The worst has happened to me

[*JG* 2]

I'm a little concerned about the references to "her room".

Please make sure you are protecting yourself along the rest of this journey.

[vio0633 0]

So let me get this straight. Your wife came here from the PI and left you for a filipina friend? Did you mean filipino? Now it is easy to see why in Dubai they lock passports away.

No a female filipina friend. My wife came here from Subic bay near Olongapo city.

[vio0633 0]

how long have you and ur wife been together? Important: did you tell her that you love her and you want to patch things up? Did you make this clear to her and does she understand? If that is the case and you told her, you cant stop her from leaving you. Maybe you two can agree to counselling? Or try to contact thru her friend and see whats up cuz obviously she is not giving you any indication really of why this is happening. If things are ending with you and u dont know on immigration side, call USCIS regarding your responsibilities. Good luck. okay?>>>

My wife and I have known each other for 2 years. I met her while stationed in subic bay for a small amount of time. I went back a bunch of times on vacation to see her and stay with her family. Yes I have told my wife I still love her and miss her very much. I have explained that I want to work at this marriage and ask if she comes home here soon or calls me. Im not forcing her to do anything...if she wants to go she can go. I just dont have any clue as to where she is or if she is ok. I deserve to know this since im her sponser here in the US and im also her husband. For her to leave me like this is not right. But at the same time I feel no anger or hate for what she has done. I cant get counseling...she isnt here. I cant contact her friend because she has now disconnected her phone.

Edited August 1, 2007 by vio0633

[^KK^ 3]

Sorry to hear this. You'll make it!!!

[xuemei 0]

My wife and I have known each other for 2 years. I met her while stationed in subic bay for a small amount of time. I went back a bunch of times on vacation to see her and stay with her family. Yes I have told my wife I still love her and miss her very much. I have explained that I want to work at this marriage and ask if she comes home here soon or calls me. Im not forcing her to do anything...if she wants to go she can go. I just dont have any clue as to where she is or if she is ok. I deserve to know this since im her sponser here in the US and im also her husband. For her to leave me like this is not right. But at the same time I feel no anger or hate for what she has done. I cant get counseling...she isnt here. I cant contact her friend because she has now disconnected her phone.

You've known her for 2 years and she does this to you?? With all due respect, a wife doesn't get to do this to her husband or visa versa. You are not angry? Maybe not, but I would think pain is a big thing here.

Maybe she doesn't know the immigration laws here. But now I would be very leary about going forward with the process if she decides she wants to return. Now her only option is to return to you make the marriage work so you can proceed with AOS... otherwise, she must return to her country or hide here in the US. If she hides, they probably won't find her or look for her for that matter. Still, my self respect would be an issue if I allowed someone to use me get to the US and they not care about my feelings. But that is me.

Edited August 1, 2007 by xuemei

[vio0633 0]

My wife and I have known each other for 2 years. I met her while stationed in subic bay for a small amount of time. I went back a bunch of times on vacation to see her and stay with her family. Yes I have told my wife I still love her and miss her very much. I have explained that I want to work at this marriage and ask if she comes home here soon or calls me. Im not forcing her to do anything...if she wants to go she can go. I just dont have any clue as to where she is or if she is ok. I deserve to know this since im her sponser here in the US and im also her husband. For her to leave me like this is not right. But at the same time I feel no anger or hate for what she has done. I cant get counseling...she isnt here. I cant contact her friend because she has now disconnected her phone.

You've known her for 2 years and she does this to you?? With all due respect, a wife doesn't get to do this to her husband or visa versa. You are not angry? Maybe not, but I would think pain is a big thing here.

Maybe she doesn't know the immigration laws here. But now I would be very leary about going forward with the process if she decides she wants to return. Now her only option is to return to you make the marriage work so you can proceed with AOS... otherwise, she must return to her country or hide here in the US. If she hides, they probably won't find her or look for her for that matter. Still, my self respect would be an issue if I allowed someone to use me get to the US and they not care about my feelings. But that is me.

No im not angry at all. Im more embarrassed and violated. My wife who I have known for 2 years and have worked so hard for her K1 visa process and all is gone. Just gone...I just started her AOS packet and dropped $1,000 on it. Now she aint here and im out money. Im getting myself back on my feet financially. I just dont know when the big decision for divorce or informing USCIS should happen. Im thinking very soon here. Im going to go talk to navy JAG here on monday. They can give legal advice and help protect me if anything wrong happens. This is the worst I have ever had to deal with in my life.

[xuemei 0]

My wife and I have known each other for 2 years. I met her while stationed in subic bay for a small amount of time. I went back a bunch of times on vacation to see her and stay with her family. Yes I have told my wife I still love her and miss her very much. I have explained that I want to work at this marriage and ask if she comes home here soon or calls me. Im not forcing her to do anything...if she wants to go she can go. I just dont have any clue as to where she is or if she is ok. I deserve to know this since im her sponser here in the US and im also her husband. For her to leave me like this is not right. But at the same time I feel no anger or hate for what she has done. I cant get counseling...she isnt here. I cant contact her friend because she has now disconnected her phone.

