I’m not doing so good right now.

[Debzib88 85]

My last post was about an abusive partner. Well stupidly stayed. And just recently had to have the cops called and arrest him because he pointed a loaded gun at my head. I freaked out and called the cops. They took him and he isn’t being bailed out. I don’t know what’s going to happen to him. 
 

But anyways. I’m really struggling to stay strong right now but I need help, I don’t know what I’m entitled too and what I’m not. I don’t want to become a public charge. But I don’t want to loose my apartment and end up in a shelter. My anxiety is so bad so please don’t be mean. My son is 10 months old in the next couple of days. I don’t think I want to go back to the Uk. But now my husband is in jail my sponsor (his grandparents) are not helping me. 
am I going to lose my right to be here. I want to give my son a good life. And believe me I’m trying to keep it together. but I’m a mess. 
 

 

[Georgia16 2,858]

11 minutes ago, Debzib88 said:

My last post was about an abusive partner. Well stupidly stayed. And just recently had to have the cops called and arrest him because he pointed a loaded gun at my head. I freaked out and called the cops. They took him and he isn’t being bailed out. I don’t know what’s going to happen to him. 
 

But anyways. I’m really struggling to stay strong right now but I need help, I don’t know what I’m entitled too and what I’m not. I don’t want to become a public charge. But I don’t want to loose my apartment and end up in a shelter. My anxiety is so bad so please don’t be mean. My son is 10 months old in the next couple of days. I don’t think I want to go back to the Uk. But now my husband is in jail my sponsor (his grandparents) are not helping me. 
am I going to lose my right to be here. I want to give my son a good life. And believe me I’m trying to keep it together. but I’m a mess. 
 

 

Be sure you are safe and will be told if he gets out somehow so you will be safe. 
before you wanted to go home but now you want to stay? 
You have a Green card so you are free to stay when you file for divorce and have the decree you can file for your 10 green card with a divorce waiver. 
Make sure you and baby are safe. Can you get help from family and friends in UK with money? Do you have a job now? 

[Christy&J 837]

1 hour ago, Debzib88 said:

My last post was about an abusive partner. Well stupidly stayed. And just recently had to have the cops called and arrest him because he pointed a loaded gun at my head. I freaked out and called the cops. They took him and he isn’t being bailed out. I don’t know what’s going to happen to him. 
 

But anyways. I’m really struggling to stay strong right now but I need help, I don’t know what I’m entitled too and what I’m not. I don’t want to become a public charge. But I don’t want to loose my apartment and end up in a shelter. My anxiety is so bad so please don’t be mean. My son is 10 months old in the next couple of days. I don’t think I want to go back to the Uk. But now my husband is in jail my sponsor (his grandparents) are not helping me. 
am I going to lose my right to be here. I want to give my son a good life. And believe me I’m trying to keep it together. but I’m a mess. 
 

 

I am sorry this is happening to you and your boy.

But please stay safe, put loaded gun to someone head is no joke ! Not at all !

Like other said that you can stay here legally and apply for 10 years visa with divorce waiver. Please don't have a mind set that you and your son wouldn't have a good life if it was not in US.

 

If you have friends or someone you can turn for help, please do. But now you should find a solution quick. I dont know what is your living situation, but make sure you are not living with this guy anymore in the same roof

[Thegirl 224]

1 hour ago, Debzib88 said:

My last post was about an abusive partner. Well stupidly stayed. And just recently had to have the cops called and arrest him because he pointed a loaded gun at my head. I freaked out and called the cops. They took him and he isn’t being bailed out. I don’t know what’s going to happen to him. 
 

But anyways. I’m really struggling to stay strong right now but I need help, I don’t know what I’m entitled too and what I’m not. I don’t want to become a public charge. But I don’t want to loose my apartment and end up in a shelter. My anxiety is so bad so please don’t be mean. My son is 10 months old in the next couple of days. I don’t think I want to go back to the Uk. But now my husband is in jail my sponsor (his grandparents) are not helping me. 
am I going to lose my right to be here. I want to give my son a good life. And believe me I’m trying to keep it together. but I’m a mess. 
 

 

Agreed safety is you number 1 concern. There are services to help you even as a green card holder. You are not alone. Do not be afraid to get help. It is not your fault. 

https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/programs/family-violence-prevention-services/programs/ndvh

 

[Debzib88 85]

6 minutes ago, Thegirl said:

Agreed safety is you number 1 concern. There are services to help you even as a green card holder. You are not alone. Do not be afraid to get help. It is not your fault. 

https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/programs/family-violence-prevention-services/programs/ndvh

 

Thank you. A domestic violence team have been in touch. But I just couldn’t focus on all the information they were trying to give me 

[Debzib88 85]

11 minutes ago, Christy&J said:

I am sorry this is happening to you and your boy.

But please stay safe, put loaded gun to someone head is no joke ! Not at all !

Like other said that you can stay here legally and apply for 10 years visa with divorce waiver. Please don't have a mind set that you and your son wouldn't have a good life if it was not in US.

