Republican Steve King: if not for incest and rape 'would there be any population left?'

[Boris Farage 353]

1 hour ago, Steeleballz said:

 

  Men certainly have say in contraception. Use a condom. Make one little trip to the urologist and snip a tiny little tubule. Abstain. Many direct options available to choose from. Not sure why one would approach this as if telling your wife to take a pill is the only thing you can do. 

Good advice. Would you advise this hypothetical male to include his woman in on the vasectomy decision, or to just do it secretly?

[Steeleballz 7,550]

13 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Good advice. Would you advise this hypothetical male to include his woman in on the vasectomy decision, or to just do it secretly?

 

   The objection to having a vasectomy would be whether or not you want to have more children, in which case I personally would discuss it first. So much easier than having it come up after the procedure is done.

 

   You do not require consent, nor does it need to be done in secret. 

[laylalex 7,247]

16 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Good advice. Would you advise this hypothetical male to include his woman in on the vasectomy decision, or to just do it secretly?

Well, I think that is DEFINITELY one where you'd want to get your partner's input, just like when a woman wants an elective hysterectomy or tubal ligation. Does that mean the other partner gets to veto it? No. Of course not. But spouses should be OPEN with each other. Without trust and openness, what is a marriage?

[Boris Farage 353]

1 minute ago, Steeleballz said:

 

   The objection to having a vasectomy would be whether or not you want to have more children, in which case I personally would discuss it first. So much easier than having it come up after the procedure is done.

 

   You do not require consent, nor does it need to be done in secret. 

That was a clever non-answer. Hats off to you. 😉

 

The point being, I've been criticized for suggesting that women on birth control should let their partner know. "Consent" keeps being thrown in my face, even though it was blatantly obvious that the context I used the word in was to simply have a discussion.

 

The ladies tell me no man has any right to expect input on a birth control decision. And yet I imagine if their husbands had a vasectomy without involving them, it would be a much different story. It's a double-standard.

[Steeleballz 7,550]

2 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

That was a clever non-answer. Hats off to you. 😉

 

The point being, I've been criticized for suggesting that women on birth control should let their partner know. "Consent" keeps being thrown in my face, even though it was blatantly obvious that the context I used the word in was to simply have a discussion.

 

The ladies tell me no man has any right to expect input on a birth control decision. And yet I imagine if their husbands had a vasectomy without involving them, it would be a much different story. It's a double-standard.

 

   My personal feeling is the same. There is no reason not to discuss birth control, but it is ultimately the woman's decision. 

[Boris Farage 353]

5 minutes ago, Steeleballz said:

 

   My personal feeling is the same. There is no reason not to discuss birth control, but it is ultimately the woman's decision. 

I suppose we diverge on that point. In a marriage, I believe it's ultimately a joint decision. And certainly not a decision to be performed secretly.

[Boris Farage 353]

15 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Without trust and openness, what is a marriage?

A bloody sham.

[Boris Farage 353]

3 hours ago, laylalex said:

Edit to add: since we're poking around in each other's former marriages, were you and your ex on the same page about BC? Did you have a say in the contraception she was using? Just curious.  

Throughout my marriage, my ex eschewed birth control. We both wanted children, but it wasn't in the cards. It happens, I never blamed her. I'll be honest though, with the way this thread has turned, it does make me reflect. I wonder if perhaps she wasn't telling me everything. I've learned a lot about her since our divorce, one of them being that she had been very loose with her interpretation of the truth. I do wonder now, and perhaps it's the Scotch pushing its agenda on my behalf, if there was more to it.

[Steeleballz 7,550]

9 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

I suppose we diverge on that point. In a marriage, I believe it's ultimately a joint decision. And certainly not a decision to be performed secretly.

 

  I guarantee you, if you are ever in the doctors office waiting to have a vasectomy performed, they are only going to ask for your consent, not your wife's. Not that I think there is anything wrong with it being a joint decision, but neither do I think it should be expected. 

[Boris Farage 353]

Just now, Steeleballz said:

 

  I guarantee you, if you are ever in the doctors office waiting to have a vasectomy performed, they are only going to ask for your consent, not your wife's. Not that I think there is anything wrong with it being a joint decision, but neither do I think it should be expected. 

Yes, of course. But whose turn it is to do the dishes or walk the dog isn't legislated either. I would just expect the couple to have an understanding and to abide by that understanding. And to be honest with each other. It's not too much to ask, is it?