You've known her for 2 years and she does this to you?? With all due respect, a wife doesn't get to do this to her husband or visa versa. You are not angry? Maybe not, but I would think pain is a big thing here.

Maybe she doesn't know the immigration laws here. But now I would be very leary about going forward with the process if she decides she wants to return. Now her only option is to return to you make the marriage work so you can proceed with AOS... otherwise, she must return to her country or hide here in the US. If she hides, they probably won't find her or look for her for that matter. Still, my self respect would be an issue if I allowed someone to use me get to the US and they not care about my feelings. But that is me.

No im not angry at all. Im more embarrassed and violated. My wife who I have known for 2 years and have worked so hard for her K1 visa process and all is gone. Just gone...I just started her AOS packet and dropped $1,000 on it. Now she aint here and im out money. Im getting myself back on my feet financially. I just dont know when the big decision for divorce or informing USCIS should happen. Im thinking very soon here. Im going to go talk to navy JAG here on monday. They can give legal advice and help protect me if anything wrong happens. This is the worst I have ever had to deal with in my life.

I would call now and try to stop the process. She has cut off access from you. Call now and inform them what has happened. They can stop the process. I do understand the embarrassment, I was telling everyone about her. I was sooo in love with her and she just left me after 6 weeks of being here. I was humiatied. I didn't abuse her at all, but that is what she said. If your wife gets the green card, she will be able to marry someone else in the next 2 years and then her stay here forever I think, but I'm not sure.

Still, don't wait... this was a premedtated act in my opinion as was my case... call the USCIS and protect yourself. she can actually get you to support her under the I-864 if a judge permits her to do so. act now man... no woman who is sicere, leaves and gives her husband no way to contact her... that is cruel and unusual treatment. GO !! good luck. My blessings are with you

[Cry_Tuff 0]

Do you happen to know if she knew this Fillipino friend of hers prior to coming to the United States?

Also, what worries me, is you haven't said much about your baby...just her. The baby is innocent in all of this...and just make sure she is with whomever will be able to provide her the best care.

[akatagirl 0]

I am very sorry that you have no idea about the whereabouts of your daughter and your wife..As far as what I know and have read about other vj members who have gone through this, you have nothing to worry about...let's just hope that she doe not try to pull any other tricks like others have done (i.e. accusing the US spouse of abuse, etc..)..As other vjers have said, the best thing you can do is talk with an immigration lawyer and for your sake, document all this on paper (i.e. when she left, when you last spoke to her etc..)

I am sure that if you are not able to get a hold of her and work things out, you will need to have all these things played out on a timeline...

My heart goes out to you..Everytime I read about how another vj marriage is in serious trouble or it looks like the vj marriage occurred under false pretenses, my heart sinks cause all that we have to go through to get our loved ones here...You seem like a very nice man to not be angry..You should not feel embarassed at all but if indeed this marriage does not work out and you do meet another woman overseas, just take heed to all that you have been experiencing now and proceed cautiously...Take care and wish you all the best...

[doodlebug 3]

Do you happen to know if she knew this Fillipino friend of hers prior to coming to the United States?

Also, what worries me, is you haven't said much about your baby...just her. The baby is innocent in all of this...and just make sure she is with whomever will be able to provide her the best care.

ditto

[vio0633 0]

Do you happen to know if she knew this Fillipino friend of hers prior to coming to the United States?

Also, what worries me, is you haven't said much about your baby...just her. The baby is innocent in all of this...and just make sure she is with whomever will be able to provide her the best care.

This is a new friend she met here in the US when she came here. I now think she is with her mom in ca. I agree on my daughter...im so worried about her and its not fair for her to be seperated from her dad. She loves me so much and knew I work so hard for our family. I just wish my wife saw the world like she did. She didnt ask for much and knew I loved her very much. Im so worried about her and im still willing to take care of her. No way will I ever stop beign a father to her. If she needs clothes I will mail it to her. If she needs food or anything...well everything is here. Her mom is the legal guardian and she needs to decide what is right for her not me. Trust me...I love my daughter very much. I havent forgotten about her 1 bit.

[vio0633 0]

My wife and I have known each other for 2 years. I met her while stationed in subic bay for a small amount of time. I went back a bunch of times on vacation to see her and stay with her family. Yes I have told my wife I still love her and miss her very much. I have explained that I want to work at this marriage and ask if she comes home here soon or calls me. Im not forcing her to do anything...if she wants to go she can go. I just dont have any clue as to where she is or if she is ok. I deserve to know this since im her sponser here in the US and im also her husband. For her to leave me like this is not right. But at the same time I feel no anger or hate for what she has done. I cant get counseling...she isnt here. I cant contact her friend because she has now disconnected her phone.

You've known her for 2 years and she does this to you?? With all due respect, a wife doesn't get to do this to her husband or visa versa. You are not angry? Maybe not, but I would think pain is a big thing here.

Maybe she doesn't know the immigration laws here. But now I would be very leary about going forward with the process if she decides she wants to return. Now her only option is to return to you make the marriage work so you can proceed with AOS... otherwise, she must return to her country or hide here in the US. If she hides, they probably won't find her or look for her for that matter. Still, my self respect would be an issue if I allowed someone to use me get to the US and they not care about my feelings. But that is me.

