Hardest adjustment?

[Zoeeeeeee 795]

7 hours ago, wbeem said:

I couldn't have said it better!  

I also feel so much more valued here than I ever did in the UK.  My husband and me are always looking for ways to do things for each other.  After being the main (and only) breadwinner in the home for over a decade it was an adjustment to have to ask for money (or to get something I needed at the grocery store).  He earns way more than me and takes care of us and the bills. But I've saved him a fortune because apparently he never used to look at prices and I do 😂!

As for work, just like you said!  

The other thing I found in the US is that it is so much easier to make friends.I find it generally much warmer and more receptive than the UK. 

Same! I can’t imagine that I’ll ever earn more than Herschell, so he’ll likely always pay for more bills etc - but he’s so not savvy when it comes to shopping and finding bargains/economical options - I’m sure he never looks at the price tags on the shelf, so I definitely save him money in that respect 🙃.

 

Also agree re making friends - in the six months I spent in LA, I formed some really strong bonds, that I just couldn’t imagine making here in such a short space of time.

[futurecoloradogrl 82]

On 7/12/2019 at 9:34 AM, Zoeeeeeee said:

Same! I can’t imagine that I’ll ever earn more than Herschell, so he’ll likely always pay for more bills etc - but he’s so not savvy when it comes to shopping and finding bargains/economical options - I’m sure he never looks at the price tags on the shelf, so I definitely save him money in that respect 🙃.

 

Also agree re making friends - in the six months I spent in LA, I formed some really strong bonds, that I just couldn’t imagine making here in such a short space of time.

 

I completely agree that making friends seems so much easier over there! Here in the UK I only really have one close local friend that I meet up with regularly (known each other 8 years), it's nice to have at least someone but I'd love some variety. Had a friend visiting town today who I hadn't seen in a year and was surprised how refreshing it was to have a face-to-face conversation with someone I know well who isn't family. I do go to the gym for classes 4-5x a week and make small talk with the other regulars but it doesn't become anything more than just acquaintances. 

 

I'd really love to make new friends in the US, especially as this long process has been pretty lonely (those of us not travelling to the US during processing for fear of being turned away, slowly wrapping up your life getting ready to eventually leave, etc) and I'm so excited for some change - I'm sure all of you have felt the same to some extent. 

Edited July 13, 2019 by futurecoloradogrl
1 word

[Zoeeeeeee 795]

11 hours ago, futurecoloradogrl said:

 

I completely agree that making friends seems so much easier over there! Here in the UK I only really have one close local friend that I meet up with regularly (known each other 8 years), it's nice to have at least someone but I'd love some variety. Had a friend visiting town today who I hadn't seen in a year and was surprised how refreshing it was to have a face-to-face conversation with someone I know well who isn't family. I do go to the gym for classes 4-5x a week and make small talk with the other regulars but it doesn't become anything more than just acquaintances. 

 

I'd really love to make new friends in the US, especially as this long process has been pretty lonely (those of us not travelling to the US during processing for fear of being turned away, slowly wrapping up your life getting ready to eventually leave, etc) and I'm so excited for some change - I'm sure all of you have felt the same to some extent. 

I have some close friends here, but they all span back several years. One of the key differences is disposable incomes I think...

 

In LA, people (or the people I know), seem to have much more disposable incomes, in terms of how frequently they go out for breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks, movies, axe-throwing (yep, that’s a real one)...generally me and my fiancé will go out 3-6 times a week, sometimes alone but generally with friends - so I see friends waaay more often than I do here (I was raised by a single mother, so even going out weekly seems a treat to me).

 

I’m also part of a workout group that meets up 4-5 mornings a week out there, so again, there’s that social element of seeing friends there, multiple times a week - and external, 6:30am workouts are definitely a US thing and not something I could do here!

 

So I think there are lots of factors that influence it - the weather is definitely a big one - in terms of making socialising easier.

 

I have to be honest, one of the things I’m worried about is how much I’ll miss my best friend - it struck me a few weeks ago and I called my fiancé in tears, telling him how it took 12 years for me and my bestie to become so close - and I’m worried we’ll drift apart when I move - and whilst it’s easy to make friends in LA, a best friend is hard to come by. 😢 

[futurecoloradogrl 82]

2 hours ago, Zoeeeeeee said:

 

I have to be honest, one of the things I’m worried about is how much I’ll miss my best friend - it struck me a few weeks ago and I called my fiancé in tears, telling him how it took 12 years for me and my bestie to become so close - and I’m worried we’ll drift apart when I move - and whilst it’s easy to make friends in LA, a best friend is hard to come by. 😢 

 

I'm so sorry you have to leave your best friend! That must be so hard. If it helps, my fiance has done 2 big moves in his life and still kept in touch with several great friends. He does a phone or skype call or plays an online game with them once a week, and we make sure to visit them at least once a year. Bonus if they come to visit us too. One pair he's been friends with since kindergarten, and another two he's known since elementary school. I imagine it's an adjustment at first but that you would come up with a new routine and really look forward to the regular chats and occasional visits. 

 

Please keep us updated on how LA is too! It sounds like everyone's routines are a lot different from here in the UK, and getting to go out with friends so often would be fun. We were thinking of possibly moving to California in a couple of years, but have also been missing the East Coast (and our friends and family there too). 

[Zoeeeeeee 795]

7 hours ago, futurecoloradogrl said:

 

I'm so sorry you have to leave your best friend! That must be so hard. If it helps, my fiance has done 2 big moves in his life and still kept in touch with several great friends. He does a phone or skype call or plays an online game with them once a week, and we make sure to visit them at least once a year. Bonus if they come to visit us too. One pair he's been friends with since kindergarten, and another two he's known since elementary school. I imagine it's an adjustment at first but that you would come up with a new routine and really look forward to the regular chats and occasional visits. 

 

Please keep us updated on how LA is too! It sounds like everyone's routines are a lot different from here in the UK, and getting to go out with friends so often would be fun. We were thinking of possibly moving to California in a couple of years, but have also been missing the East Coast (and our friends and family there too). 

Thanks 🙃. It’s ok though - I think that’s the thing with emigrating - you give up a lot, but you gain a lot too...

 

I won’t see my family and best friend as much...but I’ll get to wake up next to my future husband every day and eat dinner together every night - and we’ll get to start our own family. Plus, we will visit the uk every year and my family and friends will come to visit me too, so we’ll see each other every six months.

 

So I guess when thinking about what you’ll miss (Skips, Nik Naks, family...in no particular order 😆😆), it’s about reminding yourself what you’ll gain (the vegan ice cream selection at Wholefoods, future husband...also in no particular order 😆)...