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Then.. unthinkable happened...What I am about to say is awful

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My wife and I were happily married for 13 months. She came in on K1 visa. We did the whole process ourselves with the information from this site.  We had started our AOS and had a successful interview and were told during the interview that green cards would be issued for her and two sons very soon.


At the Beginning of the 14 month we had our first big argument.  We had got along so well that we were not very well prepared to handle a big difference of opinion.  (the argument had to do with timing of her upcoming visit to her home country.)  She had become very quite over the course of the next couple of weeks. We were polite and kind and trying to figure our way through this issue. 


Then the unthinkable happened.


There was a problem with the wireless cell account. I went online to troubleshoot and fix.  During my examination  I noticed a strange number. I googled it and found that it was an immigration lawyer.  This number had numerous call place to during the 6 weeks prior our argument. I panicked. I recalled that in the heat of the moment during our argument my wife mentioned returning home.  I did some quick research online to learn what the consequences would be if indeed, she left the country before green cards being issued. Of course, everywhere I read suggested someone in my case should immediately withdraw my I-864 Affidavit of Support to protect themselves.  I assumed she was secretly working with a lawyer to leave me.  It made no sense to me. Everything seemed so perfect. We were in love very much. How could she...?   My brain was crazy with adrenaline. For the next couple days I observed her actions. She was still very quiet and gave no indication wanting to talk about our argument. She just said "everything is fine", I was calm around her and watching everything but on the inside all kinds of crazy scenarios were playing out in my head.  I came here to VJ and read all kinds of horror stories... so.. I acted....

I sent a letter withdrawing my Affidavit of Support.  


Two days later, I went back to her phone records. This time I was looking for any clues or text messages or anything that might give an idea of what was going on.

What I am about to say is awful.  I went to website of the attorney phone number that I found. While looking at the website I recognized a face. It was the lady from our church who I had introduced to my wife so that she could start making friends.  I had completely forgot that this new friend worked as an employment immigration attorney.  The cell phone she uses must have been tied to her work, hence, why it came up list as the attorney’s office she works for. Then I looked at the dates of the calls and sure enough the matched up to the times she had gone to coffee or to workout with her new friend.   I felt terrible. My wife was not intending on leaving me!! The only thing that was leaving me was my common sense.


Anyway, the case was soon denied and when my wife found out she was absolutely devastated. She felt that I had betrayed her. She made immediate plans to return home with her two sons because she was very frightened to now be in the US without status.  Basically, there was no further discussion. Within a few weeks she returned home.  It was after she returned home that she became aware of how I misinterpreted that phone number.


Anyway, we have been talking during the 5 months since she left. She is working to understand the role she played in these events and she is working on understanding my actions as well.

Of course, there are other minor details that are omitted. Basically, we had a breakdown of trust and unproven communication skills to navigate our way through our first big challenge. (Plenty of counseling happening now.)

Anyway, we have reconciled.  I now want to bring her and sons in on IR1 or CR1 visa. 


My question is?  Do we stand a chance? (I’m sure there would be more scrutiny at the interview for sure.) But, has anybody heard of similar circumstance where i864 pulled, AOS stopped and the couple reconciled and were able to obtain new visas?


Apologies for the long story… but people are going to ask so I might as well get it done up front..


Thanks everyone for you welcomed input…

Edited by vancer
wrong word used

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I'm sorry to read this thread.......good luck..........

                    "What I am to be, I am now becoming"-  Benjamin Franklin     

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  • Marriage: 7/30/2015
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  • Case # and IIN#: 10/24/2016
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Sorry to hear this. As tragic as it may seem it does provide for a great story (and a well-written one, I might add). If they ask, just explain your actions as you did here. You should be fine either way. Best of luck!

03/04/2016 AOS (EB2-NIW concurrent with I-485) mailed to Lewisville TX Lockbox
03/07/2016 AOS delivered to USCIS and signed
03/12/2016 Case received by Nebraska Service Center (NSC)
03/14/2016 Text notification received for I-140/I-485/I-765/I-131.
04/08/2016 Biometrics notice received for 04/21
04/13/2016 Biometrics early walk-in completed.
04/15/2016 EAD/AP combo card received in mail.


