Visiting boyfriend in USA

[LXK3X3 7]

Hi There,

 

I honestly think the main reason I'm posting is for some reassurance and advice. I have really bad anxiety and am heading over to the USA to visit my boyfriend, this is our first time meeting. I'm there for 4 days and have my return flight as I have to be back home for work. 

 

So here is the backstory. When I was in my 20s, I was seeing someone in the USA. The last time I travelled there was 2005 where I was interrogated by border patrol and it terrified me. I was let in but after coming home, the relationship just wasn't working. 

 

Now I'm heading to meet my new boyfriend for the first time. I have been approved my ESTA, have my return flight, hotel info which is booked in my boyfriends name etc. We are going to be sightseeing etc. My boss is also sending me a message from her business account to state I work for her and am due back etc. 

 

In the last few days I've literally worried myself sick over going through border patrol. I have anxiety and I know I shouldn't read the forums but I'm really making myself ill. I've seen posts saying to say I'm just visiting a friend then others that say be completely open but don't give too much info. The thought of being turned away is terrifying me and I'm making myself ill. 

 

Am I worrying over nothing? I've lost count of the number of forums I've read. I intend to say I'm visiting someone I met online and we are going to be sightseeing. 

 

Any advice would be amazing. Sorry for the long story. 

 

Thanks. 

[Lil bear 3,831]

1 minute ago, LXK3X3 said:

Hi There,

 

I honestly think the main reason I'm posting is for some reassurance and advice. I have really bad anxiety and am heading over to the USA to visit my boyfriend, this is our first time meeting. I'm there for 4 days and have my return flight as I have to be back home for work. 

 

So here is the backstory. When I was in my 20s, I was seeing someone in the USA. The last time I travelled there was 2005 where I was interrogated by border patrol and it terrified me. I was let in but after coming home, the relationship just wasn't working. 

 

Now I'm heading to meet my new boyfriend for the first time. I have been approved my ESTA, have my return flight, hotel info which is booked in my boyfriends name etc. We are going to be sightseeing etc. My boss is also sending me a message from her business account to state I work for her and am due back etc. 

 

In the last few days I've literally worried myself sick over going through border patrol. I have anxiety and I know I shouldn't read the forums but I'm really making myself ill. I've seen posts saying to say I'm just visiting a friend then others that say be completely open but don't give too much info. The thought of being turned away is terrifying me and I'm making myself ill. 

 

Am I worrying over nothing? I've lost count of the number of forums I've read. I intend to say I'm visiting someone I met online and we are going to be sightseeing. 

 

Any advice would be amazing. Sorry for the long story. 

 

Thanks. 

No entry is ever “ guaranteed” but ... Answer any questions honestly and succinctly. Your last visit was 2005... Lots has happened in your life since then !! Be confident! Carry your employer letter .. practice all your calming techniques. Enjoy the visit. !  

[DELETEME1234 208]

No one can really tell you what’s going to happen at the border because it depends on so many random factors. 
 

My suggestion would be to just be honest, typically CBP officers seem to appreciate it when you’re forthcoming (YMMV) and when you tell them you’re here to visit a ‘friend’ it’ll take them approximately 0.2 seconds to realise there’s something romantic going on. 

What actually will happen and if they’ll ask about your time in secondary years back remains a question for all of us. Just soothe yourself with the knowledge that the vast majority of people is admitted into the US and being enough documentation to show you’re practically anchored to your home country. 
 

Good luck!

[lucardo3 220]

I would say visiting a friend and that`s it. Since you have second time having a boyfriend here, How do you meet them if you don`t mind me asking?

[LXK3X3 7]

Just now, lucardo3 said:

I would say visiting a friend and that`s it. Since you have second time having a boyfriend here, How do you meet them if you don`t mind me asking?

We met online and clicked. My concern is if I say friend and they check the hotel reservation which is in his name and then become suspicious why I didn't disclose he is my boyfriend? It's like a double edged sword. 

 

I want to be honest and tell them I've met someone online and I am here to meet them face to face. 

[lucardo3 220]

Just now, LXK3X3 said:

We met online and clicked. My concern is if I say friend and they check the hotel reservation which is in his name and then become suspicious why I didn't disclose he is my boyfriend? It's like a double edged sword. 

 

I want to be honest and tell them I've met someone online and I am here to meet them face to face. 

You can stay with a male friend in a hotel together. This is America. No one will look or ask why. But yeah if you are so concerned, I would encourage you to tell the truth for you own mental comfort.

[Nat&Amy 623]

Never lie. CBP officers are trained to detect when people are uncomfortable and will probe if they suspect anything. Try instead to give short answers, and most importantly, only answer what you're asked. I once had a visa to the United States denied and on my first trip after that, I was worried sick they would give me a hard time. They didn't. Try to put your mind at ease, even though it's a difficult task. The more relaxed you are, the more confidence you will transpire, and that makes a difference.

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

18 minutes ago, lucardo3 said:

 Since you have second time having a boyfriend here, How do you meet them if you don`t mind me asking?

her second one since 2005? You imply 2 in 15 years is suspicious? lol

 

 

[lucardo3 220]

12 minutes ago, SusieQQQ said:

her second one since 2005? You imply 2 in 15 years is suspicious? lol

 

 

Lol she can meet 124 of them in 2 years, i don`t imply anything but curious.

[LXK3X3 7]

Just now, lucardo3 said:

Lol she can meet 124 of them in 2 years, i don`t imply anything but curious.

No no lol. Just 2.

[Rosendothe3 0]

So i have the same issue my self , if she pays for her flight and hotel to visit me , would it be suspicious to them?

[goldhex 21]

From my personal experience (15+ trips from the UK to the US to visit my then girlfriend now fiancée) over the last 6 years I have never had an issue with any CBP officer at any of the ports of entry (ATL, MCO, DUB, DTW) I've been through. 

 

Just answer their questions honestly and you'll be absolutely fine!

 

Enjoy your trip

Edited March 11, 2020 by goldhex

[Zoeeeeeee 795]

I used to fly back and forth to visit my boyfriend, then fiancé (now husband) in the US, prior to us starting the K1 process and me eventually moving here. I always got in fine. I'd try not to worry and just be honest.

 

On a totally separate note, and whilst it makes me feel incredibly boring to say this, as you're traveling out for the very first time to meet your boyfriend and you're planning to share a room, etc - please make sure people know where you are and make sure you stay safe.

 

Ok, mum-spiel over - appreciate you didn't ask for advice re that, but felt compelled to mention it. I know some people who've had horrible experiences when dating out here.

[LXK3X3 7]

Just now, Zoeeeeeee said:

I used to fly back and forth to visit my boyfriend, then fiancé (now husband) in the US, prior to us starting the K1 process and me eventually moving here. I always got in fine. I'd try not to worry and just be honest.

 

On a totally separate note, and whilst it makes me feel incredibly boring to say this, as you're traveling out for the very first time to meet your boyfriend and you're planning to share a room, etc - please make sure people know where you are and make sure you stay safe.

 

Ok, mum-spiel over - appreciate you didn't ask for advice re that, but felt compelled to mention it. I know some people who've had horrible experiences when dating out here.

Already handled. I have friends there and we have talked about that.

[LoveJonLovell 306]

Like others have said, if you're honest, you'll be fine. I told the officer on my first trip out that I was meeting my, as she was then, GF for the first time. They were excited for me.

 

The fact it's such a short trip will only cement that. 

 

My most recent trip was for 5 weeks. THAT was the one they questioned as they thought I was going to get married. (That was the one where we got engaged)

 

Good luck. Have fun. BE SAFE!