No im not angry at all. Im more embarrassed and violated. My wife who I have known for 2 years and have worked so hard for her K1 visa process and all is gone. Just gone...I just started her AOS packet and dropped $1,000 on it. Now she aint here and im out money. Im getting myself back on my feet financially. I just dont know when the big decision for divorce or informing USCIS should happen. Im thinking very soon here. Im going to go talk to navy JAG here on monday. They can give legal advice and help protect me if anything wrong happens. This is the worst I have ever had to deal with in my life.

I would call now and try to stop the process. She has cut off access from you. Call now and inform them what has happened. They can stop the process. I do understand the embarrassment, I was telling everyone about her. I was sooo in love with her and she just left me after 6 weeks of being here. I was humiatied. I didn't abuse her at all, but that is what she said. If your wife gets the green card, she will be able to marry someone else in the next 2 years and then her stay here forever I think, but I'm not sure.

Still, don't wait... this was a premedtated act in my opinion as was my case... call the USCIS and protect yourself. she can actually get you to support her under the I-864 if a judge permits her to do so. act now man... no woman who is sicere, leaves and gives her husband no way to contact her... that is cruel and unusual treatment. GO !! good luck. My blessings are with you

I am going to counseling and im also writing a journal of all the hurt emotions I go thru everyday. I have told my military chain of command of my situation and have a police report on her leaving me. They say nothing they can do since she leave willingly and not kidnapped or anything. I will go thru counseling a little longer and then make the final decision to divorce and report to INS. Its just so hard to do this because I feel my wife may still love me and may want to come home. I just dont know...im so confused and so hurt. I dont know what to do anymore and dont want to do anything drastic yet. I need the strength from God to do this. I also need more money for divorce which is something I dont have right now. I have some but not alot. AOS process ran me preety dry on cash. So I need to get back on my own feet.

Off topic I thank everyone for their support and love on this situation. I feel better just telling people how I feel and what is going on. Everyone on her family side say its my fault she leave me and i need help for all the wrong things I did to her. They say I have abandoned her...yet im here at home still waiting and wanting my wife and daughter home. I wish things would work out and we could be together but I dont think its going to happen. I ask everyone to pray for me and pray for the stregth to get thru this. Thank you ver much for all your support and love to me even when you dont know me.

[Helmut & Bee 0]

I am going to counseling and im also writing a journal of all the hurt emotions I go thru everyday. I have told my military chain of command of my situation and have a police report on her leaving me. They say nothing they can do since she leave willingly and not kidnapped or anything. I will go thru counseling a little longer and then make the final decision to divorce and report to INS. Its just so hard to do this because I feel my wife may still love me and may want to come home. I just dont know...im so confused and so hurt. I dont know what to do anymore and dont want to do anything drastic yet. I need the strength from God to do this. I also need more money for divorce which is something I dont have right now. I have some but not alot. AOS process ran me preety dry on cash. So I need to get back on my own feet.

Off topic I thank everyone for their support and love on this situation. I feel better just telling people how I feel and what is going on. Everyone on her family side say its my fault she leave me and i need help for all the wrong things I did to her. They say I have abandoned her...yet im here at home still waiting and wanting my wife and daughter home. I wish things would work out and we could be together but I dont think its going to happen. I ask everyone to pray for me and pray for the stregth to get thru this. Thank you ver much for all your support and love to me even when you dont know me.

If you are an American citizen, and have a daughter, there is a good chance your daughter could be an American citizen also. (My fiancee is going through the K-1 process, but our son is an American, due to my citizenship, even though he was born in Thailand. The embassy issued a report of foreign birth abroad).

This is why it is important that you get legal advice. A friend of mine went through a similar situation like you (Married a foreign lady, had baby, and she "split"). Because the baby was American, and she claimed custody during the divorce, and received custody, he will now be paying child support until the baby is 18. It was a well planned and sleazy way by her to get "support" for the next 18 years.

Protect youself, and talk to a good lawer.

Good luck with everything.

H.

[vio0633 0]

Christine is not my daughter legally so I dont pay child support.

[Cry_Tuff 0]

Is she your daughter biologically?

My first marriage to my children's father ended because he abandoned us (before my son turned a year old) ...and he was a USC...so am I....(this was 6 years ago)...but he claimed he had to go "find himself" at the age of 28. I later found out he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and was bipolar...not to mention started cutting himself after he had left, which his family never told me anything about, he showed signs of depression...but that was it. I also found out thru a letter and pictures that he had cheated while "out finding himself".

So, you're not alone on the abondonment issue. If she has left for more than 5 days, with absolutely no contact, I know in Ohio, legally, she would have abondoned the marriage. Also, if her mother is already here in the US...not to be prejudgemental...but it sounds as if she wanted a way to get here to be with her family. Obviously she has told them some lies if they are thinking it's all your fault. My heart goes out to you on this...

Edited August 2, 2007 by ♥C and P♥