[laylalex 7,247]

6 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

A bloody sham.

Exactly. That's why I have been very open with my fiance about how we are going to plan our family. He has a daughter already, and while he is open to the idea of having children with me, he wants me to have the ultimate say. As I said before, I'm ambivalent. I am 34, so my window is still open but narrowing. My ex is still smarting about not having had a chance to have a child with me, and thinks his window is CLOSED. He's 34 too! Ridiculous. It was a source of some frustration to him that my fiance has a child already, and he doesn't. If I had a child with my fiance, I cannot even imagine the DRAAAAMMMMAAAAAA that would ensue.   

 

2 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

Throughout my marriage, my ex eschewed birth control. We both wanted children, but it wasn't in the cards. It happens, I never blamed her. I'll be honest though, with the way this thread has turned, it does make me reflect. I wonder if perhaps she wasn't telling me everything. I've learned a lot about her since our divorce, one of them being that she had been very loose with her interpretation of the truth. I do wonder now, and perhaps it's the Scotch pushing its agenda on my behalf, if there was more to it.

Well, unfortunately that ship has sailed. You're still a youngish man, as you mentioned in your email today, so what's keeping you in the past? If your ex really was as evil and conniving and deceitful as you said, maybe it's best to move on and let her ruin someone else's life.  

[Steeleballz 7,550]

1 minute ago, Boris Farage said:

Yes, of course. But whose turn it is to do the dishes or walk the dog isn't legislated either. I would just expect the couple to have an understanding and to abide by that understanding. And to be honest with each other. It's not too much to ask, is it?

 

  It's not too much to ask. I guess I'm saying how much input you get to have should probably have come up at an earlier time. Preferably before you actually get married. If both spouses agree that they should try to reach a unanimous decision on things like this, then those are good ground rules to have and to stick with. If that conversation has never come up, then having it come up on the way to the doctors office may not be the ideal time. 

[Boris Farage 353]

3 minutes ago, laylalex said:

My ex is still smarting about not having had a chance to have a child with me

But... because you were on birth control, without telling him, yes? You're a nice girl laylalex, but I'll be honest: it doesn't sit well with me. I feel like he lived under a constant false hope. If he were to find out, would you blame him for being bitter?

 

3 minutes ago, laylalex said:

Well, unfortunately that ship has sailed. You're still a youngish man, as you mentioned in your email today, so what's keeping you in the past? If your ex really was as evil and conniving and deceitful as you said, maybe it's best to move on and let her ruin someone else's life.  

You make a good point. The past unfortunately has a habit of occasionally throwing a tentacle out and dragging me back. It's hard to tell sometimes where the lies began, and quite frankly, what were lies and truth. But then that's what the gym is for. 😉

[Boris Farage 353]

8 minutes ago, Steeleballz said:

 

  It's not too much to ask. I guess I'm saying how much input you get to have should probably have come up at an earlier time. Preferably before you actually get married. If both spouses agree that they should try to reach a unanimous decision on things like this, then those are good ground rules to have and to stick with. If that conversation has never come up, then having it come up on the way to the doctors office may not be the ideal time. 

Very, very sensible, I agree.

 

You're a fine man steeleballz. I'm sorry for mocking you earlier, it was very rude of me.

[laylalex 7,247]

4 minutes ago, Boris Farage said:

But... because you were on birth control, without telling him, yes? You're a nice girl laylalex, but I'll be honest: it doesn't sit well with me. I feel like he lived under a constant false hope. If he were to find out, would you blame him for being bitter?

 

You make a good point. The past unfortunately has a habit of occasionally throwing a tentacle out and dragging me back. It's hard to tell sometimes where the lies began, and quite frankly, what were lies and truth. But then that's what the gym is for. 😉

Okay, I will concede that if he found out he would be bitter. And furious, really. I guess I was just past caring by that point, and thinking of self-preservation. Can you imagine bringing a child into a wreck of a marriage? It was for the best, for all of us. I'm sure if I had managed to conceive, he would have found a way to take my child from me. He's got a lot of money to throw around at lawyers. It would have broken my heart twice over.

 

And the gym is a good place to work it all out! Especially if you're going to start dating again, as you mentioned. If you can keep away from that toxic ex, you'll be better off. I try to do that, but like you say, he has a habit of occasionally throwing HIS tentacles out and dragging me back! (And putting those tentacles on me, yuck.  )