 

If you have friends or someone you can turn for help, please do. But now you should find a solution quick. I dont know what is your living situation, but make sure you are not living with this guy anymore in the same roof

He is in jail. I’m not with him. I just need to figure out mine and my sons living situation 

[BobKat 62]

You have the option of filing I-751 without your spouse with a domestic abuse/battery waiver:

 

https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/filling-out-form-i-751-with-waiver-based-abuse-battering.html
 

Or here in the I-751 filing instructions, page 6, 4th paragraph:

https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/files/form/i-751instr.pdf
 

also: 

https://www.uscis.gov/archive/archive-news/information-legal-rights-available-immigrant-victims-domestic-violence-united-states-and-facts-about-immigrating-a-marriage-based-visa-fact-sheet
 

 

[millefleur 5,035]

**Moved from General Discussion to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits to be among similar threads**

[TriloByte 1,818]

Aw OP.

 

This is terrible, I'm sorry. *hugs*

[portorusa 431]

OP, sorry to hear what happened. It is up to you what to do next but if I were you, I would do the following:

- get a restraining order against your abuser ASAP

- if he's still in jail I would NOT let him return home. You can do it if receive a call from police/judge answering "No" to the question, "Is he welcome back home?"

- call Domestic Violence Hotline and ask them for resources to victims of DV in your area

- locate local WIC or other social services agencies providing help for women with small children

- apply for food stamps with DES (many states allow green card holders to apply, some even for state medical insurance)

- file for divorce as soon as possible

- look up special housing programs for women with kids and apply for a subsidized apartment

You must be at a juncture where you may feel overwhelmed and lost. Do not worry, help is out there. You just need to know how to look for it.

Whatever you decide to do, PLEASE PLEASE do not allow yourself to forgive him and get back together! He is dangerous, and you may end up dead.

[portorusa 431]

One more thing, Do not be afraid to become a public charge. You will be protected by VAWA if file I-751 based on divorce due to an abuse. You will be exempt from I-864 and I-944.

[walter99 40]

Stay strong! Sorry to read your story!

 

 

Off topic :  do cops arrest the abusive partner without a proof ? What if the call is made for revenge ? How can the wife prove that she was threatened if in the house there is nobody else except her partner ? 

[portorusa 431]

7 hours ago, walter99 said:

Stay strong! Sorry to read your story!

 

 

Off topic :  do cops arrest the abusive partner without a proof ? What if the call is made for revenge ? How can the wife prove that she was threatened if in the house there is nobody else except her partner ? 

In situation like that there are often no witnesses. It’s mostly “he said, she said”. Normally the parties are separated by the cops and interrogated individually to see if their stories match. The cops are experienced and trained to see the signs of fear, distress, physical assault, destruction in furniture, etc. Rarely, yes it happens that the arrests are made based on erroneous conclusion. Sometimes both parties get arrested. But in most cases the real perpetrator has been deducted correctly. 

[Villanelle 4,121]

On 7/1/2020 at 3:19 PM, portorusa said:

One more thing, Do not be afraid to become a public charge. You will be protected by VAWA if file I-751 based on divorce due to an abuse. You will be exempt from I-864 and I-944.

This is worded poorly. I get what you mean though, just want to clarify it better.

 

When you get a GC through marriage (which means 130-485 or K-AOS) then there is an 864 in effect by the spouse as the sponsor. The 864 will always be in effect. It only ends when the immigrant becomes a citizen or gets 40 credits with SSA. However if someone gets their GC through VAWA (360-485) there is no 864. She has her GC based on marriage- so there is an 864 and its not going away. 

 

Also public charge determination is ONLY done when the GC is first issued. Its not done at ROC or naturalization. So she does not have any issues about being found to be a public charge. A separate issue is being able to use social service benefits. When there is an active 864 any benefits used can be collected from the sponsor. IMO that should not concern her. Her husband is abusive and if he has to end up paying back benefits she got- good. But more importantly- immigrants are barred from receiving various social services for the first 5 years- EXCEPT in cases of abuse. So VAWA laws allow an immigrant victim of abuse to get help. She needs to go down to her local welfare agency and bring proof of the abuse (police reports) and request help as a victim of abuse. They will enter her into the system as such which will make her eligible for various programs and override their systems requirements for considering her husbands income/864 sponsor when determining benefits. None of the benefits she would get would ever be held against her. Again, they may go after the sponsors for it but thats not her concern. 

 

She also should be aware that she is entitled to support from him under the 864. This is separate from divorce/alimony although in some places the divorce court will consider the 864. I suggest she googles 864 enforcement attny. Most likely she can find one to represent her. They will not charge her as 864 requires the sponsor to pay all the legal fees for her side.  

 

She also should find a divorce attny and see about getting some kind of temp spousal support and possession of the home during the divorce process. When theres abuse the court tends to be favorable to the victim. They are not likely to tell an abused mother with a 10 month old child to leave the home. 

 

She also needs to follow up with the victims advocate at the local police station and make sure that the guns are taken away. 

 

To the OP- I am sorry this happened. Stay strong. I know a lot of info is being thrown at you and its a stressful time and hard to understand and process it all. If you have any questions please post them or you can PM me if you need to. 

[portorusa 431]

Thanks, Villanelle!