ending it. But then it's like i really don't want to give up, i know thats the wrong thing to do when you've found someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Ha, i feel like i have mulitple personalities. I'll get over it because i don't have a choice.

[Perseverance 1]

I prefer him to be around his friends...I dont want him to be alone thinking about how long this is taking, They are a good distraction for him. I trust him 100% threre has never been a time that I have called that he has not answerd his phone.

[Melissa1 0]

I prefer him to be around his friends...I dont want him to be alone thinking about how long this is taking, They are a good distraction for him. I trust him 100% threre has never been a time that I have called that he has not answerd his phone.

That's very true....I guess it's better that he's having fun then being bored and lonely. I honestly do not have any trust issues either....I know that's something I don't have to worry about. I think I just miss him so much that it totally clouds my logical thinking and it's hard for me to see the big picture....like the reward we have in the end.

thanks everyone for replys as it was definitely a silly question.