Victims of US citizens

[Aagha 3]

57 minutes ago, Villanelle said:

https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/true-survivor-stories

 

The link above has many stories of survivors. You can also use google to find a local DV group (or your psychiatrist/therapist may be able to refer you to a local group). I understand wanting to connect with others who have been through the same but DV impacts EVERYONE no matter their race, class, education, ethnicity, age..etc. Sadly it can happen to anyone. Yes, there may be specific things that you experienced as an immigrant but again everyone's story is unique as well as the same. Try to focus on the larger picture when seeking out support in groups rather then the differences. 

When people like and care for someone too much,  infatuation, attraction, ..then they realize who the other person is and file for annulment?  That's how I feel. Like my status and life in country will always be tied to this monster... then the threats...That's why I posted it here.

Edited October 20, 2020 by Aagha

[Villanelle 4,121]

@Aagha Sending hugs to you dear. I know its hard.  As I said before though there is unfortunately no subforum or thread for this specific issue on VJ. - Most people in that situation participate in the VAWA thread due to also needing help with immigration paperwork. I know I directed you there before and you were hesitant because it does contain a lot of technical information but it really is the only place on VJ where you can connect with others who are currently or have been in your shoes. You can make a brief post there about your basic story and ask for members who can relate (possibly from the same region or culture) to PM you if you are in need of a kind ear. Just be careful with your personal information and keep your interactions through the message feature on VJ. 

[ThaOne 101]

On 10/19/2020 at 10:07 PM, Aagha said:

When people like and care for someone too much,  infatuation, attraction, ..then they realize who the other person is and file for annulment?  That's how I feel. Like my status and life in country will always be tied to this monster... then the threats...That's why I posted it here.

I am not sure how someone who clearly is going through or went through a difficult time and is just posting an opinion and looking for answers can get such harsh comments from some people? All she did is say something from the heart. Those who know should just guide her to where to look for, correct her, give her some info, tell her what to file or at least have some sympathy.

But I just don't understand how some people can be so disrespectful and condescending just because they have thousands of posts. This is not how such a forum should be. You have some whose english isn't that good but have the nerve to tell this person that "it's simple words" when the OP doesn't understand what they mean, then make jokes about "it's a divorce lawyer" that the OP needs. This should not be permitted on such a forum. If the person doesn't know, why not just tell her/him instead of responding in such manners? If immigrants treat other immigrants this way, then what should natural born US citizens do then?

To the OP: sorry you had to go through what you went through. Please take the advice of some of the more considerate people here (i.e Villanelle...) and ignore the trolls with thousands and thousands of posts who yet don't really help.

[Aagha 3]

On 10/22/2020 at 6:41 AM, ThaOne said:

I am not sure how someone who clearly is going through or went through a difficult time and is just posting an opinion and looking for answers can get such harsh comments from some people? All she did is say something from the heart. Those who know should just guide her to where to look for, correct her, give her some info, tell her what to file or at least have some sympathy.

But I just don't understand how some people can be so disrespectful and condescending just because they have thousands of posts. This is not how such a forum should be. You have some whose english isn't that good but have the nerve to tell this person that "it's simple words" when the OP doesn't understand what they mean, then make jokes about "it's a divorce lawyer" that the OP needs. This should not be permitted on such a forum. If the person doesn't know, why not just tell her/him instead of responding in such manners? If immigrants treat other immigrants this way, then what should natural born US citizens do then?

To the OP: sorry you had to go through what you went through. Please take the advice of some of the more considerate people here (i.e Villanelle...) and ignore the trolls with thousands and thousands of posts who yet don't really help.

Thank you so much. I also noticed frequent commentators on this forum who keep coming back but offer no value in their comments- probably some sort of personal frustration they're trying to fix? 

 

I posted this because I think international relationships are specific and much different from any other 'local' situation. Regardless of whether the foreigner got their paperwork, it's also important to live in the country with serenity and peace. How do you do that knowing you got sponsored by someone who was evil and clinically described as a psychopath by a literal psychiatrist?! My lawyer was generally disinterested to hear anything other than signing administrative forms and brushed off any other concerns. It's like the goal is just to "get approved". But is it really? I spent 5 years with a person who isolated me and banned me from talking to absolutely anyone else and the only truth I knew I learned from them. 

 

I am wondering if there are at least some organizations that help and advise people who went through abusive relationships during the anti-immigrant political era.

 

[Orangesapples 1,954]

29 minutes ago, Aagha said:

Thank you so much. I also noticed frequent commentators on this forum who keep coming back but offer no value in their comments- probably some sort of personal frustration they're trying to fix? 

 

I posted this because I think international relationships are specific and much different from any other 'local' situation. Regardless of whether the foreigner got their paperwork, it's also important to live in the country with serenity and peace. How do you do that knowing you got sponsored by someone who was evil and clinically described as a psychopath by a literal psychiatrist?! My lawyer was generally disinterested to hear anything other than signing administrative forms and brushed off any other concerns. It's like the goal is just to "get approved". But is it really? I spent 5 years with a person who isolated me and banned me from talking to absolutely anyone else and the only truth I knew I learned from them. 

 

I am wondering if there are at least some organizations that help and advise people who went through abusive relationships during the anti-immigrant political era.

 

If your ex is a diagnosed psychopath, then what you've experienced must have been awful I agree that it's a different situation when there is immigration involved. I think your best bet is reaching out to women in the VAWA thread. Hugs

[Boiler 43,429]

Well it would certainly be different if they was an immigration consequence, like having to go through the VAWA process.

 

Just a quick point of order VAWA is a somewhat misleading term in that it applies to all genders, and it is not just women in the VAWA thread.

[Aagha 3]

9 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Well it would certainly be different if they was an immigration consequence, like having to go through the VAWA process.

 

Just a quick point of order VAWA is a somewhat misleading term in that it applies to all genders, and it is not just women in the VAWA thread.

I appreciate your need to correct my posts and the whole thread. Maybe you could dismiss yourself from it finally.

[Crazy Cat 39,214]

3 minutes ago, Aagha said:

I appreciate your need to correct my posts and the whole thread. Maybe you could dismiss yourself from it finally.

It is against the terms of service for this site to tell other not to post.  Everyone here is free to post.....just as you are free to ignore the posts of others.....Everyone can freely enjoy this site.

Edited October 23, 2020 by Lucky Cat

[ThaOne 101]

2 hours ago, Aagha said:

Thank you so much. I also noticed frequent commentators on this forum who keep coming back but offer no value in their comments- probably some sort of personal frustration they're trying to fix? 

 

I posted this because I think international relationships are specific and much different from any other 'local' situation. Regardless of whether the foreigner got their paperwork, it's also important to live in the country with serenity and peace. How do you do that knowing you got sponsored by someone who was evil and clinically described as a psychopath by a literal psychiatrist?! My lawyer was generally disinterested to hear anything other than signing administrative forms and brushed off any other concerns. It's like the goal is just to "get approved". But is it really? I spent 5 years with a person who isolated me and banned me from talking to absolutely anyone else and the only truth I knew I learned from them. 

 

I am wondering if there are at least some organizations that help and advise people who went through abusive relationships during the anti-immigrant political era.

 

Try and do some google searches, there must be some organizations and legal counseling organizations around you who are willing and dedicated to actually help people in need and will offer help and guidance pro-bono. Luckily in the US there are people in the US who have a heart. Can't say the same about some people on this forum who themselves are immigrants but seem to have forgotten that and behave in reprehensible ways. That's life. Just ignore them.

Best of luck to you. 

[TBoneTX 43,048]

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