Long wait begins...


11/04/2016 I-140/485 cases transferred from Nebraska to TCS
12/01/2016 Prepared package for EAD/AP renewal (expires 04/09/2017)
12/23/2016 USCIS suddenly changes several forms, invalidating my EAD/AP renewal package (not yet sent)
12/27/2016 USCIS suddenly reforms the entire NIW criteria system, replacing a 20 years old one. Uncharted waters. 
01/07/2017 (Saturday!) EAD/AP renewal package with new forms received in Phoenix "reception desk"
01/17/2017 EAD/AP renewal case accepted; text/email with receipt numbers was received
01/30/2017 Law firm finally confirms that USCIS has suspended processing all EB2-NIW cases due to new criteria. 
02/23/2017 USCIS slowly starts adjudicating NIW cases again.
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05/06/2017 Received a massive RFE on I-140 NIW case.
07/20/2017 RFE response received by USCIS (a very long response with 30 pages of docs)
09/14/2017 I-140 NIW approved!!! 
11/28/2017 RFE for new medical issued (plus another request re Supp J for employment which is clearly issued in error)
12/04/2017 RFE received in mail
12/07/2017 repeated medical exam for I-485
12/08/2017 Attorney receives documents for responding to I-485 RFE
12/21/2017 Response to RFE received by USCIS 
02/09/2018 I-485 approval (text, email) :)
02/08/2018 I-485 approval notice issued (the "welcome letter") - I'm LPR now
02/16/2018 Green card received


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Certainly doable.  Will be IR1 and IR2 visas.  Be very diligent about preparing the new packages, including a letter explaining what you have explained above.  Maybe get some third party help writing that letter.

Facts are cheap...knowing how to use them is precious...
Understanding the big picture is priceless. Anonymous

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😢 live and learn is part of marriage... very sad, and I’m positive many couples going through this god forsaken process have suffered from trust and/ communication issues.. 


file I-130 and provide an explanation if asked.


good luck

CR1/IR1 - USC Spousal Visa

  • Married 14 April 2018
  • I130 Package Sent 30 Sept 2018
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  • Assigned to Nebraska 😢
  • Change Address 12 Jan 2019
  • Still Waiting 😭😭😭



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*** Moved to "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits"


VJ Moderation

“When starting an immigration journey, the best advice is to understand that sacrifices have to be made; whether it is time, money, or separation or a combination of any or all.” - NuestraUnion

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1 hour ago, MorganandMichael said:

She still wants to stay with you after you went through her phone multiple times, made assumptions about what you found, and then went behind her back to sabotage her AOS instead of doing the adult thing and you know, asking her about your concerns?


If you get denied it will be the best thing that's ever happened to her. I'm sorry I do not find this story sad at all, at least for you. It's tragic for her that she moved to a new country for a relationship with a partner that clearly doesn't trust her. What happens if you get approved and you start your lives together and find something else on her phone you don't like, or are suspicious about? 


I don't even understand the jump to withdraw the I-864 if she was planning on returning to her country. That's usually the step you take when you are afraid she would stay in the US and keep you on the line for any public charges. Bizarre. 


I suggest couples therapy. Lot's of it. 

Your viewpoint is very much appreciated.  As are all, thus far regarding my original post.


Yes, I made this mistake. My lack of trust/communication was uncovered in way that caused suffering to my family. (I wish I had been better polished in this area.) I own responsibility.


Therapy has started. Couples therapy planned.  I do believe that if trust/communication can be restored, continually nurtured and improved throughout the rest of our time together, then a real chance of having a strong meaningful and fruitful marriage may exist.


My wife is wonderful lady and I am truly fortunate that she has entered my life.  Our relationship the first year was an absolute dream and delight for both us. She and I have grown and experienced many beautiful things during that time.  I am hoping for many more.


Thank you for taking time to comment!

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